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The Silas Sector has several planets with lush vegatation, and all of the planets have metalic resources galoure. The only reason that they have not turned it into a Forge World is that everything is either a predator, poisonous, or some other way, so they would have to import all the food and the loss in human lives would be enourmous.
This is my first piece of fiction, so there are probably many mistakes. If you can find anything in here that existing fluff says is imposssible, or very unlikely, please post why.
Type: Distress Signal
This is Adeptus Astartes Chapter Blood Angels, planet Silas VIII, |
Class: Scout Outpost | Number: 196 | We have encountered the Tyranid vanguard organism called the Genestealer in great numbers on one of the planets. The Shadow is already falling and help is wanted immediatly, send all help av(message cuts off, presumably because the Shadow has fallen.)
:: Transmission 104573 End::
:: Compiled documentary for why the Red Badgers had to form up with another Imperial Guard Regiment, PLAY ::
:: Imperial cruiser Darken ::
"We have picked up a request from the Silas Sector requesting aid from a Adeptus Astartes contingent called Blood Angels." The computers audio box reported.
"Are there any Imperial Guard forces within three days time of the Silas sector computer?" Inquisitor Lord Killas of the Ordo Xenos asked.
"One moment....the Imperial Guard forces of the Red Badger are within thirty hours of there if they started immediatly"
"Great, get them a message to head to that sector immediately" announced Killas, "We may be able to learn something about the new Tyranid organisms that have developed since we have taken samples."
"Send a message to the Astropath to send a message phrased as thus, "Leave as quickly as possible to the Silas Sector, all personel are ordered to make a file with as much information as possible, bring entire regiment besides small guard, and bring no Land Raiders, Dreadnoughts, Capitol class ships, or anything else not easily replaceable."
:: Planet I of the Fortian Sector ::
"Sir, we have just received an order from a Inquisitor Lord to
bring our forces to the Silas sector" spouted a new recruit as he
ran towards a large man with a Admirals clothing and a red animal on his cap.
"Then give the word to move out and don't waste time about it" said
Admiral Welds, a large man with a broken nose. As he ran off and started shouting
out people were coming out of their tents and packing them up.
Soon everything had been packed up and ships were lifting off
everywhere, they had not thought to question the order of a Inquisitor Lord, so the order, even though there was no explanation, was followed to the letter.
:: Neurological and brain flow data from a soldier ::
As the jets dropped down the the desolate flat open plain on the moon, Zaer couldn't help but wonder if something had gone horribly wrong in the command chain, for the orders had been clear, but when they got here, and while they were getting here, they had lost most of the force. And although they specialized in space combat, getting suprised by an entire Tyranid Splinter Hive was not one of the best things to happen to one. This was supposed to be a simple check for Chaos in the area, for which most of the regiment was attatched, but still, the fact that this regiment probably hadn't even been mentioned, anywhere, meant that they probably weren't even in the top thousand for size. And our name isn't even all that inventive, "The Red Badgers", you would think you would be able to get at least a better name than that, I can think of five off the top of my head! At least they had found a moon on this lush system called the Sarlis sector, so they at least take as many wi-THUD-I guess we've landed then, off we go to be killed by giant c.ockroaches...
:: Information gathered by short documentaries ::
Many Imperial ships were lost in the warp tides before they reached the
system. Only about a fourth of the ships came out of the warp and
many of those were badly enough damaged that they crashed into the
Tyranid ships and were destroyed. The ones that were not sucked
into the warp or destroyed utterly by the Tyranids managed to land
on on of the nine planets or twenty-three moons.
As they left the drop pod, a scene of horrer awaited them. What had looked like a open plain from space and on the sonar, was actualy a plain with twenty foot diameter rocks every fifty feet. Not a great defensive position at all.
:: One documentary ::
We set up with the heavy weapons squads on top of the rocks. The tanks were set to the task of blowing away as much rubble as possible before the Tyranids attacked. The steady BOOM BOOM of the guns blasting away at the rubble was the only sound besides the humming of the air converter. The Vox Caster was set up and trying all available frequencies for help, but all that came back was static or the screaming of men and the clicking of claw and bone on metal.
They came slowly, but as far as we could tell, there were about thirty Screamer-Killers coming our way. We never noticed the Warriors, Genesteealers, and several giant Genestealers untill they were on us, though by that time only ten of the Screamers were left. I was lucky enough to be closest to the Screamers, or there would of been no chance of you getting this, those at the back were slaughtered as the claws ripped vehicles to shreds and talons ripped people in half before the alarms were off. We lost half of our force before we could retaliate successfuly, and then the Raveners were digging up out of the ground while the flying tyranids were dive bombing us. The only reason we survived as long as we did was that the air was thin, and many of the monsters were suffocating. I am hiding inside of a rock I bored out with my Melta Gun, and then melted the top of the passage behind me, I may run out of air but at least (the voice starts to slow), I have little air, and I hope(choking sounds, then silence).
:: Description of Brood Lord and new bio-morphs taken from assorted clips and made discipherable ::
Some of the monsters that are attacking us seem to have strange tentacles instead of mouths, all around those the fighting is brutal and more casualtys are lost on our side in those places than in where they are not. Acid and poison seem to be some of their best weapons, as many of their attacks that don't seem fatal either kill them later or acid burns its way through their bodys. More of the smaller and larger creatures can be seen, and the Warriors are twice as hard to kill. The flying Tyrants and Zoanthropes seem to have gotten tougher as blows that used to of killed them or wounded them are harmlessly disapearing into the warp as they near their targets. The most memorable thing is the giant genestealer, moving with the stealth of one of the smaller ones and the other Genestealers seem to jump in front of it to intercept incoming attacks. The lictors seem to call to the other tyranids, and when they apear more of the others come as well.
:: Documentary, END ::
"So, do you think the sacrafice was worth it, Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor? As you can see, no heresy was involved, and we learned a great deal of information" Inquisitor Killis says, and suddenly, the possibility that a smile might be able to apear on that face happens to come into the minds of many of the people there. "I did after all order that nothing that could not be replaced would go with them, and nothing was being done with the sector anyway."
"Evidence points to the fact that the Inquisitor's decision had nothing to do with heresy, and so all charges have been removed" A large muscular man who looks like he would be better of in Terminator armor than in the light armor he was now wearing. No one noticed the small hole in his neck where the Genestealer had infected him, no one realized that the amount of bio-material gotten from that regiment was almost half a splinter fleets worth, and no one thought it strange that every item on the don't take list was made entirely out of metal.
It sounds pretty good but I am doubtful of the proablility of the plasma gun melting the rock thing. I like the premise of the story though.
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One technical problem I would point out (as I am pedantic), is that interference would not work that way in an Imperial Communication. Your gradual interference e.g.
We have picked up Tyranid lifeforms on the far S()d ()f th()s se()or...
indicates that this message was transmitted as text. However fluff tells us that Imperial Communications do not work this way, communication works by one astropath sending a psychic message to another, and then the receiving astropath chants the message verbatim to a scribe who writes it down. In official 40k fluff, interference is always written as something like;
"We needed help, the commander decided to *illegible*, but the we *illegible*, and it didn't matter, we were out of shells for the remaining serviceable chimeras anyway. We decided to cannibalise them for parts"
Just making sure you're aware.
I'll change it to a Melta gun then.
EDIT: Ah, was not aware of that. The () is breaks in the words since the Shadow of the Warp has not taken the entire sector yet, just the corner that they arrived in, it is in fact in audio(no surround sound though). The Shadow had taken over all but a tiny portion, and this portion was where these were in.
reading the story now. but already there's a few inconsistencies.
The imperium wouldn't bother with such a useless bunch of planets, there's nothing in it for them, save living space. you might want to add that to the description of the Silas Sector, or expand on the useful planets.
I think you'll find that an Inquisitor would have a bit of a hard time condemning someone for the death of thousands when you consider use of exterminatus to stop the spread of Chaos. You might want to expand on the rivalries between him and his second command, to make it look more like an excuse for a coup rather than a moral decision.
If the IG are in a spaceship, why are they in tents?
Refer to the IG's official name when thinking about admin, and let the ordinary troops call it the red badgers.
Your switching between first person, the recording, and the 3rd person is a little confusing. Try to order them up a little, the recording belonging to a separate section etc.
people don't talk to cameras like that while they are fighting. They panic, and scream, and die. It might be better to do a vox recording of several members talking at once, one going crazy, one hiding like a coward, another calling him one, one noticing the bugs are suffocating.
just my 2c.
1. Will changeOriginally Posted by Applebone1
2. Ok, but may I ask what the Exterminatus is? The Inquisitor in this story went Khornish. I have seen in a few places the quote "Khorne cares not from where the blood flows", so I figured as long as it was caused by a Khone worshipper it would still be considered a sacrafice(SP?) to Khorne.
3. They were on the ground, got the message, packed up, and got on the spaceships.
4. Separate Sections here I come.
5. It's one person who thought to hide in a rock and make a recording. Its a one in ten thousand occurance but there were ten thousand people(a small cities worth) on the assorted moon and planet landing sites.
Okay, this is kind of a stylistic point.. But I think the 'chaos inquisitor' thing is a little overused. There are frequent fluff examples of it, yes, but we have to remember that ultimately, even the most radical Inquisitor won't survive long enough to join the organization without a firm, ingrained loyalty to the Emperor. The idea that the chaos gods can just break that loyalty for no reason doesn't really sound right to me.Originally Posted by Hive Fleet Scorpii
Make him a Istvannian instead.. Istvannians are loyalist inquisitors who seek to create threats to the Imperium. They believe humanity pulls together and becomes stronger only through adversity and when under threat.
Alternately, make him an ordo xenos inquisitor who wants to study Tyranid battle tactics/control systems. The death of an entire Imperial guard regiment is really not a significant price to an Inquisitor of sufficient power who believes important goals are being served.
Exterminatus is the elimination of all organic life on a planet using special types of orbital bombardment (Radiation, virus bombing and cyclonic torpedoes are the ones I've heard.)
...and terrified out of his wits, he decided to make a recording to ease his nerves? surely there would be more terrified cowards than that running for it? there would be some sort of story of escape, some survivors dying nearby? It's a complete rout, people don't just fight until they die, they run away. You'll need to expand on the detail of this, this idea is not bad, but it's been rushed.Originally Posted by Hive Fleet Scorpii