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ok, this is kind of a test, to see if the fluff for my (hopefully) future IG army, the Legion of Death-the 210 Cartog Legion
As the proud leader of the 210 Cartog Legion held the necron relic in his hand, the fate of the entire legion, along with its planet, was sealed. The actions of one man condemed thousands, and they all thank him.
As the planet Cartog lll was brought into damn nation, the populus was released into true understanding of the Imperium, of Chaos, and even of the great wars derived over teh many planets of their system. All of it was an illusion of control, but the "puppetmaster" of it all was still unknown. But what was know was they could no longer be harbored within the Imperium. The citizens were either enslaved, or killed, the solders, or those worth of teh position, were boarded on the last remaining ships of the planet, salvaged from the few cities of the world.
The "great weapon", help constantly by Commander Azazel, is in itself, a gift, and a curse. It powers the ships that the Legion of Death use to go from planet to planet, and it is what gives Azazel his unique gifts. During the battle agains the Necrons, the Legion was lead by an inquisitor to retrieve the relic, but when they reached the site of the relic, gathered around the altar, Azazel was shot in the back by a gauss weapon. As the skin and muscle began to break down, molicule by molicule, Azazel fell on top of the altar, onto the necron relic. Before the commander was dissintigrated completely, the inquisitor shot the xenos, killing it. Although Azazel was far from aliave, and he was left with no more than hes skelatal system, and various patches of muscle, he arose, wielding the relic and raising a bolt pistol. The inquisitor, knowing what had happened, tried to draw his weapon, but wasnt quick enough, for the commander had shot him.After the battle, the entire legion was summoned back to the main ship, leaving the inquisitors forces behind, only to discover that the inquisitor was killed. The artifact had, however, possessed the commander, and through him, his entire army.
The warriors of the Legion of Death all have their skin painted black, with think white lines where their bones are, resembling a skeleton. The veterans of the Legion who suffer wounds are augmented with bionics taht resemble bones. The mighty Azazel is now nothing more than a living skeleton, spreading his plague of death, disease, and fear throught the solar system. Although the Legion never refuses a chance to duke it out with the Inquisition or teh necrons.
i know there are a lot of spelling errors, and its not very detailed, but i just added most of it while typing, so please, add comments and concerns
Last edited by The Count; October 29th, 2006 at 00:00.
Seems okay, just one thing.
How did/do they survive being blasted by the inquisition? I mean a living skeleton does seem
a little freaky don't you think? Also Why would a necron artifact have this power?
I would rather just call it a xenos artifact.
Oh and one major spelling issue i don't think you spelt "the" right once, just work on that.
And maybe if it is for a armies fluff make it less specific.Something like that but more with more details of course.He was mortally wounded but by having the artifact he survived and fled with his men although he was little more than a skeleton.
Well that is just my opinion , hope it helps.
i think ive fixed most of the problems, especially the "the" misspelling, and i added a little more.
hope that helps, and im not sure if ill add more to it, but i might, so stay tuned to it :shifty: