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Don't know if this is in the right spot so mods feel free to move it if need be. I've never tried to write any kind of fluff before but I converted a wraithlord model and it came off like he was really ticked off and so I came up with this to kind of explain it a little. Feel free to rip this up because any C&C would come in handy if I ever take this further.
Ghost of Altansar, never much cared for that name, although now it seemed very appropriate. I have become what the Mon-Keigh describe as a ghost, what their tiny minds cannot ever comprehend. Driven mad by the millennia long struggle against the great enemy, I fight on in this wraithbone construct. It was not always this way though. I was once a great Exarch of the Dark Reapers of Altansar, second only to the Harvester of Souls himself. I fought along side him in the battles of the 13th Black Crusade after he freed our world from the torment of the Eye of Terror, it was also during this time that I fell slain, my spirit stone recovered by the great Phoenix Lord and given to the spirit seer’s to be reborn as a Wraith Lord. Only after the first three or four were burnt out trying to pin down my mind did they finally realize the frenzy and thirst for battle that still lay in me for the forces of the great enemy. Now only when the need is great do they summon me from the infinity circuit and only with the strongest Warlock do they attempt it, for it takes a strong Spirit seer to uncloud my vision and show me the way to battle.
Thanks in advance,
Nothing wrong with that at all! I think it gives a nice bit of character to what could otherwise be a beige dreadnought! Keep at it man!
One thing I might suggest - maybe write it in the 3rd person? Or possibly from the point of view of the seer who has to awaken him?
Either way - nice job!
The Exarchs are not turned into Wraithlords... an Exarch is a Wraithlord after a fashion, considering that his armour contains the spirit-stones of all who wore it before him. But I figure there might be a way of getting around that.
Perhaps the Exarch's armour has been nearly destroyed when he was killed, leaving only a few pieces and a single surviving spirit stone?
That aside, the fluff piece is pretty neat.
I think TheChaplain is right, as in: it would work much better in 3rd person.