Overall looks good.. a few things I'd like to point out
For the last points get 3 Lascannon teams as Anti-Tank support for your HQ and give them the doctrine Sharpshooters.. they will hopefully take care of any Killa Kans..
On your Inf. Plat. Commands: remove the ML for a Mortar instead.. your command should stand in cover instead of being a target
the JO in the other command squad doesnt need the PW either.. if he gets in CC he is doomed anyway.. also lose the 4 flamers as they should be in cover and give them a Mortar also..
I dont see any reason to give a Demolisher Plasma Cannons as its main cannon has higher strenght, large template and a just as good AP value.. lose em and save the points
Dunno if you can change it in time, but overall it looks good..
- Loek