Need help with new chapter Ash Wolves - Warhammer 40K Fantasy

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  1. #1
    Member Abraxus122's Avatar
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    Need help with new chapter Ash Wolves

    Hey Guys,

    here is what I have at the moment all comments will be appreciated tell me what you think.
    Chapter: Ash Wolves
    Founding: 21st
    Mutations: The Marine’s skin is covered in what appears to be third degree burns causing superhuman resistance to heat.
    Motto: Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust
    Home World: Holocaust Located on the border of Segmentum Solar near Badab
    Planet Climate:
    Holocaust is one of the hottest planets in the universe with an average temperature of 450o K ranging from 100o K on the dark side of the planet to 700o K on the light side of the planet. Holocaust is also prone to volcanic and seismic activity.
    Planet Ecosystem:
    The surface of Holocaust is barren wasteland covered in ash; however, the extremely slow rotation of the planet, 6 months, allows for life to continue on the dark side of the planet. The diet of the wildlife of Holocaust is able to gather nutrients from the ash which covers the planet. The native predator is the magma wolf a canine like creature only able to consume ash. The magma wolf proves to be a highly resilient predator burning its prey to ashes using a system of glands to cause a chemical flame which can reach 1500o K. The Ash Wolves Chapter looks to these creatures as examples of resilience and often uses them to hunt down enemies on the battlefield. Furthermore the Ash Wolves Chapter has harvested the glands of fallen magma wolves to create flamers and melta-weapons that are the envy of the Imperium
    History of the Ash Wolves:
    The Ash Wolves genetic mutation allowed the members of the chapter to establish the death-world Holocaust as their home-world. Due to the close proximity to Badab the Ash Wolves became close allies of the Astral Claws and participated in many battles at the request of the Astral Claws.During the Badab war Flame Father Mundzuk and the Ash Wolves Sided with the Astral Claws due to the close friendship that had developed between the Ash Wolves and the Astral Claws. The Ash Wolves fought with great tenacity plunging deep into the lines of the Imperium but as the war grew so did Huron’s madness. As the Missions the Ash Wolves were given by Huron became more and more suicidal Flame Father Mundzuk realized that his decision to join the Astral Claws was a grave mistake which would lead to the destruction of the Ash Wolves.
    During the capture of the Wolf of Fenris the Ash Wolves took part in the boarding of the Wolf of Fenris but were tasked with securing the lower half of the ship. The Ash Wolves suffered many casualties, but completed their task. During the capture of the Wolf of Fenris the Ash Wolves under the command of Captain Skula captured many of the thunder wolves which the Space Wolves had carried onto the ship. Captain Skula was given the title Lord of Wolves for his capture of the prized war beasts and given command of the newly formed Wolf Cavalry. Captain Skula’s Wolf Cavalry served with valor for the rest of the conflict plunging deep within enemy lines striking fear into the hearts of the loyalist chapters.
    However; as the Badab War continued the rebel chapters surrendered one by one the destruction of the Ash Wolves seemed more and more like a reality. Flame Father Mundzuk was reluctant to leave the side of his once good friend Huron, but at the battle for the Palace of Thorns Flame Father Mundzuk Commanded his troops to assault the Astral Claws in hopes of winning the emperors forgiveness. The Assault of the Ash Wolves caused a massive disruption within the lines of the Astral Claws and caused their eventual rout
    After the Conclusion of the war the Ash Wolves were given a similar treatment as the other Chapters who had joined Huron. A Century long Crusade to guard the Maelstrom and the loss of their home-world. However, the punishment the Ash Wolves received was much more severe as they had inflicted massive casualties upon the loyalist chapters. The Ash Wolves were tasked with Guarding the Maelstrom For the rest of their existence with no hope of ever regaining their home-world and Losing all privileges to recruit new members. The difference between the treatment of the other Rebels and the Ash Wolves has caused a rift between the Ash Wolves and the Executioners, Lamenters, and Mantis Warriors.
    As the Ash Wolves served their punishment Flame Father Mundzuk grew tired of the harsh punishment imposed on the Ash Wolves by the Imperium and once again looked for an alliance between his former friend Huron and the Ash Wolves. Huron accepted and during a secret council the Ash Wolves were given technology and weapons to aid in the re-conquest of Holocaust. Huron also aided the Ash Wolves by bringing Fabius Bile to the secret council where Fabius Bile preformed vivisections on the Captured Thunder Wolves, creating the first Greater Magma Wolves making the creatures more suited to the death-world Holocaust.
    With the Support of Huron the Ash Wolves set out to recapture their home world from the Flame Eagles that now inhabited it the battle raged for 4 months however the tactical prowess of Flame Father Mundzuk and the ferocity of Lord of Wolves Skula and the Greater Magma Wolf Cavalry broke the back of the Flame Eagles. With the re-conquest of Holocaust complete the Ash Wolves begin to remake their chapter into the fiercest renegades in the Universe. After the re-conquest of Holocaust Flame Father Mundzuk granted Fabius Bile permission to continue experiments on Holocaust using the captured enemies of the Ash Wolves. Furthermore; Flame Father Mundzuk has also granted Huron the ability to use Holocaust as a port.
    Tactics:
    Forge Father Mundzuk has exhibited a penchant for utilizing Heavy Vehicles and high numbers of Flamers and Melta-Weapons to overwhelm the enemy under a mid range assault of fire and Steel. Lord of Wolves Skula Prefers a close combat approach to dealing with enemies utilizing his prized Greater Magma Wolves and Magma Wolves to run over the enemy in an assault of tooth, claw, and flame.

    1750 Ash Wolves (Ex-Traitor Marines) W/L/D 9/0/1
    1750 Bad Moons (Orks) W/L/D 15/3/2

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  3. #2
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    What's your color scheme?

    The fluff is pretty good, the only problem I have is with the Thunderwolves accepting the Ash Wolves without question. A Thunderwolf is highly intelligent and fiercely loyal, I just don't see any of them accepting the Ash Wolves like that. Perhaps Bile could turn them into greater magma wolves right away?
    I couldn't think of anything funny, smart, or witty to say, so I said this.

  4. #3
    Member Abraxus122's Avatar
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    thanks for the tip ... but the colors are Black, White, and Grey Camo
    1750 Ash Wolves (Ex-Traitor Marines) W/L/D 9/0/1
    1750 Bad Moons (Orks) W/L/D 15/3/2

  5. #4
    Son of LO Marius the Possessed's Avatar
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    Good, but there's just one thing: the taking of the Wolf of Fenris didn't occur during the Badab War. It happened many years afterwards, when Huron had become Blackheart and the Astral Claws the Red Corsairs. So maybe move it to being part of the reconciliation between Blackheart and your Chapter Master.

  6. #5
    Member Abraxus122's Avatar
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    oh I had no Idea thank you very much for that imput
    1750 Ash Wolves (Ex-Traitor Marines) W/L/D 9/0/1
    1750 Bad Moons (Orks) W/L/D 15/3/2

  7. #6
    Member Abraxus122's Avatar
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    Changes

    Included are some changes to reflect your imputs.

    Chapter: Ash Wolves
    Founding: 21st
    Mutations: The Marineís skin is covered in what appears to be third degree burns causing superhuman resistance to heat.
    Motto: Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust
    Colors: Black White and Grey Camo
    Home World: Holocaust Located on the border of Segmentum Solar near Badab
    Planet Climate:
    Holocaust is one of the hottest planets in the universe with an average temperature of 450o K ranging from 100o K on the dark side of the planet to 700o K on the light side of the planet. Holocaust is also prone to volcanic and seismic activity.
    Planet Ecosystem:
    The surface of Holocaust is barren wasteland covered in ash; however, the extremely slow rotation of the planet, 6 months, allows for life to continue on the dark side of the planet. The diet of the wildlife of Holocaust is able to gather nutrients from the ash which covers the planet. The native predator is the ash-wolf a canine like creature only able to consume ash. The magma wolf proves to be a highly resilient predator burning its prey to ashes using a system of glands to cause a chemical flame which can reach 1500o K. The Ash Wolves Chapter looks to these creatures as examples of resilience and often uses them to hunt down enemies on the battlefield. Furthermore the Ash Wolves Chapter has harvested the glands of fallen magma wolves to create flamers and melta-weapons that are the envy of the Imperium

    History of the Ash Wolves:
    The Ash Wolves genetic mutation allowed the members of the chapter to establish the death-world Holocaust as their home-world. Due to the close proximity to Badab the Ash Wolves became close allies of the Astral Claws and participated in many battles at the request of the Astral Claws.During the Badab war Flame Father Mundzuk and the Ash Wolves Sided with the Astral Claws due to the close friendship that had developed between the Ash Wolves and the Astral Claws. The Ash Wolves fought with great tenacity plunging deep into the lines of the Imperium but as the war grew so did Huronís madness. As the Missions the Ash Wolves were given by Huron became more and more suicidal Flame Father Mundzuk realized that his decision to join the Astral Claws was a grave mistake which would lead to the destruction of the Ash Wolves.
    As the Badab War continued the rebel chapters surrendered one by one the destruction of the Ash Wolves seemed more and more like a reality. Flame Father Mundzuk was reluctant to leave the side of his once good friend Huron, but at the battle for the Palace of Thorns Flame Father Mundzuk Commanded his troops to assault the Astral Claws in hopes of winning the emperors forgiveness. The Assault of the Ash Wolves caused a massive disruption within the lines of the Astral Claws and caused their eventual rout
    After the Conclusion of the war the Ash Wolves were given a similar treatment as the other Chapters who had joined Huron. A Century long Crusade to guard the Maelstrom and the loss of their home-world. However, the punishment the Ash Wolves received was much more severe as they had inflicted massive casualties upon the loyalist chapters. The Ash Wolves were tasked with Guarding the Maelstrom For the rest of their existence with no hope of ever regaining their home-world and losing all privileges to recruit new members. The difference between the treatment of the other Rebels and the Ash Wolves has caused a rift between the Ash Wolves and the Executioners, Lamenters, and Mantis Warriors.
    As the Ash Wolves served their punishment Flame Father Mundzuk grew tired of the harsh punishment imposed on the Ash Wolves by the Imperium and once again looked for an alliance between his former friend Huron and the Ash Wolves. Huron accepted and during a shadow council the Ash Wolves were given technology and weapons to aid in the re-conquest of Holocaust in exchange for their aid in the capture of the Wolf of Fenris. During the capture of the Wolf of Fenris the Ash Wolves took part in the boarding of the Wolf of Fenris but were tasked with securing the lower half of the ship. The Ash Wolves under the command of Captain Síkula suffered many casualties, but completed their task. During the battle the Ash Wolves under the command of Captain Síkula captured many of the Thunder Wolves which the Space Wolves had carried onto the ship. The Thunder Wolves proved difficult to control and almost had to be destroyed. However; Huron called Fabius Bile to a shadow council where Fabius Bile preformed vivisections on the Captured Thunder Wolves, creating the first Greater Magma Wolves which made the creatures more suited to the death-world Holocaust and also making the creatures easier to control. The original captor of the Thunder Wolves Captain Síkula was given command of the First Company of Greater Magma Wolf Cavalry and the title Lord of Wolves for his contributions.
    With the Support of Huron the Ash Wolves set out to recapture their home world from the Flame Eagles that now inhabited it the battle raged for 4 months however the tactical prowess of Flame Father Mundzuk and the ferocity of Lord of Wolves Síkula and the Greater Magma Wolf Cavalry broke the back of the Flame Eagles. With the re-conquest of Holocaust complete the Ash Wolves begin to remake their chapter into the fiercest renegades in the Universe. After the re-conquest of Holocaust Flame Father Mundzuk granted Fabius Bile permission to continue experiments on Holocaust using the captured enemies of the Ash Wolves. Furthermore; Flame Father Mundzuk has also granted Huron the ability to use Holocaust as a port.
    Tactics:
    Forge Father Mundzuk has exhibited a penchant for utilizing Heavy Vehicles and high numbers of Flamers and Melta-Weapons to overwhelm the enemy under a mid range assault of fire and Steel. Lord of Wolves Skula Prefers a close combat approach to dealing with enemies utilizing his prized Greater Magma Wolves and Magma Wolves to run over the enemy in an assault of tooth, claw, and flame.
    1750 Ash Wolves (Ex-Traitor Marines) W/L/D 9/0/1
    1750 Bad Moons (Orks) W/L/D 15/3/2

  8. #7
    Thinks he's a big deal rafis117's Avatar
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    I'm intrigued by the idea that third-degree burns (or something that looks like third-degree burns) creates (at least in fluff terms) a resistance to fire. I would have thought that it would imbue a paralyzing fear of fire. Please, elaborate.
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  9. #8
    Son of LO Marius the Possessed's Avatar
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    O, something I forgot to mention before. Your planet is WAY too hot.

    First off, you have the hot side being 700 degrees Kelvin. That's 420 degrees Celsius, 800 degrees Farenheit. And the metal lead melts at 600 Kelvin. So your planet cannot sustain human life, its probably far too hot for even Space Marines in power armour. And since this is a home planet, there should be some form of nearby (as in either on the planet or in orbit) human population for them to draw recruits from. And unless they are far underground, they can't be nearby. So you need to add something like that.

    And now for the dark side. You say the temperatures range from 90 K (-183 C, -297 F) to 450 K (177 C, 350 F). FAR too much of a variation there, you go from a point where you could probably freeze helium if atmosphereic pressure was strong enough, to a point where you could slow-bake a pizza on the ground. Your dark side should either be around 100 K (-173 C, -279 F) all the time, or it should be around the same as the light side (in which case it would need a Venus-like atmosphere, with a constant barrier of sulphorous clouds so that no sunlight gets in but all heat is trapped).

    I am going to assume that you took the statistics for the planet Mercury to form your fluff planet (700 K on the light side, 100 K on the dark). Remember, however, that Mercury has virtually no atmosphere, which is what makes these heat variations possible. So to get the same temperatures, your planet is the same, which is another deterent against any sort of plant or animal life.

    So you'd have to change your temperatures and your planetary climate to make this planet believable. And find out where all the people went that are recruited into your Chapter's ranks.

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    Explanation of the Burn

    The Idea behind the burned like skin is that durring the geneseed acceptance the skin undergoes an extream mutation which causes the skin to burst into flame for 10-30 seconds. The burn permanently damages the nerve endings causing the Ash Wolves to have a higher pain tolerance than most Marines should they survive the geneseed implants. (No In Game Effect)

    The Rite of Immolation, as the process has come to be known, serves as a test of the Recruit's self control since any attempt to extinguish the flame by the Recruit will cause the Ash Priest to Kill the Recruit before the Rite is completed. The Ash Wolves view the burn as a badge of honor and merit. By being subjected to the Burn the marines have lost thier fear of fire and freely wield Flame and Melta technology.

    However; the Rite of Immolation has caused the Ash Wolves to become feared and viewed as abominations in the eyes of those unfamiliar with the mutation of the Ash Wolves

    Planet Considerations

    True .. I did take the planet stats from mercury perhaps it is too hot would an average temperature of 473 degrees K be more feasable. I was considering having the Native inhabitants of Holocaust living in underground complexes to avoid the heat.
    1750 Ash Wolves (Ex-Traitor Marines) W/L/D 9/0/1
    1750 Bad Moons (Orks) W/L/D 15/3/2

  11. #10
    Son of LO Marius the Possessed's Avatar
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    355 (x8)

    Better, still hot enough to bake bread on the surface. If you choose that, then explain how everyone would have to wear power armour while outside at all times.

    And remember that Space Marine recruits are taken from feral tribes or other locations where people have to be strong and tough to just survive, maybe have the underground complexes run by gang lords to promote this idea.

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