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Added Inquisitor Tylerius
Added Landius, and bullseye bombing
Ever wonder who people are talking about? You know, when they say that THIER marines never shirk from things that make "normal marines" soil thier Mk V's? That they can take positions no other marines can take, that they take Earthshaker rounds in the face and say "Excuse me, but that is a lovely breeze"? Who are these other marines, these marines that DO run away, that CANT take that positon, who DO die when a lasgun grazes thier greaves?
Today I present to you those heros. Here they are ladies and gentlemen, The Emperors SHIELD MARINES!
Chapter name: Shield marines
Saying: In the name of the Emperor, please kill us!!
Colors: Red, with white trim.
Symbol: Big red bullesye on all parts of their armor
Chapter traits: None, at all, except for dying easily
The shield marines chapter originated from Earth. A executive order from all twelve high lords of Terra decreed that a new space marine chapter should be created, a propaganda chapter. The order stated that the Shield Marines should not be given any enhancements, past history, or extraordinary wargear/training. They would in a sense, be “lesser” marines. The shield marines primary creation objective was to be so much worse then other marines at accomplishing their tasks, that other marine chapters would appear to be “godly” in comparison.
The project became a complete success. At every major battle in the Imperium, from the Badab war to the Black crusades, the shield marines have been posted. Given their lack of ability, most imperial forces call in for additional aid in the form of other marine chapters. When these chapters arrive, victory comes at a much higher rate, and their abilities seem amazing in comparison. In fact, because of the creation of this chapter, space marine godliness rating has gone up 200%, and morale of imperial forces increased 600%.
No chapter in the Adeptus Astartes has ever agreed to fight beside the Shield marines. They are a complete disgrace to space marines, the weakest and the lowest form. Per combat rating, shield marines are the equivalent to 2 guardsmen. With such a low ability to achieve, the marine chapter has zero self victories under its belt. But the chapter is beyond just normal size. Due to It’s high casualty rates, the marines must constantly recruit from the holy world of terra, were everyday, peasants and the poor line up for their induction. Induction is in its basic, a suit of cardboard power amour, and a Ompehila organ to stop paper cuts.
Due to their lack of everything cool, Shield marines are constantly pessimistic, if not suicidal. Since the massacre of 12th company, when all 100 marines killed themselves via lasgun, every company must be accompanied by a Chaplain, whom must also be accompanied by an inquisitor, as the chaplains tend to become suicidal as well.
Shield marine stats
WS BS S T W I A LD SV Pts
3 4 3 4 1 8 1 7 4+ 12
Depressed: Shield marines must take a LD check every turn if a Chaplian is not on the table.
Take the Bullet: Shield marines are adept at dying and taking enemy fire. When a shield marine squad takes multiple wounds, check the squad size. If the squad is above or at 50% a wounded marine may opt to take a second wound, thus saving a member of his squad from death.
Meat Shields: Over the years, the emporers forces have learned to use the Shield marines as just that, shields. Whenever an ally or other marine squad are targeted, check Los if there is another squad in front of them. If so, the shield marines in front may opt to take the incoming fire. This ability does not take effect if the weapons are indirect fire.
Chapter Master Bolterius to the Headeus
Chapter master Bolterius is the 200th chapter master in the Shield marines chapter. Due to everyone else in the chapter sucking up the enemy fire, the chapter masters tend to think they are real marines, and get themselves killed pretty quickly.
Chapter master Bolterius has the tactical experience of a 9 yr old, and has led the 2nd company to complete ruin on several occasions. Equipped with the “big Bullseye” Bolterius leads the chapter to grief and misfortune on the battlefields of the imperium
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv Pts
4 2 4 4 2 3 2 7 3+ 65
Big Bullseye: Where most bullseye of the chapter direct enemy incoming small arms fire, the Big Bullseye is meant to direct artillery fire. Whenever artillery weapons are on the field, roll a d6. on a roll of 4+, the artillery crews cant resist firing at the bullseye, and target Bolterius.
Equippded with plasma pistol, power weapon
Chaplain Deppresum has been head Chaplain for the Shield marines for over 50 yrs, which is quite the life expectancy when it comes to shield marines. Leading the chapters overall speeches, Chaplain Deppresum has caused over 23 marine suicides due to his lack of valor, zeal, and overall doldrums mood. Chaplain Deppresum is equipped with the Crozius Saddinium.
Recently, Deppresum has come under inquisitorial suspicion, when during the siege of Broklaw V, he entered the com system and gave a speech to all Imperial forces involved with the crusade. His speech was so awful and sad that 80% of all Guard units threw themselves on their own trench spikes, crippiling the Imperial forces and losing Broklaw to the Imperium forever
Deppresum is equipped also with a bolt pistol
WSBS S T W I A L D SV Pts
4 3 4 4 2 5 3 10 d6 85
Crozius Saddinium: This specially modified crozius contains nothing of the emperors holy light. Instead, it is filled with the sad monotonous spirit of a dead adminstratium clerk named Derick. When struck with the crozius, those hit must take a LD check. If they fail, the enemies are removed as they all ritually commit suicide
Faildarius: The faildarius is a negative Rosarius. When Deppresum must take a SV check, roll a 2 d6. For the first roll, count that as Deppresum’s SV. For the second roll, add that to the second dice. He cannot have a save high then 6+. This save is invulnerable
Horrible Oratory: Saddimiums speeches are so awful that, in the shooting phase, he may choose to target one squad. That squad must, even if it normally wouldn’t have to (TAKE THAT FEARLESS!!) take a LD check. If they fail, they fall back 2d6 for d6 amount of turns.
Inquisitor Tylarius has recently been stationed with the Shield Marines chapter due his characertistic push overness and all around paranoia. A man who has stumbled and tripped his way to Inquisitoral rankhood, Tylarius has developed a pychosis of paranoia and trigger happy syndrome that makes a commisar's exectution list look like a space marine casualty figure. Because of his low value and vagueness, Tylarius has the sad task of keeping the shield marines in line and free from mutation. Unusually, Tylarius does not see the down side to this station, the usual dolldrums mood that accompanies those with the chapter unaffecting him. Specualtion suggests that this is because Tylarius is already a downtrodden spirit, that or he must be of demon kin to avoid such sucidal madness. Tylarius is best known for his appliance retinue. Forces of the imperium gawk and stare slack jawed in the thick of battle, where the Inquisitor and his appliance retinue join the fighting. With his ant-grave clothes hook, treaded cabnient, teleporting coat rack, and other such odd accessories, Tylarius's paranoi takes to the extreme. Trusting nothing less then the items he uses in his daily life, Tylarius refuses to accept any other form of aid.
To quote one guardsmen spectator
"I've never seen anythin' like it sirs! We were gettin pinned down by heavy bolter fira', when all of a sudden a great flash and boom! There's this coat rack! I know! No joke, and this coat rack starts smackin' soldiers' left an right, when we here this sudden growl and a big frakkin' cabinet comes trumbling up! Auto cannon and a big Gakin' claw rippin through the enemy! I swear sir, on the Emporer!....Hey...uhh what are you doin with that commisa-" Guardsmen executed for possible chaos taint.
Tylraius is equipped with a specially modifided bolt pistol, a rigged auspex, and "Power" sword.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV Pts
3 2 3 3 2 3 3 8 4+ 80
Trigg' happy pistol: This specially modified bolt pistol was a gift from the peoples of Drylinka lll, for leaving the planet, please. Inscribied on the holster of the pistol itself are the wordings, "please, please, PLEASE, never come back" The people of Drylinka lll are not know for thier gun craftsmanship, and severl theories suggest that the weapon was created to in fact kill Tylarius. The pistols trigger, once engaged, sticks to the back of the gun, until the magazine runs out. Due to the high rate of fire, the gun has 0 accuracy (shown in profile), and is a Assualt 4 bolt pistol, that follows the "gets hot" rules of plasma guns.
Rigged Auspex: Perhaps as a cruel joke, or a gift from another planet "saved", this auspex has been in Tylarius's possesion since his station with the Shield Marines. Whether the readings are true are not, the auspex shows a battlefield swarming with enemy soldiers. to represent this confusion, at the begining of every game, take a morale test for Tylarius. If he fails, roll 2d6 and a scatter die, and move Tylarius there.
Sword: Another cruel joke, this "sword" has long been a personal favorite of Tylarius's armoury. Labelled, "power" sword, the sword has nothing of the qualities that embody an actual power weapon. Rather, the swords name itself is "Power". Misread by Tylarius, the Inquisitor rushes into battle, bieleving he wields a true power weapon. But through faith alone, the properties of the weapon have been known to change, as first hand accounts speak of the weapon itself charging with the emperors most holy light.
Every time Tylarius attacks, make a morale check. If Tylarius passes, his weapon is filled with faith alone, and ignores all armour saves, inculding invulnerable saves.
Paranoia: Tylerius is extremly paranoid, and as such will not under any circumstances lead any other allies of the Imperium into battle, besides his own retinue.
The appliance retinue of Inquisitor Tylerius is a mystery beyond that of even the Adeptus Mechanicus. How the Inqusitior managed to obtain such odd ended mechanisms is beyond even the Ordo Xenos own knowledge, and they are rumored to have originated from Holy Terra itself.
Tylerius's coat rack is his closest ally. Carrying not only his most favored 40,000 millenium trendy dark overcoats, the CoatRack also acts as his personal teleporation device, sending Tylarius and his retinue across the battlefield wherever they may be needed.
The coat rack is armed with three twin linked lasguns.
Ws BS S T W I A LD Sv Pts
2 4 2 3 1 3 2 10 4+ 50
Teleport: This ability allows Tylarius and his retinue to utilise the DeepStrike rules.
Fearless: The Coat Rack is FEARLESS!!!
The Cabinet is Tylarius's heavy hitter retinue personale. Moving on heavy treads, and reinforced with cermaite lining, The cabinent is a fearsome display of old terra style furniture and new age style whoop ass.
The cabinet is armed with a heavy bolter, and dreadnought close combat weapon.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV PTs
3 3 10 6 3 2 2 10 2+ 75
The cabinent may shoot and move normally as if its weapon were an assualt weapon.
Fearless: The cabinet is FEARLESS!
The Coat Hanger is the most unique member within the retinue. Acting as a personal shield to Tylerius and his coats, the Hanger spins himself around Tylerius, effectivly covering from all corners of incoming fire.
WS BS S T W I A LD SV PTs
2 2 2 3 2 3 1 10 5+ 30
ForceField: As long as Coat Hanger is in play, Tylerius benefits from a 4+ invulnerable save.
However, when ever the forcefield save is used, take an armour save for the coat hanger.
Fearless: The Coat hanger is FEARLESS TOO!!!
Bullseye Bombing: Whenever the enemy is too entrenched in a fortified position, or the local guardsmen are done exhausting thier basilisks (and casualty lists) it has been known for generals to call for aid in the form of none other then the shield marines. Bielieving themselves to actually be cool enough for drop pod landing, these occasions are the few moments when shield marine morale actually increases. Flying high over the battlefield in dressed up ThunderHawks (actually hangliders with dummy pilots) the shield marines make ready for low orbit deployment with thier special "terra issued" jump packs. These special edition jump packs have none of the qualities of acutal space marine jump packs. Instead, they are paper mache models fillied to the the brim with explosives. Once air borne, the shield marines are lead to bieleve they are bringing the fight to the enemes of the emporer. The battle cry of "IN the name of the emporer, Please dont shoot me down!" can be heard in the wind as the shield marines make planet fall. Unfortunatly, by the time half of them have exploded on touch down, the rest of the marines begin to realise whats going on and the battle cry quickly turns into, In the name of the emporer, HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET THIS THING OFF?!?!?
Bullseye bomb stats
Weapon Range Str. AP Type
Bullseye bomb Deep Strike 6 4 Heavy 1, blast
When useing the bullseye bomb deployment, roll the unit equippded as if rolling for deep strike. When successfull, place small blast templates equal to the number of models equippded where scatter die roll lands. Use barrage rule when placing multiple markers I.E. when first marker is placed, continue to roll 2d6 for each other blast marker based on first blasts location.
*Dud bomb*: On certain occasions, the explosives in a shield marines pack have been known to not go off (rare occasions) To represent this, for each model in the squad, roll a d6. If 5 or 6, place the space marine model rather the blast template. These models do not have to follow unit coherency, nor do thier change in squad size effect there leadership roll. And shield marines are not effected by other marine blast templates, as they are so frakking lucky for survivng the god emperor deems them worthy for some slack.
Landius, the ever surviving marine
Landius to date has been the only shield marine to survive more then one Bullseye bombing deployment. In fact, Landius has been sent on SEVEN different suici- i mean "deployments" and survived. Whether the will of the God Emporer, or more likely the Eldar Laughing god, every time Landius has been "deployed, he has survived. Being Proficent in living (a rare trait in the Shield Marines) Landius has been specially equippded by the Inquisition for that the day he does FINALLY blow up, it'll pack a mega punch.
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv Pts
4 4 3 4 2 1 3 8 4+ 100
Dud bomb of Fate: Having survived so many suici- ahh! i mean Deployments, Landius has become adept at disarming the massive bomb strapped to his back. When rolling for Landius's dud, roll a d6. On a 2 or more, Landius survives the crash and his bomb does not explode.
Chained Swords: Unlike many assualt marines who carry Chain Swords, Landius has been specially equippded with "Chained Swords". These are in fact, two swords that have been chained together at the blades. This makes them incredibly difficult to wield. For purposes of close combat, Landius always strikes on Inititive 1, as shown in profile. However, becaue of the deadliness of the weapon, all of Landius's attacks gain the Heavy attack profile.
Wait till he dies!: Landius knows his luck is running out, and has prepared to take down as many of the enemy (or allies) as he can. If (when) Landius dies, roll a d6. On a 3 or more, Landius dramatically flips the switch on his bomb, and all hell breaks loose. Place a large blast marker over Landius, and all troops caught in the blast suffer 1d6 Str. 8 Ap. 2 attacks.
Shield Marines! Are you ready to die...err kill in the name of the Emporer? Landius could here Deppresum's speech over the com, but all he could feel was deppression. The wind was galling the sides of the Thunderhawk, the slightest breeze causing the ship to rock back and forth. Strange, he had never seen a any other marines with such a cruddy thunderhawk. BANG Landius did not turn to the sound. Deppresum's oratory was reaching it's climax, and there were always a few brothers who took thier lives before a coming battle.
Now! in the name of the Emporer, get out there and TAKE A BULLE- I MEAN LIFE!
At this, the marines began jumping. Landius took his place at the back of the line, already sniping the blue cord attached to his "jet pack". It was always a tough decision, the blue or the red. Sometimes, he snipped the red, and sometimes the blue, it was always tough figuring out which one would blow up the bomb. He had a hinting suspicion that someone in the armoury was switching it.
As Landius reached the base of the ThunderHawk, he began tugging out his swords. "standard issue my ass" Thought Landius, as he jumped from the ThunderHawk, struggling to pull the weapon free from it's holster. "Here we go again".
You win three internets for this post. Definately for the win here...
A swirl of color and sound, a multisense blur I taste with my fingers and, and me at the center...
Ha! That's brilliant!
I used to think the British Roundel painted on their aircraft was a target there for the Germans to shoot at... I could never make sense of it.
And now, a chapter which embodies that spirit!
I can imagine this would be a good chapter to use if you just wanted a quick game - everything would be dead by turn two! Or at least, running away or sitting around moping.
The Shield Marines: Victory through Depression!
In the name of the Emporer, please kill us!! :rofl
Man it is hilarious and so original... And I wanted fresh, non-costing troops for my army's protection! 8X
Well done... brilliant work!
Thanks to all the people showing faith in me
I sometimes feel that everyone will leave me and they will be on their own...
Ah thanks for that. I though thier were only seven. And thanks for the positive feedback! Highly considering remodelling my Sm's into this, Ill post the pictures if i do
LOL ROFL and All things funny! 8X That was utterly hillarious. Seriously I almost wet myself laughing ... lol. OMG so ruddy funny mate! Nice work ;Y. Being an ork player I never take my army or its fluff seriously . I didn't think that could be as easy with space marines, but I was wrong :rofl
My top 3 favourite yoda quotes:
Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.
Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing.
When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not.
The Red Shirts Legion has finally arrived to 40K. No longer content to spread mediocre at best military acumen to the sets of Star Trek, the Red Shirt Legion is spreading its infamy to WH 40K.
When in doubt call in an ordnance strike.
All I can think of is the robot from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
"I am sooo depressed..." ;Y
I play my 40k with friendly fire.
Finally fixed the link!
all i can say is that made my day. freaking hilarious. I hope you really do make it, especially the commisar and his retinue