Marines vs Chaos Story Mode - Warhammer 40K Fantasy
 

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  1. #1
    Member UltioRage's Avatar
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    Marines vs Chaos Story Mode

    Reports had been coming in daily about an incoming choas fleet on a world close to macragge. The Ultramarines were quick to respond upon hearing of the daemon prince known as !!!!!(fluffy mcfluff your stuffings)!!!!!!(wtf).... Marneus Calgar personally rounded up squads of his choosings from the 10 companies and set off towards the distressed planet.

    Upon arriving it was clear that the choas army had already assaulted the planet and had taken up positions near a city where the daemon prince was planning on possessing the citizens and turning them into walking teddy bears of murder.

    Marneus Calgar would have none of that kind of crap for he had his own teddy bear back on the flagship that he would never let be daemonically possessed. So foaming at the mouth and ready to F things up marneus rolled a 6 and seized the initiative much to the disdain of mcfluff the daemon prince.

    The Choas army was caught unawares as sniper rounds came from nowhere and rended through 5 of the 10 berserkers who were busy playing chop the citizen. Nurgle Marines close by noticed the berserkers being blown to bits and realised a tad to late that they were under attack. The squad managed to look in the direction where the shots came right when 4 of their members were hit in the face with missle launchers blowing blood guts boogers and nurglings everywhere. Lascannon Shots put ozone in the air and another berserker was blown apart with just his legs standing their.

    Mcfluff was really not happy and ordered his CSM to return fire and charge the lapdogs of the false emperor. Shots rang out and hvy bolter rounds tore into the cover where the Devastator Squad was hiding two marines didnt duck down fast enough due to them watching another game going on at another table and died.

    From around the corner of a building came a deep rumbling and a land raider came crashing through the terrain as the scouts looked on in terror it opened up with its hvy bolter and sent three of the team down without their heads.

    The berserkers were coming headon towards the marines and behind them was a rhino filled with emperor knows what

    The snipers kept their cool and continued to fire at the remaining berserkers taking them all down to a man with their precision fire. The devastors opened up on the rhino and blew it to bits. The watched with a smile as a torso from a berserker went flying through the air to bounce off a rooftop.

    Marneus Calgar came out leading a squad of chaplain cassius personally trained Tyrrannic War Veterans and lit the berserkers up with bolter rounds taking them down two of the squad. The tactical squads were turning their lascannons on the choas land raider but couldnt manage to peirce its fluffy armor.

    The remaining squad of berserkers opened fire on marneus squad as they charged forwards hungry to spill the blood of the false emperors lapdogs. Almost at the same time Bikes came pulling around the corner of a building and opened up on the marines adding a hail of bolter fire that left 4 of the veterans dead and dying.

    The choas land raider turned on the spot and prepared to tank shock the veterans squad with its massive armor. Faoming at the mouth and Extremly pissed calgar got on top a broken chunk of building and cussed out every cuss word from every language in the universe and broke the land raiders tracks thus immobilising it. The Berserkers came in and bikes came in assaulting the tyrranic veterans still foaming at the mouth and with several viens pulsing on his head marneus and his veterans counter attacked the choas scum.

    The Berserkers came ripping in to the tyrranice vets taking 3 of the veterans down with mighty swings of their chainaxes. The Tyrrannic Sergeant managed to take his power shovel and smack the face off of one of the berserkers but it looked like they would be overrun soon. The sergeant looked on in despair as the bikers prepared to launch themselves into them. Until a massive blue suit of terminator armor came crashing down and crushing the lead bike like a pancake. Calgar raised his arms out and close lined the next two bikers with his power fists leaving headless bikers roaring past him spraying blood everywhere till the crashed into a wall further down the way. A biker put his brakes on and tried to stop but calgar grabbed ahold of his bike lifted it up in the air and smashed it down on top of the bike squads sergeant. The biker who tried to stop was trying to crawl away but calgar wasnt about to show mercy so he tore off the bikes handlebars and roastspitted the chaos marine right their.

    The heavens opened up as two drop pods descended down from the skies to land right in from of mcfluffy the daemon prince. Out stepped two dreadnoughts one venerable and both with assault cannons and hvy flamers. They opened up on mcfluffy but couldnt manage to pierce the great princes furry hide. Outflanking scouts came out and added their bolt shots but to no avail. Mcfluffy is a tough bastard.

    The Tactical and snipers squads begin to advance forward searching for more targets to take down. and the devastators open up on the remaining nurgle marines but fail to cause a wound due to a crap load of 2s and 1s. You would think with all that training they would be able to shoot jeez.

    The berserkers were having fun toying with the remaining tyrranic vets and cut them all down. The sergeant not wanting to go down without a fight pulled out a krak grenade and stuck it right on a berserkers crotchplate and blew his balls in all kinds of directions. The berserkers were savoring the bloodlust so much the didnt notice the giant apelike calgar swinging on a vine that was growing on the side of the building. Calgar crashed right in to them and bodies went flying. Calgar got up and grabbed a berserker by his leg and swung him at a berserker that was trying to get back up taking his head clean off with the improvised weapon. Calger lifted the marine up in the air and ripped him in half and laughed as the berserkers blood spilled over him. He then took his bolters put it to the heads of the last two berserkers and blew their brains out on the sidewalk.

    Fluffy was pissed and none too pleased about what had happened to his favored khorne berserkers. Spreading his wings he flew over the dreadnought and started to walk towards calgar.

    From behind the marine scouts came the elite chosen of mcfluffy they opened fire and the scouts had no choice but to run away from such a slaughter but in their path was the dreaded obliterators and they were torn apart to a man by the hvy firepower of how amazingly ugly that model was. Meanwhile the nurgle marines were falling back out the building to avoid getting shot at by the dev squads.

    Mcfluffy was raging puffs of fluffyness were puffing off of him as he swiftly closed the gap with calgar. Calgar could do nothing but cuss and curse the glue that held mcfluffys model together as he was b-slapped to the ground and punched repeatedly in the face with a huge sword. Mcfluffy dealt three wounds to calgar and believing Calgar dead started to do his victory dance.

    BUT CALGAR HAS 4 WOUNDS dah dah dah duh.

    Calgar gets up and spits out his broken dentures. He walks up to mcfluffy and taps him on the shoulder. Mcfluffy looks back and is amazed to see a toothless space marine he beleived he killed looking at him. Calgar delivers a quick kidney punch that brings the great prince to his knees and literally knocks the stuffing out of him. Calgar jumps on the daemon princes back and wails on the princes head with his master crafted fists of pwnage and macragge. As the prince falls to his knees Marneus jumps down in front of him and summons the power of chuck norris and bruce lee into his left and right power fists. Calgar then channels the power and says the magic words kame hame ha and blows the daemon into bits that scatter into 500 different diminsions where he doesnt benefit from the eternal warrior special rule and is always hit and wounded with force weapons MUAHAHA.

    To sum it up i rout the chosen with my dreadnoughts and kill of the oblits and raider with my tac and dev squads. and my snipers pwn the remaining nurgle marines. It was just a fun game and we had a good time just making calgar and mcfluffy the daemon prince jokes while we played. This is actually the first time ive had calgar be so effective he always usually eats a pf in the face or gets hit with a meltagun and rarely does he kill somone but this game he had a hayday. But ya cant wait for the ard boyz tourny 2500 pts woot.

    40k Ultramarines W-44 D-12 L-14 (This record is a combined from ArdBoyz and RogueTraderTourneys)
    Warhammer Choas DaemonsW-4 D-0 L-2

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  3. #2
    Member Commander K's Avatar
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    wow that was really funny
    keep it up
    K

  4. #3
    Member TraitorBob's Avatar
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    LMAO
    That was hilarious
    keep up the good work

  5. #4
    Member 1939away's Avatar
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    that was the sickest battle report ever. Laughs and a great outline of what happened.
    Desolation Fists - 600pts

  6. #5
    Senior Member animated_shadow's Avatar
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    lol, VERY funny post. Rep
    W/D/L Rumpin' BackThumpa's WAAAGH, 38/3/21

  7. #6
    Senior Member AlbinoAlien's Avatar
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    heh, very cool. Calgar was rippin' it up there!
    http://www.librarium-online.com/foru...d.php?t=104497
    PM me about Aurora Prime Vassal fights! Willing and ready!

  8. #7
    Member Wolf Lord Ninjesta's Avatar
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    interesting way of reporting...though i do believe "wtf" and 'F''ng things up isnt really the most appropiate way of going about telling a story...but thats just me.
    A feral Ork is a happy Ork.

  9. #8
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    interesting way of reporting...though i do believe "wtf" and 'F''ng things up isnt really the most appropiate way of going about telling a story...but thats just me.

    Would you prefer tactilly unfexpected and tactically superior in every way instead.

  10. #9
    Member stratarose's Avatar
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    that was hilarious... if only more battle reports could be done like this

  11. #10
    Member Wolf Lord Ninjesta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justiceisrelative View Post
    interesting way of reporting...though i do believe "wtf" and 'F''ng things up isnt really the most appropiate way of going about telling a story...but thats just me.

    Would you prefer tactilly unfexpected and tactically superior in every way instead.
    I apologize. I wish not to make waves.
    A feral Ork is a happy Ork.

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