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Ok recently ive been workin on a new Space Marine army & there Chapter history.
with a little help from a friend heres what we've come up with so far.............
+++CHAPTER NAME â€“ Praetors of Guilliman
+++CHAPTER FOUNDING â€“ 17th
+++CHAPTER MASTER â€“ Commander Helixus Damious
+++CHAPTER FOUNDER â€“ Chaplain Cassius, Master of Sanctity
+++CHAPTER GENESEED - Ultramarines
+++CHAPTER HERALDRY â€“ The Praetors of Guilliman wear ice blue armour
with gold trim, white shoulder pads marked with a gold grail symbol
bearing a small white Ultra symbol in the middle of it.
+++CHAPTER HOMEWORLD - The Homeworld of the Praetors of Guilliman
is also the homeworld of Damious himself, a feudal world known as
Mandalore. The world has a population of over 10,000,000 & though
it has natural landscapes & huge cities & a fairly Terra-standard
system the world itself is only temperate for its inhabitants.
The Praetors of Guilliman's base of operations is a huge monastry
like structure known only as Vjunn. It occupies a huge island off
the coast of the most heavily populated continent. The people of
Mandalore are philisophical and militralistic, known for long periods
of contemplation and longer periods of war.
+++CHAPTER HISTORY â€“ The Praetors of Guilliman are a chapter,
created during the 17th founding, at the insistence of a senior
member of the Ultramarines. The Master of Sanctity, Chaplain Cassius,
he beheld a strange and disturbing configuration of the Emperor's Tarot.
It showed the dark Pilgrim, a portent of a terrible invasion, the Man
of Silver, symbolic of the Adeptus Mechanicus & The Ruinous Four.
He pleaded with the High Lords of Terra, and was heard by them.
The Praetors of Guilliman were created to watch over the Western
Quadrant of the Segmentum Quatro. Their chapter master is a proud,
noble warrior named Helixus Damious, born as the prince of a feudal
world, He is a cunning tactician, fierce warrior, shrewd in planning,
but has a hard line view on war.
To defeat an enemy you should crush them utterly, break their bodies
and their spirits. Damious always leads his men from the front, often
being the first marine to touch the ground of a new battlefield, with
the ceremonial sword of Nobility from his homeworld in one hand, & a
artificer-crafted plasma pistol in the other.
The portent that Chaplain Cassius had predicted became more & more
common amonst those with the Gift of the Psyker, and many citizens
of the world became anxious. Then it struck. A great and terrible
Daemonprince following the Chaotic power of the plague lord, Nurgle.
It descended on the forgeworld of Gouhls IV, where the techpriests
were renowned for their devotion in the sacred art of the creation
of Powered Armour. The daemonprince gnawed at the world like a
terrible virus, his worshippers a foul cancer that grew at the very
roots of the great shrine-factories.
They spread across the world like a foul plague, until only a handful
of the larger cities surrounding Gouhls IV were left defendable.
But at last there was a break in the Chaotic Fleet's line, the rotten
husks of the Fiend's starships were cast asunder by the battlebarges
Righteous Fury, Hammer of War and the Excalibur. Each of the huge
battlebarges carried a full company of the The Praetors of Guilliman,
the first, seventh and tenth companies respectively.
As they fell into orbit around the world of Gouhls IV the fleet
immediately sent a huge wave of drop pods down to the surface.
Damious sent them to the last known position of the Mechanicus
troopers, defending the city, deep in enemy territory, to the
estimated location of the Daemonprince Zharr'leth himself.
A titanic battle waged, waves of enemy cultists broke like
turf against the ceramite armour of the Marines. Damious
himself accounted for untold hundreds of dead cultists, his
armour thick with the pestilent gore of Zharr'leth's followers.
The seventh company engaged the Daemonprince's elite guard.
The company fought against equal, if not more of the foul Chaotic
Marines. It is said the steel floor of the grand Shrine-factory of
Gouhls IV was waist deep with blood by the end of it, the Seventh
company all but destroyed.
After breaking the ranks of the cultists, the Tenth and First company
turned and attacked the Chaos Marines head on. A great & terrible battle
occured, & Damious himself destroyed Zharr'leth, suffering terrible wounds
at the hands of the Chaos Follower.
After the battle, the techpriests rejoiced and praised the victorious
Praetors of Guilliman. They took the injured Damious to a nearby monastry
where he & his comrades healed & later returned to battle.
In thanks of their tremendous sacrifice for the Forgeworld, the techpriests
granted the Praetors of Guilliman a large amount of Tactical Dreadnought
armour, effectively doubling the number that the chapter already held.
Ever since, the Adeptus Mechanicus and the Praetors of Guilliman have held
a special respect for one another.
+++COMBAT DOCTRINE - The Praetors of Guilliman prefer ranged combat to
hand to hand combat, often known for there short ranged fire fights, however,
in accordance to the teachings of there parent chapter they also maintain
strong close combat capabilities, to be used only when the situation warrants
it. These elements are prone to being used with greater caution when in the
field, and are generally only committed once the enemy has been wriddled down
by the chapter's firepower to increase the odds of losing the imminent assault.
+++CHAPTER STANDARD â€“ Banner of Guilliman, bearing a depiction of the great
Primarch himself, carried by veteran battle brother Benedictus.
+++BATTLE CRY â€“ â€œFor Guilliman!â€?
Comments & Crits welcome.
Being my usual self, I'm picking bits at random here. They aren't in any particular order.All the Segmentums are accounted for. There's Solar, Pacificus, Tempestus and Ultima. No more. Make it a sector, and it'd fit better.Originally Posted by Kyarl Deathaxe...who read the Tarot? How was this vision manifest? It's a tad vague as it is.Originally Posted by Kyarl DeathaxeIs this meant to be "like surf"? It would make more sense.Originally Posted by Kyarl DeathaxeBut techpriests don't heal people, especially not marines, unless bionics are involved (they could be, but you don't mention it). Marines would go to their apothecarium for mundane healing.Originally Posted by Kyarl Deathaxe
Other than that, good solid fluff!
Pretty cool fluff, I'm quite impressed here.. Just a few minor things caught my attention.Hmm.. I've used planet names from sci fi sources several times when writing fluff, but this is one people are going to recognise and notice, especially since the release of the Knights of the Old Republic series of games made the Mandalorians a fairly mainstream part of the Star Wars universe, I'd advice switching to something a little less well known.Originally Posted by Kyarl Deathaxe
Secondly, Terra in 40k is a blasted wasteland, it's no longer the temperate cradle of life it is today.I spotted this one too.Originally Posted by Kyarl DeathaxeI think you have to be psychic to read the Emperor's Tarot. As a Chaplain, Cassius lacks that particular characteristic. Maybe a Librarian did it for him and told him about it?Originally Posted by Kyarl DeathaxeBattlebarges generally house more than a company (two or three companies I believe.) A strike cruiser can transport a company. This isn't so bad, because they don't have to fill them completely, but it seems wierd that they bought all the battlebarges with so much free space inside.Originally Posted by Kyarl DeathaxeI don't think the Mechanicus keeps large quantities of terminator armour lying around. Maybe they gave them special priority the next time an artificer managed to make some?Originally Posted by Kyarl Deathaxe
Originally posted by The_Giant_Mantis -
Terra in 40k is a blasted wasteland, it's no longer the temperate cradle of life it is today.
Isn't Terra an planet-wide fortress, wall after wall, shield after shield, with many different protections, pshycic enchantments and protections from orbital bombardments?
I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving.
Terras a mixture of immmensely deep Hive City and blasted wasteland, theres one amzing picture in the new 40k rule book depicting a crowded Terran cavern, William Kings Wolfblade also provides an excellent insight into terra and its inhabitants
Terra has long since been a Hive World. Read the rulebook, it makes reference to 'the oceans of terra boiling away' and the 'heavily polluted atmosphere. I'd make your world 'Class A', which I'm sure is the Adeptus Mechanicus classification for inhabitable.I didn't think you had to be psychic to read it...I'm sure I've read some GW books where non-psychic Inquisitors have read the Tarot, I can't think of a specific example at the moment though.Originally Posted by Giant MantisHa, I'm quoting Mantis again and not the author. Battlebarges hold up to 4 companies. Strike cruisers hold a single company. So I'd perhaps make this a single battlebarge escorted by Strike Cruisers, makes more sense when you consider the numbers involved.Originally Posted by Giant Mantis
The tenth company seems a little out of place in a battle against nurgle. Without the extra protection of power armor wouldn't they fall to diesease much faster than a normal marine and therefore not be very effective against Nurgle?
<(^^)> <(^^<) (>^^)> ^(^^)^ Dance Kirby! Dance!
Sanctus has a point.Scouts and Veterans........an odd combination.After breaking the ranks of the cultists, the Tenth and First company
turned and attacked the Chaos Marines head on.
I could be wrong.. The source I based that conclusion off was a 2nd edition book which described learning to read the Tarot as part of the psychic training for a space marine librarian. The same source also made it seem like one of the battlefield roles of a librarian was to read the tarot and advise his commanders.Originally Posted by Addoran
However, I might have misread the subtext there, or it might have changed or been contradicted. 2nd ed was a long time ago, after all.
Bingo.. Witch Hunter Tyrus is described as using the Emperor's Tarot to divine the guilt of captives, despite not being a psychic. I always thought it was a psychic aid, myself, but it seems perhaps I'm wrong.. maybe it is just like a modern day set of tarot cards.
Whether it actually works for non-psykers is another matter, of course..
[QUOTE=The_Giant_Mantis]Bingo.. Witch Hunter Tyrus is described as using the Emperor's Tarot to divine the guilt of captives, despite not being a psychic. I always thought it was a psychic aid, myself, but it seems perhaps I'm wrong.. maybe it is just like a modern day set of tarot cards.
The way I've always understood how the Emperor's tarot to work from the BL books that I've read, is as a playing deck for the common soldiery, and as a tool for foreshadowing for the common soldiery.
But in the hands of a trained psyker, they are able to divine actual futures from the cards. Reason I say futures is as just with modern day psychics and their tarot decks there are multiple interpretations and possibilities.
"They are my space marines and they shall know no fear, for they are fear incarnate." ~ Konrad Curze (Night Haunter), Primarch of the Night Lords Legion
"Adeo mori servus Imperator Fictus
Ave Dominus Nox" (So die the slaves of the False Emperor. Hail to the Lord of the Night.) ~ Talonmaster Zso Sahaal [Lord of the Night, p.68]