The Battle Of Calladonia - Warhammer 40K Fantasy
 

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  1. #1
    Bearded Ninja Arklite's Avatar
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    Corpral Wallace risked a glance over the wall "the minions of chaos have made a strong foot hold" he said to his vox-com officar "but they still dont know we are here so keep your head down". The bitter fighting had gone on for about a week and the capital had almost fallen to the foul spawn, he cursed at the psycic who caused this, he had fallen to the lure of chaos and must die for that and he will pay by the hand of a Cally Red......

    The planet Calladonia is located neer to the eye of terror and is often attacked the by the minions of the chaos gods which has led to the Calladonians to become grim and hardend warriors who would only take orders from a fellow calladonian and are scored by commisars for this but many a battle has been won by a Calladonian air assault.

    The planet its self is a very lush mix of forests, flat plains and hills the Calladonians know the landscape and when not at full strenth would often revert to gurrilla raids.

    Gorpus stagared back and forth as he fought to control his host, the man was strong but his time to take hold was at hand. His body began the fearsome transformaition to the form of the blood thrister but as he finnished a mighty cry came from the ruins a huge tide of Calladonian gaurds men rushed to wards Gorpus and his bloodletters. Gorpus laughed at this futile atempt to kill him and stretched his wings to take flight and leave his minions to kill the naive humans but to his atsonishment the humans were winning this was all that he saw before a sentinal opened fire.....


    what do you think for my first piece of fluff?



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    [16:19] <@Alzer> Arky's right though
    [16:20] <@Kaiser-> I know he is.
    [16:20] <@Kaiser-> He usually is.
    [16:20] <@Kaiser-> Sometimes it's intentional.
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  3. #2
    Veteran Sgt. ElGrun's Avatar
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    Very good. But be careful because you have muchos typos, revise your text.

  4. #3
    Senior Member Antioch's Avatar
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    good fluff, but need a bit more detail, and punctuation.
    If Knowledge is Power, then Genius is Tyranny.

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