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My army fluff, though it is still a WIP, please comment
Codex: The Orchestra of Insanity
This feared army is the scum of the inquisitors, and for this reason there name is scratched from every tome, and any civilian that lives after seeing them is killed without mercy by the inquisition. Why you may ask would the inquisition kill even the ones they have sworn to protect you may say, well the army is composed by there very brethren, in the orchestras ranks are many a daemon hunter and witch hunter, who have been tainted by there almighty leader the Conductor. It is for this reason that rumour of there existence must never reach civilian ears, for it could bring shame on the insiquition, and so we try to wipe this army out, though many a time we have failed.
The reason why many a witch hunter and daemon hunter have been tainted is because that the Conductor himself was once the great Grey Knight terminator Sefvig Alutez, or so many a rumours does say. Why was a Grey Knight turned from the almighty light of the Emperor you may wonder?
Well as the story goes, during the childhood of this lad, his parents raised him in the teachings of the Emperor. His father was a priest of the Emperor, and his mother was a great Sister of Battle. At a young age he displayed great musical talent, and became a great song master, singing heavenly prayers to his almighty patron.
Though his voice was amazing, he was trained by his mother in the fighting arts, and taught the loyal writtings by his father, as you can guess his face was filled with great joy, as his childhood dream came true, when he was welcomed into the ranks of the Grey Knights. An honour respected by the most loyal of the emporers follwers. He rose through the ranks, and became a terminator, and he made friends with me, a fellow Grey Knight Terminator, and his life was going well.
Though he was a great warrior his training into the grey knights never compleatly took hold, a glitch one could say, fragments of memories, combined with the strict training, making him unstable from the start, of course this was so hidden, that people did not notice it, or maybe they did not want to, as who wants to admit there program failed, a failure which could cost them there own life.
Anyway it is not know when slaanesh took hold of him, his personality altered and turned in such a way, the thoughts he may of been thinking send shivers down my spine, though again this went unoticed, quite an irony it is.
Though his memories where basically wiped out, those minute fragments where the very key to his damnation, when he saw the smoldering ruins of his parents house during a routine watch, images flicked in his mind. Images of happiness and sadness, I guess when he saw the smoldering ruined bodies of his former parents it struck him hard the most, those flickers bursted in a tsunami of memories, he had a brakedown, a thing not uncommon in marines, there is always times when the training can destroy a mind.
Since he ahd reovered his memories, he could not believe the verdict of Heretic placed on his parents graves, though his training commanded him to stay loyal, that glitch within him, caused him to get dillusional and go to the borders of sanity.
In most cases this failure would be killed, though his supiours knew that he was a usefull warrior, and of grand lineage, a thing which is uncommon, though he had to be retrained, it was the only way he could be salvaged, all memories, no matter how obscure, up to this very moment where wiped from his memory. In a attempt to salvage this once proud warrior.
I guess though this did not impress the witchhunters that believd the knights efforts where useless and he had to be exterminated. Of course the knights hate there loyality questioned by the witchhunters. Of course they had no choice to let the wtichhunters perform there grusome tests apon sefvig.
It was admited that the salvaging had worked, of course the testing had left such a scar, more memories had to be erased, i guess so much memories destroyed can play havoc on his brain, and I guess in time it did.
Of course to everyone his loyality was unmesured, the product of how great the emporer is, and how grand his servants powers are. Though I guess I should have talked to the inquisition to get him and his parents justice, by asking the inquisitors to wipe away the stained and smelling word heretic from his parents death certificates, though I did not want my hopes for promotion scolded.
The madness and flickers of his mind did not reserface till the battle against the emporers children, a battle that haunts me to this day, the day he betrayed us. That day is a day I will never forget, I guess frantic behaviour and vibrant tunes, struck a chord with Sefvigâ€™s musical past, and the mad cries of these heretics, maybe shared traits with Sefvigâ€™s own growing madness.
After the battle we returned to our ship, and went to a distant area to rest. As we slept, the red alert sounded, as our ship was bombed by the foul army of the chaos god slaanesh.
I did not realise it then, but I do now, we where sold out by Sefvig, me and a few others where the only ones to escape our burning vessel. We noticed an escape pod was missing and that Sefvig had gone to the enemy.
I may be to blame for the monster he has become, and now as a grandmaster of the holy Grey Knights I swear by the Emperor I will bring this heretic down, with the righteous fires of retribution, and may his soul be purified, and may my own stained conscience be cleaned.
The Conductor (Sefvig Alutez)
The Conductor is the leader of the orchestra of insanity. One of the most loyal armies to Slaanesh. As a daemon prince he is considered considerly young. Not even close to 200 years. Formally he was a member of the Emperors Children, though he thought from an early stage that the emperors children, where not loyal enough to our mighty lord Slaanesh, and that there orgasmic wailings where not great enough prayers to such an almighty deity.
So against his peers, he made his own army, though at first it was merely a unit, which he named the Corrupters, a blasphemous band, which caused riots throughout the eye of terror, willing to here the grand voice of this young artist (shame CD making was lost in the dark age of technology).
His army began to grow, as many fans to his band wished to help him on his quest, willing to help spread the songs of Slaanesh, and on one grand day Sefvigâ€™s life ended, as it seems he caught the eye of his master. Slaanesh blessed him with daemonship, and the Conductor was born, a daemon prince filled with an eerie beauty, a beauty which makes our worlds models look the contents of a septic tank.
Some say that the Conductor also became what some call a hermaphrodite, though his face is usually hidden by his mask.
His hair is long and pink, and trails done his back, he also was given huge bird like wings, beautiful and an image of Slaanesh in its own right.
His voice to was changed by his mutation, and became an even more disturbing and twisted voice, they say his voice can enchant the most strict sister of battle, but they also say his death roar can make the skulls of his victims cave in, as his voice melts your brain into a scrambled mess.
His mind is unchanged from his human days, just as insane as always, maybe even more so, maybe this is one of the reasons why his army was dubbed the orchestra of insanity.
The conducting stick - This is the Conductors most prized weapon, a huge scythe like cleaver which he wields into battle and to lead his army to fulfil terrible acts of chaos.
Its history is unknown, though from scraps of diaries and tomes, we have pieced together a rough history. It is said that the blade was made during the days of his service with the grey knights, and was made with the armours and weapons of the ones he slayed, his fellow knights, looked at this as a sign of devotion to there cause, well thatâ€™s what they thought. The weapon at first was merely a meat cleaver at first, though it changed greatly when he went to the open arms of slaanesh, they say that as Sefvig walked to the throne of slaanesh, and slannesh blessed it with his/her almighty power, and the metal was soaked in the sweet smelling elixirs that flowed around slanneshâ€™s throne. The large stick which gives it the scythe like appearance is said to be carved from one of the stems of the many blossoming trees that grow around slanneshs throne and throughout his/her realm. The conducting stick was born, and so Sefvig was changed into the conductor, and as he altered, so did his weapon went through its final transformation became the twisted weapon we see today. The conducting stick is not just a daemon weapon, it is him, and like an arm it exists as a part of his body. They say whoever slays the Conductor, and has the power to stop him being reborn by grasping his blade before it fades back to the Orchastreum home world, would posses the Conductors power, and have the Conductor trapped within his own blade, for the warrior to control, though whether the warrior is able to stop the Conductor consuming there soul is another matter.
any comments? :huh:
Well, I certainly appreciate that you have put so much effort into developing your army's background (I think this is something of a lost art, at least among the people I play with, who often don't even bother to name their generals). However, I have to say that it does go against a lot of the official fluff, with regards to the following points:
1. In the entire history of the Grey Knights Chapter, not ONE battle brother has ever succumbed to the taint of Chaos. This is not simply the official Imperial line, as the public at large isn't told anything at all about the GKs or Chaos; it is the truth.
If you want your general to have fallen from an especially loyal or fanatical Chapter, I suggest the Black Templars. They are nearly as fervent in their devotion to the Emperor as the GKs, but aren't as impervious to corruption.
2. GK initiates are all chosen from feral worlds, where the harsh way of life of the natives tends to breed especially ferocious warriors.
3. Sisters of Battle swear vows of chastity, so they wouldn't be having children. If one slipped up and got pregnant, her child would probably either be killed (as it was produced from a blasphemous and heretical relationship) or would be considered an orphan and sent to the Schola Progenium. The Sister herself would become a Sister Repentia and probably die in battle shortly afterward.
I'm not sure about Priests, but I believe, as the Church of the Savior Emperor is modelled after the Catholic Church, they would also be sworn to chastity.
I don't mean to tear apart your fluff that you've worked long and hard on, it just needs a few small adjustments. As I said, change all instances of "Grey Knights" to "Black Templars", or another Chapter if you prefer. As for your general's parents, I would say that they were particularly pious citizens of the Imperium, maybe from a medieval world to justify battle training before being inducted into the Adeptus Astartes.
Okay what if I say, he was born a holy way (e.g. test tube baby) made for battle and being a grey knight.
Also he was reported to have been killed, and was witnessed dying and having his eyes ripped out.
His ex freind is considured mental by his peers, for thinkng sefvig is alive, and the conducor, his views are considured heretical.
when sefvig died, his soul no longer was bound by his training (his brain contains that not his soul, as when you die memories of the previous life are forgotten), he drifted into slaanesh's realm, and was made a new. Slaanesh told him, that his soul was made millenia ago, when slaanesh spoke his first words.
Sefvig now reborn as a daemonette type being, goes back and pocesses a nearby EC, reorn and renewed, he goes to his ex body, and tears all stuff from it which he considures usefull, he takes the bionic implants and armor, and then takes his old head and impales it on his new blastmaster.
because of the transition he pocesses ywo geneseeds, one of fulgrim, and one of the emporer, because of his inhabitation of two bodies.
Okay I have worked around the grey knight thing, is it okay now?