My army fluff, is it up to everyone standard? - Warhammer 40K Fantasy
 

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  1. #1
    Member Commander_Knag's Avatar
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    My army fluff, is it up to everyone standard?

    Ive been working on my armys fluff and personality for a while, here is how it goes:
    After the chaos withdrew after the great betrayl the second founding began, one of the newly commissioned chapters, the burning blades was assigned a homeworld and a fortress monastary. A few days later there were reports of a planet harbouring choas activity and the BB's sent their second company to investage and annialate any heretical activity on the planet Evdov V. Upon arrivial it was seen that there was severe activity and the cultists should be executed. while their brethren were being slaughtered the remaining cultists brought a warp storm to surround the planet effectivley sealing the company off from the rest of the world. While the second company was away their home planet was attacked by corrupted IG and wiped out the entire rest of the chapter, exept one. The inquisition destroied the planet to expunge all traces of taint. Decades later the Burning Blades second company emerge tattered from Endov V to find out that their chapter was destroied and that the Chapter master was presumed dead, they are now scouring the galaxy and killing all who try stop them from doing their duty.

    there you have it

    "In a large war, the tanks only battle the tanks, its up to the footsloggers to win the war" -me

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  3. #2
    Member Commander_Knag's Avatar
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    sorry for posting thread twice, computer refreshed
    "In a large war, the tanks only battle the tanks, its up to the footsloggers to win the war" -me

  4. #3
    Member SHANNONISBIG's Avatar
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    Thats not bad, pretty good in fact. heres mine: (if you see mee in forums, im always raving about my army, so try to get used to it!)

    My army is the cadian special forces branch called the Black Berets, they erned thier keep by hunting down the former striking scorpian exarch. the top secret missions that they carry out are baffeling to their victums. the cover story the eldar hierachs used was that Ahrha, the original exarch, at a very young age for eldar, succombed to the entice of slaanesh, but in actual fact was assinated by the black berets. they were shipped off world and secretly infiltrated the exarch's very craftworld. The stelth unit has frequently been called off-world to help with eldar incursions ever since, and as such have become eldar xeno-fighters.
    in almost every match my troopes and i have kikkedASSS!!!! which is why i always crap on about em. :cool:
    ''I AM A BANANA!!!'' -Regected cartoons
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  5. #4
    Member Commander_Knag's Avatar
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    Thats very cool, origional as well
    "In a large war, the tanks only battle the tanks, its up to the footsloggers to win the war" -me

  6. #5
    God's nutcase Xerxes's Avatar
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    A new Second Founding chapter? I'm pretty sure all of them are accounted for. Correct me if I'm wrong. And whose geneseed were they derived from? They weren't created on their own the way "modern" chapters are because it's explicitly stated (admittedly in 2nd edition) that the Grey Knights were the only entirely new creation of the Second Founding.

    And the traitor guard... why did they rebel? What allowed them to win? Almost a whole chapter of marines wiped out by guardsmen? It's almost impossible in fluff terms. Did they have Alpha Legion help? Maybe they were converted by Word Bearers? In essence, why did they revolt and how did they overcome the marines?

    And scouring the galaxy for what?

    SHANNONISBIG, could you please read the pinned notices at the top of the forum? One of them explicitly says "Don't post your fluff as a reply to an existing fluff story."

  7. #6
    Son of LO ze_poodle's Avatar
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    So...they're a second founding chapter, trapped by a warpstorm on a planet of cultists, fortress monastery wiped out by IG...no. If the number of Guard required to wipe out an entire chapter turned traitor, it would be a major event. That would need some big influence. We're looking at around fifty thousand traitors here to take the homeworld. That's ten regiments. Firstly, change the founding date; there are 27 of them, just pick one. Not 13th, as they are all accounted for, and not 21st, as they all died.

    Also, pick a parent chapter. Just pick one.

    How long was 2nd company trapped on the planet? Decades? Why didn't they die out? A daemon world doesn't provide much in the way of sustenance. Warp storms that last for that long generally cover systems and not planets. Plus, a hundred or so marines, taking in casualties from fighting the cultists and from fifty years on a daemon world...they'd be pretty tough. And there wouldn't be many left, and I don't think they'd be able to reproduce. Essentially, once the geneseed is destroyed, the chapter is dead.

  8. #7
    Son of Dorn Sanctus's Avatar
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    I could belive the guardsmen could defeat the chapter but only if something happened like what happened to the Crimson Fists. You know, random missile finds th weak point in the fortress monastarey, but you would think that the designers would have looked at the crimsonfist plans and marked with a big red X not to put weak walls around the ARMORY.
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  9. #8
    Member Commander_Knag's Avatar
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    Okay how about:

    The fortress monastary was still under construction

    There arent many space marines left in the 2nd company after the warp storm, that fits perfectly with my army as it only has 40 men including scouts

    okay okay okay, how about a third founding chapter, and they can come from a mix of blood angel and Imperial fist gene seeds, thus stopping the black rage but still making them forcefully agressive, this was however a prototype transformation and never caught on with other chapters

    The infected impereal guard had help from chaos

    The are scoring the galaxy to look for chaos and their lost commander who is reputed to be still alive

    hope these changes satisy you
    "In a large war, the tanks only battle the tanks, its up to the footsloggers to win the war" -me

  10. #9
    Senior Member sOvereign's Avatar
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    ...there is no 'third founding'...

    How are they a 'mix?' I don't really see how that's possible.

    Don't make tham Ultramarine descendants, theres too many.


    =][=


    EDIT: this seems flaming, but I'm trying to point out mistakes/flaws/anomalies. think constructive criticism!
    Last edited by sOvereign; April 22nd, 2005 at 02:00. Reason: a bit harsh....
    A man's at odds to know his mind, for his mind is aught he has to know it with.

  11. #10
    Pathfinder Edicius's Avatar
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    Doing better. I don't see any problems with the mixing the genseeds as it's been done several times before, but some people might argue it. Not saying you should change it,just be prepared for it. You have a nice oppertunity to develope a relationship between your chapter and the Inquisition. If thier first task was to iliminate a Chaos infested world, there definitely would have been some =][= involvement. You could say that your guys hate the Inquisition for sending them into a fight with not enough intel and causing them to get thier ***** handed to them, or you could say that they have very close ties with the Inquisition due to the bonded they expereinced on the Chaos-infested world. Either way it would be a nifty way to add some character to the army.

    Yuri where do you get there was no third founding. There where 26 of them. O.o

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