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Rogue-Angel · February 21st, 2006, 23:45

http://uk.geocities.com/marijn_hooge...ardragons.html

There are 3 articles there; the top one is a dark-angels thingie. The other two are about my space marine chapter; the Star Dragons. What do you think? Any changes that should be made?

Deek · February 22nd, 2006, 02:38

It is pretty goodd, ( hard to read though ) it is not much fluff as it is a battle record, you know what I mean. Now that planet that they saved that was not their home world, so what is and how did they get there. You say they are close to the Dark Angels, understandable and worship their primarch almost as much as the emperor. Interesting but in the fluff I don't think that the space marines would be so overconfident to say that they will purge the planet in one night. I mean come on they have to fight Nids theres a lot of them and the plague marines not an easy task.

Grand Master Belial · February 22nd, 2006, 03:20

Not to mention the shear size of a planet. How could one thousand marines cleanse a planet like Earth in one night?

Though there is nothing as to how they got to know about the Fallen Angels. Oficially it sticks to the Dark Angels and the three Second Founding Chapters. No one else knows about the Fallen save the Emperor.

This means that a tale of discovery is needed.

Rogue-Angel · February 22nd, 2006, 10:04

True, true, there's still a lot missing. But I'm working on that; I've had little time to actually write stuff (and that battle report thing was the first 40k thing I ever wrote)...

Anyways, more will be added in the future, I promise you. Any tips for what I should add?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deek

Now that planet that they saved that was not their home world, so what is and how did they get there.

Well, they WERE a fleet-based chapter, but they were assigned Draconis IV (the planet from the battle) as their new homeworld after they cleansed it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deek

Interesting but in the fluff I don't think that the space marines would be so overconfident to say that they will purge the planet in one night. I mean come on they have to fight Nids theres a lot of them and the plague marines not an easy task.

That's true... I edited that. 3 days sound better?

dicegod · February 22nd, 2006, 11:03

I could be wrong but are the nids not positioned at the other side of the galaxy then where the EOT lies. Also I would like to read how the masters and such get there position.

I would take another picture as background for you site because it was very difficult to read.

Nice story anyway.

February 21st, 2006, 23:45	#1 (permalink)
Rogue-Angel Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: netherlands Age: 23 Posts: 733 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 68	Star Dragons: My chapter's fluff <a onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview ('/outgoing/http_d1_openx_org_ck_php_n_a83f474f_amp_cb_46587945173');" rel='nofollow' href='http://d1.openx.org/ck.php?n=a83f474f&cb=46587945173' target='_blank'><img src='http://d1.openx.org/avw.php?zoneid=22572&cb=46587945173&n=a83f474f' border='0' alt='' /></a> http://uk.geocities.com/marijn_hooge...ardragons.html There are 3 articles there; the top one is a dark-angels thingie. The other two are about my space marine chapter; the Star Dragons. What do you think? Any changes that should be made? __________________ "I have died a thousand deaths, and I will die a million more..."

February 22nd, 2006, 02:38	#2 (permalink)
Deek Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beecher Illinois Age: 21 Posts: 951 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 60	It is pretty goodd, ( hard to read though ) it is not much fluff as it is a battle record, you know what I mean. Now that planet that they saved that was not their home world, so what is and how did they get there. You say they are close to the Dark Angels, understandable and worship their primarch almost as much as the emperor. Interesting but in the fluff I don't think that the space marines would be so overconfident to say that they will purge the planet in one night. I mean come on they have to fight Nids theres a lot of them and the plague marines not an easy task. __________________ Necorn Work In Progress Click Link http://www.librarium-online.com/foru...ml#post1356774

February 22nd, 2006, 03:20	#3 (permalink)
Grand Master Belial Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Bethlehem, USA Age: 31 Posts: 269 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 48	Not to mention the shear size of a planet. How could one thousand marines cleanse a planet like Earth in one night? Though there is nothing as to how they got to know about the Fallen Angels. Oficially it sticks to the Dark Angels and the three Second Founding Chapters. No one else knows about the Fallen save the Emperor. This means that a tale of discovery is needed. __________________ Check out my Fallen Dark Angels Story The Fortress of the Unforgiven

February 22nd, 2006, 11:03	#5 (permalink)
dicegod Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Netherlands Age: 20 Posts: 738 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 61	I could be wrong but are the nids not positioned at the other side of the galaxy then where the EOT lies. Also I would like to read how the masters and such get there position. I would take another picture as background for you site because it was very difficult to read. Nice story anyway. __________________ Don´t mess with the dicegod

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