Hello, I have started writing a story about the Tau and Necrons (and Imperium) hence the name of this topic) and thought I should share it with you

Chapter I

The planet of Orphar VI was once populated by the men of The Imperium, a planet with twenty proud regiments, and another forty-five having just been trained. The 19th Orphar VI regiment being famed for keeping the Tau expanding into the Imperium, with Captain Turan being hailed as a true hero of The Imperium for his service against the so called “greater good.” The men of this world lived, however, almost exclusively in the Northen half of the planet, as the south was covered in dense jungle. This was going to change however, as several regiments from Catachan were going to teach the people of Orphar how to survive in the jungle. Things would have never been as good. Now the planet is almost empty. Imperial temples, manafactoriums and living hives have lay in waste for twenty years. The men of the 19th Orphar VI regiment lay dead, mutilated on the planets surface , those whose corpses had not wasted away to nothing, serve as areminder to any rouge traders who dare land on the planets surface. But the Tau do not care for the dead men, nor the warning their corpses display. They only care for expansion. The ancient skeletons and their masters do not like this doctrine.

Orphar VI- 944th Year of the 41s t Millennia

The Deceiver watched the Tau from the jungle. They appeared to be scouts. He knew what he must do to awake his slaves, to destroy these young, vibrant ones. He despised them. They were, too vibrant, too energetic, too curious. He saw one that was lagging behind the rest of them. That one would be the first to die. The Deceiver followed them for a bit longer, the one that was lagging behind tripped into a ditch, almost entering the jungle where the Deceive hid. Then the trickster struck. He snatched the pathfinder with his left hand, then, turning his right one into a claw, cut off his head. Then the golden beast transformed, into what the pathfinder was, his green armour and brown fatigues . He swooped down to pick up the pathfinder’s gun, when he heard shouting.
“Sha’ol, Sha’ol, where asre you Sha’ol, you’re going to get punished for this, Sha’ol,” shouted one of the Tau scouts.
“Maybe he’s dead? The jungle could’ve swallowed him up,” suggested another one.
“Nonsense, you think that the jungle killed the Imperial men? No. It was something far deadlier, remember the briefing? The things that killed the imperial men were skeletons, red skeletons,” replied the first voice.
“So it was the un-dead? Then we stand no chance, we should evacuate and destroy this world immediately” cried another voice, before a single shot rang out. After a few moments of silence, the second voice spoke.
“He’s killed himself, Shi’ul, why Shi’ul? Why!?”
“Calm down, you think there really isr ed skeletons? Huh? Of course not, just the Imperium being superstitious, isn’t it?” said a forth voice. There was mumbled agreement. The Deceiver smiled to himself. He didn’t need to lead these energetic beings of the young race to the tomb complex, his slaves were already awake. But the Deceiver loves sport.
“I’m over here,” he cried, to the pathfinder squad.

A Memory-923rd Year of the 41s t Millennia

The green lights of the tomb complex were light up once again. The first to awake was an immortal, who, upon leaving his statis chamber, marched over to the armoury and picked up a gauss blaster. Then the rest awoke. A million marching feet descended upon the armoury. Most were there to pick up a Gauss flayer, some, like the immortal, were there to pick up a gauss blaster, some were there to receive a gauss cannon or heavy gauss cannon from one of the machines. The immortal wondered through the tomb complex, that was once more full of life, if it can be called tat. Despite the sound of the other skeletons marching feet on the tomb complex’s metal floor, there was still an eerie silence. Then a voice spoke over the inter-com that was built millions of years ago.
“Warriors of Necrontyr, your time has come, ascend to the top of the tomb comples and, once more, destroy the living, destroy those who mock you for your shortened life, show them their wrong. Show them your immortality. The Immortal Marched to war

Captain Turan was watching the tech-priests of Mars begin to open the door of the giant tomb complex. The captain was unsure what he hated more; being this far south, the tech-priests of Mars (who he thought to be un-faithful and against the emperor) or the tomb entrance itself. It appeared, unholy, it’s walls were full of menacing hieroglyphs. He turned to Commissar Hulaph.
“Do they need us here, they look like they know what they’re doing” Said the Captain in a worried voice.
“For the last time yes, I don’t like it any more than you, but, if that inquisitor is right, then the beasts in there will have the tech-priests guts for breakfast. So belt up and keep the men’s morale up,” ordered the grizzled Commissar. Then the entrance opened.
“Are you ready, Captain?” inquired the sage of Alien Hunter; Inquisitor Juron. The sage (as well as a crusader and his acolyte) had been sent to aid the Captain and the tech-priests.
“Ready? Ready? He was born ready!” Exclaimed the Missionary Exolma who was also attached to the Captain’s squad, he continued: “them tech-priests better keep the old Captain here away from whatever’s in there, ‘cos he’ll rip their heads off with his bare hands.”
Well, if they were Tau, then yeah, sure, they can’t fight hand-to-hand, but Emperor knows what’s in there, thought the Captain. A tech-priest hurried over the hill, calling for the grey-haired Captain, who, like the rest of his regiment, bore the colours of their home-worlds heraldry, brown fatigues and purple armour.
“What do you want, tehc-prest” asked the Captain, with just a hint of disdain to the half man, half robot.
“Are you ready to enter the tomb with us?”
“What? When did I agree to this, I don’t rembe,” he stopped mid-sentence, and turned to his short, fat, grey haired Commissar. He could see his reflection in the Commissars leather jacket.
“Sure you do Captain, I mean, as the missionary said, you’ll rip their heads off,” said the Commissar, smiling wildly, thus sealing the regiments doom. But not the Captain and Commissar’s.

I know my writing isn't that good and really want to get better so C and C is welcome.