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  1. #1
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    Please rate my chaos chapters fluff

    Scions of Aquarius
    History

    The Scions of Aquarius was a founding chapter of Raven Guard not too long after the Horus Heresy. The Chapter master Glivion, who was able to send and receive psychic messages. The newly formed chapter worshipped Poseidon on the same level as the emperor. The Inquisition, seeing this, warned the chapter to not worship Poseidon as much as the emperor. This made the chapter angry and this is said to the point where their corruption started. This angered the chapter so much due to the fact that all the initiates were natives of Atlantis, who were deeply religious about Poseidon. One day Glivion was said to have gotten a message from Poseidon and gave this Speech.

    “This Imperium is a filthy lie. Today I received a message from the almighty Poseidon, revealing the true form of the emperor. The almighty water God has revealed to me that the Emperor is no longer alive, but is dead. The Inquisitors are just using him to control the rest of mankind. Not only this, but Poseidon has chosen us to Rule this universe. He has told me the best way to do this is to worship the chaos gods as well, for it will give us unimaginable powers. Now let us go forth brothers, and rule the world!�

    At the end of the speech every single one of the marines yelled out in cheer, thus starting the chapter’s new beginning. Not only did the whole chapter revolt, the whole planet revolted and is where the Scions will get members.

    Recruitment
    This chapter has 3 rigorous tests.
    1. The first thing that they have to do is swim all the way across atlantis within 3 days.
    2. To be apart of this chapter they have to be able to ride the chapters enhanced bikes and go threw a course and pass it on their first try.
    The final test is all the survivors of the first test all chained to the bottom of the ocean and must free themselves.

    compliments and advice please.


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  3. #2
    Senior Member deversnik's Avatar
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    inept.

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    whats that mean?

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    Senior Member Xiahou Dun's Avatar
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    Inept
    adj.

    1. Not apt or fitting; inappropriate.
    2. a. Displaying a lack of judgment, sense, or reason; foolish: an inept remark.
    b. Bungling or clumsy; incompetent: inept handling of the account.


    I think the problem is simply that after the Horus heresy all new chapters were rigorously tested to make sure they were free from the taint of chaos. I'm pretty sure that "yeah we all worship a god called poseidon, the emperor's cool and all but we still do poseidon tells us" would set off a few alarm bells.

    I'm not so sure about this but i don't think that inquisitors ever kept the death of the emperor from space marine chapters.

    Also at the end you say that the whole planet revolted. If that had happened imperial forces would undoubtedly have been sent in to deal with it. It's possible that the rogue chapter could escape that but there is no way they're getting members from there anymore.
    "You challenge me knowing that I am Xiahou Dun!?"
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    ANY chapter can be tainted by chaos. Look at the chaos codex....GW created a renegade crimson fists for gods sakes. and my chapter can deal with imperial forces that try to attack them. The imperium does not know about their underwater bases.

  7. #6
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    Yeah but going from worshipping an Ancient Greek diety (what?) to worshipping the Emperor and then chaos and sorry I think this background is all over the place.
    "God is dead" Nietzsche- 1886
    "Nietzsche is dead" God- 1900

    Why are there scams? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q71FLDIMBc8

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    let me clear your mind. They used to like the emperor and poseidon. They started worshiping chaos as a pantheon so they could get more power. They always have and Always will worship poseidon. This poseidon is gonna be different from the greek one. I'm gonna give the chapters look on him soon so he will have a more 40kish theme.

  9. #8
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    377 (x8)

    How did the population of the planet survive the Imperium viral bombing the planet and infecting if not just burning off all the water?

    Is this Posdien meant to be an actual god?
    "God is dead" Nietzsche- 1886
    "Nietzsche is dead" God- 1900

    Why are there scams? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q71FLDIMBc8

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    yes. I was thinking of maybe making him a minor chaos god. although the chapter wouldn't know that.

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    And the problem of the Imperium destroying all life on the planet?
    "God is dead" Nietzsche- 1886
    "Nietzsche is dead" God- 1900

    Why are there scams? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q71FLDIMBc8

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