This thread is dedicated to that altogether too easily ignored Chaos God of Fate, the Random Number God, and His Chosen. Now, we all know that statistical probability goes flying out the window as the first casualty of tabletop war, and that Warhammer in specific sees to give off a sort of radiation utterly inimical to random chance.
But this isn't just restricted to Warhammer: All tabletop wargames have similar phenomena.
So, without further ado, relay your own personal Curse (Or Blessing!) of the Dice God - do you always pass your armour saves against Flamers? Do you never roll lower than 10 on the Critical Hits Table? Are your Clanrats utterly immune to shooting, and unable to get in a single hit in CC? Then this is the place to share!

Myself, playing Tomb Kings in WHFB, can relate this story of horror: In all my games of FB, while still below the double digits, the only time I have ever experienced my enemy fail a Fear test is when he has forgotten all about it until after the combat has been resolved.
And I've played over half my games against Skaven, those dastardly berzerkers of steel-coated nerves.
And every single time I try to fire my Screaming Skull Catapult twice in one round, using the Incantation of Now You Die, it either misfires, or ends up hitting my own units, on the second shot.

And now, your turn.

Basilisk Shoots 6 Necron Warriors, 2+ to wound, Rolled five 1's. AIIIIEEEEEE!

My Dreadnoughts never hit in combat.

When snipers hit on 2s, no matter how many dice I rolled I always got a single 1.

My 3+ Saves generally work if I shout 'My Faith has saved me' after I roll (to please the Dice Gods so they give me another batch of good rolls next time)

My Missle launchers in tactical squadsare lucky to hit 2 times a game using Krak.

When scattering my average seems to be about 8" after I remove the BS of my marine.

If I have a devastater with a lascannon he will only roll 1s

Plasma cannons scatter more than frag missles

When shooting, I hit more often with squads of Orks than with squads of Guard.

Whenever I fail a morale test on standard chaos marines with an Icon of Chaos Glory, I seem to fail the reroll as well.

In BB, I find that you roll a 1 when it's least convenient. There is no randomness about it. The dice just know these things.

Personally, I just follow a couple of simple superstitions, and my rolls are rarely extreme, though my game against TKs in a couple of days' time will be interesting, to say the least.

-AFG//

Basilisk Shoots 6 Necron Warriors, 2+ to wound, Rolled five 1's. AIIIIEEEEEE!

My buddy'll do ya one better, try 8 1's...

Either Fantasy or 40k are the games where you can get Yatzee+ at any given time!

I can still beat that

Last turn of the game ... a unit of 11 SOBs with Bolters ... The Chaos heritcs 11 inches away ... RAPID Fire ... 22 dice ... eleven 1s ... Spend the faith point for the re roll ... re roll the 1s and lol and behold .. nine 1s again

I so should have thrown those dice out

Generally my Necrons can make any WBB involving shooting. But a single model charging the immortals will sweep the squad without fail.

When playing against my friend's chaos marines I've never failed to destroy a vehicle with a single glancing hit (4th ed rules).

well, i had a tactical squad parking in a crater, when a wave serpent filled with dire avengers swings by, drops off all their guys, and rapid fire me. now he had his farsser with doom and guide (as you do) and by the end of all his rolls, i had 26 armour saves to make. i failed 20 of them. not happy at all. but what can you do besides laugh? (swear and get a warning from the staff!)

My own worst rolls all occurred in the same game.

Cani takes 3 wounds from 20 bolter shots, I roll 3 1's. Followed by a single wound from 5 more bolters, again I roll a 1.

8 genestealers charge space wolves, roll to hit, and on 24 dice, no sixes. On my ~15 hits I wound twice. He saves both. They swing back, every single attack hits and wounds. No, I am not exaggerating. My stealers all die.

Hive Tyrant charges a different set of wolves, his 6 attacks fail to inflict a wound. They swing back with no power weapons and no fists. My tyrant takes 4 wounds and I roll 3 1's.

That was not my most pleasant game...

Course then there was the time when my one stealer destroyed 20 sisters of battle. (he inflicted one wound, they didn't hurt him, they failed an LD 10 test twice [banner and hero nearby] and got caught when they fled). So I suppose the dice gods don't hate me completely.

My lizardmen Skink Priest in a border patrol game, cast the Comet of Cassandora. Three turns later, It struck. Wiping out a skink unit, 4 saurus warriors and killed the skink priest casting it...

Enemy casualties: 1 Chaos Warrior :freaked-out:

Oh, there was that time when my Tau Battlesuit commander decided to botch the Vortex Grenade only for it to wipe out my entire left flank in just two turns. That's a full squad of Fire Warriors, their Transport, an 18-man kroot unit and a single tree...


-Kai-Itza-

To break away from the mold here. With my three friends that I play the most I have the best of luck rolling. 5 attacks with chaos lord--all hit and all wound and stuff like that. I keep telling them it is because I have a fully painted army and that because I put the most time into gaming I have the best of luck. (Which seems to come true I spend 1 hour a day at least painting and one of my friends hasn't painted a model in a year and a half!)

But I have had my share of bad luck (not that often but when it does AARRGGhHHH!) My first ever tourni my dwarfs vs. empire lord and hammers battling elector count and greatswords. After 4 full turns of combat I finally win and pursue and can't catch his lord. Get flanked by 15 strong flagellents (only have 3 hammers and lord left) lose combat but stubborn at Ld 10 and roll.... 11! I lost the banner they picked up and a 250pt unit and a 300pt lord!

In my entire 10 year career of WH40K, I have only once hit with a meltagun.... once.... and it was not shooting at a tank, it was the meltagun on a LRC, and was so shooting at the same squad I was busy tearing apart with my hurricane bolters...

My orks are and always have been WAY more accurate than my Space Marines, I once beat a tyranid CC army with my ork CC army and not one combat was fought... every time I was about to charge, I would fire my pistols first and end up killing whatever I had planned on charging...

I once had a slaver with a 6+ save 18 or so wounds and then another 24 the next turn, it was insane... He then died after getting into combat with the IG I was fighting and killing 4 of them.

My orks are and always have been WAY more accurate than my Space Marines
NEVER call them Missile launchers. This is because they have the word "miss" in them, which has to be a bad thing. Calling your Rokkits "rokkits" will ensure an increase in accuracy.

-AFG//

This happened all in one match.

Fire Dragons unload into a Land Raider. 5 Penetrating hits. All 1's.

A full squad of Guided Dire Avengers firing with Bladestorm into 5 Termies. 26 Hits. 4 Wounds. Termies make their saves :(

Lascannon penetrates my Wave Serpent, which is carrying Banshees. Rolls a 6 and it explodes. The resultant explosion kills 7 out of 10 banshees.

-_-

Surely they must be blessed by the God Emperor!

Foul Mon-Keigh :freaked-out:



-Kai-Itza-

My lizardmen Skink Priest in a border patrol game, cast the Comet of Cassandora. Three turns later, It struck. Wiping out a skink unit, 4 saurus warriors and killed the skink priest casting it...

Lol bad but not as bad as mine, 1st turn of the game i cast comet with irresistable force, opponent tries to dispell next turn but has only a skaven warlock engineer and fails, turn after he attempts to dispell again but fails during the following magic phase he is killed by my other skink mage priest, 5 turns after i unleashed the comet it hit, i rolled a 6,

6x5=30 ALL MY OPPONENTS UNITS ARE HIT!!! ALL MY UNITS ARE HIT!!! :( luckily for me my opponent had skaven and they tend to run way more easily than lizardmen. game ends with all skaven fleeing and half my troops dead game result draw...

three days later i sacrificed my skink priest to sotek.

Here's a few for you:

-every plasma weapon i use overheats and kills a marine 50% of the time, and only 5% of the time it hits.

-my devastator squad with 2 lascannons and 2 missile launchers has only ever bagged one vehicle and that was my friend's deth dread. and they usually miss half their hits.

-terminus ultra land raider with 3 TL lascannons and 2 regular lascannons...manages to miss more than my friend's lootas who hit only once every shooting phase.

-10 death company on the night bringer, 40 rending attacks...absolutely nothing. and they lose 4 a turn till they died.:freaked-out:

my necron lord gets back up after my friend consolidated and then i get the charge. Usually happens 3-5 times a battle. It drives my friend insane:dance: