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Or “Why the problem with wargaming is you”
Have you ever heard this question? I’m sure you have: “Why aren’t there more girls who play wargames?”
Now, I’ve got to say that there certainly are women who play wargames. Just on a quick trawl of the popular pocasts, we have Nicole “Total Fangirl” Wakelin on The D6 Generation; we have the 11th Company crew and we have Painter Sarah of Dragonfly Miniatures on Dice Like Thunder. I know for a fact that a club in Cambridgeshire, UK, claims as many as nine girls on the membership register. But despite these statistical blips, there’s no denying that wargamerettes are a rarity, and I have a theory as to why this might be. But before I expand on that theory, let’s take a look at why it isn’t.
First of all, it’s not the war. There is a popular myth that anything with “war” in it is an automatic turnoff for the ladies, but this clearly isn’t true. When I served in the Royal Army Medical Corps at least half of our intake of new recruits was female and the number of applications from women was growing. Yes, women look at war differently to men, but that doesn’t mean it’s a turnoff.
Nor is it the “grim darkness” of the background (an epithet which applies perfectly well to games as diverse as Malifaux, AT-43 and, let’s be fair, the Napoleonic wars as it does to the games that spawned the expression). The Black Library novels, and the Horus Heresy series in particular, have been hugely popular across the gender spectrum, and the spin-off roleplay games of Warhammer Fantasy, Dark Heresy and its stable have drawn many new players into the shadow of the Warhammer worlds from both sexes. Roleplaying in the worlds of Vampire the Masquerade, Shadowrun, Oblivion or Dungeons & Dragons enjoys a strong female fanbase.
And nor is it the obsessive pursuit of hobby perfection seen in the finest collections of painted miniatures. In the hobby world, some of the biggest names and most innovative artists are women like Jennifer Haley and Victoria Lamb (and, of course, the aforementioned Painter Sarah).
However, before I go on to reveal my theory, I have to stop and admit that, whilst I’ve said that none of those things are keeping women out of the hobby, I’d be remiss not to accept an important prior consideration: the combination of the three points I’ve already touched on unquestionably do act as a series of significant hurdles to whittle down the number of women who might be interested. We can see this in the popularity of MMORPGs in a fantasy setting: there are plenty (millions!) of women playing and enjoying these games because whilst they contain the trinity of war, grimness and obsession, they dilute them to the point that they cease to be the hurdles they appear to the potential entrant to the more demanding tabletop gaming scene. But it needs to be said that whilst these hurdles do certainly reduce the number of women in the hobby, they also reduce the number of men! Because it’s the same things that face every potential new hobbyist, regardless of their sex. But there is one thing that, I believe, keeps more women out of the hobby than it does men, and that’s us, the wargamers.
Once entrenched in a community of players, wargamers – who tend to be, individually, open-minded, innovative, tolerant and intelligent – become inflexible, intransigent, unimaginative and boring. Not only that, but they marinade their hobby in soft drinks, fast food and alcohol and willingly descend into a fog of second-hand smoke, body odour and yesterday’s clothes. Am I wildly generalizing? Yes, I am. But try this at your next club meeting, event or tournament: count the number of beards; the number of ponytails; the number of T-shirts that can’t reach over the belly to be tucked into the cargo pants; the number of soft drink bottles and cans; the number of packs of crisps or pretzels; the number of pizzas. Now count the number of women. I am as guilty as anyone. At 34, I have a ponytail and shave only when my children complain. I don’t have a gut, but I do use my wargaming club meetings as my one excuse per week to drink sodas and scoff unfeasibly large bags of crisps. So I am going to change.
This summer, the ponytail is coming off, and I’ll be doing it for charity (so watch this space, as I’ll be demanding your money with menaces). I’m also going to try to change my club eating habits and take chopped carrots, cherry tomatoes and grapes in a pot to snack on, and a flask of tap water or roibos tea to drink. I’m going to put on a clean T-shirt when I go out. I’m doing my small part to make my gaming area, not into somewhere that actively invites women gamers (I draw the line at scented candles), but at least into somewhere that doesn’t physically repel them. I’m not doing this because I want more women gamers; but rather because I don’t want any gamer who’s prepared to jump the hurdles of war, grimness and obsession to be brought down at the final gate by an assault of testosterone.
Will we ever see a 50/50 male/female population of wargamers? I seriously doubt it. But the only qualification anyone should need to be a wargamer is the desire to be a wargamer, and if I can reduce any obstacle in a potential player’s way, then I will. Will you?
Posted by Precinct Omega
on June 1 2010. Filed under Blog.
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Huh, My fiancee play's Eldar. But then I invite people into my home to play rather than go out to game stores. I don't really understand why soda and pizza is such a hurdle compared to the mountains of wargamers who don't actively encourage women to play. I think if one or more players in a gaming club bothered to talk to a woman about how much fun the game was it would be different. I've heard a lot of people at my local game store talk down to their wives/daughters like they wouldn't understand. You're right it is us, not just our environment but our whole secritive nature about the game. I think i'll write an article about that, but anyway. Its true as a hobby we need to address that…
Maybe some of us just need the personal space — you're married to the hobby first, the woman second. As the Emperor decrees, so it shall remain.
Or maybe I'm just blowing steam.. it's true, I'd love it if my fiancé would play. She likes to paint, but that's it. I've talked to her about the hobby, and how engaging and fun it can be.. but no luck. After reading this, I wonder if it's not her, but the other members of the so called “Gaming Club”.
I think it's just easier to blame others for the problem than accept it as our own. Precint was suggesting that as individuals we should change how we act so that we improve the game and make it more inviting. I know a lot of people who lack the social report with the opposit sex and who litterally treat the hobby as some bastion of manhood. Its like the garage in Married with Children for some people, that one place women won't go. I actively try to invite anyone who seems interested into the game, men and women. I just do it because it's more fun to have more people to play with. Its interesting to see how quickly those rude behaviors correct themselves the instant a woman makes it clear they aren't just there to watch. As a social group we all have something which will drive someone off, we can only correct ourselves so it has to start with us. We can't just change the gaming group over night.
Amen, brother. This is definitely the truth. My sister and girlfriend are both intrigued by both versions of warhammer, and both enjoy hearing about it in detail, but neither of them want to actually spend any time in a game store, or be around wargamers that they don't already know well. They just get creeped out.
There's a young attractive girl at my work that plays Tyranids. She only plays at home, as she feels ogled and pestered when she goes into a game store.
Girl…gamer…boobs…Like none of them has ever seen a girl before. So one other piece of advice for all of us, treat the female gamers with respect and class. Don't make them feel like a piece of geek meat, and they may want to come back.
well bing a girl myself think that some gamers do discourage girls from joining with there actions. and its more than the crappy food and cans of mountain dew. And while a clean shirt wouldn't hurt its more the way a girl gets treated by gamer dudes. at one convention I had a 60 year old man (with less then a dozen sound teeth in his mouth) pretty much stuff his nose in my clevage and tell me i had a pretty smile. . . okay i do enjoy being admired, and yes i sometimes wear cloths that set off my assets nicely, and yes i know if i chose to wear revealing clothing it is an invite for people to look but have a little class! and just as a hint if you see a girl at game day just ask “do you Play?” its better then assuming that if they are there they must have been dragged there buy the boyfriend and have no intrest themselves. it makes us feel more comfortable when we come to play and you dont look like an ass staring at our chest!
You can take the women, but you will never take my beard!
On the topic of how women get treated at the gamestore, theres a “seedy bar” syndrome if an attractive woman hangs around too often. IE, getting hit on by completely random strangers. In some situations and with some women, this is acceptable, but I'm pretty sure alot of them don't go there to get a date (Which is, ironically, about 100% the opposite of what alot of guys are hoping for as soon as a female walks into the store!) and while the social gender may not turn down some conversation, the difference in gender seems to get excessive very quickly (Like Ork Queen mentioned).
I went to the game club for the first time with my friend to play on they're tables, and our female friend who is quite attractive (Much to the chagrin of both of us, who had dated her multiple times in the past >_<). She just went to paint her Chaos as we played, and was sort of back by herself since we were already playing on the corner table. However, no less than 4 guys completely passed up the game in progress and never acknowledged it at all to basically walk up to her who was next to us and say “So…. I see your painting.” After she gave them some polite but short replies they eventually got bored and wandered away. At least one guy had a bit of tact and came over to talk to her, but also commented a bit on the game. (Then his trenchcoater jacket knocked my killed Warboss off the table and his arm came off…) Anyway, thats my anecdote on the subject, and my morale is: Only 1 out of 5 wargamers will passup they're supposed hobby when a woman is around. Interpret that as you will, haha.
I think you hit it right on the head with this article. In my experience girls have always liked a guy with a hobby, warhammer is an awesome hobby. But the stereotypical lifestyle(which i laughed when i read cause it describes alot of my friends in a nutshell)
I agree is what turns them away. I use to fit your description to the letter. But I found since I did what your doing(ponytail off, regular shaving, even started working out a lot more) warhammer has been something that hasn't 'turned girls away in my life'
But rather turns to a plus because warhammer is something i think all players and painters can agree takes certain skills.
Now I know i havent really commented to the girl to guy ratio aspect of your article but i think your right, It has to start somewhere, and that is a good place to start.
I think you're projecting a bit here. Grubby, dirty places filled with grubby, dirty, socially inept men aren't the kind of places I like to go to either. Puts me right off. The last gaming club I really enjoyed going to was in Widnes; it was run by a group of ex-military boffins, had a policy on personal hygeine, cracked down on silly behaviour, was packaged and run as a place that was as open and welcoming as possible, and was generally a really nice place to go and do hobby stuff.
The number of female regulars there? Zero.
The number of female regulars at the grotty shit-pit in Birkenhead where four AC units were needed to contain the body odour stench and the carpet was almost compltetely obscured by Hob Nobs packets? Two, plus the WAGs who sometimes found themselves dragged along.
I don't know why you don't see more women at gaming clubs. That's a question I'd ask female wargamers before I, as a man, started theorising over it. I just know you don't see them, but from what I've seen it doesn't have much to do with the male member's hygeine. Nor does it have to do with the number of beards, especially not when we're talking about mine, which is awesome
I agree with some points, but from personal experience the comments are closer to the actual issue. Girls feel uncomfortable when they come to our local game shop and there's 20 guys there who immediately focus on them. As a result, my GF and I don't go on Saturdays usually, because it's uncomfortable for her-as “geek meat”, well put-and myself, because I'm friends with these guys and they can be downright crude. We have a couple of people in our crew that play on Thursdays and Fridays, and occasionally Sundays, who play at a friend's house for this very reason.
Myself and a couple others of this tighter-knit group carry a pilot army, a couple hundred points each, to teach new potential players what we're about. A quick demo holds attention of passers-by much better than a long game. Try that; as someone said, ask if they play. If they say no, offer a quick tutorial. If they refuse, they're probably there with someone, so LEAVE THEM ALONE. Politeness is okay, as a friendly person talking to another, but drooling is highly frowned upon. If they say yes, make the games inviting. Make them fun. Use your imagination. Don't get into the knitpicky rules about cohesion and disembarking, cover, and wargear. Do a shooting phase, an assault phase, some movement, and leave it at that. You'd be surprised how many people have played a couple of quick games, both men and women, who then went out into the store proper with me and picked out their first model(s).
As for the refreshments, we play in a huge building. It's 80 degrees at night, 100 in the day. We keep it cool, but the outside is withering. Sandwiches, SOME chips, fruit, water, and tea are staples in our store. there's soda for someone wanting something a bit fizzy, and outdoor areas to stretch your legs after hunching over a table.
Lastly, keep the ridiculous comments to yourself. Men, as we will be, will call each other scathing names in good fun, but the moment mixed company arrives, we tend to forget that it's in poor taste to continue with the comments. You can move out of range of someone who needs to change their shirt, but it's much harder to get away from someone shouting insults across the room.
Getting women into 40k is not all that hard. For some (My GF who has no interest much to my chargin) it is not for them. For others it is an excuse to enjoy the peaceful times of our lives.
I liked the Pilot army idea and I think i will be using that from now on. It will help and increase the store i go to over all business.
I can not wait until I get out of the Military I am going to open up my own gaming store. . .
The problem you observe in the proportion of men and women in wargaming can be also found in other manly geeky communities like the open source world. There you don't have the hygiene problem, because most of the interaction is made online, but is easy to find sexist behavior against women.
There are some initiatives to bring women to open source like http://ubuntu-women.com/, http://www.linuxchix.org/ and others. The more important steps to start reverting this trend are:
– Encourage ANY person to play Warhammer, without gender distinctions.
– Be polite with EVERYONE. Again, forget about the gender.
– If you think someone is not being polite with other person in the group, just call his attention in a polite way. Explain to him that probably that person (and almost anyone in the group) don't want to be flattered/hear his burps/walk over the snacks that fell from his greasy hands/whatever_you_find_disgusting_but_usually_don't_mention_to_keep_your_virility_high.
– Maybe I wasn't clear enough, so I will repeat it. FORGET ABOUT THE GENDER DISTINCTION.