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this is only me second fluff that i have ever done some im still very scratchy so bear with me ok??
Part 1- The battle begins
The aspect warriors moved swiftly and soundly through the familiar jungle region of there homeworld biel-tan. This all but extinct race is very mysterious and unpredictable in many ways and they attack without cause or warning. The striking scorpions with there razor sharp chain-swords that could slice through flesk like butter and there shruiken catapults for a short rabged attack. The howling Banshees with there power swords that can pierce the most toughest armour in the whole universe. Warp Spiders and Swooping Hawks with there jump packs and death spinners make a great unit for suprise attacks. Fire Dragons with there tank destroying guns and useful exarchs and Dark reapers with there long ranged reaper cannons also very handy in dire situations and last dire avengers. They attack in numbers along with there power sworgs adn can rip through low armoured armies.
These aspect warriors were not hunting for fun today no.......... they were hunting orks!!
It had come to there attention that the orks that had landed on Biel-Tan had began multiplying much to the eldars disgust and were infesting everything un orkish thing in sight and they had to be stopped. They had tried many times to innahalate these pests but unfortunately numbers were not on there side and they failed. Now they had to win.
The strongest part of this ork infestation in a certain part of biel tan called nuagath and many attempts to take back this region were unsuccesful but this time they were determined. they had thought up a strategy that could not fail and thought that if this main region of this ork infestation was destroyed the rest would soon crumble.
The biel-tan had worked out that the orks were not the brightest bunch of um.....things and if you made a sudden but powerful surprise attack they could have a chance of taking back what was once theres.
The scene was set. They had the aspect warriors attacking the most vulnerable spot of this ork incampment. They had the Heavy Support attacking the stronget part because they were the strongest units. The troop units would attack with the fast attack units and they would be covering the other units as they attacked. Along side the aspect warriors the mighty demi-god the Avatar. He was the commander of all of this and he would attack with the aspect-warriors.
To make this plan work they all had to attack at the exact same time because if one attacked before the other the orks would noe what is going to happen.
Moving swiftly through the dense bush the aspect warriors of biel tan were almost at there destination, finally when they reached it the avatar gave the signal for the rest of the units and they charged. roaring out from there hiding spot the aspecta warriors and the avatar charged!! with mighty force.......................
To Be continued
Coming soon!! Part 2 War is Death
and Part 3 The after math
so what do you think i could make a mini series out of this with a few fine tune ups so post you ideas all compliments and constructive critisism welocme
Not bad for a rough draft. Just a few minor points.
Biel Tan isn't exactly a planet, it's a craftworld, which is basicly a gigantic ship the size of a planet. There's no way any orcs would ever get close to a Craftworld.These things are the the only thing ensuring the Eldar's survival,and each Eldar Craftworld dritfs through space with the majority of it's fleet constantly escorting it.If anything was lucky enough to get close to a Craftworld,it would be like one of the worse things imaginable.Maybe you could have them scoruign the orc infestation from an Exodite world under thier protection?
Also as far as the Avatars, they're generaly only called upon when things are getting serious, not for something as trivial as escorting a small Ork-hunting party.
But yeah..that's all I got. Don't get discouraged. Keep writing, you'll work it out eventualy. ^_^
ok then thnx for that ill try to remember that for the next fluff i do
cmon pplz post your opinions here
Yeah, what Edicus said. I real good starting block. just need to works smoe htings out. Tyr ferreting out Beil-tan fluff from every where (I think the Latest White Dwarf should have some). Then make suere you have a celar and deep knowledge of Beil-tan and it's place in history, and fire away. You'll do fine. Also it is good to read other peices of fluff ot see what they are like, and what things they use to ad effect to their wirting. reading Dan Abnett may also be a good dea if you can get a hold of one of his books.