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The Longbeard veteran wiped the foam from his beard and slammed his mug on the table.
"Wench, bring me another Bugman's and I'll spin ye' randy beardlings a tale of high adventure.
"It was a dark night in the Iron Hills. A young beardling came sprinting into the great hall spouting warnings of 'skeletons' and 'chariots'. We Keepers of The Grudges consulted The Book and saw that, indeed, we had a grudge to revenge against these foul Undead. So, we grabbed our axes and headed down to the valley to face the vile Undead who dared trespass on our own birthright!
"The Thane at the time (who's name escapes me), assembled a force of Longbeards (whom I led), warriors, thunderers, miners and a mighty canon, and had us all meet on the field of battle. Across from us we saw not one, not two, not three, but four skeleton driven chariots, and three hordes of skeleton warriors (one of which carried enchanted bows)!
"So, we assembled our force. The canon and thunderers deployed opposite the biggest threat, the chariots; the warriors and longbeards prepared themselves across from the skeleton hordes; and finally, the miners hurried below ground to surprise the enemy."
The Longbeard veteran slammed his once again empty vessel upon the table before him.
"Wench, bring me another (on the house), and I'll treat ye' to the tale of the battle!
"Good, girl... Alright, where was I? Ah yes, the battle!
"The warriors and my Longbeards marched towards the enemy while the thunderers and canon let loose with their missles. The thunderers missed completely, cursing the moonlight. The canon overshot it's target, but established range nonethesless.
"The filthy hordes of the undead shambled towards the mighty defenders of the Iron Hills and their foul stench stung our nostrils! The enemy's necromancers (of whom there were two) were unable to cast, however: Our natural Dwarvish resistance proved too much for their childish trickery...
"The miners appeared sooner than expected on the undead flank, threatening the foul archers. Clearly, these plucky gents were sober and ready when the call to arms was issued! The rest of our battle line marched forth and the canon let loose, destroying a chariot in one shot! The thuderers also targeted the dangerous chariots, but only succeeded in blasting a chunk off one of them...
"Again the undead hordes shambled forth and again their magic was nullified! They took pot shots at the miners but their flimsy arrows proved no match for Dwarvish chainmail!"
At this moment, the venerable Longbeard fell from his stool. He was awoken from his drunken stupor only to pick up the story in mid-stride....
"...The miners did charge the undead archers and exacted a heavy toll, felling many of them in short order with well placed blows from their picks! The warriors and longbeards advanced straight towards the skeletons, unafraid of the foul legions of the undead. The canon let loose again and missed while the thunderers thinned out the ranks of the chariots even further!
"The chariots finally charged at the thunderers and were greeted with hot lead, depleting their foul ranks to just one chariot! The two units of skeleton warriors also charged and although my Longbeards held fast, the cowardly Thane and his bodyguard of warriors fled and were swiftly cut down!
"My Longbeards destroyed the skeletons before them and turned to face the threat of the other regiment who lurked behind them now. Meanwhile the miners, overwhelmed, fled from the battlefield only to be replaced in combat by our rabid Dragon Slayer who destroyed the skeleton archers (and the enemy general) single-handedly with his mighty slayer axes!
"The thunderers held their own for quite some time before falling to the last of the Undead chariots (which apparently carried a mighty hero of some kind). The canon crew were afraid to shoot into the thick of battle for fear of hitting my Longbeards as well as the enemy and they paid for their caution with their lives when the last remaining chariot charged them and ran them through!
"The remaining skeletons charged my Longbeards and were swiftly cut down while the Dragon Slayer emerged from a cloud of bone dust to support our unit.
"Wench, one more Bugman's or I shan't tell the ending! Alright, you've earned it, but don't say I never do anything fer' 'ya!
"...All that remained were my Longbeard retinue, the fearless Dragon Slayer, and the enemy chariot which was picking its way through the shattered remnants of our canon and thunderers!
"The mighty Undead lord on his chariot charged us and was met in mortal combat by the mighty Dragon Slayer! The Slayer was felled (as he laughed and mocked his killer) and the Skeleton lord followed through into my Longbeards who quickly destroyed him.
"The battle was over and my Longbeard brethren stood proud. The battle standard was still in the hands of it's fearless (if somewhat short-bearded) bearer. The Thane, who had disgraced the Iron Hills so, was stricken from the records...
"We always said he was a little 'Elfish'..."
Last edited by TolkeinElf; April 17th, 2007 at 07:55.
Recovering High Elf player.
Wow that Dwarf just keeps talking & talking & talking...& talking.. :sleep:
Interesting way of writing a battle-report! thanks for sharing
(I was hoping the dwarves would lose though!)
Dark Elves - Game #28 vs High Elves: Draw
W L D
21 5 5
'stricken from the records' HA! nice report, glad the army worked for you!
haha nice report. great story telling. and i love the "removed from the records" part. i was cheering for your dwarves the whole time! Though when your warriors got run down, i thought you were in a tough situation! lol
However, if you bring your smelly, drunk dwarves near the woods, we shall shoot you down before you notice you are surrounded for that jest at the elves expense :ninja:
Armies: Wood Elves, High Elves
Warbands Campaign 07: 1st
San Antonio Alamo GT
Thanks for the positive feedback, guys!
I will post some more reports as I get some more experience.
I have another box of warriors and an organ gun to paint up, so I expect more victories in the coming weeks.
Also, this summer's WFB campaign should make for a LOT of battle reports. Cheers,
Recovering High Elf player.
Nice way to write a battle report, a little like the old dwarf army books. I have one issue though. The longbeard would never be drunk! He would be able to drink a whole tavern dry!!!!
3. Marital Bliss 2. Military Intelligence 1. MICROSOFT WORKS
Vassal Record 1-2.