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"WAAAAARRRRGH" bellowed the hulking form of Warboss Grabnutz. He was pretty annoyed. He led a bunch of Rich Ladz, on a never ceasing quest for more Teef, but recently their escapades had ended in humiliation. Grabnutz and his downcast Mob had just returned from a failed attempt to "transfer some ownership" of an Imperial outpost. All they got was dirt in the face and a good smacking. OddBod, Grabnutz's current Mekboy, was killed by a laspistol. A laspistol. The boyz had laughed themselves silly at that. Until the shell fell on ones head...
They shut up pretty sharpish.
So, afterwards, our "hero" Grabnutz was in a mood darker than inside his own trousers, and several of the boys had felt the buisiness end of his boot up there own ends.
Grabnutz spotted a smaller ork, hitting his bike with a choppa to beat some fuel into it.
"OI!" he said, quite loudly as it happened, "youse is gonna be da noo MekBoy, righ' ?"
The ork mumbled something quietly along the lines of "deary me" only a little more explicit.
Grabnutz first challeng to his new Greaser, was to polish up his armour a bit, and touch up the paint job. Grabnutz was proud of his armour, and liked it to be shinier than anyone else. This usually involved alot of sniggering among the more naive orks in the group. It also involved a lot of rolling heads...
The new Mek, called Bamflup, as it happened, yelled for the nearest grot to assist him. This meant he wanted the grot to clean, paint, and work, while he spat occasionally at anything. Including the Grot.
So after an hour or two of this spit and abuse, followed by the odd wedgie, the grot had finished all the neccesary spicking and spanning. Bamflup looked at the armour, and grinned slyly, before kicking a fairly significant amount of dirt into the armour. "You missed a bit!" he said, laughing outrageously at his own joke. At this point a few of the ladz had gathered to watch, grot-baiting being their favorate pastime.
The Grot, however, was not amused. Not amused at all. He also happened to be a complete psycho...
He yelled hysterically and, using the nearest thing to hand, half a spanner, proceeded to whack the living Sh**e out of the happless ork.
The ladz here in tears laughing, which provoked Grabnuts himself to see the fuss. He looked upon the scene to find the Grot still battering the lifless corpse of his protagonist.
"OI!", he yelled, using his favourate word as ever, "you is a grot, you is not wantin' to do dat!"
The grot looked up.
Waving his spanner maniacally, he yelled "I is Noggin da Grot", followed by a string of rude words that actually made most of the orks blush. Then he charged Grabnutz, wielding the spanner two-handed.
He bounced back a meter or so, sending the orks and Grabnutz into fits of hysterics. One ork actually wet himself.
"You is a cocky git! I likes you! You clean my armour, den youse is comin' wiff me!"
From then on, Noggin the Grot had ridden atop Grabnutz's armour in all battles, wielding two magnums, donated by the late Bamflup. Grabnutz thought him to be a lucky charm, as although his string of coulorful words grately annoyed all the enemies around them, Noggin was miraculously never shot once. His Magnums were responsible for the deaths of over 68 Orks to date, during the raids on rival clan outposts. Most of these were some of Grabnutz' ladz, but that made it all the funnier for the Boss. He Proclaimed Noggin to be His "Offishul Lucksy Grot", and charged him with the upkeap of his armour, and the deaths of anyone who got it dirty.
And that is the story of how Grabnutz met Noggin.
Nice to see some Ork fluff, and overall, it's pretty spot on. I like it.
However, and don't quote me on this, since I'm no expert on orks.
Can a regular ork become a mekboy? I always thought there was something a little messed up in their genes which made them meks.
68 Orks! He's not just a lucky grot, he's a god among grotkind! Maybe tone this down a bit.
But that's about it.. Excellent stuff, well done.
The grot is very lucksy
and there have been *alot* of battles
Thats my grounding.
Mekboyz should have an internal instinct on how stuff works, but the one Grabnutz had died, but he saw someone else whacking a bike. Obviosly this ork is skilled in the art of fixin' stuff (to other orks anway! Therefore, to ork logic, he's now a Mek.
That and Grabnutz was hacked off...
So anyone would do really...
I basically wrote it to match with my model, the picture of which is at the top.
NO ork in his right mind would ever take guff from a grot, no matter how funny it was. He would have crushed him like a grot pancake.....or this must have been some strong grot.
Nothing a Battle Cannon Couldnt fix
Thats some awsome fluff you got there, alot better than the usual orc fluff... Funny story good read. I give it 10 hampsters 4 dead mice and 3 shiny bits
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I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were an expert in Ork Psychology.Originally posted by 10101@Mar 10 2005, 03:31
NO ork in his right mind would ever take guff from a grot, no matter how funny it was. He would have crushed him like a grot pancake.....or this must have been some strong grot.[snapback]348593[/snapback]
And when have Orks ever been in their right mind anyway?
Obviously Grabnutz wouldn't of flattened him, as if he did, how did Noggin get on his head? There is a very clear picture to prove it.
I love it. It makes perfect sence. I mean..it happened din' it? If it couldn't happen, it wouldn't happen. Think like an Ork. The model is great too.
And also, there are actual rules that I just found, in the Ork FAQ. Noggin can count as a "Bana Wava" and have a Waaagh banner! (or count as having one, I may model one on at some stage, but maybe his half-spanner would be more characterful )
And also, Grabnutz has only ever died twice in games (out of at least 10 so far), once to a whole Eldar shooting phase wher all the eldar shot him, and the second time in a not-so-serious game where I rolled a 6 for the turbo boosta and decided it would be fun to see what happened to him if say, he drove up to confront the same eldar army again... It was hillarious. That one doesn't even count as I was not using them as Bad Moons, so it wasn't really Grabnutz anyway...
The reference in the FAQ states that only the luckiest of Grots are chosen for the job, and can only be removed as a casualty once everyone else in the unit is dead. This fits in perfectly with Noggin's fluff.
Another reason, Ork stuff only works because they believe it will, unkowingly using their latent psychic powers. ( The whole "red ones go fasta" phenomena), and since Grabnutz firmly believes Noggin to be a lucky charm, he must be!
btw, would anyone be interested in more Grabnutz & Noggin tales?
I've got loads of ideas, but if people will just get annoyed with seeing them I won't bother, but if your interested, let me know, and I'll get posting.
They will all be part of the much bigger story that is the life and eventual death of the pair, but be assured there are plenty of umies, spiky boyz, magiks, sharp gobs, iron 'eads, flat faces, and da uvver ladz for Grabnutz and co. to trounce before they bite the preverbial dust! Which will be the best Ork fiction I ever write should I come to writing it, and of that you have my word.
*caveman buts his hand up at the back of the class
"me boss, me, me me....I wanna hear more tales..............*
fire away Burriss I love to hear a bit of fluff me.
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