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  1. #1
    Senior Member Scuba T's Avatar
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    Jade Dragons fluff

    Im starting a new space marine chapter. Ive got some fluff but maybe you could help out a bit? :unsure:

    The jade dragons are a successor chapter of the salamanders that completely and utterly despise chaos, nurgle in paticular. Their first, and many would say greatest, chapter master was killed in abbadons first crusade. After killing a sorcerer lord of nurgle, a great unclean one took over its body and ripped the chapter master to shreds.

    So now the Jade Dragons are almost as fanatical about destroying chaos as the daemonhunters of the Ordo Malleus. Whenever they are not fighting massive battles, they are pursuing their personal vendetta against nurgle. The Daemonhunters often help these small skirmishes by supplying grey knights to help destroy the forces of chaos.



    Im also making a custom traiturge the Daemon; Zealous: You may include up to 2 grey knights in any command squad in your army at +25 pts. each. they may be upgraded with psycannons or incinerators as normal. Commanders not in terminator armor may take a retinue of up to 10 grey knights. This retinue follows the same rules as the gey knights in the daemonhunters codex.

    So i need a name for the first chapter master, a homeworld and some more fluff if you want to help me.


    Thnx :cool:


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  3. #2
    Member Warmaster Phthisis's Avatar
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    Letsee... its a good start, but in my opinion you need to flesh your chapter history out a bit more, and do some more reading on the fluff to find a good niche for them to slide into easily.

    As for loosing their first chaptermaster to a Nurgle daemon in the 1st black crusade, this puts the creation of your chapter in the 2nd or 3rd founding. As the Salamanders are not a very prolific geneseed, and were utterly decimated in the Heresy, perhaps it would be more believeable for your chapter to be created after the cursed and dark foundings.

    Its good that you picked a favorite enemy for your chapter, as enemies flesh them out more, but its important to remember what being a Space Marine is all about. Chapter Masters die or are mortally wounded quite often, and Space Marines dont hold grudges against particular enemies like that simply because they already hate them. What I think would be more realistic and even more interesting in a literary sense, is that your chapter has a particular hatred for the Lord of Flies because of some dishonor in the past they have to make amends for. For instance, what if the first chapter master was mortally wounded by an agent of Lord Nurgle, and the wound festered but he did not die, and he secretly became an agent of chaos... until some great hero in your chapters past discovered his impurity and smited him. But now you have that shame to atone for by taking revenge on the daemon that infected the fallen master.... Or perhaps a daemon of nurgle has taken particular interest in your chapter for some reason and spends all of his time harassing your chapter, like in the fluff for the master of the grey knights.

    As for you getting to add grey knights to your army, forget it. Your chapter master does not have the authority to command grey knights, nor does he have the authority to requisiton them. Grey Knights are their own chapter and as such do not hand out troops for whichever chapter master demands they provide him a personal bodyguard. Not only that, the Grey Knights have a unique geneseed and no progeny, so there is no way you can claim to be a 2nd founding GK chapter. Their equipment is also unique and other chapters do not have access to their armor or weaponry. If you want to have GKs, you'll have to ally with an army from Codex Daemonhunters like everybody else, and take their own commander and leave them in seperate units. Taking one or 2 GKs is an unfair advantage anyway, giving you all the benefits of a GK army but none of the drawbacks, its powergaming and generally not appreciated.

    As for the homeworld name, I think Jade sounds kind of nice... It would make sense with their chapter name as well.

  4. #3
    Son of Dorn Sanctus's Avatar
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    Instead of having your chapter master killed by a daemon or infected by him I think that it would be neat to have him wounded and because of the infected wound have a great unclean one manifest in him. That would add a little spice to it. I must agree that the GK command squad will not work fluff or gaming.
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  5. #4
    Senior Member Scuba T's Avatar
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    New Fluff!!! Yay

    I have extensively overhauled my chapter fluff with the help of iron man.

    The jade dragons were a company of a thousand separated from their main chapter, the Salamanders, before even all the primarchs had been found. As such, the emperor was not imprinted in their mind as much. Therefore, over time, while the massive warp storm that separated them from their chapter raged on, they began to forget him. Assaulted from all sides by daemons of nurgle, who seemed to have a paticular interest in them, they began to develop their own religion. The people of the planet Jade held dragons in great esteem, and so the space marines renamed their chapter the Jade Dragons.

    After the warp storm finally abated, after thousands of years, the Jade Dragons discovered a galaxy far different from the one they left behind. Because of their newfound religion, many of the Ordos believe them to be heretics, and often try to destroy the chapter.

    After discovering the events that occured during the Horus Heresy, the chapter turned its efforts towards securing a sytem of planets for them to call their own. The Jade system proved ideal, far away from Terra, and already under their sway.

    The people of Jade are tactical and efficent, and strong of body, as the last several hundred years have hardened them considerably, making them ideal space marines. Due to the fact most of their chapter remained intact, their tech-marines skills have not become debased by rumor and "magic."



    Thats most of it, though me and Iron Man have more.

    Thnx for the help

  6. #5
    Member Warmaster Phthisis's Avatar
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    Owl, a good second try, but I think youre straying a bit. This new incarnation of the Jade Dragons fluff is harder to believe than the first set. Chapters are not created by being left behind and forgotten. Those left behind either die out or eventually reunite with their parent legion or chapter. Supporting a new chapter takes an incredible amout of resources, more than even a single planet can supply. They need warships, power armor, weaponry, ammunition, food, fuel, and the most advanced medical facilities the Imperium can muster in order to handle their geneseed and the recruitment of more troops. One war-torn planet is unable to supply them with enough supplies for even one campaign. There is a reason that all renegade chapters are pirates: they have to be to survive. Your "lost legion" would have to turn upon Imperial citizens and take by force what they need to survive, since the Imperium is not officially aware of their existence and will be sending them no support. And piracy is only the option if they have ships available! No ships mean theyre stranded on the planet with no hope and can only wait to die. If the Salamanders accidentally left them behind they almost assuradely wouldnt leave ships behind with the troops. A few hundred troops are easily forgotten in an army of 100,000, but every ship will be accounted for. If they do have ships, even then their existence is still extremely problematic because many of the things they will need to steal are specialized equipment and quite rare. The vast majoirty of imperial merchants carrying armor for the guard will be carrying flak armor, and marines require power armor. Power armor is quite rare. Even if they get lucky, recruitment of new troops is impossible. And that is why so many abandoned and rebel chapters turn to the dark gods, because ones that refuse to dont survive.

    Ok... so, lets forget about all the odds against their survival and give them the benefit of the doubt that somehow they survive, alone and unsupported, for long enough for the Imperium to find them again. Lets predend that somehow they hadnt become pirates and had managed to figure out how to recruit and keep their numbers. When the Imperium finds them, theres the nasty little issue of them changing their name from the Salamanders to the Jade Dragons. That in itself is heresy of the worst sort in the Imperiums eyes, and every loyal chapter in the area will be called to destroy them. And if they retain their Salamanders identity, they will be mustered back into the ranks of the Salamanders or one of their progeny that requires them. Most likely they will be split up.

    Coming up with a DIY chapter can be very rewarding, but getting the fluff right is difficult. Quite a few new Space Marine players try to create a DIY chapter based on highly questionable, if not impossible fluff. I dont know how many times Ive heard some youngblood claim that their chapter was formed by the lost 21st primarch or were made from the Emperor's geneseed, or were one of the unidentified original 20 legions. Their marines are all super-good, and they tell stories about how their armies exterminated large swathes of traitor marines, stuff like a single company annihilating 4,000 traitors in a single battle with no casualties, or killed Abaddon, or killed some chaos god personally. All of these stories make most players who take the time to know the fluff roll their eyes and sometimes take their armies somewhere else in extreme cases where the DIY chapter claims to be able to field Necrons as Elites or want to use special rules for their 21st Primarch HQ or any other strange and impossible and unfair idea. The vast majority of this fluff is designed to gain some kind of advantage in the game, unfortunately, as an explanation as to why they get some super character or unit.

    But when someone tells you about their DIY chapter, and it all makes sense.. Well, then youve found a diamond in the rough. Such a DIY chapter is perfect for campaigns as it has character and lends itself very well to storylines. And good fluff is a badge of honor for a player as well, something that you can recount when you deploy your army and make the other player say "wow" and spellbind them.

    The key to good fluff for Marines is keeping it simple. No primarchs, no strange units, no lost legions, no uber rules, no universe changing destiny. The way to make great fluff is to use the Characters in the army. Create a plotline for their history that is character driven, not situation driven. Think of it this way. Dont write like Star Trek where the strange aliens and super-technology drives the plots and characters are secondary. Write like Dune, where the plot is completely character driven and aliens and technology are coincidental. Works like Dune outsine others in the Sci-Fi genre because the story could happen in any era, its universally human and will appeal to everyone throughout time. The best fluff is where the chapter falls within the bounds of the Codex and the realm of 40k posibility, but where the characters in your legion have struggles within themselves mirrored and punctuated by struggles with aliens and chaos. And most importantly, remember that "Good" is very simple and easy to understand. They do "good" because its the right thing to do, and thats it. But "Evil" is infinitely more interesting, because you have to find a reson your character has abandoned the right thing to do and instead has found their own way. Black and grey characters are a plus in any army! They fit well in the morally grey universe of 40K.

    Bolter and Chainsword has a good set of guildelines to use that any DIY chapter builder would be smart to follow. Here's a link: http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/f...howtopic=65520
    Brush up and try again... and good luck!

  7. #6
    Senior Member Scuba T's Avatar
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    Srry about that. Iron Man was on my comp. so I forgot to switch to my account

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    Senior Member Scuba T's Avatar
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    I think ive got a decent stroy now. Yay!

    The Jade Dragons are a 7th founding chapter of the Salamanders. Their homewold, Jade, and its surroundng systems are positioned very close to the Eye of Terror, and situated very close to the Plague Planet of Moration. As such, they have developed a paticular hatred of Nurgle.

    Because they are constantly assaulted by Chaos, they try to conserve ammo for larger campaigns. They also find ranged combat dishonorable, even though they understand the importance of it. As such, their tactical squads usually are equipped with chainswords and bolt pistols. Their chapter is also understrength most of the time, because of constant assaults by the forces of Chaos, so they try to train their marines extensively in survival tactics.

    Their chapter master, Artemis Ferris, is said to be one of the greatest warriors alive, next to Marneus Calgar and Kayvaan Shrike. After the a massive battle where The Traveller led his full company against the chapter. He, at the time still a sergeant, led his command squad, whose librarian leader was killed, into the heart of the battle and rescued many other space marines from a trap laid by the Death Gaurd. His squad, along with those he rescued, defended the chapter's orbital relay until their techmarine could send a message asking for help from any nearby Imperial forces. They then retreated to their fortrss monastery, where they waited out help. When it arrived, in the form of three full clan companies of the Iron Hands, Artemis led the counter-attack to meet up with the Iron Hands and the rest of their chapter. For these actions, he was elevated to the rank of Captain of the First Company, Master of the Armory.

    He was quickly sent out on a new mission shortly afterwards. He and his command squad infiltrated a Nugle infested fortress to kill a high-ranking chaos sorceror by the name of Viralus Pneumonius. After stalking him for several months, and losing two members of his command squad, Artemis finally had the chance to kill it, and end the infestation of the fortress. In one on one combat, Artemis quickly slayed the Sorceror Lord with one crushing sweep of his thunder hammer. However, in a last act of defiance, the foul sorceror slased Artemis with one of his wickedly sharp fingers, leaving a festering wound hat has never completely healed. During the re-organization of the chapter, he was elevated to the rank of chapter master for his actions, as well as being awarded an Iron Halo.

    Jade is a world made of almost pure jade and emerald, a green planet stained in blood. Underground, however, is a massive forgeworld, supplying the chapter with wargear and weaponry. Due to the chemicals from the forge, the soil on the planet is often corrupted, and spawns hideous monstrosities of plants. The chapter maintains several fortresses across the planet, often spanning 50-100 square kilometres in size. These also provide small havens that provide a small civilian base where the tech-priests and workers live.

    Their gene-seed creates hardy and strong warriors, and only the strongest of the strong can survive its effects. However, those that survive become the strongest warriors of the Imperium.

    If you have anything to add, please share it with me. Im open to some constructive criticism.
    :rolleyes:
    Last edited by Scuba T; July 18th, 2005 at 07:41.
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  9. #8
    Member BolterSmoke's Avatar
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    Two words: Color scheme. Somehting every army needs. Perhaps jade green (obviously), representing not only their heritage (Salamanders) but also fits their name (Jade Dragons) and even goes with their fluff a little. "The green of pus, mold and corruption is rife in this Universe. May the pure, uncorrupted green of the Jade Dragons always be there to stop it."
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  10. #9
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    I think that is good. How ever the rise of your Captian of thhe first company is quite rapid and being captain of the first company usually doesn't make them chapter master however this can be allowed. Maybe say he did some heroic stuff in more than one battle Now i come to think of it he did kind of save the chapters home planet. So yeah that is pretty good for know.

  11. #10
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    Only one problem with this: the statement about Ferris being one of the best fighters in the galaxy. If he was on a par with Calgar and Shrike, then he would be in the memories of many imperial worlds, famed throughout the galaxy etc. Basically he would be in the official fluff if he was that good. But apart from that, I have no complaints with this revamped version.

    Hang on, sorry, I do. Ammo and so on is in short supply, and they live on a Forge World? Seems a bit odd to me. But then, being close to the Eye I doubt the Mechanicus get that much in the way of new supplies.

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