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Hey, Ive been writing this short narrative and I wondered what people think. Its not finished yet though. Thanks for any input
Private Johnson looked out over the bleak, lightning cracked sky as the rhinos and land raiders of the Night Lords Chaos Legion approached from across the barren landscape.
“You will not faulter!” cried the commissar from behind, his boots clicking against the metal grating that criss-crossed the floor, “You will not doubt!” The sky rolled with a thunderous roar, “You will trust in the Emperor’s Light!” A distant rumble grew nearer, but it was not the sky, “FOR THE EMP-!“ the commissars words were cut short as a Chaos Raptor ripped his head in two with his taloned feet, its jump pack emitting a thunderous screech. Johnson swung round and fired out with his lasgun, but it did little to prevent the chainsword wielding monster.
“Where is your emperor now?” laughed the thrice damned traitor coldly, before thrusting his sword deep into the belly of the private, whose world swiftly turned black.
“Damn!” muttered Captain Gabriel Cassan as the blackened drop pods of the Night Lords fell all the way down his lines. Simultaneously the doors of the screeching bringers of death opened and from each one a squad of Night Lords erupted upon the guardsmen. Cassan cursed, he should have foreseen this. Nearby a chaotic sorcerer was opening a breach between the warp and the mortal world. He knew if the portal opened all hope would be lost.
“Quickly, close that portal!” He ordered a nearby psyker. The psyker attempted to concentrate on the portal, but his head erupted with chaotic power. Cassan cursed again, while the stern eye of the commissar lord looked on. Cassan had to think fast if he was to keep the line.
“This is Captain Gabriel Cassan, requesting reinforcements in sector plural Z alpha, URGENTLY!”
The commissar gazed on, a questioning look upon his face.
Veteran Sergeant Valk cut down the latest chaos marine his squad had attacked. They had been hidden in a trench system some metres away from the “official” frontline, and had seen the drop pods land. After losing contact with their controlling lieutenant, Valk had led his squad on a hit and run against an unexpecting squad. After a single assault, however, he had lost three veterans and he doubted he could fight his way back to head quarters. He assessed his options, then led his squad back into the trenches...
Cassan’s control tower shook with concentrated energy – a long range lascannon shot from a land raider - they were approaching faster than he expected.
“We need those reinforcements NOW!” screamed the captain down the comm-link. He cursed the commissar keeping him from retreating his forces, not that he could, surrounded by chaos both in front and behind. He looked desperately at the horizon, hoping to see the sleek drop pods of the Adeptus Astartes. There was none. Suddenly, the Land Raider that attacked the tower blew up in a cloud of flame...
“Woo Hoo!” screamed the mad, melta wielding veteran, Yhan. Valk shook his head, “You nearly killed us all, you crazed bastard! Now, we’ve got to get out from underneath this smouldering wreck, before the spikeys come looking” Valk’s squad had destroyed a landraider from underneath after it drove over their thrench, “they’re gonna be kinda suspicious that one of their prized Land Raiders has just gone up in smoke...” The guardsmen scurried down the trench as a Night Lord landed behind them; Yhan spun round and fired a melta shot at the traitor’s head, which melted onto its shoulders before it collapsed. “SHOT!!!” exclaimed the hyped up veteran.
“He’s gonna get us all killed one day wielding that thing!” complained the always cynical Veteran Gandan...
Once again the control tower shook with chaotic energy – but not that of a man made weapon; a greater daemon of Tzeencht had entered mortal space from inside the warp, Imperial forces had failed to stop the sorcerer opening the warp, and the daemons of Khorne and Tzeencht poured through the ugly twisted warp hole. Cassan saw all hope was lost and submitted himself to the voices of Chaos that filled his mind.
“In the name of our holy emperor, I execute you!” stated the Commissar Lord, almost clinically. Bang.
“This is Commissar Lord Tecken, requesting support from the Inquisition!” He screamed through the comm-link, while the control tower shook once again – this time it was coming down. The girders creaked and groaned as the tower chrashed to the ground, collapsing in on itself crushing the Lord Commissar and impaling him upon a steel beam...
Sergeant Valk and his remaining squad members saw the whole scene; the control tower crashing to the ground, the chaotic forces pouring through the hole in space, the first wave of Space Marine drop pods of the Aurora Chapter.
“By the Emperor, the Adeptus Astartes!” whispered Yhan in awe, while a squad a sternguard veterans supported by a librarian poured out – their work had begun...
“Ah,” thought Brother Librarian Garran, who saw the huge, swirling hole of the Warp some 100 yards away. He prepared his mind to battle the traitor maintaining the portal while his surrounding Sternguards engaged nearby traitors with the unstable Vengeance Rounds, slaying several before taking a wound from a lucky bolter round. Brother Garran lashed out with Smite against the sorcerer, who swiftly fell. Now all he needed to do was close the portal before anymore daemons flooded into existence...
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