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A little one shot fluff bit, featuring my Warboss, relating a rather amusing tale involving the Dark Angles. sorry if it's a little long. Now take it away, boyz
“All right boyz! Listen up!”
The boyz were all gathered around the camp fire. The trukks were parked, the meks had put away their tools and were joining in the festivities, and even the gretchin were poking their heads out. Boyz were busy drinking and bragging about their exploits in the previous afternoon’s battle, and trading loot. This kind of unity was rare amongst most warbands, but it wasn’t unheard of, especially after a good day’s scrap. The boyz had been victorious that afternoon against a rather unfortunate Dark Angles patrol. The Chapter’s paraphernalia was scattered all across the camp. Helmets, bolters, bits of pieces of armor, even the hull of a Rhino (with heavy rokkit damage.)
“I said listen!” the voice shouted again. The boyz immediately began to quiet down, they knew better than to keep their warboss waiting. When the camp grew silent, the boss, Big Nooreg da Tyrant, began to speak.
“Now, we all had a good scrap against dem marine boyz didn’t we ladz?”
Shouts of “waaagh!” and other orkish phrases answered back.
“Dem Dark Angle boyz fight real good don’t dey?”
More orkish phrases of approval answered back.
“I’m gonna tell you lots a story, ‘bout the biggest scrap I ever fought. And it was against dem Dark Angle boyz.”
Now the boyz were silent, eager for their boss’s war story. Noogreg was a good orator (by orkish standards anway) and the boyz always enjoyed his stories. It was Nooreg’s clever way of uniting his tribe. From the lowliest gretchin’ to the most crazed painboss, Nooreg’s tales were one of the few things besides a good scrap or trukk race that kept his boyz together; and from not fighting eachother.
“It happened a long time ago, Da Big Angel Scrap. I was just a little yoof den, one uv da boyz, wif a nob an everfing. I was in Chargog da Killa’s warband, da biggest, badest warband sis side uv da Big Terrible Eye. We was on sum planet, I can’t remember da name… And we was doing what we always did, killin’ and lootin’ the humies an such, when da strangest fing ‘append. Our weird boy, Krazy Froghead was doing ‘is wierdboy magik when dis big tunnel fing opened up- watch you call em? Warp ‘ole! Yeah a warp ‘ole. It opened up and we was all gettin’ ready ta fight da demons and da beasties like da uvver times he did that, but instead dis humie comes out! It was one of dem marine boyz. His armor was real old lookin’ and he was plum out of ‘his mind.”
“He was crazier den a snotling ina painboss’s lab cage. An he fought real good too. ‘E butchered a lot of the ladz, it was great. Finally Boss Chargog knocked ‘im flat wif his power klaw, he was still alive, but he was hurt real bad. I wanted ta kill him strait off, but ‘ol Chargog said we shouldn’t, we should use him fer a hostage. Dem Blood Axes is real weird like dat… So we put im ina big cage dat the da meks built, it was covered ina kustom force field, only it was so he couldn’t get out. It was right clever.”
“So a few dayz later, ol’ Chargog goes ona humie vox casta and sayz we gotta marine boy ‘ostage and if you boyz want him yood better give us lots a shootas ‘an plenty of tanks. Chargog reckoned he was one of dem Dark Angles boyz, cuz of his symbol bit on his armor. But we couldn’t be sure, cuz he wouldn’t tell us what chapta he was wif.”
“Da marine boy was crazy! He kept blatherin’ ‘bout some humie named Lufer and dis place called Calhan an sum beastie called a lion. Wouln’t answer nofin’. Even after Chargog slapped him aroun’ a few times. Da stupid humie kept blathering on. So Chargog decided to let him speak inta da humie vox casta. ‘E figured da humie marine boyz would make sense of it. Maybe dem Dark Angles would come to get their boy back.”
“Well dat was da best move ever! A few days later, da entire chapta came around fer da biggest scrap ever. Dey had da bika boyz- da Reven boyz, and da big white ‘uns. It wasn’t like da little patrol we kilt today. Dey had tanks an skwads an all sorts of great stuff. It was the biggest scrap you ever saw. We as fightin’ fer days. A lot of da boyz were kilt, but it was the biggest fun you ever saw. Fink about da time we got into dat space hulk and had ta fight dem chaos ladz and those genesneakers….”
“What’s dat? Oh yeah, it was a good scrap. I got sum of me favorite scars in dat scrap. A bolta took a chunk outa my arm, and I lost my eye ina fight wif dis marine boy, but I took ‘his head off wif my choppa. Payback’s a squig… But dem Dark Angle ladz fought real good, and dis big fella in black armor- one of dem chappies, he kilt our warboss. Took his head off wif his magik choppa. But ‘ol Chargog died a propa ork. He kilt lots of dem marine boyz and he went down laughin’… So finally da Dark Angles got to da hostage. And dis is where it gets interesting.”
“After da Boss got himself perished, a lot of da boyz decided to be a lot of grots an run away, but not me! I got me sum of the ladz an we decided to go and attack da marines who were freeing the ‘ostage. We krept around back, and saw it. Der were lots of dem white ones, and a lot of da chappies. They broke da cage, an’ –dis is great!- da stupid gits kill ‘im!! Da big chappie lad reads sum magik words outa his book and den dey krump him! Whata lot of nonsense if yooz asks me. I figured at da time dey were finkin’ ‘if we’z can’t have ‘im, no one can.’ What a lot of nonsense if yooz asks me. Dey fight through a horde of us orks, loose a ton of der boyz in da process, just ta kill annuver one of der boyz? No one ever said humies was smart… Dat Dark Angle lad we captured must ‘ave annoyed ‘is boss right propa, to git ‘is entire warband to get ‘im perished. Afta they kilt der boy, the Dark Angles ran off like a bunch of gits. We never got ta finish da scrap.”
“So in da end, da warband was in bad shape. More den half da ladz got perished, and da boss wif him. But, I tell ya, dat was the best scrap I ever fought! If I would ‘ave been boss den, I would ‘ave won! An’ you fink dose Dark Angel Boyz fight ‘ard now! Somefin’ about having one of der boyz made em fight lots harder I reckon. It was like they were obsessed wif somefing. One marine boy fought like three marine boyz. Kinda like dem grey ones, wif da spears.”
“So dats it. The Tale of the Big Angel Scrap. After da fight, I set out on my own wif a buncha ladz and we became freebooters, and da rest iz history. And let me tell you one fing. I’m gonna find me another one of dem Dark Angle ladz wif da strange armor. And then we’ll ‘ave us annuver Big Scrap, an dis time, we’re gonna krump da lot of em… So keep ur ears open about marine boyz talking about someone named Lufer or a lion beastie. It might lead us to another Big Angel Scrap…”
well. i read through it. It's not too bad. i guess most of the gramma mistakes where covered up in the Orkish tounge. one thing i must ask; would the DA really send out their whole chapter to 'kilt' one fallen angel?
other than that, twas an interesting read, and the language techniques portrayed engaged me, making me even laugh on the inside.
one thing i must also say, is make sure you read back through it when you're done, just to make sure it all makes sence to you. but yes, congratualtions, it's almost something you'd read straight out of the Ork codex.
yeah sorry about the spelling and grammer mistakes. the whole document was absolutley covered in red spell check lines, it was difficult to determine which were mine and which were the orks. Maybe i got too into character... I don't think they DA sent the whole chapter, its just that I was writing from the warboss's perspective, and too him it proabably seemed like it.
fair enough. was a good read, you should be proud.
I'll have to second that! A good read, I didn't bother to look for spelling or grammar errors; it's not worth it with an Ork.
I thought you captured the Orky feel rather well.
Good stuff! I really enjoyed it (as I do all stories from an Ork's perspective--they're just so funny! ). That twist with the hostage being a Fallen was absolutely perfect. Don't worry about your grammar too much; most of it's just the Orky language, and that's perfectly excusable. Watch the non-Ork narration, though...
The Emperor set a fire in their hearts that they might burn the iniquitous and the impure from his sight. And the light of that flame shall be as a beacon to the faithful, a light that shines in the darkest places.