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[/B]Well, one of dese days I knew it was bound to 'appen. Dug's boys was sittin' around making jokes at Big dab and throwin' stuff at 'em. Well Big Dab stood up and bonked Dug on the 'ead and said, "'Ey! Me and my boys are gonna ruff up your yella' yoofs behinds!". Dug replied "Oh yeah? You ain't nearly as 'ard as us, so we'll smash ya!".
Big Dab's Brawlers and Dug's Durty Doodz commenced to 'ead out to the field and get ready to scrap!
:realmad: WAAAAAAAAAGH! :realmad:
(500 point orky combat patrol)
-A Nob is taken in place of warboss for the cost of 20 points. The Nob counts as a Warboss in all respects.
-No 2+ Armour Saves, or models with 3 wounds or higher.
-No Vehicle may be taken with a combined armour value of 31 or more (Front, Side and Rear Armour Combined.)
-Orks don't give a hoot for 'Force Organization', so they need not follow those rules against each other.
Big Dab's Brawlers
Big Dab (Nob) - Headquarters Choice - 51 points
-Two Ammo Runts
Dab's Numba Un' Slugga Boys! - Troop Choice - 159
-12 Boys with Slugga and Choppa
-3 Boys with Big Shoota
Dabs Numba Too Slugga Boys! - Troop Choice - 159
-12 Boys with Slugga and Choppa
-3 Boys with Big Shoota
Dabs Leman Huntaz (Tankbustas) - Troop Choice - 131
-3 Boys with Rokkit Launchas
-7 Boys with Close Combat Weapon and Slugga
(Dab Joins this Unit)
TOTAL - 500 Points
Big Dab's Pregame Lowdown: Dat Dug thinks hes so smart! But he ain't! Not only is my boys bigga and stronga, their smarta! And I'll show him by usin' my kunnin takatiks. I'm gonna hide up my Leman Huntas in some of da buildins and when 'is traks come rushin' past 'em, boom! We come out and whallop them with rokkits! I can't beleev myself 'ow smart I am!
Dug's Durty Doodz
Dug (Nob) - Headquarters - 52 points
-Kustom Slugga (More Dakka)
Dug's Fast Zippas (Trukk Boys) - Fast Attack - 146
-9 Boys with Slugga and Choppa
-1 Boy with Burna
-1 Truck with Red Paint Job, Armour Plates and Grot Riggers and Bolt-on Big Shoota.
Dug's Bad Trakks (Warbuggys) - Fast Attack - 135
-3 Warbuggies with Skorchas, Armour Plates and Grot Riggers.
Dug's Durty 'alf a Dozen or so... (Skarboys) - Elite Choice - 167
-8 Skarboys with Slugga and Choppa and Frag Grenades
-1 Skarboy with Burna and Frag Grenades
-1 Trukk with Red Paint Job, Armour Plates and Grot Riggers and Bolt-on Big Shoot.
(Dug Joins this Unit)
TOTAL - 500 Points
Durty Dug's Pregame Lowdown: Dis 'ill be no sweat off the rear. My boys can beat Dubs with bof' hands tied behind dere backs! And bof' legs! My planz is to rush all of da trakks on one side, then have me and da trukks ride up the uver side! Sneak Attack!
The Field - The Field for the Annual Ork down this month is the barren wastelands south of Dug and Dabs Camp, chosen by their Boss (Big Boss Enchilada). The Field is covered with sand and rocks, with some scattered ruins of buildings near the center. In the Dead Center is where an enormous stadium once stood where the orks battle to see who is Warboss, now it is abandoned except for Warboss Enchilada sitting on top watching the field with his Unoculars.
The Deployment - Durty Dug wins the traditional "Rok, Papa' Skizzors" game to decide who sets up last and goes first. He makes Dab set up first, and Dab starts by setting up his sneaky Tank Busta squad behind some ruined buildings toward the center. Dug goes next and sets up his trukk with da Skarboys in it to his far right.
Now, Dab sets up one of his Slugga Boy Squads midway into his deployment zone a little bit to his left. Then Dug Sets up his Trukk boy squad next to his trukk, revving their engines a bit.
Then, Dab sets up his other Slugga Boy Squad next to other Slugga Boy squad, only this time a little bit to Dab's right. Dug finishes his deployment by setting up the Warbuggies on the other side of his trukks, again, right up against the deployment zone edge. Exactly parallel from the buggies on the other side of the map sit Dab and his tank bustas quietly laughing at their sneakiness behind some ruins.
First Round - Dirty Dug getting to go first, he steps on the engine, making him and his two trukks lurch max speed up the front and stopping softly behind some large rocks. Peakin' over the top of the rock he can see Dabs Slugga Boys messing around in the distance. Next he orders his Warbuggies through his 'Walkee Talkee' to move up next to the stadium full speed.
Next comes Big Dabs turn. He hears the slowly escalating roars of Dugs Buggies closing in on the building. He peaks through the window and sees that they aren't close enough yet, so he hushes his boys and leans back down in to the shadows. He next signals to his ever-watching Slugga Boys to march forward. The slugga boys think they can see a little bit of red trukk through the rocks in the distance, so they order the Big Shootas to fire in their direction. As the 6 Big Shootas chug bullet after bullet towards the trukks, dug tells his boys to keep their heads down. The trukks prove to be to well hidden and the big shootas do nothing shy of chipping off some pebbles on the big rock in front of the trukk...
Second Round - Durty Dug slowly donuts his trukks around and makes them move a little bit to get behind the building right next to the rock. They part the trukk securely out of sight from everything, waiting for Dabs dumb slugga boys to march within charging distance. He 'Walkees' in his Buggies and tells them the coast looks clear to move up Dabs flank. They continue their charge forward and go zipping right by Dabs hiding spot.
Dab and his Boys leap out of their hiding spot and yell, "SNEAK ATTACK!" and begin firing their rokkits like no tomorrow. Dab kicks his ammo runts to help reload the tankbustas rokkits. 2 Rokkits out of the furious salvo end up finding their way into the interior of the buggies, one hitting the skorchas fuel line and blowing the buggies sky high, and the other becomes immobolized. As the smoke cloud clears and the whipping tires bounce around the dirt, Dab and his squig leap out and run towards the buggies. His Slugga boys march dumbly forward, not paying attention to whats in front of them, but rather the battle going on to their right.
Third Round - Dug, getting garbled transmissions from his warbuggy squadron gets angry with the 'kunfangled kuntraption' and throws it out the side of his trukk. He peaks around the corner to see the enemy slugga boys off their guard, sittin' and watching something in the distance. Smackin' the driver, he yells to the other trukk to circle round the right of the building and charge while he circles round the left and charges. They burn rubber out of cover and zip right in to the slugga boys. Screeching the breaks a good 10 feet and propelling themselves skyward they bombard themselves towards the slugga boys. The few slugga boys near the front of their squad turn around just in time to see a cloud of green death raining down on them. After a roaring slugga fire and a gout of burning flames annihilates half of the squad, they scream 'Waaagh!' and go into a choppin' fury, cutting down Big Dabs boys like puny hoomies! Dugs skarboys stand up from a pool of green and red, none of Dabs orks left to hit back. They all leap back on their trukk and get ready to take out the other slugga boy unit. The other trukk pulls up next to Dug only to get bonked by Dug because they took too long to get into battle. "At this rate you boys'll never become big an' tuff cuz you take too long to fight, see?".
Big Dab leaps on to the unscathed Warbuggy and unleashes a plethora of choppa hits on to its hull. The stubborn trakk deflects all of Dabs attacks, but one... Dab grabs his fat Attack squig and plugs up the Skorchas barrel. As the terrified warbuggies tries to melt the retreating Dab, their gun blows up, followed by the rest of the buggy. Dab turns around to see 2 smoking and sizzling trakks and one in a pool of red hot goo. He and his tank bustas, smirkin' and smilin' turn around the edge of building to see his dumb ass slugga boys looking at him, and not the two trukks sneaking up behind them. "TURN AROUND YA BOGGLAZ!". The confused slugga boys turn around and squeal as the two loaded trukks move towards them. They unleash their big shootas again, this time exploding the trukk boy's trukk, leaving them on the ground scratching their heads, and two dead.
Fourth Round - Using his evasive driving, Dug kicks the driver out of the seat and takes the wheel, swirving the the left to get around the building and right into the side of the slugga boys mob. His boys leap out and unleash hell on the slugga boys, but not being as fortunate this time. They manage to kill 8 of the 15 slugga boys. The 7 remaining slugga boys chop and slug back, dropping three of dugs skar boys. Dabs slugga boys see that things don't look too good for them, and yell out "MORK, SAVE 'US!" and head for the hills, but as dugs trukk sits in front of them, and Dugs skarboys sit behind them, they got no where to go! They get chopped and shot down as they cowardly fail to retreat. Seeing that Dab and his tank bustas rear around the corner and get their rokkits ready, Dug yells out to his fellow orks "Get down!" and dives a short distance behind the trukk and out of sight from the rokkits.
Big Dab and his brawlin' Tank Bustas unleash their next flurry of rokkits, sinking into Dugs trukk and blowing it sky high. Big Dab laughs as he sees victory within his grasp.
Fifth Round - Dug praying to Gork and Mork, looks behind him to see that his failure of trukk boys are gone from their wreckage. "Where did those yoofs go to now!?". Dug quickly pulls himself out of his confusion and grabs some of the unconcious skarboys up and drags them toward Dab. "If we're gonna die, we're gonna die fightin' like orks should. We ain't cowards like Dab, sittin' and hidin' the shadows and shootin' from a distance. YA YELLA UMIE SMOOCHIN BASTARDS!" Dug and his weakened mob march solemnly towards their deaths. However, what Dug did not know was that his usually 'retarded' trukker boy mob, not good for nothin', we're gonna make Dug proud. They got out of their trukk earlier and started making their way behind the overconfident Dab...
"READY!? AYME!! FIYAHHH!" Dab yelled, snickering the entire time as his smirkin' leman hunters unleashed their second missile salvo at Dugs wounded skarboys, slowly marching towards them. One Missile lands in front of Dug, blowing dirt and rocks all over, and two find their way into Dug's defenseless skarboy's chests. Dab and his boys are currently unaware of Dugs boys sneaking behind them, getting ready to clobber them and earn some real respect from Durty Dug!
Sixth Round - Just as Dabs tank bustas start reloading their rokkits, the trukkers waaagh and jump on to the backs of Dabs boys. They begin clobbering and bashing, stompin and smashing the crud out of Dab and the leman hunters. The trukk boys may be brave, and they may be tough, but they are still messin' with Big Dab, and he ain't no push over. He pulls out his shiny choppa, and brings it down on on of the trukk boys 'eads, and cuts the bowels out of another. He picks up a third boy and tosses him into the shrap rubbage of the building he was hiding in to. Dug smiles in relief as he sees his boys do 'im proud! He and his skarboys yell out to the trukk boys to take cover. Dab turning around in confusion doesn't notice that the trukk boys just took cover for a reason, and dugs frag greandes rain down upon him and his tankbustas. In this chaos Dug and his Skarboys leap into the frey, and the trukk boys resume their fightin' as well.
As the tank bustas and dugs boys battle it out, Big Dab leaps up on to the nearby platform and calls Dug out. Dug looks up menacingly and tackles Dab. As the two roll around, swinging and cutting furiously at each other, the boys below feel their blood boil and burn with war and they fight 'arder and faster. Big Dab may be strong, but Dug is smart and gots lots of armour and stuff. Dab swings down his axe on to dugs shoulder, tearing in to bionik flesh, and dug counters and snicks at Dabs throat. Dab begins coughin' and chokin', but he isn't done yet. He brings down his mighty axe and lops off Dugs arm. Dug screams in pain and his eyes turn red, with his one hand, he takes his axe and rends through Big Dabs 'eavy armour and bores right through 'im. Dazed and bloody, Big Dab mumbled a few incoherent words before toppling off the platform, and smushing his last tankbusta. Tired and dribbling blood, he climbs down and gives the trukkers some hearty pats on the back. "WE DID IT! WE BEAT DOWN BIG DAB AND 'IS PUNY BOYS. Plus, if I may add, you boys did more dan I expekked of ya. You done me good boys... you done me good. Now that I think about it... My arm really 'urts though, so maybe I should go see a dok..." Dug Yells as he passed out from blood loss. His tough boys sling him over his back and begin the long haul back to camp to get sum food and drinks, and patch their boss back up.
Now don't forget to come back some time... ya hear?
"...a swarm of mechanised locusts sweeping over the land, stripping it bare of resources, bringing death and destruction to anything that stands in its path. Emperor preserve us against the predations of these so-called Orkish cults of speed!" - Cardinal Nomura at the Conclave of Hessen
Hahaha. Really entertaining battle there. Good fluff too.
Loved it when he jammed his Squigg in the Warbuggies barrel
Nice one. (Y)
Nice BR. Does this mean Ork patrols (either 400 or 500) are stronger when using Speed Freeks as opposed to using Footsloggers? What about when playing against other opponents besides other Orks? I thought the trukks would eat away valuable points that could be spend on boyz, especially vs (C)SMs.
A really good battle report, the story line is great, i can just imagine big headed orks fighting out of pure boredom.
Not really because trukks with upgrades are about 45 points, and it means only 1 turn of getting fired at and it guarantees you will get the charge, and the ability to shoot the flame template deep into an enemy unit.
Personally these little combat patrols were made to be fluffy, not necessarily to be competitive. Thanks for the feedback by the way.
I thought the speed freaks would have nailed 'em instantly. Getting the slugga barrage, burna burn, the charge, and the waaaagh would be impossible to stop. Thankfully it was closer than that. And a definite LOL to the squig in the barrel.
+1 reputation point to you.
Last edited by Winters; April 3rd, 2005 at 10:04.
very good i enjoyed reading it remminded me of the old gorkamorka *sighs* good old times
Only The Lost Understand True Terror
Originally Posted by Smeegal
very entertaining post.. i like it very much
makes a small 500 pt game into a very funny story XD.
you have my props.
Great report, very funny :lol:
Now this is a great battle report! It was a joy to read and made me laugh alot!
I cant wait to read some more of your stuff later!