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Imperialis_Dominatus · May 4th, 2008, 10:01

Don't read this if you don't like long threads.

Here's the Index Astartes of my Chapter. I'm working to polish it up and perhaps make it into a fully-fledged IA with pics and shiny bits and everything. Ambitious, considering my lack of experience with such things, but still. That's my goal.

The starred bits are what would be in those little dark boxes.

Index Astartes: Angels Ascendant (formerly Brotherhood of Wrath)

Origins

The Chapter formerly known as the Brotherhood of Wrath was formed in the 12th Founding of late M35, and designated Chapter 171. At their inception, the Brotherhood did not suffer from high rates of the Black Rage like their brother Chapters, though those few who suffered from its stigma were driven so insane by it they were completely unfit for combat; their bloodlust often forced the hand of a Chaplain to give them the Emperor’s Peace to avoid further casualties.

The Chapter chose to paint their armor dark blue, trimmed with red and yellow. Their symbol was a roaring lion’s head, a mark of Grand Master Amitiel’s personal heraldry and the character he desired his Chapter to uphold: “Ferocity and nobility, holy rage and honor; the traits we shall be known by, the mark of our immortality in His eyes.”

The Brotherhood of Wrath took the homeworld of Altius III at the behest of their Master of Sanctity, Malathion, who believed the Chapter would best be served by recruiting from amongst the people of that planet. The men and women of this planet were of a feudal system ruled over by a warrior-monk society; the planet was a harsh wilderness and the people of it were disciplined and tough, making excellent recruits and servants for the Chapter. The new Chapter vowed to protect the area from the predations of the denizens of the Maelstrom and, if possible, spearhead assaults into that dangerous territory to claim new worlds for the Emperor- which, it must be noted, they accomplished on several occasions.

The fervor of Altius III’s people had long been expressed in combat, but they hungered to expand their devotion to different areas. Visionary leaders combined the energy of the Altii people and the skill in art and edifice that Sanguinius’ sons are famed for to transform the planet.

Before the Chapter was founded, the planet was a vast wilderness with no true bastions; its people built fortresses, few and far between, against an unforgiving wilderness.

Mere centuries after the Chapter adopted the world for its own, these few bastions multiplied and grew. Temples and monuments to the Emperor’s glory rose alongside the ancient war-monasteries and walled cities of Altius III. The planet became a mix of artificial beauty and natural splendor, and the faithful came from across the galaxy to see its wonders. Among these, too, came young and devoted warrior-pilgrims determined to join the ranks of the Chapter. Altii, initially wary of outsiders, grew to accept those from beyond their world as true warriors like themselves.

On the field of battle the Brotherhood was famed as any Chapter inevitably is. True to the heritage of their parent Chapter, they kept the vast majority of their Chapter on active duty, and thus the designation of ‘Reserve Company’ would seem somewhat of a formality. Their victories filled volumes, and their sparse defeats were bought at a terrible price for the foe. Even unforgiving Imperial histories and the sharp tongues of Inquisitors cannot expunge legends of the Brotherhood from the people of the planets they liberated from alien dominion and heretical endeavors. But nothing that is good lasts in this galaxy, as time would tell.

Destruction of Altius

On the eve of vile Abaddon's 8th Black Crusade, a huge party of Violators, in direct contradiction to the thrice-cursed Warmaster's commands, rushed for Altius III. In vengeance for a humiliating defeat a half-millennium past, they razed the system, desecrating in that short week what had taken centuries to build. The vast majority of the Chapter, away on duty as Chapter dictate demanded, was too far away to respond, and the garrison was overwhelmed by the tide of Chaotics. It is rare indeed to see a Space Marine show weakness, but the Brotherhood were struck with sorrow deeper even than that of the masses of pilgrims at this loss.

Of course, such an offense would not be mourned long before the Brothers of the now homeless Chapter turned their minds and souls to vengeance. The Grand Master of the time, Lord Amon-Belloc, declared a hunt that would last "till not one Violator hides from our wrath, or the End, whichever comes to be first."

They were never to be so vulnerable again. What remained of the Chapter consolidated its strength in the Chapter’s fleet, with their main Battle Barge, Sword’s Vigil, renamed the Altius Rebirth and expanded upon to include the Chapter facilities of their destroyed Fortress Monastery.

Soon, they recovered their losses from the twin blows of a Black Crusade and a ravaged homeworld. They had a duty to maintain strength beyond their capacity to house, and so they bent their energies to gaining a larger fleet. Several smaller ships were easy to obtain, but the real boon came alongside another tragedy in the long, sad history of the Imperium.

A Chapter descended from the Brotherhood itself, the Lions of Causata, was obliterated in an ill-fated Crusade on the western fringes of the Maelstrom. Luckily an Imperial strike force, including a key contingent from the Brotherhood, was able to capture much of their resources from the Word Bearers who had seen the Chapter’s destruction- the pride of which was the decimated Chapter’s Battle Barge, His Shining Blade.

The Brotherhood attempted to strong-arm His Shining Blade from the Imperial agency that captured it, claiming that the Astartes resources should go to the parent Chapter by right of kinship. Predictably, resistance from the Imperial Navy was staunchly against the expansion of an already-upsized fleet belonging to an Astartes Chapter. Thus the Chapter called in several favors with many wealthy allies and promised precious Oaths of Succor to the Adeptus Mechanicus and other influential parties to gain ownership of the Battle Barge. The Chapter’s persistence was rewarded, at the chagrin of the Navy, and His Shining Blade was theirs.

With a fleet to suit their needs, the Chapter fought across the galaxy, gaining new recruits for the Chapter and establishing numerous Keeps watched over by a small staff of officers and numerous serfs. These Keeps would oversee the recruitment and creation of the Chapter’s Scouts, and send them to the Rebirth for further training.

In this way the Chapter dealt out the Emperor’s wrath, striking fear into the hearts of the scum that inhabits the Maelstrom. Despite the several blows fate had dealt them, they rose with greater furor than ever before. And of course, any rumor as to the whereabouts of the Chapter’s sworn enemy, the Violators, was seized and acted upon with haste. The area around the Maelstrom saw a noticeable improvement under their unflinching gaze.

There is a dark secret to the success of the Brotherhood. After the death of Altius III, every ounce of energy the Chapter possessed, every string they could pull, every tie they could use was exerted towards the destruction of the Violators and the gaining of power to destroy the Emperor’s foes. Every hint at a chance for vengeance was seized upon. Even those beyond the understanding of mortals...

The Acension

The Librarians of the Chapter went into trances to hear in the echoes of the Warp, to release their spirit-selves and sail the ebb and flow of its energy. All is known upon the Sea of Souls, and at times the gibbering of Daemons and the surges of energy led to revelations in the hunt.

The Grand Librarian Algamar, in these sojourns, found what he believed to be a powerful, benevolent Warp power. Over the decades of studying this being, he came to believe he was in contact with the Emperor's soul, bolstered by the adulation of Mankind’s trillions and the endless sacrifices made to sustain him over ten thousand years. Slower still, over centuries, he used this knowledge to alter his Chapter's fate. Whether or not this power was the Emperor or not is unimportant; the important part is that it answered his prayers.

Gradually, their faith was subverted to the 'Emperor's' will, 'His' unknown agenda, by the machinations of the aloof Algamar. Soon the devotion of the entire Chapter was rewarded. When all seemed lost during the Cleansing of Saria III in 946.M40, as tainted Orks blocked several Companies from a massive contingent of Violators and cultists engaged in a ritual to awaken three Slaaneshi Keepers of Secrets, angels with blades of fire soared to battle from nowhere. Both the Orks and the Violators were massacred, and the diabolical intents of Aragala, Sha’inal, and Mirbalseth never saw the light of this plane. This day came to be known as the Ascension in the records of the Chapter, for they thought themselves truly blessed by the Emperor.

However, the Inquisition had been watching the Brotherhood, the Emperor’s Tarot having predicted tumult and betrayal in relation to them. Interrupting the victory celebration after the Ascension, an Inquisitor Imloth called upon the might of the Ordo Hereticus to destroy the Brotherhood.

Imloth had little time to accomplish his task, and thus he planned his attack in two waves: the first wave of swift Sororitas and other Ordo forces, and a second wave of the slightly more ponderous Imperial Guard. For whatever reason, and here many suspect the machinations of Algamar, the Imperial Guard did not move to attack the Chapter. The assault force, therefore, gave their lives but did not accomplish their task, despite decimating the Fifth Company down to its Wrathbringer, or Company Champion, and taking a heavy toll on the three other present Companies. The three surviving companies were able to regroup in orbit above the planet, where the rest of the Chapter had been waiting in reserve.

Inquisitor Imloth fled the battle and attempted to call on the Grey Knights; however, the planet was rife with rebellion and violence that stemmed from the death throes of the Chaotic presence on the planet, hindering his communications. A strike force of Brothers of Wrath, led by the single surviving Wrathbringer of the slaughtered Fifth, dogged his every step and eventually killed him, though the remaining member of his retinue, an Explicator Illyna, was allowed to live. She was later hunted down and executed for instigating a cult of ironically-named ‘Imlothians’ who supported the Chapter.

Imloth’s death, despite the vindication it likely bought the Chapter’s pride, hastened the Imperial response, and the Chapter was immediately declared Excommunicate and Extremis Diabolus. The Grey Knights struck swiftly, and managed to destroy the Chapter’s ancient Battle Barge, the Vitae Vengis. Though many of the Chapter’s recruits that were aboard this vessel perished, the remainder of the Chapter escaped, skillfully evading the warfleets sent to crush them.

After the Ascension, the Chapter’s activities are shrouded in the secrecy that is doubtless essential to their survival. They are hunted by the Inquisition and attacked by any loyal Imperials who know of their Excommunication. It is thought that they are plagued by mutations, particularly feathery wings, glowing eyes, and even haloes of light- mutations that, reminiscent of holy imagery though they are, mark them as worshipers of the Dark Powers in the eyes of the Imperium.

Those who are guilty of fighting alongside them have, under Inquisitorial attentions, described black-armored warriors that fight with unmatched brutality and viciousness. These can only be the Death Company, and it can thus be supposed that the manpower of the Chapter is dwindling if they deploy those blood-crazed lunatics.

The Mordan sector is afire with a tale of Marines bearing the iconography of the Angels Ascendant fighting amongst one another on the shrine world of Nurau IV. Infighting being not uncommon amongst the warriors of the Dark Gods, this is put forth as further evidence of the Chapter’s new allegiance.

But there are yet ways for them to survive in a harsh galaxy. There are thought to be underground Keeps from which they draw recruits. It is known that they changed their colors from blue to white, and adopted a golden wing as their new heraldry; many Inquisitors suspect this was meant as a ruse, or perhaps a show of devotion to their new patrons. Through this guise they are able to fool many Imperials not wise to it. It is believed that many of the more radical elements within the Imperium support them, even Thorians in the Inquisition, and due to their outspoken faith in the Emperor’s godhood (a belief contrary to the tenets of most Chapters), they even seem to have corrupted elements of the Ministorum.

Homeworld

As described above, the Angels Ascendant once were based upon a lush and beautiful shrine-world, Altius III, which was located in a system a short distance from the eastern edge of the Maelstrom. It was a mostly temperate world, with some arctic climes near the poles; a wilderness before the Chapter’s coming, the planet quickly became a glorious synergy of wild beauty and splendor in the Emperor’s name.

After it was razed and its pious inhabitants put to the slaughter, however, the Chapter undertook a massive reorganization, swearing to never again be too slow to respond to any crisis; never again would they be caught off-guard or without the initiative, for now was their time to strike like the sword of the Emperor Himself. They left the ashes and ruin of Altius III with heavy hearts, but renewed fervor.

Calling in favors around the galaxy, they amassed a great fleet, centered around a massive Fortress-Monastery of rock, steel, and ceramite. The former Battle Barge had been fashioned by the will of the Astartes and their numerous serfs into a space-faring fortress, home, and hearth for the Chapter, and a centerpiece for their mighty fleet. In their later days this space-based nature would prove invaluable to escape the attentions of Imperial forces.

However, the Chapter took care to maintain some bases of support around the galaxy; their continued support to these worlds, in the form of Chapter Keeps, supplied a steady flow of recruits and built up a favorable reputation with surrounding systems, allowing them to have stable friends and allies virtually anywhere. These resources would also prove invaluable when the Chapter was cast out of the Imperium.

After the Chapter’s fall from grace, the garrison on the Chapter’s former homeworld was withdrawn, the Imperium seeing no need to protect the former homeworld of a traitor Chapter. The dried husk of ruin and ash, and the dejected society of nomads who had fallen far from their legendary heritage, were abandoned to the attentions of the Maelstrom. The last Imperial presence there noted an approaching band of Orks, and it is likely that the beasts had their warlike way with the planet.

Combat Doctrine

The Angels Ascendant, true to their vow, are never found wanting in speed. Mechanized assaults with support from Assault Marines are commonplace, whereas any sort of static defense is unheard of. They epitomize the attack as the best form of defense. Drop pod, teleport, and Thunderhawk assaults are used in situations where they would normally be deemed foolhardy, if not suicidal. But the ferocious nature of the tenacious Chapter’s warriors has driven them to glory in worse circumstances before, and above all the Marines feel they should strive for glory- in the name of what, it is not known.

Given their hunted nature and often-unsupported operations, each Battle Brother must be ready for anything. They go into battle armed to the teeth with grenades, bolt pistols and rifles, and all manner of hand-to-hand weapons, in addition to enough ammunition to crush a normal man. They believe that each squad should be a self-sufficient, swift hammer-blow, able to coordinate the destruction of their foes without outside support. They also believe that squads should be fluidly organized, and squads are often amalgamated after casualties are assessed to keep them at full strength and efficiency.

Heavy weapons, while more man-portable to Astartes than to Imperial Guard, for instance, are rarely used as the bulk and required ammunition for the weapons will undoubtedly slow the Chapter down, and comparable anti-tank or infantry capability can be found in meltas, flamers, and plasma weaponry. Heavy armor is rarely deployed, even the swift vehicles of the Astartes unable to keep up with the Chapter’s relentless advance; the sole exceptions to this are Dreadnoughts, revered ancients from when the Chapter was young, and Vindicators, which have the close-range, swift firepower required to support a large-scale advance from the Chapter. Perhaps even more rarely fielded are the Chapter’s Land Raiders, for the engagements in which a Lord of the Chapter would risk losing such hallowed and rare vehicles are few and far between indeed.

Scouts are rarely used, as the Chapter’s relatively high mortality rate forces Initiates into power armor so the Chapter’s warrior-kin can be better protected. They must learn even more quickly than the Initiates of other Chapters, and given the active nature of the Chapter that education will take place on the field of battle rather than the training grounds aboard the Chapter’s fleet.

Their operations are fast and merciless, as well as unpredictable. All too often a fleet from the Imperium will arrive to find the enemies they came to fight nothing more than ash and memory. Unfortunately for the Chapter, Inquisitorial agents often arrive soon after, if not soon before, these war fleets, striving ever to find ways to trap the Chapter and destroy them. But the Chapter is wily and cunning, and will not stay in the same area of space for long.

Organization

The Chapter is non-Codex; it is divided into the following: a First Company of Lords, Terminators, veterans, Dreadnoughts and Honor Guard; a Second Rapid Strike Company of bikers, jump troops, and Land Speeders; a Death Company; three Battle Companies; two Reserve Companies; a single, often-under-strength Devastator Company; a Scout Company, though as mentioned above a low-strength unit; an Armory, including all Chapter vehicles excepting Land Speeders, Dreadnoughts, and transports; a Keep organization, one of which directs the activities of each of the surviving, hidden Chapter Keeps.

Due to the tendency for much of the Chapter to be in action at once, the Chapter’s leadership organization is altered somewhat. As the Chapter is so often at war, the Chapter will often be under strength; however, this also allows many more to prove their worthiness for positions of leadership, and the Chapter is happy to have them. These many leaders will head different ‘splinters’ of the Chapter on different missions and crusades.

The Lords of the Chapter make up a large core leadership for the Chapter; this body is formed of several groups of leaders, the most experienced warriors in the Chapter. First among these are the three Chapter Masters and the Grand Master who presides over them. Second are the Supreme Master of Sanctity and his subordinate three Masters of Sanctity. Another group of Librarians, the Grand Librarian and his three deputy Epistolaries, and the Council of the Seven, the Chapter’s Dreadnoughts, also resides here. These warriors will often lead different campaigns and coordinate the Chapter’s often-disparate parts. Included in this hallowed group also are the Sanguinary High Priest, or the Chief Apothecary, the Chapter’s Ancient, and the Harbinger, the Chapter’s Champion of the first Company.

The Chapter’s Serfs, though they serve the Chapter in many menial duties, are respected above all other non-Astartes. The Chapter finds that servitors, while obedient and incorruptible, are no replacement for a skilled and passionate human, and finds the practice of servitor-lobotomy to be a desecration of the human form, used only in the most dire circumstances. Serfs are often skilled craftsmen in addition to loyal servants, and many a Lord’s blade has been fashioned by a servant’s hand. While much of the Serfdom is drawn from humans strong yet obviously not Astartes-grade, those few aspirants that survive and function are often inducted into the Serfdom; many attain leadership positions in that body.

The Chapter’s organization has not changed significantly since their fall save for the addition of a Death Company.

A note on allies: The Chapter, at the height of battle, has been known to be aided by creatures akin to angels of myth; these Angels are both from which they draw their name and the source of their conflict with the Imperium, which views these creatures as abominable daemons in cunning guise.

Beliefs

The Chapter was known to be zealous when their homeworld was still revered and celebrated; after its destruction they became nothing less than fanatical. They revere the Emperor as nothing less than a god, as the Illumine Malathion dictated; strangely, despite their status as renegades, this gives them allies among the Ecclesiarchy, where many Chapters find none at all. Their Emperor is a god of war, a demigod born and a man transcended to deity, the supreme example for all mankind. They subscribe to a supremely Thorian perspective, finding the Imperium in need of change and seeing themselves as vessels of His power and harbingers of His wrath. The mutations and daemons they often receive aid from in battle are sanctified and revered as blessings from the God-Emperor and signs of His favor.

As the Emperor is a god to them, they worship the loyal Primarchs as demigods, but none more fervently than Sanguinius, the Angelic One. The Lords Illumine, particularly heroic brother Marines, and even mortals deemed worthy are prayed to as saints.

They believe that the Emperor will meet them after death in a paradise reminiscent of Altius III, where they will rest until the final battle when the traitors are finally cast down and the Emperor and the Primarchs return to this plane to lay waste to all filth and xenos, establishing forever the divine rule of Mankind over the galaxy. It is purported that they hold these beliefs still, though subverted to the will of whatever power they truly serve.

Many in the Imperium take a dim view of their form of faith; some privileged few who know of such things whisper that it is the Changer of the Ways who, in his eternal machinations, aids the Angels in some diabolical plot; as evidence, they point to the deceptive nature of their mutations and daemonic servants. Others point to darker powers that lead Chaos to fight both the Emperor’s will and Chaos itself. Still others, perhaps more ignorant or superstitious, speak of other malevolent beings and spirits from the legends of their own homeworld. Those who hunt the Angels cannot allow themselves to believe the Chapter to be anything but Chaotic; to even allow the notion that daemons and mutations, no matter how aesthetic, are gifts of the Emperor is to confess to a grave heresy.

Pre-fall and presumably after, the Chapter is known to honor several events above all else: the Feast of the Emperor’s Ascension (once per century), the Chapter’s Founding (every 12 years), the anniversary of the Storm of the Emperor’s Wrath (each year, no formal celebration), Vandire’s death (each year, no formal celebration), the anniversary of the destruction of Altius (every decade), and, sources say, their so-called Ascension (unknown).

They believe psykers with the will needed to control themselves are blessed by the Emperor, but rogue psykers and, ironically, any with unstable mutation is a mark of sin and evil. They tolerate abhumans, if only just. Before their fall, the Chapter’s warriors did not tolerate traitors, rebels, heretics, or deviants of any kind. Xenos and servants of the Warp were equally despised.

Geneseed

The geneseed of the Angels Ascendant is that of the Primarch Sanguinius, as traced back to the Angels Encarmine of the Second Founding. Their ferocity in battle, perfectly formed features, and devotion to arts all speak of this, as does the presence of the Black Rage and their longevity (though some suspect darker powers in this).

Though little is known of their geneseed’s behavior after their condemnation by the Imperium, it would seem from the increasing mutations seen in recruits and older members, combined with the recurring Black Rage, that the geneseed they possess is degrading- or, as a few who have witnessed an Angel Ascendant soaring on silver wings might be tempted to say, evolving. If these poor souls give in to that temptation, however, their masters will be quick to castigate them, for the Imperium does not forgive.

It is unknown to agents of the Imperium if these mutations are causing consternation or fear among the Chapter’s members, but given their propensity to revere their mutations as gifts, it is likely that they are not concerned.

Battle cry

“For Altius!” is a common rallying cry. Often a Marine of any given Company will use his Company’s motto in battle as well, i.e. a member of the 2nd Company would cry “Semper Exelsius” when charging the enemy. Marines are also encouraged to demoralize the enemy with any words they have at hand, be it condemnation, scripture, or even the simple roar of a furious Space Marine- that is nothing normal men can stand in itself.

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The Age of Apostasy (287.M36)

When High Lord Goge Vandire siezed both the position of High Lord of the Administratum and Ecclesiarch, he began what came to be known as the Reign of Blood, where the Imperium was wracked by the throes of his paranoia and insanity.

It is widely known that the Brotherhood was one of the first Chapters to rally behind Sebastian Thor, the visionary preacher who rose from Dimmamar and marched on Terra with fire and steel. The young Chapter acquitted itself bravely, its cadre of officers from the Angels Encarmine leading cleansing actions against planets corrupted by Vandire's madness; their efforts were focused mainly in the western edge of the Maelstrom, where the chaos was most pronounced. These events gave the Chapter great favor amongst the soon-to-emerge Thorian faction of the Inquisition and their predecessors. Thor is a respected figure amongst the Chapter brethren, nearly as honored as the Lords Illumine, and the anniversaries of both the Storm of the Emperor's Wrath and Vandire's death are Chapter Holy Days.

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The Badab War (901.M41)

It is rumored that ships bearing the iconography of the Angels Ascendant were reported in the systems surrounding the Badab conflict. However, when Huron's forces showed signs of overreacting to Imperial presence and possible corruption rather than simply upholding the sovereignty of the Astartes, the Angels disappeared from the system; to where, none can say. Some call them cowards for this, unwilling to take a stand in the conflict for either side; others suspect they withdrew for pragmatic or idealistic reasons when Huron overstepped his bounds.

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The Thirteenth Black Crusade and the Voice of the Emperor (999.M41)

Some say that the Angels Ascendant aided the mysterious entity known as the Voice of the Emperor, whose activities eventually roused Imperial faith in some sectors; their motives for this activity are unknown. The distraction of Abbaddon's approaching forces gave the Angels' forces cover throughout the Crusade, however, and for whatever reason they aided the Imperial forces against Chaotic enemies. Though their renegade status prevented them from participating in major battles, some smaller skirmishes would have surely been lost had it not been for the intervention of the Angels, and they undoubtedly helped to blunt the force of the Despoiler's attack.

For whatever reason, after the acts of the Voice of the Emperor and the ensuing effects, the Dark Angels reportedly withdrew forces from several battles and headed to space where the Angels were rumored to have been seen. These actions left some Imperial forces without support, and some commanders undoubtedly cursed the Dark Angels' capricious ways with their last breaths.

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Edited according to advice below.

The_Giant_Mantis · May 4th, 2008, 17:05

Really interesting fluff..

In a sentence, though, 'too much exoticism'.. You've got angels, chaos orks, malal, the revivicators, whole new inquisitorial factions, blood angels without the black rage (at least for a while,) not to mention roles in major events like the badab war as throwaway references. There's just too many coincidental, odd, unusual or uneccesarily epic things in one piece, and a lot of it doesn't really seem to have much point.

The revivicators in particular are just a bit of a head scratcher.. Firstly, they're an extreme radical group. Even most Thorians would have a deep, deep problem with their philosophy, and may well seek to kill them if they revealed themselves. Thus, they're secretive.. There's a reason not every Inquisitor lives to 800, and that's because the revivicators don't tell them how. Finally, given than marines do live that long anyway, what's to say the revivcators techniques (whatever they are.. I'd imagine they're quite extreme anyway and involve massive ammounts of bionic surgery and bodily alteration) will even work on marines? Does it really serve the narrative to even have them there?

I think, in general, you've treated Inquisitorial factions too much like coherent groups.. The Thorians don't sit around at the same table scheming to foil the schemes of the Monodominants at the other table.. All these people are individuals, they'll have their own take on Thorian philosophy and there is nothing which says they have to listen to or respect one another. Inquisitors band together in friendship groups for survival, they don't have huge factional meetings (not very often anyway) to decide their policy on various things.

I'm not a fan of some of the overly-epic imagery either but I'll agree marine fluff is prone to such things and takes well to it, so I'm not going to bash your personal style. In general, though, you could serve this a lot by decomplexifying it and removing some of the elements which are redundant or don't make too much sense.

I do think it's good stuff though, and the thought you've put into it really comes across.. While I'm not a big fan of the 'imperials with angels as chaos' cliche, you've actually made it palatable.

Imperialis_Dominatus · May 4th, 2008, 22:40

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