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Ok, before I go into this I am only doing this bit by bit, so I can get feedback and improve it with each comment and criticism. This will be my new space marine chapter, which I hope to start after building my Orks. Those who know me, the Scions of Ra will not be repainted - just relegated. Instead, I'm going to build a chapter using the newer rules and hopefully with better painting skills.
Anyway, this is the first part. Please give me good, honest feedback. I'm more of a Fantasy player/fluff lover, but I have done a fair bit of research to make this work for me, I might have missed something, so please let me know.
**********************************IA: Vagilant Swords
During the 36th Millennium, the High Lords of Terra ordered the largest number of space marine chapter chapters created in one founding since the 2nd Founding. Most of these chapters under went 'purifying' techniques by the Adeptus Mechanicus, however these techniques held a disastrous future for many of these chapters. For the purifying went awry and instead many of the chapters created began to show signs of minor gene-seed mutation, or in some cases extreme mutations were rife throughout the chapter. This founding has forever been known as the “Cursed Founding”. Before the Imperium could act upon these mutant chapters it was thrown once more into a bloody civil war known as the “Age of Apostasy”. It was this reason that many of the chapters were left alone by the agents of the Imperium. This was to change shortly after the death of Goge Vandire, for once more the eyes of the Imperium was to look outwards and to other matters long neglected. It was decided that the 22nd Founding was to take place. However, unwilling to repeat previous mistakes the gene-seed used was used of the utmost purity; using Ultramarine, Imperial Fist or their successor's gene-seed.
It was from Black Templar gene-seed that a new chapter was created. This chapter later became known as the Vigilant Swords. As is tradition, a captain of the original chapter, along with a cadre of veterans, would be chosen to train and lead this newly founded chapter in the name of the Immortal Emperor. The first Chapter Master was to be Castellan Tanmoss Kruss. A fine example of a leader, Tanmoss was a skilled tactician and calculating, but he was considered an oddity within the ranks of the Black Templar for he did not share the fiery zeal of his fellow brethren. Instead his true hatred was catered for the mutant, for above all else Tanmoss abhorred the impure and unclean. This trait was passed onto the newly recruited marines, who carved out a name as champions of purity for themselves. It was this purity that almost led the chapter down the path of damnation.
As part of their creation, they were tasked with the eradication of those chapters of the previous founding that the mutation was seen as being extreme. To help in this endeavour they were tasked an Inquisitor of the Ordo Hereticus, Hanler Sobia, to identify the extent of the mutant chapters. However, this Inquisitor had other plans for the chapter, and using their demand for extreme purity he kept them in engagements with chapters, wiping out all that showed any sign of impurity. For over a hundred years the chapter pursued these mutant chapters, wiping out all those deemed 'tainted' by the Inquisitor. It was one-hundred and twenty years after the crusade the chapter had embarked upon that it came to an climatic end, but not one favourable to the loyal chapter. Hanler Sobia had be twisting them to his needs, in secret he had been collecting gene-seed of the fallen chapters as part of a ritual he was to perform. It all came to an end on the Hive world of Dagon IV.
The atmosphere of Dagon IV was made up of poison gases strong enough to make even a space marine feel their effects, and to human beings it was a slow, agonising death. Quite why the world was colonised is unsure, but regardless of the atmosphere the huge Hive spires of five major cities stood tall. For hundreds of years they had existed in peace and harmony, but now one of the cities had stopped all communication with the others for unknown reasons. Upon their arrival the Vigilant Swords and the Inquisitor investigated the 'lost' Hive. It was here that the Inquisitor showed his true colours, whilst on patrol with a single squad of marines he, without warning, gunned them down, all but the veteran sergeant. Summoning to him a pack of cultists the marines were stripped of their armour and dragged deep into the bowls of the Hive's Underworld. Festering in the depths of this city for decades was a depraved cult dedicated to the putrid Dark God Nurgle. They had been gathered, awaiting the Inquisitor's arrival. In a debauched ritual, Hanler Sobia sacrificed the gathered gene-seed of the mutant chapters, as well as the pure gene-seed of the recently slain Vigilant Swords. In return from his diseased patron the Inquisitor was given great and terrible powers, as he was elevated to the heights of daemonhood. Eventually the news of this betrayal reached Tanmoss Kruss. His normally composed manner was shattered in utter rage and hatred, cursing the Inquisition he ordered an assault upon the Hive, leading it himself.
The battle came down to a war of attrition, thousands of the citizens of the Hive had become mindless plague filled zombies and nearly a full third of the world's Imperial Guard regiment had forsaken the immortal Emperor and turned to the Dark Gods. The battle raged until the ex-Inquisitor turned daemon prince entered the fight. Where he walked, death and decay smothered the atmosphere. His once frail seeming form had warped into a grotesque shape, the size of a dreadnought. From almost every orifice dripped some puss leaking lesion, a swarm of thick, black bodied flies constantly buzzed around his form obscuring him from sight completely at times. This being was no longer Hanler Sobia, but was now the Daemon Prince Kanuth'urdurir'Theglanaungl, disciple of Nurgle. Upon seeing his opponent, Tanmoss Kruss bellowed a challenge, forging forward with his Honour Guard in tow, he fought his way to the traitorous Hanler Sobia. The two met in a clash of blade and sparks. Raw daemonic strength pitted against the stalwart defiance of Tanmoss. Time and time again, blade rang off of blade with a peal of thunder and sparks of lightning. Leaping forward, Tanmoss struck the daemon with all his strength, the blessed power weapon of the chapter master seared through the soft flesh of the abomination before him. Screaming a curse as the blessed blade ended the new daemon's life, it struck out, the wailing, grime encrusted blade of the daemonic scythe struck down Tanmoss, easily sliding through the armour of the chapter master to the skin and bone below. With this one final act the daemon was dragged to the realms of the Dark Gods themselves.
With the banishment of the daemon, the cultists found themselves lost and leaderless, no match for the now furious assault of the Emperor's Angels of Death. Scores fell before their blade and bolter until the city was cleansed. The chapter had won, but at great loss. The weapon of the traitorous Inquisitor was coated with the most powerful of toxins, that even the metabolism of a space marine failed to defeat. Tanmoss Kruss's body was lain to rest in the Hive as the chapter returned to their ships in orbit. It was their Chapter Master's dying command, that his corrupted body be left on the planet, to be incinerated with the traitors. It was with a heavy heart that the chapter launched cyclonic torpedoes into the crust of the planet. The entire chapter bore witness to the eradication of the planet, and the explosive funeral of their very first chapter master. The campaign had cost them dearly, for nearly a full third of the chapter was wiped out as a result.
Right, I had bookmarked this for reading and now I finally got around to do it...
Overall I would say that it is pretty good; a nice start.
A few things to note is that Imperial Inquisitors hold no command over Space Marines, and while disregarding an Inquisitor's wish would be somewhat unwise since they don't turn to the Marines except in the most dire situations, it is not unheard of. So that an Inquisitor commands an entire Chapter is a bit... implausible, if not downright impossible.
Instead of him luring the entire chapter, you could have him accompany an expedition of the Chapter's finest, including the Master, on their crusade to hunt down these mutated Marines.
Another thing is that Space Marine chapters are never deployed at full strength in one location. The Marine companies can be scattered all across the galaxy, one guarding the Eye of Terror while another fights the Tau on the Eastern Fringe. Even in such a cataclysmic war as the 13th Black Crusade or the Third war for Armageddon are entire chapters deployed in one theatre.
This is partly because very few enemies are powerful enough to stand against even a single company of Marines and also not to risk that entire chapters are killed in terrible conflicts (see: Scythes of the Emperor or Lamenters).
I also doubt that the Marines would use Cyclonic torpedoes (ie. world killers/weapons of Exterminatus), since they are only used on very rare occasions when there's no hope at all in reclaiming the world for the Imperium. They require the sanctioning of an Inquisitor or a high-ranking military official, such as a Warmaster, to be deployed and even they don't take it lightly.
Usually it is easier just to bomb the world from orbit, especially if the population is centralised in a few centres such as Hives, and ship in new settlers.
I'm looking forward to reading more of your chapter, if you decide to share it that is.
Question: since your Ra-boys are so awesome at the moment (IMO), how will you paint these?
Last edited by Da Mighty Camel; December 22nd, 2008 at 19:04.
I wasn't saying he commanded, but helped. He pointed the chapter towards these other ones, I would say he is was more like a navigator of some description.
Sorry, I should have explained that the chapter was very much under strength. I'm thinking less than half of the chapter, so they were all together due to their size.
In the marine's eyes the planet was tainted, there could be no saving even in the slightest. So, the ultimate sanction was issued.
I am unsure of the colour, I was thinking of perhaps a green-blue tone. I will need to do some test minis to see.
I have done a bit more. Not sure what else to add for the homeworld, I was thinking about a challenge for the aspirants - something like they must get back to the monastery in two days, but thought it might be a bit clichéd.
After the events on Dagon IV the Vigilant Swords took part in small scale campaigns, liberating worlds in the name of the Emperor. They recruited from these worlds, using only the purest of humans, and slowly the chapter began to rebuild. Finally they found themselves in the Ghoul Stars pursuing some Eldar pirates. After a fierce few months of ship based warfare the pirates were defeated by numerous boarding actions by the marines. It was the current chapter master's decision that the Vigilant Swords were to claim a homeworld. He chose the Lyncis System for the chapter's home. The Lyncis System consisted of three planets, the first was a dead rock, incapable of supporting life. The other two were capable, but only one of them held human life still. This single planet was known as Huldra Prime. The occupants of this world were at a level akin to the Dark Ages on ancient Terra, split into a multi-tribe society with frequent wars and trade between these tribes. The populous is spread about the single continent of the world, the rest of the world being sixty-five percent water, with a single large mountain range in the centre. This mountain range is known as the “Black Spires” by the inhabitants, for each mountain is made of a sheer black rock, a highly coveted material by the tribes for their weapons. These mountains are inhabited by various large creatures, it is for this reason that each year the tribes put aside their differences and go on “The Great Hunt”. This is a cleansing of these creatures, and is seen as a great honour to be involved in this, and many involved return with pelts or skins of these animals to be fashioned into items. So strong is this tradition, that it is continued by the marines. It is often used by the scout sergeants as training exercises to bond squads together.
It is in these mountains that it was decided the Vigilant Swords would live. Choosing the highest, largest spire they turned it into their chapter monastery, “The Spire”. Unlike other chapters, the Vigilant Swords shun normal humans, leaving them to their own devises as they spread the word of the Emperor in the skies. The only time they do mix the populous is the “Blood Night”, after “The Great Hunt”. During this night the tribes hold honour duels to chose those strongest among them, at the height of the moon, which takes on a red hue, the chapters apothecaries and chaplains appear to offer the bravest and strongest of the tribes a place among them. These aspirants are vigorously tested for their genetic purity, it is not unknown for a perfectly healthy aspirant to be rejected for the slightest of genetic defects.