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Alright I posted this in the WH forum but wasn't getting the crisism I think I need to iron out this force this is my own order as I have been working on its fluff. I had to rush this and it isn't very well proof read yet but I am anxious to get more feedback so here goes. I will edit as needed to make it meet canon. Tell me what ya think. Be honest and brutal if you have to. I honestly care more about making this as real to the universe as possible. Heck you can even be knit picky on things like gay names of characters/places hopefully you can offer better suggestions in these instances.
Ecclesiarchal Registratum - The Order of His Sacred Light
Name: The Order of His Sacred Light
Inspiration: Sacrifice and Cleansing through Flames
Home world: "The Sacred Duty Missionary Fleet" Missionary Fleet 651
Heraldry/Colours: White Armor, Red Robes, Gold/Silver/Brass Accuterments
Name: The Sacred Duty Missionary Fleet
Fleet Size: 15 Ministorum Cathedral Ships, 30+ support ships, 200+ Pilgrim ships, 2 Adeptus Mechanicus Techships. There is also a contingent of Imperial Navy escorts that vary in size and composition at any given time depending on where the fleet is located. The venerable battleship Ferrus' Fist has guarded the fleet for nearly 4 millenia since just after the age of apostasy and always coordinates any imperial naval vessels with the fleet.
Notes on Fleet 651: The Missionary fleet's sacred duty is to spread word of the Emperor throughout the Segmentum Obscurus and the Northwestern galactic fringe. What started out as a handful of vessels operating among the fringes has through millenia and faith become a great fleet of civilian vessels that re-take lost worlds not by war but by a storm of faith and by shear numbers. Since its founding on Emperor's Day 1000471M32 the fleet has brought over two-thousand lost worlds into the darkness of the universe into the light of the Emperor.
The fleet has active periods of 100 standard terran years followed by an upkeep period of twenty years. During its active periods the fleet visits recently identified worlds from explorator fleets and rogue traders. The politics of the fleet often involve negotiation of some form of rights to the finding party. Often in the form of claim to some resource or location on the world once it comes into the imperial fold.
When active the fleet spends months or years over a world. Missionary priests are sent to the planet from the fleet. If the population is open to the word of the emperor then large numbers of other priests and pilgrims will land on the world and will help build cathedrals or spread word to the population. Often the number of pilgrims left on the world may outnumber the original planetary population only further ensuring the world becoming a loyal imperial planet. Once the world is claimed to the imperium the fleet moves on to the next repeating the process until it returns coreward to resupply and refit before travelling out into the stars again.
In cases where the population is not open to the missionaries the Adepta Sororitas of His Sacred Light are sent to make them aware of their mistake in defying the savior of mankind's loyal servants. Also the Sororitas are responsible with policing the ships of taint and protecting its vessels from pirates and rebels. The sight of the Sisters is common among the cathedral ships in the fleet. Though battle sisters are rarely seen on the pilgrim ships the non-militant orders are commonly seen throughout the entire fleet.
The fleet has the support of the Adeptus Mechanicus and profits from this relationship in regards to upkeep of ministorum ships. Such is the ties between the two that the titan legions have even helped them in their path on several occassion (Though often this was in conjunction on world believed to have STC artefacts).
It is also common for a blackship to follow the fleet and identify and claim any psykers from a transitionary world.
The Order of His Sacred Light
The Order of His sacred light numbers about 1500 sisters in total. They are based out of the ecclessiarcy vessel Emperor's Radiance which is crewed almost entirely by the Adepta Sororitas. The vessel is a mobile shrine to the emperor of mankind and a training complex for many young women within the fleet.
The order is built around fast mobile assaults and has a very large number of its senior members trained as seraphim who specialise in ship boarding. On the ground the force out manuevers a foe with its mobility. With every squad being given transport and supported by tanks. The sisters strike quickly with cleansing fire at the weakest point in their enemies defenses then rush in and burn all other enemies.
A contingent for thirty sister from the Order of the Valorous Heart were sent to travel with fleet 651 in the 37th millenia due to the greater hazard presented to the fleet (and several sacred artefacts contained there) from the fringe worlds. The sisters were seen as merely a bodyguard of the artefacts and senior ecclessarcy priests within the fleet. Centuries passed with only minor incidents and fleet continued its sacred mission. The bodyguard slowly rotated in more junior battle sisters for a tour before being sent to more suitable assignments.
When the fleet came to world 769174-5 as recorded by their mechanicus allies the fleet settled and began its conversion of the population as normal. 15 months later the fleet was nearly finished in its task on the now designated world of Serene Light (Due to naturally occuring atmospheric lights seen from the planets surface). On the eigth day of the ten commenseration ceremony the Guiding Light Cathedral was placed under seige by locals who secretly still worshiped their ancestral gods.
Inside the cathedral cardinal Hemil Bruam and his chief priests were held captive with only a handful of armed loyal imperial cultists and four battle sisters of the bodyguard. The loyalists were able to fend off the initial revolt and push the enemy far enough so that the main doors could be sealed. The cathedral was a fortress in itself but the it was only a matter of time before the rebels tore down these defenses and claimed the heart of fleet 651.
Duty bound the rest of the battle sisters from the Valorous Heart were shuttled to the cathedral while in orbit the imperial naval captains argued over calling for the guard or cleansing the planet from orbit. The shuttle transporting the sisters was damaged on its way in and forced down before reaching the cathedral. The sisters resolved themselves to fight through the thousands of rebels and protect the faithful within the cathedral. Thus the sororitas began their march toward the besieged cathedral.
Inside the cathedral things grew dire. Local soothsayers called to their gods for aid and began to use sorcerous powers to summon daemonic creatures to assault the doors. As sister superior Mira Ryn looked down from the cathedral tower at the hideous warp creatures assaulting their bastion she made a final decision and told all of the loyalists to come into the main chamber. As they gathered she ordered the junior sisters to cease their march to the fight and to head back to their shuttle. Mira then lead all the loyalists including Bruam in commending their souls to the emperor. Lastly Mira climbed the steps and made contact with the Ferrus' Fist.
Moments later the Fist rained down the cleansing white light from above onto the cathedral for thirty minutes. However by some miracle the cathedral though scarred and broken still stood. Outside the rebels were all but destroyed and the junior sisters claimed those left as the again raced to the cathedral. Inside all the faithful were found unharmed save for Mira who was blinded by the brightness of the lance fire.
Following these events the last of the rebels were hunted down and put to flame. Though crippled and refusing augmetic replacement Mira was still was able to lead her sisters in battle. The sisters were declared a new order and named His Sacred Light in honor of the battles at the Guiding Light Cathedral by cardinal Hemil Bruam. He charged sister superior Rym to build a force capable of defending fleet 651 from all the emperor's enemies.
Last edited by Privatr16; October 9th, 2008 at 20:11.
In general, I like it. A couple things that I find are akward are essenially reserved for the fleet. First off, why are there explorator ships? any world that this fleet would be visiting would already have had an explorator fleet crawling all over it. Second, while I like the idea of a blackship kind of trailing the fleet from a distance, in all likelyhood, any blackships would have been to the planet in question long before the fleet could get there.
Towards the end, with the sisters fighting their way through the mob and then the junior sisters escaping while the superior called own an orbital strike, I don't know how they could have done either of those things if the cathedral was surrounded by an angry mob, I feel they would have been torn to pieces in both instances. I'm not saying that it's bad, you just might want to flesh out that part of the story a bit more.
Other than that, I actually do like the idea of this fleet just flooding a planet with missionaries, a very imperial idea ofquantity of quality. It's also nice seeing a Sisters story, havn't seen one of those in a while.
Maybe I should change explorator vessels to techships (anyone have a better term for generalized Mechanicus vessels that would help the fleet in exchange for any uncovered STC items?)
My reasoning behind blackship trailing the fleet is because the world would be technically non-imperial and not fully explored prior to the missionary fleet being involved. Honestly agents of the inquisition could be planted in the fleet and identify and/or capture psykers in the population to be donated to the black ship. At least the ones burned openly by the more zealous members of the fleet. I also toyed with the idea of the inquisition having a permanent pressence in the fleet to look out for problems and if need be unit the entire force under their command in times of great need against greater threats and heresies.
I meant for the junior battle sisters to be heading towards the crowd to engage but never actually making it to the mob before being called off by the superior. I will edit this in the 1st post. If it still doesn't make sense after I get through the edit hit my over head again and I will work on it some more.
Thank you for your advice.