Orks Vs. Imperial Guard - Warhammer 40K Fantasy
 

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  1. #1
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    Just a side note, I'd like to point out that i see a lot more ork reports and they are turning out good. WAAAGH DA ORKS!!!!!

    So my friend and I decided to play a game of warhammer. We flipped a coin to see if it was Fantasy or 40K and the coin came heads and you can guess what heads meant. Thats right Fantasy so I began to make my Vampire Counts army to demolish his Lizardmen which he's repeatedly pummeled me with several times. No I'm just joking. I pitted my Stompin Boys against his weedy 'Umies.

    First off I'd like to point out that my regular opponent is the Grand Cheesemeister of all time. By this I mean he enjoys the PIE PLATES OF DOOM very very much. However i was fully prepared to face him with my newly named warboss Urgaz 'Eadsplitta and his Stompin Boyz. The lists are as follows

    DA STOMPIN BOYZ

    Warboss 'Eadsplitta - 'Eavy Armor, Bionic Bonce, Choppa, Power Claw, Cybork body, Big Hornz

    16 Gretchin - Slaver w/ choppa, slugga

    15 Slugga boyz - 3 w/ rokkits, Nob w/ choppa, slugga, bosspole

    16 Slugga Boyz - 3 w/ big shootas, Nob w/ choppa, slugga, bosspole

    8 Tank Bustas - 3 w/ rokkits, Nob w/ rokkit, choppa, 3 ammo runts

    Two mobs of 8 Trukk Boyz - 1 w/ burna, Nob w/ choppa, Slugga, Trukk w/ rokkit, armor plates and ram

    Dreadnaught - 2 rokkits, armor plates

    DA 'UMIES

    I can't read his list that well but he had the following:

    -Command squad with lieutenant that consisted of about 5 guys, one with a missile launcher.

    -2 Anti Tank Squads with 3 missile launchers each

    -2 Fire Support Squads with 3 heavy bolters each

    -2 Infantry Squads with a couple Heavy Bolters and Plasma Guns

    -2 Basilisks

    He was geared to mow down my army before I even reached him. The Board was 6x4 with the long edges top and bottom and the short left and right. There were two hills opposite each other in the top left and bottom right corners. There were some boulders in the top right corner and some ruins in the bottom left. The middle top had a forest and the middle bottom there was a large ruined building. This was a Cleanse Mission.

    He got to choose his deployment zone in the bottom right with one of the hills so I was to take position near the forest in the middle. This was fine with me and I set my first unit, da Dread almost right in the middle of the board as close to enemy as possible. One trukk was deployed smack dead centre of the table with the otehr taking cover behind the trees. I set up the grots as close as they could too with some in the trees to give the reroll for difficult terrain test to my 2 slugga boyz mobz behind. One in the open terrain with the big shootas and one with the warboss was mostly in the trees with rokkits and da boss. My Bustas were placed behind my 2 large units of sluggas. his deployment centred on the hill in his corner with 2 infantry squards and command at the minimum 18 inches away from da boyz. His Fire Support teams were winged off at both flanks and his anti tank teams were positioned with 6 missile launchers on top the hill. His basilisks were on each side of the hill to benefit from the cover it provided.

    Now it was time for the most important roll to start the game. With my luck I was destined to loose the first turn but Gork an Mork were laughin as I rolled a 6 on my green dice which was enough for me to go first.

    ORK TURN 1

    I moved the trukk in the middle of the board 12 inches towards nearest umies there were and disembarked the boyz inside. The otehr truck drove behind the cover of the boulders too far to shoot. The rest of the army surge forward 6 inches except for the Sluggas and grots in the woods who moved 5 each. I started off the shooting with the trukk boyz who disembarked . They flamed the command squad and an infantry squad which killed 2 guardsmen in the command squad, their shootas plastered another 2 guardsmen in the infantry squad. My big shoots killed 2 guardsmen in the anti tank squad who passed thier morale check. Da Dread move over just enough to negate the cover the hill gave to the nearest basilisk which was now in plain sight. It let loose with both rokkits and hit with both. I rolled to penetrate the armor an both glanced and stunned the crew as the machine was not to shoot next turn. My trukk shot at the other basilisk with its rokkit but it sailed wide. In the assult the trukk boyz moved into the infantry squad killing 4 and losing none.

    UMIE TURN 1

    His movement phase was nothing so he moved straight into shooting. His one anti tank squad shot at the trukk that unloaded straight in front of his battle line and managed to blow it up. The second shot da dread but it was too hard for them and they all missed. The last missile launcher from his command shot at the trukk in cover and it destroyed the rokkit launcha mounted on the hull. Seeing his luck in shooting so far was no good he decided to switch to his one pie plate which he placed to decimate my warboss. It covered da boss 3 slugga boys and 2 grots on a direct hit. Luckily Gork an Mork were with me again as the only deaths were a slugga boy and a grot. The sluggas were spread apart as much as they could be and he failed to wound da boss. He immidiatly ended his turn in a rage and conceded the battle with an all out massacre for da boyz. This sets an all new record with a one turn with DA STOMPIN BOYZ

    I played out the combat with the trukk boys and they finished off the guardsmen and my next turn they were gonna assault into the fire support squad or the last anti tank squad. The second trukk boyz were in range to charge one of his fire support squads and the boyz and da dread were lurching forward another 6 inches. Another set of 3 rokkits were now withing range of a basilisk. I do believe that I would have rolled his army with my 2 units of trukk boyz anyways.

    Sorry it wasn't longer. My friend is a cry baby when it come to winning. When he wins he won't shut up about it but when he's even remotely close to losing he concedes. Tell you the truth my warboss could have been killed first turn and I would have not cared. He distracted that basilisk shot off da boyz. those basilisks would have died eventually in time so I didn't worry at all. I had 2 burnas and 8 rokkits working their magic to put them out of business. Maybe next time he will try for more strategy but he already told me that he wouldn't play 40k with me anymore (I thik its cuz he lost). Once I figure out his lizardman army he'll probably concede in 2 to 3 turns there too and never play me again. i don't care because he whines too much anyways, I really don't want to play hgim again either.

    Either way you do the math, it all adds up to you goin' down

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  3. #2
    Member typhoon12360's Avatar
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    We've all played against the type before...
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they *****ed me off.

  4. #3
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    thsi isnt on the topic of the battle report, though i do congradulate you on killing off some mon-keigh.

    typhoon, i noticed that you play as siam hann, a choice i have never seen anyone use before and have never considered because the few times i use my jetbikes they are killed almost instantly. so how do you make siam hann work?
    "War is my master; death my mistress."
    - Maugan Ra

  5. #4
    Dancing Peanuts? You bet! Robizzle's Avatar
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    That type of person is annoying. I play that kind all too often. Which is why i only go to Vets nights nowadays - more fun

  6. #5
    Son of LO Silver Wings's Avatar
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    That hurt Robizzle, i dont quit i just turn into a morbid depressed, not too fun to play guy. Like Stu
    Every time you read this sig: a fairie dies!

  7. #6
    Dancing Peanuts? You bet! Robizzle's Avatar
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    106 (x4)

    Hahaha, i wasnt actually referring to you personally. But Stu....yeah. he doesnt count

  8. #7
    Son of LO Silver Wings's Avatar
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    Just cos he beat you and then i thrashed him!

    I will be positive
    I will be positive
    I will be positive (Y)
    I will be positive :lol:
    Every time you read this sig: a fairie dies!

  9. #8
    Dancing Peanuts? You bet! Robizzle's Avatar
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    hahaha, too bad that your beating him has made you completely infamous in GW.

    "Hey there!, which army do you play"

    "Tau"

    "not green Tau?"

    "yes, green Tau"

    "oh god! its you!" *


    that was damned funny.


    * - True story

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