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((I just picked up a copy of the new Codex: Eldar and was inspired to scribble up the following background story to an Autarch that might lead a themed army I've had in the works. This Dinendal fellow would be part of a pretty detailed campaign that I've also been working on. So expect related work to be turning up around here soon. Apologies on any spelling or grammatical errors. It's pretty late with me, right now. Feel free to comment/question =) ))
Dinendal Coamenel is one of the Autarchs produced by the Craftworld Altansar during its long struggle to survive within the nightmare realm of the Eye of Terror. He is a natural-born leader, feared by the Seer Council of his Craftworld and loved by the Aspect Warriors he leads into combat to restore the honour of his people, even after having led from the brink of the Warp alongside a host of heroes brought by Maugan Ra, the Harvester of Souls and First Son of Altansar.
As a youth, Dinendal was raised in a life much different from that experienced by most Eldar after The Fall. Altansar was not a safe place, the wraithbone of the Craftworld screeching with torment at the Warp energies inflicted upon it within the Eye of Terror. Some places within the vast living spacecraft were too dangerous to visit, even for the grand Exarchs of the Aspect shrines as they had become over-run with Daemons and other fell creatures.
Just as the proximity to the Warp of UlthwĂ© Craftworld led to a greater number of Farseers and Warlocks there through the latent psychic abilities bestowed by mutation, Dinendal exhibited a talent for telepathy and telekinesis in his childhood. It was not long before his parents gave Dinendal over to the Seer Council of Altansar Craftworld to begin the long journey that is the Path of the Seer. He was assigned a kindly old caradoc, or mentor, named Ireth Canesir.
Ireth helped Dinendal explore his ability to experience and interpret portents of the future over the century he spent as her pupil. But this only scratched the surface of the complexities inherent in the Path of the Seer and Dinendal did not have the patience to complete his studies, to see the Path through to its end and become a Farseer with a seat on the Council of Altansar. Before he could undertake the tests to become a Warlock in his caradocâ€™s retinue, Dinendal formally departed from the Path of the Seer.
At first the Seer Council of Altansar, so keenly interested in the advancement of this gifted young Eldar, lamented. They feared that Dinendalâ€™s youthful impetuosity and ambitiousness had sent him down the Path of the Dark Kin and that a star had fallen from the heavens into the hands of the Great Enemy, even under their watchful gaze. But their fear was, at least then, not necessary. Dinendal was not to tread the Path of the Dark Kin, but the Path of the Warrior.
Dinendal, being no stranger to the hardships of life on Altansar and understanding full well the perilous battle for survival the Craftworld waged daily against the forces of Chaos that surrounded them, he felt that the Aspect Warriors served a more important and essential role in Altansarâ€™s livelihood than the Seers. While the Farseers and their Warlocks surrounded themselves in finery and etiquette in the wraithbone heart of the Craftworld, far from the fighting and suffering, and debated endlessly on passing visions of ambiguous victories, the Aspect Warriors of the Craftworld fought valiantly against unimaginable odds- and prevailed. To Dinendal, Altansar survived because its Aspect shrines survived.
But he was also keenly aware of the presence of the Warp. He felt She Who Thirsts waiting to taste his soul. Fearing the horrible fate that awaits all who tread the Path of the Dark Kin, Dinendal joined the Aspect shrine he felt would instil the greatest sense of discipline and duty in him, so as to prevent his fall to darker desires. He sought sanctuary in the Dire Avengers. He found security in providing security for his fellow Eldar through the art of the stalwart defence. He learned the use of the power sword and the shuriken catapult. He learned how to whip a few Guardians, conscripted from the ranks of Eldar who had once dabbled in the Path of the Warrior and now tread other Paths, into a defence stronger than wraithbone. He became enamoured with this Aspect of the war god, Kaela Mensha Khaine, and found himself as Exarch of his shrine, wielding a Dire Sword fashioned using the spirit stone of his former Exarch- Elessar Minyatur, who taught him everything he knew and fought hundreds of battles against the tides of Chaos but was finally slain by Daemonettes during a valiant defence of several Bonesingers ambushed by the foul servants of Slaanesh.
Dinendal eventually realized that his fascination with the Dire Avenger Aspect did not come from the art of defence but from the discipline within that art of leading a defence. His destiny lay not with the Path of the Warrior, but the Path of Command. He was not an Exarch, but an Autarch- like the great heroes of the stories acted out by the Harlequin troupes that visited even the wayward and lost Craftworld of Altansar. Seeking to find a balance in the way he perceived war and the waging of it, he joined a shrine of the Howling Banshee Aspect. The Banshee was the perfect example of Kaela Mensha Khaine waging war on the offensive, attacking the enemy in their homes and striking terror in their hearts. This was the exact opposite of what he had mastered with the Dire Avengers: Kaela Mensha Khaine as defender of the weak and innocent, protecting fellow Eldar while they rested in some form of peace, inspiring their people to continue to resist the Warp and its denizens.
It was not long before Dinendal was brought before the Court of the Young King, his mastery of the Howling Banshee Aspect having been completed. There the Young King declared him an Autarch of Altansar and a hero of his people. He was warned, however, to remember the lessons taught to him by his Seer caradoc Ireth in his youth and his first Exarch and master in the Dire Avenger Aspect Elessar Minyatur, lest he fall even from his lofty place in the ranks of a Craftworld that had survived for thousands of years in the full embrace of the Warp.
For the most part, Dinendal Coamenel has. But he still possesses a youthful ambition, even as he advances in years. When Maugan Ra returned to guide Altansar out of the Eye of Terror and back into real space once again, Dinendal saw this as further proof that the Aspect Warriors are the true heroes of the Craftworld and that the Seers are nothing more than parasites, feeding off of the blood of martyrs to preserve their cloistered and care-free existence. He believes, with an increasingly stronger sense of conviction, that it is the Court of the Young King that should govern and rule Altansar, not the Seer Council. And, of course, who better to reign as Young King than Dinendal Coamenel himself?
The story is well written. You don't make big gramatrical mistakes and the sentances are not to long. The thing is, you're story does not correspond with the facts. Some points:
-A Warlock is a eldar who has trodded the path of the warrior and then decided to take the pasth of the seer but not relenquish his martial skills. Read the entry in the dex and internet.
-When an eldar becomes an Exarch he dons on the exarch suit AND CAN NEVER TAKE IT OF.
When an eldar becomes an exrach he can not return to normal live. Read the codex entry about exrachs.
-When an eldar starts on an path he will furfill it untill he has completedit. Eldar don't say "i don't like it i quit".
I am sorry if i am a bit harsh but read the codex well before you write some fluff.
If you would rewrite soem of the stuff the story would be wonderfull to read.
Hope it helps
"Ask not the Eldar a question, for they will give you three answers; all of which are true and terrifying to know"
On the topic of reading the Codex, I'll encourage you to read the entry for the Autarch in the newest edition. Your points on the permanency of an Eldar's position as Exarch are inconsistent with canon. Perhaps you are operating on out-dated information?
No, he's correct...in a sense. An Exarch is forever trapped upon the path that he has chosen to follow and once he puts on the sacred armour, he can never take it off and his soul intermingles with all of the others who have worn the suit before him, thus giving him a gestalt identity that is at once himself and the combat experience of every Exarch before him (or her). An Autarch has trod several of the Warrior paths (and possibly worn the mask of the Warlock at one point in time) and has progressed significantly, such that he could have become an Exarch but instead turned away at the last moment and chose a different path to dedicate themselves to. After having "mastered" several paths, the Autarch begins to understand that their talents do not necessarily lie in battle (or they would have become an Exarch) but in command, so I think you did well to distinguish between defense and leading a defense.