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My First Fluff: Eldar

4K views 10 replies 8 participants last post by  travasty420 
#1 · (Edited)
This is my first attempt at writing fluff... I hope you guys enjoy it :) C&C are welcome.
Sorry if it's a bit long:

The Autarch strode through the Shrine of Asurmen with a grace beyond even that of his fellow Eldar. He often visited the shrines when he needed to contemplate things of great importance. Today he though only of those he had lost in his last battle, remembered their faces, their smiles, their laughs. So many had died while he commanded his small group of outcasts, each one a dear friend or loved one. He glanced at his sword, casually hanging in its sheath. How easily he forgets its presence. He does not feel the weight of it pressing his leg any more, as if it were a part of him. How many centuries had it hung there…?


Dekendo leaned against a wall and just watched his warriors in their exercises. Talith, one of the newest avengers, worried about his Autarch. He had only recently been welcomed into the community and knew very little of why Dekendo paced solemnly at all hours. Feeling a need to know, Talith dared to approach one of the Exarchs of his shrine. “Yarsal,” he spoke only in hushed tones, “Why does he come so often merely to watch? I do not understand.”


Yarsal knew of whom the young warrior spoke without asking, for he had answered the question a thousand times before. He waited a moment, remembering his Autarch back when he had first joined. He gave out a small chuckle as he thought how little the commander had changed from that day. The Exarch contemplated where he should start the story. “Our Autarch,” Yarsal finally started, “was once a Dire Avenger of Biel-tan. Even back then, he moved with the ethereal grace he still possesses.”


Talith was confused at the Exarch’s answer but decided to listen to what he had to say. He did, after all, want to know of his commander.


“He was good, very good, and all who fought beside him knew of his skill. He had fought in scores of battles, each time emerging victorious yet never taking the role of an Exarch. He eventually found a match to his own skill. Her name was Lati-el. Her beauty was matched only by her potency as a warrior. They complimented each other beautifully, on the field of battle, and off. The commander felt most at home by her side. She was the most playful when he was near her, as well. They were perfect.” The Exarch stopped, pained to tell the young warrior the next part of the commander’s life.


Talith, now completely captured in the story, urged him to continue. Yarsal knew that he had to tell all the details of this to make the young warrior completely understand. “They were sent into battle and he was sent out in front of the rest of the avengers. This was not uncommon, but Lati-el had stayed behind as well. His mind was more on this fact than the battle itself, and for the first time in a long time, he missed the presence approaching from behind. He noticed the massive carnifex all too late and spun to see the titanic creature tear through Lati-el’s squad. The terror that overwhelmed him forced him to break from his squad and rush to her aid before nothing could be done. He arrived to find that she was the only of her squad left standing, darting and diving masterfully as if she had rehearsed the dance to perfection. The beast, through all its stupidity, must have seen a pattern. It spun quickly and its massive tail crushed her small figure completely.”


Yarsal paused briefly, “Enraged, Dekendo rushed at the beast, not caring for his own life, thinking only of saving his lover. He unloaded his shurikens into the beast’s backside and climbed to the beast’s head all in the blink of an eye. He scratched and tore its face ripping an eye from its socket. The beast roared in pain. He slapped a fresh clip into the catapult while the beast tried desperately to tear him off its back. He forced the muzzle into the empty socket and let the blades do the rest. Even after the beast fell to the ground he did not relent. As the now empty clip fell to the ground he turned back to find the fallen Lati-el. He lifted her frail and broken body to him and held her there until the spirit stone on her breast plate began to glow. He carried her body back even as the battle still raged.”


Talith’s expression had changed to one of complete awe at the story he was hearing. “She was the reason I was almost lost on the path of the avenger,” Talith heard a voice behind him say. He turned slowly a bit scared that his Autarch would be displeased with him. “Thank you Yarsal. You may return to your duties.”


The Exarch only bowed and left the two alone. “Shall I finish it myself, Talith?” Dekendo made a note of knowing all under his care. “Yarsal has been by my side for a long time and knows my past well. He does a good enough job of telling it.”


“Please Autarch, continue, I do wish to hear more.” Talith eagerly wanted to know his commander.


“Let us walk,” Dekendo said as he turned and continued his common path through the halls of the shrine. “After that battle her soul stone was put into a diresword for me. The sword itself glinted with a hint of her beauty.” He again looked down at the sword dangling from his belt. Talith’s eyes followed and he wondered if this was that same sword.


"I continued for many years and fought many battles. She protected me every time. I lusted for battle just to spend more time with my Lati-el. I became reckless and a danger to those with me. All I wanted was to watch her dance for me.” The Autarch stopped abruptly and turned toward the shrine’s exit. He continued slowly, forcing each word out as if it were painful, “In just another battle, I was pitted against a hoard of daemons. I loved the way Lati-el danced in a deadly arc, cutting down many of the wretched creatures with every swing. As I reached the top of a hill, a beast, larger, and more powerful than all the rest, rushed at me. The force of that monster baring down on me…” his voice trailed off and it took him a moment to start. “Lati-el gave me one final gift, she stabbed deep into the beast and released all the power left in her. The beast howled and fell dead on top of me. I couldn’t move, couldn’t even lift my arms. All I could do was lay there and wait for the battle to end.”


“Autarch…” Talith whispered, feeling Dekendo’s pain pour out in every word.


“Hmmm,” Dekendo turned back to the young warrior who had know a very few battles in his time. Feeling that he should continue the story, Dekendo started again, “The sword no longer had the same radiance. The edge remained sharp but her spirit had been damaged in the attack. I left the avenger path that day but still felt a pull to the battlefield. I spent a time in many of the aspects my craftworld had to offer. None of them held my passion like that of the Avenger.


“I left Biel-tan to find peace in the solace of wandering. For a time, I lost myself among the stars. I began to feel a need for purpose, and the sword I had kept with me, wanted once more to see the battlefield. I knew my time in Biel-tan was long over and I could no longer return. The path of the Autarch was where my heart truly lied. I began to collect the lost and wandering, those like myself and give them a kind of purpose like I had found. I taught them the skills I had learned, taught them in the ways of the avenger. Eventually I collected masters of many aspects,” he motioned out to the other shrines littered across the gigantic ship. “All this started with but a handful of wandering warriors, each with his or her own story, much akin to my own.”


Talith thought back to his own reasons for being here and he thought them very petty. He was ashamed, “I…” he started but was cut off.


“No matter the reason, many came to be here and I took them in willingly. I have had to learn much through pain and trial. I just want to save as many of our kin from this fate as possible. I visit your shrine, and many of the others, and remember my time back then, with her.” Dekendo continued walking in silence and left Talith to contemplate all that he had learned that day. Talith turned back to his shrine, his head swimming with new thoughts.
 
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#6 ·
Perhaps I'll write the events in more detail, get more into his skills as a warrior and more on the relationship. Let me know what you guys think and I'll see about continuing this soon.
 
#7 ·
It was very good, well done. Fluff wise one thing I noticed is that once an eldar becomes and exarch there is no going back. They become lost to that path forever and in some cases their souls even become entraped in the exarch armor. Just a little note, you might want to say your Autarch just went very far down the avenger path but not all the way to obsession like an exarch. Exarch dont really choose to be exarchs so much as there shrine and there destiny chooses them, it just happens, they become stuck on there path.

Just some advice, but still very good.
 
#8 · (Edited)
Yes, I was a bit iffy about that. I figured it wouldn't fly with the hard core fluff masters but to me it seemed like becoming an Exarch is just a psycological affliction. Alien as they may be, Eldar still have a mind that can make decisions on complex levels and in their case much more so. I decided to make his personal "obsession" not toward avengers exactly but toward his relationship. His woman being stuck in a bubble in his sword and all, just forced his mind down that path to be able to be with her. Seeing her spirit damaged in one of his fights kinda "woke him up" in a way, much like an addict realizing how he has hurt the ones he loves, but on a different scale. Truly he never fully got over his obsession and this is evident in my model conversion for him and the garb and colors of his forces. I know it's kinda odd but it just felt right to me. I didn't go into much detail as I wanted to keep the story short so I may have breezed over that too quickly. Thanks for the input and if you want to comment again and tell me I'm full of it, then feel free :)

Edit: Upon further thought, I like the flow of the story much more without him becoming an Exarch and have made appropriate changes. Thank you much for your input.
 
#10 · (Edited)
Really great stuff..

On a side-note though, it's hard to see an Exarch being 'playful' or falling in love or anything. They're just not built that way.

Firstly, they're a product of the extremely wierd nature of the Eldar psyche. Eldar are naturally utterly obsessive creatures, and Exarches are self-conditioned to the point where they're totally obsessed with war. They literally cannot function in any other role, their minds are too fine-tuned for that.

Secondly, once an Exarch puts on their armour, they sort of cease to be a single person. They become a kind of gestalt formed of the souls of all the Eldar who wore that armour before them. They drop their original name and take on the name of those who wore the armour before them.

Obsession is a terrible, terrible fate for an Eldar.. Eldar can physically die or become permanently damaged just because someone close to them dies. Obsession can cause them to lose most of their original personality or become utterly unable to function as social beings. I really can't see this guy coming out of such an event as stable as he is..
 
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