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Ok before I give you a first rendition of the first idea, I'll explain a few things.
The chapter was orginally going to be called "Sons of Athena" but I'm not so sure, the name doesn't fit with my ideas now. The following fluff is not my full and complete fluff but an idea, and its rough at that. I haven't looked up who's Chapter Master or Captain names as its rough and just WIP at moment, so that's the behind the 'Chapter Master' and Company Capatain etc you'll see.
I also need a name, though that may come to me.
Anyways, the fluff.
Once a campaign was launched to investigate reports of xeno's influence in the <Insert destination here>, the threat was real. Eldar of the Ulthewe craftworld had 'enlightened' the planets population of the constraints the Imperium placed upon them, these 'enlightened' few soon spread the word and neighbouring planets also began to turn their back upon their protectors, then it came to the ears of the Inquisition. The Witch Hunter strand of the organisation spoke to the Imperial Fists Chapter Master and convinced him to led his support, two full companies were sent to the system to pacify the situation.
Two worlds were cleansed and the Inquisition left people to 'see to' the population, those still loyal flocked to the marines. But on the third world disaster struck, by use of arcane and xeno technology the Eldar turned the fifth company. Once loyal and devout marines, they new turned their weapons upon their brothers; they even slew a high ranking Inquisitor who boarded their flagship to find out what they were up to. They crippled many of the fourth companies ships and fled.
Upon returning to the Chapter Master the Captain of the Fourth company and the highest ranking Inquisitor spoke in secret with the Chapter Master, the Captain wanted to restore the chapters honour by either capturing and returning the renegades or by their destruction; leaving renegade Imperial Fists running about the galaxy would diminish the faith and fear in the chapter and space marines. The Inquisitor spoke they the Witch Hunters also requested such action, some of their own who were supporting the Fifth Company at the time had also turned. Such was the Chapter Masters fate, and his decision was simple; he could not let the Fists seem divided, so the forth company would be released from the Fists and become the hunters of the rogues. A new chapter was born.
The Inquisition also wanted stake in the hunt, under the agreement of the new chapter's leader (forth company's captain) a small retinue of Inquisitors and a detachment of Sisters Of Battle were assigned to the chapter. The Imperial Fists Chapter Master also gifted them with a single unit of the rare and honoured Terminators, the rest of their armament was the fourth company in it's remaining capacity. Taking their strike cruisers they returned to the scene of the crime and began the hunt.
It's pretty much ok, aside from the use of the Imperial Fists. They're an important chapter fluffwise for the whole Imperium, and if some of them went AWOL Terra would be in serious danger, seeing as they form part of its guard force. I also don't think they'd be that willing to let a company bud off and form a new chapter unless they had an unusually high number of recruits, which you don't mention.
Apart from that, it's extremely good. Diverting the minds of aliens is very UlthwÃ©, although I'm not sure exactly how they'd do it and maintain it, and the idea of a penitent crusade and not wanting to stain the chapter's honour are brilliantly fluffy concepts. Good stuff!
Like X, I'm very positive overall. This is cool fluff, filled with interesting ideas.
I don't think it's usual, however, for a bunch of existing marines from one chapter to break off and form another. The fact that it's considered blasphemous to completely repaint a suit of power armour in different colours (hence the deathwatch shoulderpad) seems to speak against this. I'm not too worried in this case, because it's well explained and sounds like a cool abnormality, but I don't think it's the way things are normally done.
Speaking of deathwatch.. I think this ulthwe cult thingie is more an ordo xenos than ordo hereticus situation (though it's very blurry, I'll agree.) Again, I'm not too concerned though. It's believable, and that's what matters.
Last edited by The_Giant_Mantis; April 24th, 2005 at 03:05.