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Okay, I'm taking a big leap here and writing my first Chapter's fluff. It's been kicking in my head for a while, and I'd like to try and get it down and get some opinions on it.
Chapter Name: Phoenix Legion
Home Planet: Formerly the planet Goliath, now based on the Battle Barge Siochan.
Colors: Dark Blue with Bronze Trim
Early Imperial History: The pre-heresy origins of the Phoenix Legion have been lost to time or erased by the Imperium. What is known is that after the Horus Heresy, the marines that would become the Phoenix Legion were found lacking, having failed the Imperium in some way, but not in a meaningful enough way to warrant their execution. These failings did warrant restrictions on the Chapter, and a task of penance to atone for their sins. Soon after the Second Founding, after the more important marines had been formed into Chapters, these marines were formed into the Phoenix Legion, with their numbers capped at 500 Marines, rather than the standard 1,000. They were also tasked singly with guarding and protecting the men and women of the planet Goliath and their descendants, members of the Imperial Guard who had served heroically during the heresy and were rewarded with the colonization of this planet. Thus, the Phoenix Legion went forth from Terra and bent themselves to their tasks, and Imperial afterthought, watched only by the Inquisition for signs of whatever weakness had caused their failure in the first place. For 10,000 years they were successful in their task, defeating all manner of raids, assaults, and attacks from foes alien, heretical, and demonic alike.
The Defeat: This all changed at the turn of the 41st Millennium. Naval sentries, posted in order to warn the Legion of incoming attacks, were slowly and insidiously corrupted by agents of Nurgle, and this culminated in a full-scale destruction force by the dark marines of the Death Guard. The attack was swift, brutal, and amazingly successful, as the Phoenix Legion was without any warning and caught completely off guard by the arrival of the Chaos Marines. Virus bombs wiped out most of the planet in the blink of an eye, the ships that dropped them unharmed by the Naval defenses, now corrupted, that should have done their duty and protected the planet below. The Phoenix Legion struck back, but were off balance and massively outnumbered, and were slaughtered on the ground.
The Counter-Attack: Meanwhile, on Goliath's moon Alainn, training exercises were being conducted by the Phoenix Legion, with roughly 100 marines and scouts taking part. Much of the Chapter's wargear, including Terminator Armor, tanks, and the sleeping Dreadnoughts, were stored there as well. The Master of the 5th Company, Fionn, teleported along with the rest of the Marines, Scouts, and Dreadnoughts at Alainn onto the lead vessel of the Death Guard, and succeeded in slaying the Nurglish Champion leading the invasion. This threw the Death Guard assault into disarray as infighting broke out in their fleet, and their invasion withdrew from whence they came.
The Survivors, and Betrayal of the Imperium: The victory of the Phoenix Legion over the Death Guard came at a horrific price. Of the 500 Marines that once populated the Legion, less than 250 remained. Fionn was the most senior leader remaining to the Legion. Worse, of the billions of men and women that once populated Goliath, only 40,000 remained. The Legion evacuated all survivors from the ruined planet, and contacted the Imperium to inform them of the disaster and await instructions. As they did so, however, they were hailed by vessels of the Inquisition. Meeting with the Inquisitor Lord aboard his ship, Fionn and his retinue were informed that they had been found wanting again, and were considered weak, and corrupted by Chaos. Their disloyalty, the Inquisitor stated, long known, was now proven. Arguing that it was the Imperial Navy that had fallen led nowhere, and the Phoenix Legion, to a man, were to be put down. The surviving population of Goliath was to be executed for fear of taint, and its very existence expunged from Imperial history.
Upon hearing this, Fionn and his retinue were filled with rage, and the righteous desire to protect the people who they had been bonded to for 10,000 years. They fought their way from the Inquisitor's ship, killing many on their way, and had their ships break away in brutal battle and flee.
Current History: The Phoenix Legion now sails the stars, carrying with them the survivors of Goliath. They claim no master, hating the Dark Powers for destroying their world, and the Imperium for turning on them so brutally. They are in search of a world for the men and women aboard their ship, and for themselves, a place free from both man and dark god, where they can settle and be safe. There has been no respite so far, and the Legion has become adept at stealth and speed to evade those that would harry them. These skills, while new, seem to come naturally to the Legion.
Recently, messages from unknown origin have reached Fionn and his advisors, stating that their origins are known, their hatred understood, and that they have allies and brothers elsewhere in the stars, alike in their hatred of both Chaos and the Imperium. While these messages are not trusted, Fionn and his men are intrigued, and plan on seeking their origin and learning more...
Hope you liked it,
Last edited by Tekore; October 31st, 2007 at 02:14.
I'll get some up soon, I wanted to see what people thought of the story ideas I had in mind, but I have about a 1200 point painted army together, I'll post a few.
Seems very interesting, oh, do you mind if I steal your ideas about a Death Guard attack with virus bombs-I was looking for some chaos attack against my Gods of Malice.
Asking for suggestions without knowing what you're planning on doing is like asking a blind man what color shirt matches your eyes.
I admire your gusto for writing fluff about a chapter that has not had as illustrious a history as most other self-written chapters. It's good to hear about something other than an uber-awesome chapter that totally rocks at everything.
There was one thing that stuck out in my mind as I read this. So the Inquisitor Lord basically invites the now chapter master of an organization as dangerous as Space Marines into his living room and calls them cowards, then tells them he's going to kill them, and then what? He expects them to comply? I would think that someone wouldn't rise to the rank of Inquisitor Lord by lacking in tact and intelligence. I think that a much better way to explain this was that Fionn or someone in Fionn's retinue/chapter/surviving planet dweller had heard about being excommunicated and spread the word among the rest, thus leading to the fighting off the ship and withdrawing. This would also give a pretty bad twist because there would be no way of knowing if the rumor was true. After fighting their way off, there'd be no disputing they were going to be hunted, but maybe the action wasn't even necessary. But that's just my opinion. Take it how you want.
So how does the Chapter perform? How do they fight? Do they have anything besides their hatred of both Chaos and the Imperium that sets them apart from other chapters?
I think you need to spend more time on your floor.
2500 Black Templars
Hmmm, I'm not sure on the Inquisitor part, you make a good point. Going to have to do some thinking on that.
As for how they fight, I've been thinking about that.
Due to the now raiding nature of the Chapter (both for supplies and recruits), I've decided to take Blessed be the Warriors as a trait. This will allow me to take extra assault squads, fielding some as elites. I like this idea, as I will enjoy dropping down and speeding to objectives.
I thought for a long time about taking See, But Do Not Be Seen, so as to infiltrate more troops, and still might, but I think instead I'm going to go with a scary technique of using Cleanse and Purify if I take a second trait, so as to beef my Tac. Squads with 2 Flamers or a Flamer / Meltagun. I'm always amused with using Plasma elsewhere anyway, so I think this obsession with burning weapons may be the way to go.
I've also decided, even if it's not a trait, to build on the fact that the Chapter has a lot more suits of armor than it does members at the moment. Because of this, artificer armor is a popular choice, although Terminators are seen frequently as there are not many of these suits from Terra originally.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the Chapter for now.
so i'm having a little trouble understand where your chapter came from? Are they a 2nd founding chapter? i personally have problems when people create their own fluff surrounding the 1st and 2nd founding which are very much set in stone already. Why not have the chapter fail in task then was sent on a misson of pennence to protect this planet. It dosn't have to be set in just post-heresy, and in anycase the inquisition i feel wasn't organized enough at the time to have any authority at all. After all the inquisition was only founded AFTER the heresy. Dont get me wrong i like you idea, actually its really good. i just don't like the idea of another 2nd founding chapter.
I reject your reality and substitute me own!
Shoot, good catch. I didn't mean to fall into that particular trap. While I want my chapter to be older to later hint at distant unsavory relations (a la the Blood Ravens), I didn't mean to state it as Second Founding. The fluff above has been reworded.
Last edited by Tekore; October 31st, 2007 at 02:15.