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I would like to know how fluffaticaly correct this battlecry/speech is for a sapace marine chaplain to give before battle
"I am the Holy Fist of Terra! The gear toothed axe of Mars! I am the screaming chainsword of Baal! And the shining Bolter of Ultramar! Fear Me! For I am the fell tooth of the space wolves! The plasma burst of the Deathwing! The forging hammer of the Salamanders! The speeding steeds of the white scars! The solid war machines of the Iron Hands! I am one million blows of death, from one tohusand chapters of brothers! I am the crusading punch of the Black Templars! The swift strike of the Raven Guard! The besieging zeal of the Imperial Fists! I am Leman Russ, Sanguinius, Lion El Johnson, Riboute Guilliman and The Greatest of the Great Khans! I am Bjorn's crushing blow, Dantes fury, Caldegars courage, the hammerstrike of Lysnader and the claws of Shrike! Fear me for I am Blessed and of the Emperor! I serve Him and His Will! Fear me for I am Marine!"
All Mac Users Go To Hell.
What Chapter is this for? Is it for a battle involving many Chapters? Otherwise I think most of the stuff in the middle enumerating imagery from the other Chapters is a little much.
I do like the lines near the end in particular, however, and the tone overall connotes excitement, rage, and battle-lust. Very good for a pre-game speech, as it were... a little long for a battle cry.
A good way to make this into a warcry might be just that last line: "Fear me, for I am Marine!"
All the stuff before "Fear me for I am Blessed and of the Emperor! I serve Him and His Will! Fear me for I am Marine!" seems like too much stuff from too many places.