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  1. #1
    Member DOOMFIRE's Avatar
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    IA- Lords of Steel pleas C&C

    Index Astrates: Lords Of Steel

    -Origins-

    During the Great Crusade, the world of Scarus was one of the first planets to be reclaimed by the Imperium, based within the Scarian sector. The Forces of the Emperor found a quiet world, full of tough warriors that cooperate with other people of the planet. The world happily accepted the rule of the Emperor. Fascinatingly, the Planet was untouched by war and poverty following the Age Of Strife. The people of Scarus had all the essentials to help humans to survive.

    With the planet within the new Imperium, the Crusade carried on, and the people of Scarus carried on everyday life, occasionally sending supplies to help the Great Crusade but apart from that did nothing Noticeable.

    When the Horus Heresy dawned upon the Imperium, the forces of Horus and the other heretical Primarchs and their legions had to pass the world of Scarus top reach Terra. The people were terrified of what the vast army was going to do. The people of Scarus had nothing that could slow the advance of the Army towards Terra so sat in fear of whether the army would turn and attack them. However, the forces of Horus were far to focused on getting to Terra so passed the planet without notice.

    After the events of the Horus Heresy, the people of Scarus heard the news about the death of Their Emperor. The people of Scarus blamed themselves with the death of the Emperor because they did not do anything to try and hold the forces of Horus back before they reached Terra. They thought that if the forces of Horus were delayed even a day or two, then the other loyalist Chapter of the Space Marines could have been there to help the Emperor.

    The Beliefs and law changed a lot after the events of the Horus Heresy, Scarus started their own Planetary defence force, helping and receiving arms and other necessities from the neighbouring planet which was that of a forge world. The Planet had raised quite a large PDF and the planet was a lot safer from attempted invasions now.

    Before long, The regiment of Imperial Guard that belonged to Terra found the planet and saw the PDF force upon Scarus and started to induct warriors into that of their own Regiment. The people of Scarus did not disagree because Terra was the home of the Emperor and if they serve under the Emperor their sins may be Forgiven.

    Several Thousand years later the Lords Of Steel came into existence. The Homeworld of this chapter was chosen to be Scarus because of the ideal partnership the Chapter could have with its people and the opportunities of easy replenishments on ammo because of the neighbouring forge world. The actual time of creation of this chapter is unknown. What is known is that the chapter was created using the Gene Stock of the Iron Hands Chapter and they were placed within the Segmentum Solar to counter the uprising Orks and Chaos Threats.

    The Gene Seed of the Iron Hands was an obvious choice for this chapter. The toughness and courage of the chapter matches that of the people of Scarus. The strength and will of the chapter was also the right choice because of the threats that the chapter was going to mainly face. The Chapter took up a castle at the top of the planet as their fortress monastery and has recon bases all over the planet so that contact can be made quickly in between the planet and the monastery.

    After a century of recruiting civilians into the ranks of the Chapter and stocking up on ammunition and other battle aids, the chapter set off towards its first challenge. An Ork threat had been reported on the planet of Lottos, the feral world of Sub Sector Scarian. Within three hundred years of service, the chapter had purged the Sub Sector Clean and began to move forward into neighbouring systems. Within the two millennia of setting out to purge the enemies of the Emperor and the Imperium, the chapter had faced every threat possible. The Chapter Has fought on many worlds and against many enemies including: a Tau Cadre, Ork waaaagh!, Renegade Chapter known as 'The Black Ravens, a Tyranid infestation and a Necron Phlanx.

    i am meant to put soething clever and cool in this box, But do you know what i really cant think of anything at all. LOL <-----sums me up very well

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  3. #2
    Son of LO Marius the Possessed's Avatar
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    Couple things here. First off, Scarus is the name of the sector of space in which Cadia is located. Maybe want to change a bit there.

    Second, according to the new timeline of the HH novels, the forces of Horus took seven years to get to Terra, and were spread out amongst the galaxy. They conquered and razed plenty of worlds in that time, so maybe you want to be specific on who it was moving past your planet, and why they were in such a hurry.

    Third, your planet would have been forced to submit its own regiments during the Great Crusade and after, as well as supplies. Worlds weren't just left to their own devices, they were actively assimilated into the Imperium and forced to contribute. They would have also have had their own PDF once compliant, as the Imperium doesn't leave worlds so completely unprotected, especially so soon after compliance. And if it was one of the first planets reclaimed, they would have raised many, many regiments. Worlds don't just raise one, they typically raise dozens, if not hundreds.

    Fourth, you haven't really given any real reason for a Chapter to be based on your world. Chapters chose worlds as recruiting grounds based on how tough their peoples are, not how friendly to the local government. That's why Chapters are based on hive worlds (filled with tough gangs), death worlds (with resilient native populations) or feudal/feral worlds (warrior cultures). Your world seems like a typical planet with nothing forcing any of the peoples on it to be above average.

    Finally, you choose the Iron Hands as your founding Chapter. Alright, the proximity to a forge world definately helps here, as the Hands are big into technology, but you say that they were chosen because of their 'toughness and courage.' All Space Marine Legions were known for toughness and courage, and the two loyalist Legions known most for those qualities were the Ultramarines (courage) and the Salamanders (endurance). Even the Imperial Fists would be a better fit than the Iron Hands, who are all about how flesh is weak and machines are perfect. They encourage competition as well, so a world where everyone gets along would simply not appeal to them.

    This is a good first try, but you do need to do some research on some of the factors you want to include. Rewrite the history of your world to better reflect the times, and if you want the Iron Hands as your founder then up the connection to the forge world and have your indigenous population highly competitive with each other, in a way that would make them tougher then your average human. Maybe turn the planet into a mining world, where different guilds pays its workers based on how well they do against other workers in long shifts in the mines. That makes them tougher and more enduring, adds competition and the ore could be sent to the forge world, making strong ties to the Mechanicum.

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