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I tried to write some fluff for my newly created chapter, the Hekau Chasut, I would be happy about some comments on it. Their is an example for the colour scheme in the gallery, though I added some details by now some comments on them would be nice as well. :yes:
Subject: Origin of the chapter of the Hekau Chasut
“Heresy results from cowardice, the primary vice of Generals” Seth, Chapter Master of the Hekau Chasut
Primary aim of „Clemens Imperatoris” was to analyse the sudden abandonment of contact to Thebes V, a γ-category planet in the Segmentum Pacificus. Since the crusade of Donian was the closest to Thebes V at that point of time, a small legation got the mission to examine this incident, while the crusade continued its mission to decimate the Ork-population of the Donian-sector and the surrounding sub-sectors of the southern Segmentum Pacificus. Brother Austin, the Marshal of the crusade, detailed a small contingent under the lead of Brother Seth to fulfil this quest. The unconventional Veteran Sergeant of an Assault Squad took this opportunity to be free of the conservative rule of Austin.
After the Imperial Strike Cruiser Apocalypton had relocated them to Thebes V the capital was the first to be checked by the Scouts. Biban el Muluk was a big city with about 10 Million inhabitants. The whole city was in good conditions, excepting the fact that no single inhabitant was found and the technology was inoperative. Even though the Techmarines and Servitors tried to fix the transmitters they failed.
Further investigation detected populated areas all over the planet that had not been wiped out, but in fact had not the needed equipment to build up a connection to another occupied planet. The reason for that occurrence was detected when a Scout Squad detected an energy source under one of the bigger administrative buildings. They were ordered to wait for a Techmarine to arrive, when suddenly the ground began to tremble and a huge crevice opened in front of them. They identified the approaching Xenos as Necrontyr before the connection broke up. Brother Seth decided to ambush the enemy instead of risking high casualties because of a frontal attack. The plan was a complete success, the Xenos were vanquished and losses stayed acceptable.
The source of energy located under the crack remained constant and Seth decided to lead the exploration on his own, while the main part of the army stayed overhead to ensure a fallback position for the Assault Squad. Seth managed to locate the source and identified it as a Necron basis below ground. The extension was too big to be calculated and the only possibility to resume Thebes’ security was to exterminate the basis. Using their melter bombs they sabotaged the reactor and gave the Army the order to eliminate any Necron trying to leave the underground. Having placed the bombs Seth and his squad hurried to be able to enjoy the fireworks from a safe distance. They built up a circle of defence around the crevice and detonated the explosives. After the reactors sure destruction, proved by a crater situated around the former reactors position.
Having lost the last possibility to regain contact to the empire Seth decided to build up a mission and wait for an imperial patrol to find them.
Two decades passed and during the years Seth transformed the Marines into an autonomous chapter. Rearranging the chapter’s colours to the conditions of Thebes V was the last step to create this new chapter whose name “Hekau Chasut” can be translated from the local language of the new adepts into “Desert Lords”. Seth reorganized the chapter for his own purpose. The sergeants became much more freedom; they are allowed to choose their soldiers from the applying adepts. For this reasons many squads do not have the usual size, but stay under full size until the sergeant finds the Marines he searched. The organisation of the companies is comparable to the possibilities of a sergeant. The Captain decides on which sergeants he wants to allow becoming part of his company. This results in a great variation in the companies’ size. The Terminators are part of the any company, like all kinds of squads and vehicles. The first company, under the lead of Seth himself only consists of some elitist warriors commanding the whole chapter. The chapter’s stronghold is situated on the biggest continent not far from the former city of
Biban el Muluk, which stayed a Necropolis. The different companies spread all over the planet. Their location can be identified from their companies colour. As time proceeded Librarians established in the rows of the chapter and the tradition of the Champion of the Imperator became less important.
Starting to miss the squads the empire sent a patrol to examine the actual situation of Seth and his forces. They found them having configured a whole chapter of partly badly equipped, but well trained soldiers. The order was rearmed, but the Inquisition started to analyse the chapter’s historical background and suspected heretical influences to be the reason for the chapter’s formation. This lead to a clash with a puritan Inquisitor, who wanted to exterminate the chapter to prevent a conversion to the forces of chaos. The fifth company defeated the Inquisitor in the ruins of Biban el Muluk. Later the Inquisitor was unmasked to be in a close relation to a greater daemon. The Hekau Chasut were honoured for their “Intervention” and were accepted as a chapter, which from now on should be based on Seth genes.
Extract from the Liber Honorus
Chapter of the Hekau Chasut, Legion Astrates
Last edited by Hekau Chasut; June 8th, 2006 at 14:38.
Despite a few odd syntax errors it's written well enough,(then again I'm the last person who should be giving people advice on grammar) a few issues fluff wise though. For one it seems kind of odd that an assault squad sarge, especially one whose methods are viewd as "unorthodox" would be given command of enough forces to build a whole new chapter. I can see leading a small strike force,which is I think what you meant for the force to be, but that brings us back to the impossibility of a small strike force becoming a whole new chapter. If I read the story correctly it goes like this.
Imperial contact is lost with a planet, a passing BT crusade sends a small strike force down to investigate then gos speeding off to fight more orks. The strike force,completely on it's own and for some reason abandoned by the crusade in the middle of it's investigation descovers Necrons have killed the entire population.Now the strike force discovers that the only way to get rid of the 'crons is to blow up thier only means of off planet communication, whichs is fine because most SM would be like "Well blow the damn thing up!". I understand that after that they're pretty much stuck on the planet and most chapters under those circumstances would be looking to settle down,fortify themselves,and replace thier losses if possible, but you already eliminated the enitre population.
See the problem here? Where do the recruits come from? For that matter how does a small strike force have the rescources to build and mantain a whole new chapter? Also we go about the whole buisiness of thier commander, who remember was just a vet sarge,taking it upon himself,without proper authorization, to completely abandone his chapter ( a gross dishnour by Space Marine standards by the way ) and found a whole new chapter,to command as he alone sees fit. That sounds an awful lot like Heresy to me.When the BT's eventualy came back and saw this guy parading around,calling himself "chapter master" with his own colours painted over the sacred colours of the Templar,I'd say they'd be more than just a little upset.I'd be suprised they'd let him live long enough to explain the circumstances of his self-promotion.On a final note you have the gene seed stick comming directly from Seth himself. This,again,is a great Heresy. Only geneseed from the Mechanicus approved Primarch stocks on Mars and Terra can be used to create chapters.
Thanks for helping.
I'm sorry for my English; in fact it's only some English I learned at school and a dictionary...
This "everyone is sooo honourable" style of GW is great, but pretty hard to write! :wacko:
Mostly you got it, but you got me wrong in some cases.
Not the entire population of Thebes V is dead, only the entire population of its capital
There are some colonies around the capital whose size I did not mention. "Further investigation detected populated areas all over the planet that had not been wiped out"
The older Space Maine Codex tells about one year adepts need to become Space Marines.
I gave them at least twenty years, but maybe that's not enough. Do you have any recommendations how long it would take to get some kind of minimum, maybe one company or something like that? Space Marines can be sure to be supported by the planet's population (usually) and the rest of the planet did not have the possibility to build up a connection to Terra, but to support the Space Marines with (technical) goods.
Moreover the Inquisitor, thinking they adore the C'tan, could attack them to avoid this heresy. After this the Mechanicus could allow Seth to create the chapter from his gene seed and I'm sure Brother Austin would not be upset about losing Seth...
Is this enough to make the story more believable?
It's pretty damn good, but generally chapters don't get created from existing marines form other chapters. Once you're an Imperial Fist, you're an Imperial Fist for life.
Also, the 'chaos inquisitor' thing is a bit cliched. Inquisitors do fall to chaos sometimes, sometimes radicals just go a bit too far and lose sight of the objective, but it's used way too much in fluffland. Inquisitors are some of the best individuals humanity has to offer, superbly disciplined, loyal and skilled. They're probably less likely to fall to chaos than almost anyone else in the Imperium.
Ok, so I still have to correct some mistakes.
Would it be more believable to make the Necron/ explosion of the reactor kill the entire strike force, but Seth and his Squad, because they had to hide in a hollow to avoid being either detected or vaporised by the explosion.
After this incident the empire could decide to make a new chapter protect and observe the planet. To honour the only survivors they could become the new commando Squad of the chapterâ€™s first company. To make this more believable the Squad would have to be at least a Sword Brethren Squad equipped with jump packs from the very beginning. So only these few would have to convert, what as far as I know is not unusual, or am I wrong?
Thanks a lot so far.
its a really small one. . .but is this a first founding chapter? because if it isnt why is their a primarch? I mean it could be, GW left to unamed for this reason, but all chapters after the original FOundings are derived from the geneseed of one of the original Chapters. . . so. . .do you see my point?
Ooops... I thought the new Chapter Master's gene seed was used to build up a new chapter. Is anyone sure about that? Would the chapter use the gene seed of Seth, Helbrecht/Sigismund (1st BT Chapter Master???) or Rogal Dorn?
They would use Dorn's seed. Becasue it was his geneseed that was used by the emperor to create the Imperal Fist. And Sigismund was the Dorns first captin and the first Emperor's Champion, and becasue of this he was given the honor of become the first High Marshal of the Black Templar.
For the Emperor, For Dorn, and For Sigismund.
No Pity! No Remorse! No Fear!
Â«Ares is the only way to be happy.Â»
Know Arise a Knight, and go forth and take your vengence
Dont let it get you down though, GW left two chapters off when they created their list of original foundings, everyone argues on what chapters they are ( some say the GK or Flame falcons. . . but what a load lol) but the truth is GW left them blank for people such as your self to create their own Primarchs
Originally Posted by Toeko
True, but that's generaly frowned on by most dedicated fluffophiles because it's an easy out when it comes to writing fluff. It's far too overused and lacks creativity. I mean how hard is it to write
They're one of the missing Legions.