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k, fix for problems/believability/any mary sues:
Commander name (gonna change - anyone know cool Tau words?): Firstlight
Original Sept: Vior'la
Ta'lissera buddies: None - they all died.
Current Sept: Ksi'm'yen
Commander Firstlight was trained in one of the finest Fire Warrior academies on Vior'la. She was never one of the more successful students and her instructors didn't have high hopes for her.
She eventually left the academy and became part of a cadre that performed seemingly pointless tasks. Much of her time in the military was spent guarding small, undesirable worlds from nonexistant enemies. In her first four Tau'cyr, she only saw battle three times. However, she had thus far proven herself to be an able warrior despite her performance in the academy at Vior'la. She took the first Trial by Fire and joined the ranks of Shas'ui, part of a Stealth team.
Firstlight and her team were relocated to the frontier world of Ke'lshan, constantly under assault from various alien races. After four successful years of defending this planet, she took her second Trial by Fire, was promoted to Shas'vre, and began leading her stealth team into its battles. One of these battles, however, was not so successful. A group of Imperial Guard, living on the fringe of the empire far from the influence of the main section of the Imperium invaded Ke'lshan. Unprepared for this sudden assault, Firstlight's entire cadre was wiped out, she being the only survivor. Even her stealth team, bonded to her through the Ta'lissera, was lost. She managed to hide from the Imperials for almost fifty decs until a backup cadre of Tau fighters arrived to fight them off. While the Imperials were engaged from the north, Firstlight was able to quietly move into position south of the enemy army and swiftly dispatched one of the powerful Basilisks. Having distracted the guardsmen, she once again escaped into the forests, chased by roughrider teams. During this distraction, the main part of the Tau cadre was able to finish off the remainder of the Imperial force and track down Firstlight.
After the battle, an Ethereal viewed her suit's visual records and was greatly impressed by her actions. She was promoted to Shas'el, and was allowed to don an XV-8 battlesuit while she led a cadre during the third sphere expansion. Her cadre played a noteable part in the capture of Ksi'm'yen, and several rumours of her victories arose after the main conflict. Some Tau claimed that at one point, her team had come under fire of several Space Marine Tactical squads at once yet every shot they fired failed to find their mark. Another story includes Firstlight single-handedly defeating a Chaplin in close combat without suffering a single wound.
After the successful conquest of Ksi'm'yen, she was handpicked by O'Shassera, commander Shadowsun, to lead her cadre into battle at Fi'rios, a world tight in the grip of Orks. Though many of the Fire caste were lost during the conquest of that world, Firstlight's cadre emerged from every battle almost totally unscathed. The Ethereals noticed her numerous successes and decided to promote her one last time to the rank of Shas'O. She now leads her cadre from Ksi'm'yen.
Many whisper that it is only because of sheer luck that she and the fire warriors in her cadre are still around to tell their tales, but many troops under her command swear by her teachings of opportunism and stealth-based warfare. Today, although she is relatively unknown by the average shas'la, many Ethereals and Commanders speak her praise even in the councils on T'au.
Signature Weapons: None! She adjusts for whatever enemy she faces, rarely bringing a single weapon through more than two or three battles in a row.
That's everything - any mistakes? I know that there wasn't much of a war on Ksi'm'yen during its capture, but I'm sure there were still SOME defenders left.
I'm just not sure about what races she would have battled on Fi'rios, and stuff like that. Other than that, is it overall believable?
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I am probably the best warhammer player ever.
I like this; humble beginnings to great ends; very good, mostly.
However, is it just her skill that keeps her and her Cadre safe, or are you implying something more supernatural? Either way, surviving combat with a Chaplain is the only part that seems a little far fetched; perhaps demote him to a Powerfist wielding Vet. Sgt, and, using her speed and foresight, she managed to outmanouvered him.
Thinking of army composition, what is your list like, or going to be like? A large number of Stealth teams would fit the fluff well, seeing as she spent so much time as part of one. Perhaps pathfinders too.
I believe the Tau mainly faced Ork opposition on Fi'rios; there is a campaign about it on the UK Games Workshop Site. Although, in the UK white Dwarf, in which Tau Empire was launched (I don't have it to hand, so don't hold me to this), they faced a Dark Eldar force on an outlying planet called Kol'n. Which, I believe, was part of the Fi'rios system.
All in all good stuff. Hope this helps.
Last edited by Pye; June 29th, 2006 at 23:20.
Mech Tau: always outnumbered, never outgunned
Music Clan - "Go us!"
Thanks for the input.
Yes, my army will include a large number of Stealth teams, although it is largely going to be mechanized. That's okay, Stealths fit in that theme fine.
I'm not sure if I should re-write it with a more epic feel and maybe some dialogue, or maybe write another few short stories describing her and how she got her names (still undecided) and stuff.
If I do a minor re-write, I might add another rumor that some spirit is watching over her, keeping her safe, or maybe put more of an emphasis on skill OR I could explain it by calling it dumb luck, sort of how I have now. I'm glad I got the Orks and stuff right, not sure about the enemies on Ke'lshan however - the codex just says the residents of the planet were hassled by numerous aliens. If the Dark Eldar thing is true, I could also write a bit more fluff about her or her bodyguards including them.
Yes, I'm expecting to give her bodyguards unique backrounds as well, and maybe attempt to explain her relationship with them.
WINS 100% OMIGAWD
I am probably the best warhammer player ever.