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Scions of Ra
Colours – Desert Yellow with brass details, complimented with a red-brown colour. Use of Blue and Turquoise is prolific throughout the chapter [re: not decided how to use these properly just yet].
Chapter Symbol – “Eye of Ra”
The origins of the Scions of Ra start with the creation of the chapter, one of the many born from the 26th founding in 736.M41. Although, they bore a different name then. Instead they were called ‘Hands of Dorn’, to honour their progenitor from whose gene stock they were created. Or to be more specific they were created from an Imperial Fists successor’s geneseed. Though which chapter has never been fully clear, and the Scions have never possessed any desire to find out. As soon as the chapter was up to full strength and fully equipped, they were sent out to bring the Emperor’s Light to those who needed it or the strength of Dorn’s fist to those who required it.
For many years the Hands of Dorn wandered the known universe, defending humanity where they found it and smiting the Emperor’s foes. The chapter took more after the original progenitors – the Imperial Fists – that was first realised; they were very proud and implacable in their advance. They even took to various practices that the Imperial Fists too part in, such as ritualistic combats and extensive use of the Pain Glove. Their method of warfare was almost identical as well, preferring long range bombardments and well planned strategies before doing the ‘Butchers Work’. The similarities between the two chapters were so much that other chapters and even the Imperial Guard Regiments began to mock them with the name “Little Fists”. Though never to their face. The one exception being an incident in a war council involving multiple space marine chapters, one of which was the Imperial Fists, a captain of the White Consuls third company made such a remark. His reward was to be knocked flat on his back, were it not for the Imperial Fist captain staying the blade of the Hands of Dorn captain, he would have been skewered on the power sword. After this incident the two chapters were at ends, both refusing to work together. After the campaign ended the Hands of Dorn left without a word. This would not be the last time the chapter was mocked nor the last time it would come to blows with another marine chapter.
After this the name Hnds of Dorn appears sporadically upon various rolls of honour, some times they played a small part in major campaigns and others they were the only ones to heed the call of the Emperor’s subjects. However in 993.M41 when the second Tyranid invasion, codenamed “Kraken” entered Imperial space the Hands of Dorn answered the call and in a massed co-ordination with many other space marine chapters they were all set to defend against these terrible beasts. The chapter was given an important job of escorting a high ranking Imperial official until they were well clear of Kraken’s path. However they were not expecting an Eldar pirate raid. Seemingly from nowhere a number of sleek vessels appeared and with smooth, quick efficiency they struck. Three of the Hands of Dorn’s strike cruisers were lost but more importantly the official’s ship was critically damaged. Before a rescue could be mounted the ship’s plasma core went critical and she exploded in a ball of brilliant white light. Under this the pirate Eldar escaped the marine’s wrath. This failure of their duty was brought before a tribunal of their fellow Chapter Masters, the result was that the Hands of Dorn were to undertake a pennant crusade until their honour was restored. Their crusade would wait until after the current problems of the Tyranid invasion, they were to join forces with the rest of the marines for a mass surgical strike upon a number of worlds that were in close proximity to one another and were of importance to the Imperium.
However, the Emperor had other plans for the chapter. The eve before the battles news of a splinter fleet that had managed to escape much of Imperial molestation due to its size had been detected heading deeper into Imperial space. As this news reached the Hands of Dorn they were presented with a new problem in the form of Chief Librarian Gaius. He had received visions of a Tyranid force devouring planet after planet. He could hear the anguished screams as billions of human lives were extinguished. After consulting the Emperor’s Tarot he was clear that the immortal Emperor was placing a task before the chapter – a chance to cleanse their previous failure. This was all Chapter Master Baltlock needed. Calling in all of his resources, the chapter altered the course of the remainder of their fleet and pursued this splinter to bring the crushing fist of Dorn down upon it. This sudden and unexplained retreat by the chapter the other chapters curse them and brand them cowards, including their beloved Imperial Fists. But they truly believed they had been given a task from the Emperor himself and who were they to ignore his orders? The closer they gained on the Tyranid fleet the more they saw the destruction that had been wrought. World after world had been stripped barren, all that remained were creatures left by the hordes to devour the planet as a whole. The chapter’s progress was slowed by the sheer number of times they had to stop and loose a powerful payload into a planet to ensure these worlds were not completely devoured.
Finally they came upon the splinter fleet. It had stopped at a single planet, but not to feed and devour. The Tyranids were seemingly protecting it and devouring all signs of life on its surface. Why this desert planet was of great importance they were unsure but Chief Librarian Gaius proclaimed this is where the Emperor had lead them and so they could not fail. Despite the small size of the fleet it was still large enough to destroy the marines through sheer numbers, thus from high in orbit the remaining battle barges of the space marines opened fire into the swarming mass of living flesh below. Orbital lance strikes and melta torpedoes left blistering scars on the barren landscape as well as ripping holes in the Tyranids ranks. Using this advantage the marines used all available forces and the entire remains of the chapter launched planet-wards in either drop pods or via use of Thunderhawk gunship’s. The Tyranids were not defenceless though, as they descended they came under fire from biological weaponry; many drop pods met the desert floor as nothing more than a burning wreck and more Thunderhawks were forced to attempt emergency landing as this ‘bio-plasma’ struck their hulls, burning through the thick plating with ease. Yet for each Thunderhawk or drop pod that was lost three made it safely, the hard impacts of the drop pods created craters of quickly cooling glass as the sand fused together under the heat. The marines moved with precision and practice, moving out to take the higher ground and mounting their heavy weapon armed devastators with good advantage points.
For months they fought over a small mountain range in the middle of the deserts. The Tyranids defended it with such tenacity that the Hands of Dorn were convinced there was something important to them under the mountains. They gambled and took the risk of an infiltrating assault spearheaded by the elite First Company, along with the remains of the tenth and lead by Chapter Master Baltlock. Using the smaller and stealthier scouts Baltlock discovered just what they were up against. The mountain itself was a huge mass of honeycombed tunnels all leading to a single chamber at the heart of the mountain. Inside the scouts recorded an oversized Tyranid yet to be identified, it seemed to be ingesting creatures – the dead residents of the world – and regurgitating newly formed Tyranid bio-creatures. Fearing the possibility of such an army appearing in the heart of the Imperium whilst it was undefended, Baltlock had to act.
From what the scouts had reported the chamber would collapse if certain tunnels were set to crumble or fail under the stress of the weight above them. Thus the plan he devised was to plan a string of krak grenades at intervals down each of the designated tunnels. Once the first and most important were set off then the explosion will cause a chain reaction with each of the following sets of grenades following suit and increasing the magnitude of the explosion and weaken the integrity of the structure and bring the roof crashing down upon the Tyranids underneath. However, Terminator suits were not designed for stealth and soon their presence was detected. The tunnels began to fill with Tyranids, foremost the feared ‘Genestealer’ strain. These four limbed Tyranids were capable of shredding even the thickest armour that the marines were protected by with ease. Yet the marines would not give in and despite being out numbered they were not out gunned. Assault cannons roared deafeningly loud in the small confines of the tunnels, even the chatter of bolter fire and the roar of the flamers echoed down the tunnels. Step by step they forced their way down each of the tunnels, the scouts planted the explosives at the specified locations then it was a fighting retreat to the regrouping location.
The numbers lost in each tunnel were phenomenal, most of them being the terminator armoured marines as they shielded their lesser protected brethren and poured out more firepower to power their way through. As they all regrouped it became apparent that one team had failed, the first tunnel – needed to start the chain reaction – was heavily protected. The gamble was crumbling around them. If the charges were not set then the marines would have died for nothing. Baltlock could not risk loosing any more marines to a failed task, so he ordered the retreat out of the mountain and they required another way of dealing with the nest inside. Yet as he retreated, Brother-Captain Tyris of the First Company marched the opposite direction. Down the tunnel. With him followed nine other veterans all clad in the precious Terminator armour, unable to stop them Baltlock whispered a pray to the Emperor of his brothers and followed the others outside to the continuous slaughter in the light.
Captain Tyris and his squad blasted their way down the tunnel, their storm bolters glowed cherry red under the constant use and slowly one by one they ran dry – that dead click as the ammunition was expended and the hammer hit nothing but thin air. They were reduced to fighting their way through due to sheer brute force; power fists shattered carapace and skull alike. In the darkness the light given off from the powerful energy field that enveloped the Terminators fists lit the way, until the finally reached the cavern entrance. As they emerged into the hollow at the centre of the mountains, hundreds – if not thousands – of eyes swung their way and as one surged in attempts of protecting the creature that inhabited the chamber. Of the ten marines that started out there were now only five left, all of them were either down to their last rounds or resorted to the sole use of their power fists. Captain Tyris ordered one to fix the grenades and the rest to form a protective circle around him as he worked. The circle did not last long, the small number of marines could never stop the tidal wave of living flesh that crashed down upon them. One by one they fell; Brother Mathius was eaten alive by ammunition that burrowed through his armour to his flesh beneath, Brother Janus was split from crotch to sternum by one of the larger creatures and Brother Varus was dragged to the floor and drowned in his own blood. The remaining three knew they could not hope to return to the surface and so with a pray on their lips to the Emperor, Captain Tyris struck the grenades with his power fist.
The explosion shock the ground, as the fireball tore into the crowded tunnel entrance is also spiralled back down the tunnel and into the next grenade. One by one the grenades each explodes bursting out into the chamber like fiery dragons breathe. It was slow at first, like the first stone that marked a rockslide then the small stone gathered speed. One by one the tunnels collapsed and the dozens of them that dotted the chamber, each crumbled under the enormous weight above. And like a ponderous swan diver the ceiling gave way. Above ground the mountain emitted a rumbling groan and as dust was expelled from its innards it fell, the top sunk inwards and the battlefield was covered in a cloud of yellow dust. The deaths knell of the ‘master’ Tyranid verberated across the horde, leaving them dazed and confused. Seeing their chance Chapter Master Baltlock ordered concentrated fire and seen the scything bolter rounds had seen to the end of the Tyranids upon the planets surface. The Battle for Lybaras was won, but at a heavy cost. Buried beneath the mountain was nearly fifty percent of the First Company, most of which wore the rare Terminator Armour. In addition outside, on the surface, the Tyranids had caused heavy casualties as well. The entire chapter was under fifty percent, and in many cases the precious geneseed was impossible to retrieve. It was with a heavy heart that the chapter celebrated victory.
After the aftermath, the Chapter began to explore the world. They discovered, surprisingly, that they were not the only humans on the world. In various places there were signs of a struggle, battlefields littered the ground with a number of dead Tyranids. They also found cities sat along the bank of a river, most were scared with evidence of fighting but one held almost the entire remaining population of the planet under its walls. The city was named Mahrak, inside the people were tanned, primitive and scared. Yet after some struggling, the Chapters librarians discovered they spoke an ancient derivative of Imperial High Gothic and communication was possible, if a little slow and not fully accurate. They were told to seek the Lector-Priests in the sacred city of Lunu in the middle of the deserts for their answers. The city lay among an entire stretch of golden sand, the tall white marble pillars reflected the sand and shone a brilliant gold in the blazing sunlight. Here the chapter discovered the history of the world and its people. At once Chief Librarian Gaius and Chapter Master Baltlock knew what was being asked of them. The city was in fact a shrine dedicated to the God Ra, who bore an uncanny likeness to the Emperor, and inside stood a flame that had been lit when Ra had visited and never been extinguished. It was a burning light against the darkness, with no guardians. The columns stretched high into the sky, each one intricately carved with the planets history and the history of the Imperium. One told of the traitor and criminal Akhenaten turning against Ra only for him to be slain by Ra’s own hand. Afterwards Ra retreated to his “Golden Throne” in the sky to watch his children until such a time that he would be needed once more.
Chapter Master Baltlock claimed Lybaras for his chapter’s homeworld, proclaiming dominance of the Adeptus Astartes over the world and their defence of the surrounding worlds. Baltlock also decreed the chapter would change their armour, from the dull grey to the golden sand of their new world. Finally he changed their name and chapter badge, such an extensive number of changes was aided by the will of the Emperor’s Tarot. The Hands of Dorn would from henceforth be known as the Scions of Ra, and their chapter badge would be the sacred “Eye of Ra”. In later years this change would bring the keen eye of the Ordo Hereticus upon them, the Ordo believed the eye to be a blasphemous icon like that worn by the traitors the Black Legion; the so named Eye of Horus. However the Scions of Ra have always proclaimed it to be a pure version of that eye, the all seeing and protecting eye of the Emperor himself. No action has been taken by the Ordo, yet they still keep a watchful eye on the chapter. The chapter has since its ‘rebirth’ been involved in many wars and fields of battle each time acquitting themselves as the Emperor’s finest. Though they have shown an immense hatred towards the Tyranids and would ignore even the Great Enemy to combat the “devourer of worlds”. This they have become rather efficient at doing, they even have a splinter force of their own; known only as “The Hunters”. They are an almost separate entity on their own and often act independently of the chapter, engaging in their own battles. Their aim is to discover the most efficient way of combating the Tyranids, the small group have very strong ties with the Ordo Xenos; at times they are even asked to test new experimental weapons and equipment against the Tyranids or to undertake dangerous missions alongside the Deathwatch.
In 997.M41 there came a new invasion, the Tyranid host codenamed “Leviathan” had entered Imperial space and ravaged dozens of planets. But due to unknown circumstances the Hive Fleet swung away from its previous direct course to Terra and instead moved to head into the Ork infested worlds of the Octavius system. It will not be long before they return and perhaps with new biologically created creatures they have culled from the Ork population. When this happens the Scions of Ra will be ready to stand shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the Imperium in its defence. Yet their world harbours a secret that even they do not know, in the darkness of the world things that should not exist…do.
The Scions of Ra reside on the planet Lybaras, this little known world is located in a section of space placed firmly between the Maelstrom and a section of the galaxy known as the Dominion of Storms. The planet itself does not appear on many star maps, it was believed to be nothing but a small barren desert world to insignificant to be placed on any map of importance. Despite this the world is more than just a world of desert. Whilst it is true that eight tenths of the world is made up of deserts that are unbroken except for the occasional blemish that is an oasis or mountain range or even a city. The final two tenths are, in fact, bodies of water. The world is cut into two large continents by these oceans and there is even marine life in the depths – the various kinds of fish found are considered a great delicacy by the inland city dwellers. The planet is far from just a sandy rock.
The sandy deserts themselves are not devoid of life, from the tiny dung beetle to the giant sandworm; the desert teems with life. Though many of these creatures would kill a human stone dead if given chance, even a space marine would have problems against some. The sandworm for example, it’s stomach acid is so corrosive it can eat through the power armour of a space marine in mere minutes and its size means it can devour a marine whole in one go. The sandworm is not the only danger to the unwary, there are creatures that leap from the sands and drag its prey into the golden floor with little sign of it ever being there. Of course it is not only beasts that are a danger in the deserts, natural sinkholes or quicksand pits are a hazard and dehydration has claimed many lives.
The people who live on the world are known as Diadochi, they are mainly a nomadic race who are organised into tribes. These tribes range from very small to extremely large, an exact count of their numbers are near impossible due to the fact they never hold to a constant size for long. They are led by a head male, and his family are considered to be the rulers of the tribe. They make the laws and administer the punishment for breaking these laws, each tribe has different ways of dealing with law and order. Despite their nomadic tendency they all worship the one God Ra and once every five years they make a pilgrimage to the sacred city Iunu to give praise to Ra. Whilst they are mainly a nomadic race there are some who have settled in one location and created sprawling cities. It is said that the nomadic way of life is slowly petering out in favour of city life.
These cities are carved from the land itself, blocks of sand brick make up the bulk of the city dwellings – homes, workplaces, recreational places and even public baths. Those rich or powerful enough live in homes made of white marble, the craftsmanship that has gone into these buildings is immense and is all a show of power. The cities have begun to claim the lands around them as their own, even beginning to build homes for the poorer citizens outside the city limits. The most powerful city currently is “Mahrak” as it sits on the delta of the river Nie, the banks are very fertile making them very wealthy – able to grow their own crops is in itself worth its weight in gold in this society. The cities hold an amicable relationship with one another though there are often raids against rivals for slaves or gold mainly. When the Kings of these cities die he is taken out into the desert to a specially designed pyramid to serve as the mausoleum to the kings that have been and will be. They practice a strange form of burial, the king is purified by having his organs removed before being wrapped in bandages and anointed with salves and placed in a carved stone coffin and buried with tokens from his life. The Diadochi believe that it is only this way in which the soul may be freed from the body to be judged by the God Ra and to see if he is worthy to sit among the dead by his side.
Technologically speaking they are a backwards race compared with the rest of the universe, using copper as their weaponry and main metal for battlefield use. Arrows, spears and swords are the favoured weapons as is a horse drawn chariot, used mainly by the Kings or nobles in battle. Despite this they are fierce in battle, many great kings have cut a bloody swathe through his enemies to claim their city, ransack it and return to his own city to await the next opponent. They make good candidates for space marine selection.
The marines themselves have aimed to fit into a set role placed before them – Ra’s warriors and leave the people to govern themselves. They have a number of pyramids, nine to be exact, to serve as a home to each of the companies. The first and tenth company reside with the bulk of the chapter’s higher ranking marines; often acting as either envoys or bodyguards. Each pyramid is self governing with the Captains answering only to the Pharaoh, his envoy or the Arch-Lector. The pyramid is just a surface cover; the main bulk of the company is below ground in specially built habitats for the marines to rest in, common rooms and a chapel to pray in. Like the Diadochi the marines have begun to practice mummification, each brother who falls is placed within a crypt beneath the great pyramid of the Pharaoh. The Pharaoh himself receives a great ceremonious sending and his face is covered in a golden death mask before placed into a sarcophagus.
The chapter itself is primarily a codex force with a few alterations and aversions. Being as the chapter is from Imperial Fist geneseed the legacy of their progenitors live on in them and so the Scions of Ra and well equipped and knowledgeable in the art of siege warfare as well has having a preference to long range engagements with use of support artillery from their own tanks or allies as well as an extensive use of devastator squads. Although, since the change of their chapter name they have begun to extensively use anti-personal weapons rather than anti-tank. This is a by product of their hatred towards the Tyranid menace and desire to eradicate them for good.
As they are a Codex chapter they still possess the full ten companies, the first being their veteran company and the tenth the scout. Companies two through to five are the Battle companies with the remainder as reserves. However there are a few alterations, the seventh company is a dedicated devastator company like the ninth. All companies except the first, second and third are all devoid of dreadnoughts. This is attributed to the lack of sarcophagi they possess and also to their beliefs as well, resulting in only the main used active companies will have the use of dreadnoughts. The first company has never been at full strength since the destruction of forty percent of their numbers when they first reached Lybaras, in honour of this and of their selfless act of the first company captain the company will never possess more than sixty veterans into its ranks.
The veteran marking is a turquoise helmet; those of the first company have their armour painted black as a sign of their forever morning and honouring their last battle brothers. Whilst the first company refuses to even have more than sixty veterans there is in fact more than that in the chapter. Those sergeants or marines that serve for long enough or perform a duty past that what is required of them then they may bear the mark of the veteran and paint their helmet turquoise but their armour is to stay the same colour as the rest of the chapter.
The chapter also maintains a separate element, the so named “The Hunters”. These are marines who have shown great aptitude at killing Tyranids, there is no discrimination in rank here – The Hunters include Chaplains, Librarians and even Techmarines. They have their own armour and access to newly developed weaponry and equipment from the Ordo Xenos. These select marines are often off world undertaking an Inquisition sanctioned mission involving the eradication of Tyranids; they are involved in tasks such as assassinating Genestealer Hybrids and primarches or hunting down broods on world or space hulks. They are more than capable of taking on the largest and fiercest Tyranid has to offer in battle as well as by stealth. There is an intense rivalry between The Hunters and the Ultramarine equivalent the specialist force “Tyranid Hunters”, though which is the better is debatable.
The upper echelons of the Scions of Ra Chapter stay mainly the same as for a Codex Chapter; they have a Chapter Master – known as the Pharaoh – as well as the Librarian core, these are known as Lector-Priests. Each of the company Captains is answerable to the Chapter Master himself and his word is law, even the Lector-Priests bend knee to the Pharaoh. The selection of Pharaoh is made by the previous one, should he pass before his choice is recorded then it falls to the most senior Lector-Priest – otherwise known as the Arch-Priest – to decide the next Pharaoh. Every forty years there is an event known as Heb-Sed. This is for the Pharaoh to prove before the eyes of his chapter that he is worthy to bear the responsibility and title of Pharaoh. The Heb-Sed is a series of challenges to prove the Pharaohs – strength, wisdom, heart, endurance, piety and skill. They take on various forms including a ritualistic combat and a marathon through a danger ridden course. If all tasks are completed then he is believed fit to serve yet another forty years as Pharaoh. Should he fail then his replacement is chosen and he becomes a councillor and member of the new Pharaoh’s personal guard.
Much like the Imperial Fists, that the Scions of Ra were once modelled on, the Chapter harbours a strong tactical strength and flexibility that the Codex Astartes dictates. But they diverge slightly with their preference towards long range engagements and drawing their enemy into carefully planned traps, in addition they are very strategic based. The chapter will go into few fields of battle without knowing every possible angle that danger might come from and the locations of important landmarks or defensive positions. A Scions of Ra battle plan is so intricately planned and laid out with every conceivable option many would claim it to be a piece of artwork.
The chapter recruit solely from their homeworld Lybaras. Just which of the potentials are chosen is down to a series of tests, the chapter has never made any distinction between those who live in the cities and those who still live as nomads. Much like the Heb-Sed that the ‘Pharaoh’ must endure, the potentials also must undertake a number of task that test the spirit, soul, the boys physical strength and their mental strength too. Theses tests consist of running a dangerous gauntlet through the deserts, as well as being bombarded with blasphemous ideals to test their spirit; tasks involving puzzle solving was to test their mental agility.
Those chosen few that pass all the tests go on to begin the transformation into a space marine. Though many actually fail the various tests, their bodies are laid to rest outside the Chapters fortress monastery for the family to bury them in their ancestral crypts. After being implanted with the necessary organs and undergone all the required tests and physical alterations, the newly created neophytes of the chapter are placed into the tenth company [Scouts] and undergo training until it is decided by a most senior of veterans in the company that they are ready for induction as a full battle brother.
The chapter’s belief is that the Emperor is a god, and as such he is deified by them and those of the planet. In the main hall of the chapter monastery there stands a golden statue of the Emperor as he is worshipped by the marines, in the guise of the god Ra. The history of this belief stems from the time after the first Imperial missionaries had been, the Diadochi’s beliefs were originally based around a pantheon of Gods but soon they came to only worship a singular God known as Ra. Ra is the sun God, “he who brings the light” is another name used for their representation of the Emperor. As the marines integrated themselves into the world of Lybaras they took up this belief as their own, seeing the truth of these words they accepted them without fail. The actual history is told in story form, drawn in pictures on the walls of the chapter monastery etching out the lengthy tale of Ra and his sons. It also includes the betrayal known as the Horus Heresy and Ra’s ascension into the position of the sun to forever guide and protect his people from his “Golden Throne”. The great wall also gives descriptive details of what happened after Ra sat upon his Golden Throne and the honours his son took and all the history a space marine would be required to know.
The chapter are a successor from the Imperial Fist stock. Although the chapter did extensively mould itself upon their progenitor chapter, there is not any proof that they are directly born from the Imperial Fists themselves or whether it is from a successor chapter. But whatever the truth is, they have gained the tenacious and proud traits that their forbearers have.
This is the background to my marine chapter, been working on this for a few days and this is my second draft with a few alterations. However, I'm not all that knowledgeable about the 40k world. I know enough to get me by but not all that much perhaps. So, please if you spot any glaring problems would you point them out to me! Thanks.
One other thing, I have a few points I'm not sure on and whether they work or not. Tell me what you think:
* The First company's colours. I did think of them being black for morning, not sure on this though.
* "The Hunters": Perhaps a little cliché and too similar to the UM Nid Hunters, without special Rules though.
* The idea of them fleeing to "go on a mission sent by the Emperor"; would they?
* The penance; Would such an on the spot punishment be accepted, or would the other chapters hint at what would be expected of them? Or not at all?
* Clichéd; perhaps I am copying too much from other places [such as other marine chapters etc].
Anyway, I'd like to hear what people have to say and any suggestions - even with grammar and such as I can be quite bad at that.
Last edited by King Ulrik Flamebeard; January 2nd, 2007 at 22:29.
very very well done kuffmiester.
as a thought might it be a possible idea to theme your "hunters" after one of the Egyptian war gods or defenders. BES would in fact be a good choice as his role being that of guardian and ward against nasty monsters (he’s a bit of a dwarf as well )
the first company being black would also be a pretty fluffy style as you could theme them as servants of Anubis or set in the dark and mysterious death judgment sort of way.
as for being cliché what space marine chapter isn't? i personally find this one pretty original. almost as much as toastees domini vulpes chapter in a lot of respects.
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[16:19] <@Alzer> Arky's right though
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[16:20] <@Kaiser-> He usually is.
[16:20] <@Kaiser-> Sometimes it's intentional.
[00:01] <+zubus> i love you, ya skirt wearin nothern monkey! ^_^
Hmm, never thought of naming them like that. "Children of Bes" =D Something to look at anyway. =) Not sure on the black armour, the servents of Anubis would be the chaplains and I don't think that the entire first company looking like them would work. Might have to have a rethink about that part.
Thanks for the comments. =)
Haha I remember seeing this army in Painting. Good fluff, sounds solid.
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This is good though punctuation/grammar is off in places, especially run on sentences. I like that your chapter is not one of the endless string of "We are brave knights!" stuff we see so much of, very good. I have a suggestion for the armor of the First company. Instead of black armor of mourning go with White. This is consistent with a desert theme and ancient egypt too. (White was the color of mourning for the Egyptians.) You could also Incorporate allot of Skulls or other images associated with death, if you are good at free hand you could put ankhs on their shoulder pads.
As for their retreat from the swarm they would likely be ether declared heretics or after they caught the swarm everyone would applaud their foresight in recognizing the extent of the danger it posed. Be careful how you handle it.
Overall this is very well done, good job.
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Yeah, I know my grammar is bad. Something I am aiming to improve upon for this year. I never considered using white, not sure yet but might be worth it. Though, perhaps too close to the Deathwing. I am steering away from skulls apart from on Chaplains, skulls were not really a prominent aspect of Egyptian culture.
I would suggest having the 1st company in a mixture of grey and desert yellow as a way of saying that we embrace our new destiny but honour those that fell in the past and possibly as a reminder of their chapters penance (See Below.).
Overall I am impressed with the story. It is always nice to see someone putting the kind effort of effort you are putting into to your army on both the quality of painting and background.
On a seperate note the Inquisition (especially the Ordo Hereticus) would still investigate the Scions of Ra on other issues, not just their chapter symbol.
1: Their retreat from the front lines. They would have to provide proof that their actions were guided by the Emperor.
2: Possible genestealer infection by the Tyranids on the populace of the world especially in regards to the desert nomads.
3: Wether or not the chapter would still have to undergoe the Penitent Crusade for their failiure to protect the Imperial Guard commander.
But overall well done.
Last edited by Jared van Kell; January 6th, 2007 at 14:10.
Basically life sucks, there is only war and you're probably gonna get eaten by Tyranids, have fun.