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I'm creating my own Chapter of Smurfs, largely to aid in a short story I'm writing and also partly because I want to do something with the Marines I got in the n00b painting set. I've been through the Codex and the Index Astartes books as well as a fair few online fluff sources, and there's a few things I want to clear up.
The Chapter are called the Mercian Dragoons, and in game-terms I want to make them assaulty as all get-out and a bit mad and yobbish to boot. My idea is to have them either as a stand-alone Chapter (i.e not a successor to any of the original Legions) or, if that's impossibly unfluffy, then a successor Chapter who still revere their Primarch but are so far removed from their mother Legion as to bear no resemblance whatsoever (in this case I'd either want to base them on the Raven Guard or Space Wolves). They are recruited largely from their homeworld Mercia, a small, beligerent world which capitulated to Imperial rule largely because their technology was medieval when the Imperial Guard landed there 300 years ago, and no matter how bad lasguns are you won't beat them with spears and archers, although the Mercians gave it an almighty go. I want them to have a White Scars type relationship with their homeworld; they watch over it, protect it, but don't interfere too much with the day to day working of it and "discourage" anyone else (Inquisition etc.) from doing so, preferring to have it's people as feudal warriors who are forced to survive a harsh life so that they can be sure those they recruit are tough as nails. They are fairly moderate in their beliefs and attitudes, although they hate pretension and secrecy. They're none too fond of the Dark Angels either, since they requested the aid of the Lion's brood during a recent campaign and were given short shrift. Alien-wise they dislike the Tau intensely; they see them as a race full of pretension, and the Tau have themselves made several incursions onto Mercia in an attempt to bring the Mercians into their fold, each time being driven off and chased a good distance by the Dragoons. The Deldar also seem to like picking on Mercia and as such the Dragoons are none too fond of them either; however, they have received aid from the Craftworld Eldar, those of Saim-Hann in particular, on several occasions, and will repay the favour if ever given the opportunity. Their relationship with the Inquisition is strained at best; they view the Emperor as mankind's last, best hope for survival in the galaxy and as such follow the orders of his representatives diligently when it comes to battle, but refuse to worship him as a god, and refuse to let the Mercian people do so either. They've turned away a hell of a lot of preachers and ministers, leading some to believe that they are actually encouraging some form of unauthorised worship among the populace. The Ordos Xenos and Hereticus are both ferverently investigating the Dragoons, however they maintain a healthy relationship with the Ordo Malleus; having supplied troops to the Inquisitor Lord Raul FĂșser (my Inquisitor Lord HQ for my Daemonhunters force ) their reputation within that organisation is solid, and FĂșser has spoken in their defence to the Inquisition on many occasions as well as having used his influence to ensure that whatever transgressions the Xenos and Hereticus uncover are mitigated to such an extent that they can be overlooked easily enough.
That's what I've got so far, feedback and comments would be appreciated ^^
Sounds good though all Space marines come from the gene seed of a founding Legion originally. I would have them a successor of the White Scars, though they now have little in common with white scar organisation.
Not bad as far as Space Marine backgrounds go. I would advise against using the Raven Guard or Space Wolves as your primogenitor (chapters of origin) chapter. There has only ever been one Space Wolves successor chapter and it failed horribly. As for the Raven Guard, their geneseed is quite badly debased and so it would be pretty tricky if you chose to use them. You could try if you like, just bear in mind that Raven Guard successor chapters are very, very rare. I'm curious about Space Marines willing to repay a debt to an alien, especially the Eldar, but it could happen, I suppose. And I sincerely hope you're not intending to call them the Deldar in the final version of the fluff
Well there are a few things that cant happen. 1 they have to be a successor chapter. 2 all successor chapters give fealty to their original legion. 3 if they dont worship the emperor they are heritical. 4 if they dont worship their primarch then the chapter they came from will be very very angry. 5 they need to show some sign on their armor to which chapter they came from.
But other than that good fluff i would like to see some of these marines after their done. Also looking forward to see a finished story
i dont mean to flame if it sounds like that. Very good so far.
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1. If by successor you mean they were made from the geneseed of an earlier chapter (not necessarily in the 2nd founding) then yes.
2.Nope, tons of chapters have no idea who their original legion was, besides if they gave fealty to them, it would defeat the purpose of breaking up into chapters.
3.Again no. Lots of chapters venerate the Emperor as the greatest human of all time, but do not consider him a god.
4.No. Again many chapters don't know who he was anyway, and there are plenty that do and don't particularly worship him.
5.Whilst a general trend this is no way, manner or form a rule.
Heathen: I'd change the time since their homeworld was conquered if I was you, 300 years is rather short in 40K terms (where had they been living beforehand for one thing). Also it would be an odd chapter that would honour a debt to an Eldar but some might.
Apart from that, pretty good
Revenge is a dish best served with mayonnaise and those little cheesy things on sticks.
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Sounds great. The thing with Saim-Hann is more or less beliveable, only pehaps a minor re-phrasing is in order. Marines tend to be pretty Xeno-phobic, though probably less than the administratium. I'm not entirely sure if friendship with aliens would be tolerated. It would be very plausable that they resprect them greatly as warriors and foes, and maintain a battlefeild relationship, much as the ANZACs and the Turks did in Gallipoli.
Barring that, it sounds great.
Thanks for all the feedback, I've had a look through it and made a few changes:
Emperor/ Primarch Worship - The Dragoons have no idea whose gene-seed they're using and their original Legion is all but forgotten. Their recruits are drawn from the yeoman knight caste of Mercian society, who live by a strict martial code similar to the code of chivalry or bushido, and as such this is a huge influence on the Chapter's combat doctrine and general belief system. Their beliefs are largely aethist, they believe there are only 2 things certain in life, birth and death, and anything else inbetween is controlled by the individual and shouldn't be ascribed to any higher powers since there is no power higher than a man's free will; there is no afterlife or beforelife or anything else, this life is all there is and so it's got to be made to count. As far as the Emperor goes, they see him as a legendary warrior of strength, courage, intelligence and honesty, all traits they respect, and also see him as the one true hope for the survival of Mankind. As such they have no problem swearing fealty to him and carrying out whatever orders he sees fit to dish out; in Mercian terms he's their feudal lord, they fight for him instead of paying tithes and in return he keeps the species alive. However, since they don't believe in gods or heavens or anything like that, they don't worship him as a god and discourage the populace from doing so feeling that it would soften up the carpe-diem mentality that has driven them to great feats of military prowess in the past.
The Homeworld, I'm not sure what you mean by renaming it; you mean change it to something a bit more Gothic-sounding? I dunno, the Chapter is supposed to be based on the British warriors of the divided kingdoms (hence Mercia ^^) and so changing the name of the homeworld to something Latin-y might ruin the illusion a bit.
As far as the debt to the Eldar it goes something like this. The Dragoons do not like the Eldar. They're arrogant, they've got pretentions of grandeur when all they are is a scattered, dwindling race of aliens. They're physical weaklings and psyker gun-merchants who'd rather stand around like apes pulling triggers than actually do some real fighting, and when they're forced to stand eye-to-eye they send in their females. In terms of respect, the Dragoons have more for the Orks since they'll actually get stuck in with the choppas and fists. They're basically abhorrent in the Dragoon's eyes; however, the Saim-Hann saved the Dragoons' 7th Company from annahilation at the hands of the Tau, and according to the Code that is a debt that must be repaid. They're not proud of it (being saved from one race of pretentious weaklings by another race of pretentious weaklings chafes the old martial pride a bit ^^) and they're not going to go out of their way or compromise themselves or the Imperium to honour the debt, it's purely a warrior thing; if it means they leave a few structures standing or one male and one female alive instead of smashing the entire Saim-Hann Craftworld to dust, that means odds are even in the Dragoons' eyes.
It also might be worth mentioning that they're completely non-Codex; they're taking two advantages and two drawbacks, and their Companies are going to be named along the lines of the Space Wolves (I haven't decided on that yet, need to do a bit more research ^^), plus their stock of vehicles is pathetic.
And no, I'm not going to call them the Deldar in my finished draft
Last edited by Heathen; March 6th, 2006 at 12:28.
If you want a further twist why not have the 7th comnpmany digraced by being in debt to the eldar and are on their own mini crusadee of penitence.
I was thinking about that; I want each company to be organised in such a way that they're all able to operate independantly (i.e each company is like a mini-Chapter with it's own contingent of Scouts, Veterans, Terminators, vehicles etc.) so they could each carry out their own crusades and the suchlike if they felt like it, but since I'm not basing them on the usual quasi-religious model of a Space Marine chapter I'd rather not have them "crusading" or "paying pennance". I was also thinking of calling the 7th Company "Thralls of Samhain" to reflect the fact they owe their lives to the Saim-Hann ^^.
just a thing, and no I don;t mean to flame you.
Space Marine are psychos when it is about xenos (eldar and other aliens).
They well, kill them on sight, and maybe not kill them when there are more important things to kill, but will eventually go back to kill the saim-hann.
Maybe some bound has to be made, or the chapter doesn't get psyhic training. Other than that, it will be really unlikely to show off something as dishounarable as renaming a company as an eldar savior. That would be laughed about by other marines (and probably seen as heretic in inquisitor ways.)
Nice story though,