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Dark Eldar List:
Archon, S.Field, C.Drugs, S.Pistol, Agonizer.
3xHaemonculus, Jetbike, Destructor, Scissorhand.
9 Wyches, Wych Succubus, Wych Weapons, Agonizer, Raider w/ Disintegrator.
5 Warriors, Splinter Cannon, Raider.
10 Warriors, 2 Dark Lances.
10 Warriors, 2 Splinter Cannons.
8 Scourges, 4 Splinter Cannons.
Ravager, 3 Disintegrators.
Alaitoc Rangers List:
15 Guardian Defenders, Starcannon.
14 Guardian Defenders, Starcannon.
4 Swooping Hawks, Swooping Hawk Exarch, Web of Skulls, Shuriken Pistol, Sustained Attack.
Falcon Grav Tank, Starcannon, Holo-Field, Spirit Stones.
Archon Kerpal approaced his three Haemonculi who were lounging in the Ninja Babe Lair. Kerpal asked, "How are we on entertainment?"
The first Haemonculus Azeem replied, "We have heaps of Ninja Babes, but we are running low of slaves and playthings."
The second Haemonculus Achoo added, "Ever since you killed Asdrubael Vect, everythin has been different. Not to mention you keep killing the Ninja Babes after you've satisfied yourself. You really should stop."
The third haemonculus Abu said, "I know of a planet where we can get a crapload of playthings, possibly a few females we can turn into Ninja Babes."
Kerpal said, "You're talking about Planet Brax0r aren't you? You must be insane! You do know that Brax0r is routinely virus-bombed and carpet-bombed by the humans?"
Abu replied, "So?"
Kerpal laughed and said, "I like the way you think! C'mon, we're going to Brax0r!"
As the Haemonculi headed to their penthouses to get ready, Kerpal went to address his troops.
"Insane Militiants! We are going to collect prisoners! Get ready!", Kerpal yelled.
In minutes his troops were lined up, ready for a breifing. Kerpal said, "Alright, we're going to get us some Eldar. You know the rules, anyone you kill can be looted and heads can be removed, but make it quick. Any injured may also be looted but they MUST be kept alive. Any captured prisoners MUST be looted, but do not harm them. Especially the females, they must be flawless. We don't want them turning into Grotsques."
One Warrior asked, "Master Archon Kerpal, Super Pimp and Ultimate Ninja, where are we going?"
Kerpal smiled and said, "We're going to Brax0r! MUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
As Kerpal piloted his Raider by remote-control, the three Haemonculi brought along their Talos and 8 Grotesques. Azeem said, "My Grotesques will help you capture prisoners. As the enemy runs from their hideous forms, they will leave their dead for imprisonment, then you can capture the fleeing ones."
Achoo said, "My Talos will also help. Without a mind, it will never retreat from the enemy."
Abu said, "I have nothing but my life, and I will sacrifice myself to save you, Archon Kerpal."
Kerpal thanked the Haemonculi and led his forces to Brax0r.
As they landed on Braxor, Archon Kerpal gave a word of warning to his army, "OK, you know what happens on Brax0r; constant bombings. The Eldar here hide underground. Keep an eye out, they are already watching us. If you see one, tell everyone else so that we can react. If you hear human aircraft, take cover. Let's move!"
As the Pirates started their quest for the slaves and the Babes, they were suddenly ambushed by Eldar from the distance. The Haemonculi had their jetbikes riddled with bullets. Their bikes fell to the ground, almost destroyed. The Scourges were also shot at, they were forced to move back. The anti-tank Warriors took fire but survived. They decided to help the Haemonculi fix their Jetbkes, as did the Scourges. The anti-troop Warriors were also fired upon and they hit the deck and became pinned. Kerpal yelled, "SNIPERS! MOVE MOVE MOVE!"
The Pirates qickly moved for cover. The Raiders moved behind a strange, insanely large pillar. The anti-troop Warriors stayed put. Ever since they dropped to the ground they have been safe. The Talos, fearless as usual stood in the open.
The Eldar revealed themselves. They were not close, but close enough to slow down their enemy. Their Path-Finders targeted the Talos. The Talos exploded as their specially designed 'pwnx0r' rounds detonated inside the Talos. The dying inside of it flew all over the battlefield. The Rangers, Guardians and the Wraithlord fired their weapons at the already pinned Warriors. One by one they were shot and melted to mush. The entire squad was wiped out in a single massed volley. The other Wraithlord targeted Kerpal's Raider with his Starcannon. Two bolts missed, but one hit the engine and destroyed it. The Raider came crashing down. As Kerpal and his Grotesques jumped out, two broke their necks and backs simultaneously. As Kerpal looked at their bodies, he laughed and yelled, "DOUBLE KILL!"
After the fun was over, Kerpal gave his orders, "OK troopers, we're facing an Alaitoc Ranger Force! Rangers and Path-Finders will be everywhere so keep your heads down! Ravager! To the right! Wych Raider, rush to take the left flank! Warrior Raider! Take out that Falcon!"
The Raider Warriors jumped out of their Raider before it moved to aid the Ravager. The Warriors saw the Guardians and Wraithlord in the left flank. They hid behind the ancient piller infront of them. Kerpal noticed the Stacannons that the Guardians were packing. He knew that his Grotesques weren't tough enough to take the plasma bolts. He also decided to take cover with his fellow Warriors and wait for the perfect time to strike. The Raider fired its Dark Lance at the Falcon in the distance. It missed. The Ravager fired it's Disintegrator but unfortunately it only killed one Guardian.
The Alaitoc Rangers moved up. The Guardians also moved up. The Wraithlord on the right moved more to the right. The Falcon moved up. The Wraithlord on the left moved forward and fired its Starcannon at the Ravager. Two bolts smashed through it's side skirt armour and sent it crashing to the ground. The Guardians fired their Starcannons at the Raider which attempted to shield the Ravager. It too was sent crashing into the ground. The Wraithlord on the right fired its Starcannon at a Grotesque who didn't keep his head down. It was melted in an instant.
Kerpal was in a horrible position. Part of his army was already dead, a large chunk was lagging behind and he had to take cover or recieve a 'pwnx0r' round to the head. He called Haemonculus Abu and asked him what was wrong. Abu replied, "Sorry Kerpal! Our bikes have taken serious damage and aren't working! We're going to have to take time to repair them! The Warriors here tripped a virus-mine and are choking as I speak! The Scourges' pinions have malfunctioned and they too have to wait to repair them! Sorry sir but we'll be as quick as possible!" The Wyches weren't strong enough to take on the Wraithlord nearby, and nobody else was close enough to assault. So they jumped out and took cover behind another pillar. Their Raider moved out and fired its Disintegrator at the Wraithlord, but it failed to wound it. Kerpal shook his head in dissapointment.
The Guardians moved up even more. They knew that the Pirates were in trouble. Their Rangers and Path-Finders had done heir job marvellously. The Guradians on the right moved to take the right side. The Wraitholrds moved to take their respective sides also. The Guardians in the center held their ground to keep their slice of the field. An Avatar of Khaine erupted from the earth and guarded the center Guardians from harm. The Swooping Hawks who were flying in the sky decided to strike. As they dropped onto the battlefield they dropped their Grenade Packs. Their grenades struck right in the center of the Wych Squad cowering behind the pillar. Five wyches were fatally wounded as the grenades filled them with shrapnel. The Swooping Hawks lived up to their name and swooped onto the battlefield. They fired their weapons at the Wyches, already wounded. Anotehr three Wyches fell to lasfire. ALthogh taking hideous casualties, they held their ground. The Wraithlord and the Guardians on the right fired their Starcannons in unison at the Wych Raider. Although it recieved five plasma bolts, it was only stunned and the Disintegrator was melted down and became useless.
Kerpal called his Haemonculi again. Azeem replied, "Sorry Kerpal, our bikes are still busted! The Warriors are still choking, but the Scouges fixed their pinions and should be there right about now!"
As Azeem ended his message, the Scourges dropped onto the battlefield and fired their weapons at the Swooping Hawks. all five of them were murdered under a hail of splinters. Nothing else happened, since there was nothing else to do. The Rangers and Path-Finders had everything locked down.
The Guardians on the right moved further to the right and could see the Wyches, as could the four Rangers behind them. They took aim and fired at the remaining Wyches and killed them. The rest of the Ranger Force held their ground.
Kerpal didn't need to radio his Haemonculi. They flew onto the battlefield on their repaired Jetbikes. Abu turbo-boosted next to Kerpal. Azeem flew near the Wraithlord on the left. Achoo flew and took the spot where the Wyches were. The Warriors ran and took positions and quickly fired their Dark Lances at the Falcon. Once beam of dark matter struck the Falcon, but its Holo-Field and Spirit Stones took control and orevented any damage. The Scourges flew to the left and fired at the Rangers. All four were killed. Azeem fired his Destructor at the Wraithlord infront of him and also hit two Rangers behind it, but didn't hurt anyone. He holstered his Destructor and put on his Scissorhand and charged the Wraithlord. He stuck his Scissorhand in the head of the Wraithlord, but its armour stopped the attacks. The Wraithlord swung at Azeem but each swing missed.
The Guardians in the center moved to the right and got in line of sight of the Scourges. The Rangers on the left moved and got ready to pummel Azeem with their rifle butts. The Guardians and Wraithord fired their Starcannons into the Scourges. All eight were murdered as plasma melted straight through their armour and killed them. The Falcon fired it's Starcannon but only killed one Warrior. The Rangers charged Azeem and fought alongside the massive Wraithlord. Azeem again plunged his Scissorhand into the Wraithlord and wounded it twice. The Wraithlord slapped Azeem in return and instantly killed him. The Rangers who charged reloaded and covered the area with their rifles.
Kerpal was steaming like a demon. He was stuck on this planet, and he could hear Imperial bombers flying in the air. Nobody could do anything. They knew that they had lost. The Warriors fired at the Falcon but couldn't hit it. Achoo charged the Wraithlord on the left. He didn't bother with his Destructor. He stabbed the Wraithlord with his Scissorhand and wounded it once. The Wraithlord coudn't hit Achoo.
Victory was in the bag. The Guardians fired their Starcannon at the Raider which was stunned before and destroyed it. The Wraithlord slapped Achoo and sent him and his bike crashing into the ground, right after Achoo wounded it again. The Alaitoc Ranger Force knew they had won.
Kerpal was shocked. He was defeated and helpless. He drew his Agonizer and commited seppuku. As he inserted the blade into his stomach, Abu watched and couldn't help but take his own life also. He pressed the barrel of his Destructor to his eye and pulled the trigger, ending his life. His Warriors had nothing to do. They ran out of cover, and instantly their heads were reduced to fragments of bone and blood as the Rangers did their job. As the Rangers ran ahead to inspect the scene, they found the bodies of the Archon and his rustworthy Haemonculus. As the sound of Imperial Bombers grew louder, the Alaitoc Ranger Force headed back underground, ready to strike at any other army who tries to take thier precious..... :o
YEAH! Alaitoc won that one. With 3 table quarters vs. Dark Eldar's one quarter. I was amazed at how well the Rangers and Path-Finders did their job. The Ranger Disruption Table worked wonders as well. I know that if the Dark Eldar had their full force, they most likely could have won. I hope everyone likes this battle report, it took me AGES to write, and right now I'm very tired. No, I DIDN'T PLAY AGAINST A 6 YEAR OLD!!!
R U 0K!??!? BUHHHHST WUUUULFFFFF!!!
I think dark eldar jetbikes could've changes this game. Anyhow, kerpal good try. Is this a real game and you wrote fluff on it? oh hehe and haemonculus achoo... bless you.
"There is no middle ground. Strike Hard, strike fast and strike first."
Nice one, thanks for taking the time to entertain us.
<span style='color:green'>40k, fantasy, magic</span> <span style='color:red'> World Eaters </span><span style='color:blue'>Necrons </span><span style='color:purple'>Nids</span> Dark Eldar
<span style='color:blue'>It was so nice out today... I decided to leave it out all day!</span>
Funny and everything.
Hmmm. . . . I wonder why everyone hates Asdrubael??? Too popular mabye???
Good job Kerpal.
"And whoever wants to be a creator in good and evil, must first be an annihilator and break values. Thus the highest evil belongs to the greatest goodness: but this is--being creative."
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~
Bit of avice for eldar, always use a squad of howling banshees with an exarch in ANY eldar army. They have smashed my old SM army every time as well as most other armies i've seen them play. THEY ARE DEVISTATING! GET SOME!
"Honour the Craft of Death"
poor DE, doesnt give me much hope for my army, eep!
Nah, Aesop dark eldar have better hopes than you think. COme to the dark eldar board and you will see what I mean.
"There is no middle ground. Strike Hard, strike fast and strike first."