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The Fluff so far is that the chapter is currently underpowered and in a transition period.
The chapter lost more than half the first company along with the entire 3rd, 4th and a big part of the 10th. But the real catastrophe is that the previous chapter master was lost too.
They were a part of a strike force charged with taking out splinter fleets of hive fleet Leviathan. The attacks were well planned and well-coordinated with the Imperial guard. The strike force got lost when scouring the polluted hive world Scalor in 953.M41. The ground assault was going according to plan when a second fleet entered the system and attacked the Imperial fleets surrounding the planet. The fleets of the Empire were utterly destroyed after an intense and deadly battle. Surrounded and unsupported the land armies were withered down and eventually destroyed. There have as of yet not found been found any survivors.
The underpowered chapter ended their crusading ways and settled down in the crude and uncivilized system of Kalinides. The system, still in the middle of an industrial revolution now speed up by the arrival of the space marines, is a good starting point for rebuilding the chapter. The people are primitive and hard working and the planets and moons are ripe with resources. The Astral Crusaders have started recruited both new neophytes for rebuilding the chapter and soldiers for a new system wide army of Imperial Guard.
There are only two inhabitable planets. Prandium II (named after the former jewel of the ultramar system) and Yiel both are lush and green agri-worlds. Most people in Kalinides however, live on the moons of Kyrkorr, the biggest planet in the system. Kyrkorr is a monstrous gas giant and almost a system in it’s own right with an astonishing 56 moons, 12 of which are inhabitable. The chapter monastery is located on Scalor. A small moon named after the tragedy struck planet that claimed almost half the chapter. Scalor is no more that a bare rock floating in space. The only real feature of the moon is the towering monastery in the making covering a big part of the northern pole.
Scalor is now the new heart of the Astral Crusaders. These battle brothers with a hunger for revenge are fiercely determined to rebuild their chapter. They are building up their new home and welcoming more and more new battle brothers whilst fighting the Ork menace infesting Kalinides. Enemies of the emperor will receive no mercy and no quarter from these warriors. The battle brothers of the Astral Crusaders will smite anyone in their way with righteous fury, the Emperor’s wrath and the roar of the holy bolter!
Do you like it? C and C welcome.
Solid... nothing new or original...
The only reason why don't I like it is the same arrogance slightly mixed with over-enthusiasm of these marines and the fact, that many things were based on other chapters... the result is ordinary chapter, one of hundreds. Nothing special or interesting stated in their history, rather then fluff (in which I'd rather see a story describing a single extraordinary situation in their history).
Why not add some more character to the chapter, give them some unique selling point: what distuingishes your chapter from the 999 other chapters out there? It's 38 THOUSAND years in the future on a different planet, they must have loads of weird features!
Some ideas to add character (no1 being the most cliche, the last the least cliche)
1. Add a historical feel, the SW have vikings, the black templars have the crusades, etc.
2. Add a dark secret, something like the DA
3. A mutation, like the SW fangs or the Black Dragon arm blades.
4. Make it a suffering chapter, like the crimson fists or Lamenters, we know all about the brass balls chapters, give us one that's not going to good.
Got a "good" rumour from a GW staffer? Forget about it, LO'ers know more than any random GW shop staffer.
Voor alle nederlanders:
The Dutch Legion
I hear ya. And thanks for adding your thoughts
ill go through my notes later today and ill post a revised version later tonight.