Inquisitor Lucius Manda

[nexus-star]

Inquisitor Lucius Manda´s story begins on Cthelle a feral death world near to the
infamous planet of Catachan.
Lucius grew up in one of the most deadly environments that man can immagine.
From his youth he was ignored and hated by most people around him exept for his parents,
but even they had a hard time loving their son.
At the age of 14 Lucius lost both his parents to the harsh environment of Cthelle.
Not long after the death of his parents he was inducted into an Imperial Guard regiment.
This was the hardest time in his life for the young Lucius, all his commerades hated
him and he was always chosen for the most filthy and dangerous tasks by his commanders.
By luck and skill he survived the first 5 years, only growing thougher and stronger by
his treatment.

Somewhere in his 5th year his regiment was assigned to an Inquisitor hunting a large and
powerfull Rouge Trader cell on Cthelle.
After 4 months of hunting the cell through the steaming jungles on Cthelle they finally
found the Rouge Trader cell in an abandoned mine deep in the jungle.

Lucius´s regiment and the Inquisitor´s Retinue did not meet much resistance until they
reached a large chamber deep in the mine.
What they found here would forever change Lucius his life.
Inside of the chamber were the Rouge Traders assambled and in their midds something
much more powerfull...a Daemonhost.

"Fire all at will" Shouted Inquisitor Menetz while blasting at the Daemonhost with his
Psycannon.
"You lot heard the Inquisitor....FIRE!!" Screamed the Sergeant.

The whole regiment of Guardsmen opend fire with their lasguns, cutting down almost
all of the Rouge traders and knocking the Daemonhost a few feet back.

"Ha do you think this will stop us from killing you all here an now" Shouted one of the
Rouge Traders while ducking for cover."Go Menzies, Kill them all"...
...."Yes Master" Replied the Daemonhost while unleashing bolts of pure warp at the
Guardsmen and the Inquisitor.

The Warpbolts killed almost the entire guardregiment but leaving Lucius standing in the middle
unharmed.

"Get in cover you fool" shouted Inquisitor Menetz to the dazed Lucius while pulling him out
of the way from the daemonhost.
"You fire at the Rouge Trader behind that desk, if we can kill him the daemon will probably
evaporate, do you understand" Said Menetz to Lucius.
"Ill fire at the Deamonhost and try to keep him away from us"
"Yessir"Replied Lucius
"Good... on my mark...Fire!!"They both jumped up from their cover and began firing at their
target...only the psycannon did not fire.
"Why? what is this?!!" Shouted Menetz

The Daemon seeing that the Psycannon did not fire Charged straight at the Inquisitor only to
stop 5 meters from both of them.

"You...have an Pariah....with you.....as expected...from an Inquisitor" Said the Daemonhost

"But that....will not save.... you or ....HIM!!" Screamed Menzies, while slashing at Lucius,
ripping a deep gouge in his face.

"That was your last mistake Daemonspawn" Shouted Menetz while running away from Lucius
and the Daemonhost while opening fire with his Psycannon, Shooting the head from the Host
and banishing the Daemon back to the Warp
thus leaving the last Rouge Trader alone in the hands of the Inquisitor.

"Damn you bastard!!" Screamed the Rouge Trader
"You won´t get me alive and if i can take you with me i will do that" He screamed while throwing
an Poisongas Grenade at Menetz, filling the whole room with poisonous gas.

"Damn him" Cursed Menetz,"Fleeing from the Emperor´s Justice"He said while closing the helmet
of his Powerarmor and putting the gasmask on the unconscious Lucius.

This is how Lucius became an valuable "Untouchable" Interrogator under Inquisitor Menetz after
treatment to his head and his lungs from the poisonous gas.
Inquisitor Menetz died from an headshot by an Eldar sniper after teaching Lucius for almost 2 decades
the skills required to become an Full Inquisitor, this he became 2 years after the death of his master.

He eventualy reached the status of Inquisitor Lord after 5 and a half decades thanks to his succesfull
campaign together with an Space Wolfs kill team agains a Thousand Sons Cult, where he proved to be
an powerfull Inquisitor against Psychers.
And for saving the leader of the Space Wolf kill team from the psychic attack from an Thousand Sons Luitenant he was presented by the Space Wolfs with an Frost Blade.

[Adrian MalSeraph]

Hmm... Very tasty.

I like this story, but the only thing that I find odd is that I figured that once he was found out to be an untouchable, wouldn't he be immediately shipped off to the Culexus Temple?

I would also figure he'd be older, to achieve Inquisitior Lord Status, but nothing's impossible. Has his age been affected by Warp Travel at all?

[nexus-star]

Here are the stats for:

Name:Inquisitor Lucius Manda
Age:136 years
Status:Inquisitor Lord
Cost:292.5Pt

Stats:
WS BS St To I Wp Sg Nv Ld Speed
90 70 84 65 90 85 90 95 95 6/7

Armor:
Full Arteficier Power Armor: 11
Full Body Refractor Shield: D10

Equipment:
Frost Blade
Bolter (MK IV Sickle Mag)
1 Bolter Reload
Highly Advanced Bionic Brain
Advanced Bionic-Pair Lungs
Medi-Pack

Skills:
Leader
Swordmaster
First Strike
Parry
Deflect Shot

Exotic Skill:
Pariah

Any Questions or Suggestions?

[nexus-star]

Not all Untouchables are shipped to the Culexus temple, some are taken by inquisitors inn their retinue because they are invaluable agains psychers
and yes he is quite young but also very succesfull because of his Untouchable skill

[Adrian MalSeraph]

Here are the stats for:

Name:Inquisitor Lucius Manda
Age:136 years
Status:Inquisitor Lord
Cost:292.5Pt

Fair enough.



Stats:
WS BS St To I Wp Sg Nv Ld Speed
90 70 84 65 90 85 90 95 95 6/7


Wow, this guy is tough. It only makes sense, he is an =][= Lord, so its only natural to have high stats. Just remember, you're more likely to have fun with lower stats.



Armor:
Full Arteficier Power Armor: 11
Full Body Refractor Shield: D10


Okay, just remember that he gets a XX% Strength bonus from the power armour.



Equipment:
Frost Blade
Bolter (MK IV Sickle Mag)
1 Bolter Reload
Highly Advanced Bionic Brain
Advanced Bionic-Pair Lungs
Medi-Pack


Not bad, no problems here.



Skills:
Leader
Swordmaster
First Strike
Parry
Deflect Shot


Blademaster here is redundant. He isn't carrying a knife on him, so this skill is useless. You could either add a knife or switch for a new power.



Exotic Skill:
Pariah


Fluffy.


Any Questions or Suggestions?

Don't forget that this isn't 40k, you can carry more than two weapons, but just make sure to be reasonable. I don't forsee a character carrying three swords and two large bolters. :tongue:

I'd also think of carrying a basic pistol, you said you wanted him to be and uber CC character, so give him some extra CC punch.

Also, go to the Specialist Games website to download articles for inquisitor, there are some cool character ideas and new rules and equipment to use for inquisitor.

EDIT: @the post above: Fair enough.

Games Workshop Specialist Games (http://www.specialist-games.com)

[nexus-star]

Blademaster is for Daggers and the like but he has Swordmaster:) so that is right:tongue:
and i was thinking about giving him an pistol but i dont know yet:rolleyes:

And you dont want to see the Chaos lord that we have to fight at the end of the campaign:O

[Cheredanine]

OK lets sdeal with the fluff first@

Inquisitor Lucius Manda´s story begins on Cthelle a feral death world near to the
infamous planet of Catachan.
Make a distinction between systems not planets


Lucius grew up in one of the most deadly environments that man can immagine.

Space? Gas Giant? molten lava?


From his youth he was ignored and hated by most people around him exept for his parents,
but even they had a hard time loving their son.
At the age of 14 Lucius lost both his parents to the harsh environment of Cthelle.
Not long after the death of his parents he was inducted into an Imperial Guard regiment.
This was the hardest time in his life for the young Lucius, all his commerades hated
him and he was always chosen for the most filthy and dangerous tasks by his commanders.
By luck and skill he survived the first 5 years, only growing thougher and stronger by
his treatment.

Last sentence is bad grammar, I can see what you are dancing round but think you can state it or present it far better, eg:

From his earliest memeries Lucious found himself an outcast, he made all those around him uncomfortable, even his parents. Unsurprisingly, upon their death when Lucious was 14, no one was prepared to take the strange, unlikeable child on, and he was quickly dispatched into cadette school..etc

Note, do you mean IG or PDF?


Somewhere in his 5th year his regiment was assigned to an Inquisitor hunting a large and
powerfull Rouge Trader cell on Cthelle.
Here and later you seem to missunderstand Rogue traders, a Rogue trader is someone issed with a warrant if you like, they are very powerfull mostly owning ships or even fleets, potentially with forces from the Eclisarchy, IG or even Astares seconded to them, a cell of the? That would be akin to a cell of SM commanders!

Equally, being a Rogue trader does not make you an enemy of the imperium, quite the reverse


After 4 months of hunting the cell through the steaming jungles on Cthelle they finally
found the Rouge Trader cell in an abandoned mine deep in the jungle.

There is that cell again, and jungle or jungles? you donmt need to keep restating the planets name and if it is IG then it is more than likely that it would not be on his home planet

Lucius´s regiment and the Inquisitor´s Retinue did not meet much resistance until they
reached a large chamber deep in the mine.
What they found here would forever change Lucius his life.
Inside of the chamber were the Rouge Traders assambled and in their midds something
much more powerfull...a Daemonhost.
I think you mean midst, and i think this area of the story needs far more detail


"Fire all at will" Shouted Inquisitor Menetz while blasting at the Daemonhost with his
Psycannon.
"You lot heard the Inquisitor....FIRE!!" Screamed the Sergeant.

The whole regiment of Guardsmen opend fire with their lasguns, cutting down almost
all of the Rouge traders and knocking the Daemonhost a few feet back.

Erm, Regiment = 8000+ men conventionally, even elite regiments like 23rd Elysians have in excess of 1000, with a sergent for ever 10 men, a leutenant in charge of each platoon, a captain or Major in charge of each comany and a colonel in charge overal, pluss his staff officers, this would have to be an immense chamber, no way the entire regiment can shoot at a single thing, and there would conventionally be 6-800 Sergents present, which one shouted?


"Ha do you think this will stop us from killing you all here an now" Shouted one of the
Rouge Traders while ducking for cover."Go Menzies, Kill them all"...
...."Yes Master" Replied the Daemonhost while unleashing bolts of pure warp at the
Guardsmen and the Inquisitor.

The Warpbolts killed almost the entire guardregiment but leaving Lucius standing in the middle
unharmed.

Erm that is again way overkill


"Get in cover you fool" shouted Inquisitor Menetz to the dazed Lucius while pulling him out
of the way from the daemonhost.

You may like to rethink this, I for one, should I be the inquisitor, would not be too worried about the last Imperial Guardsman surrounded by 8000 dead ones, and indeed his c hances of reaching him without a two minute jog over the pile of dead boddies would be low


"You fire at the Rouge Trader behind that desk, if we can kill him the daemon will probably
evaporate, do you understand" Said Menetz to Lucius.
"Ill fire at the Deamonhost and try to keep him away from us"
"Yessir"Replied Lucius
Hmm nice of the baddies to wait politely whilst they had this little chat

"Good... on my mark...Fire!!"They both jumped up from their cover and began firing at their
target...only the psycannon did not fire.
"Why? what is this?!!" Shouted Menetz

The Daemon seeing that the Psycannon did not fire Charged straight at the Inquisitor only to
stop 5 meters from both of them.

"You...have an Pariah....with you.....as expected...from an Inquisitor" Said the Daemonhost

"But that....will not save.... you or ....HIM!!" Screamed Menzies, while slashing at Lucius,
ripping a deep gouge in his face.

"That was your last mistake Daemonspawn" Shouted Menetz while running away from Lucius
and the Daemonhost while opening fire with his Psycannon, Shooting the head from the Host
and banishing the Daemon back to the Warp
thus leaving the last Rouge Trader alone in the hands of the Inquisitor.

"Damn you bastard!!" Screamed the Rouge Trader
"You won´t get me alive and if i can take you with me i will do that" He screamed while throwing
an Poisongas Grenade at Menetz, filling the whole room with poisonous gas.
yuou dont need to keep restating poison gas[/quote]
"Damn him" Cursed Menetz,"Fleeing from the Emperor´s Justice"He said while closing the helmet
of his Powerarmor and putting the gasmask on the unconscious Lucius.

This is how Lucius became an valuable "Untouchable" Interrogator under Inquisitor Menetz after
treatment to his head and his lungs from the poisonous gas.
Inquisitor Menetz died from an headshot by an Eldar sniper after teaching Lucius for almost 2 decades
the skills required to become an Full Inquisitor, this he became 2 years after the death of his master.

He eventualy reached the status of Inquisitor Lord after 5 and a half decades thanks to his succesfull
campaign together with an Space Wolfs kill team agains a Thousand Sons Cult, where he proved to be
an powerfull Inquisitor against Psychers.
And for saving the leader of the Space Wolf kill team from the psychic attack from an Thousand Sons Luitenant he was presented by the Space Wolfs with an Frost Blade.[/QUOTE]
A little unlikely, there are not a lot of those to go around, they dont appear much under the Xmas tree on Fenris

Sorry if that sounded harsh, but I think it needs work, on the other hand the fact Iread it to the end means at least it has potential

As for the character, he is exceedingly over powered, frankly I would tell anyone wanting to use him in my campaigns where to go.
Now if you are facing an army of similar characters then fine, but really then it becomes about powergaming, which is not really what =][= is about

Again, sorry, not putting it as nicvely as Adrian, but most of this is explained in the inquistor books, =][= isnt about who has teh biggest gun, it isnt a classical RPG like D&D but a narative one, a good GM will play you out the campaign

[nexus-star]

OK lets sdeal with the fluff first@
Make a distinction between systems not planets

Space? Gas Giant? molten lava?

Last sentence is bad grammar, I can see what you are dancing round but think you can state it or present it far better, eg:

From his earliest memeries Lucious found himself an outcast, he made all those around him uncomfortable, even his parents. Unsurprisingly, upon their death when Lucious was 14, no one was prepared to take the strange, unlikeable child on, and he was quickly dispatched into cadette school..etc

Note, do you mean IG or PDF?
Here and later you seem to missunderstand Rogue traders, a Rogue trader is someone issed with a warrant if you like, they are very powerfull mostly owning ships or even fleets, potentially with forces from the Eclisarchy, IG or even Astares seconded to them, a cell of the? That would be akin to a cell of SM commanders!

Equally, being a Rogue trader does not make you an enemy of the imperium, quite the reverse

There is that cell again, and jungle or jungles? you donmt need to keep restating the planets name and if it is IG then it is more than likely that it would not be on his home planetI think you mean midst, and i think this area of the story needs far more detail

Erm, Regiment = 8000+ men conventionally, even elite regiments like 23rd Elysians have in excess of 1000, with a sergent for ever 10 men, a leutenant in charge of each platoon, a captain or Major in charge of each comany and a colonel in charge overal, pluss his staff officers, this would have to be an immense chamber, no way the entire regiment can shoot at a single thing, and there would conventionally be 6-800 Sergents present, which one shouted?

Erm that is again way overkill

You may like to rethink this, I for one, should I be the inquisitor, would not be too worried about the last Imperial Guardsman surrounded by 8000 dead ones, and indeed his c hances of reaching him without a two minute jog over the pile of dead boddies would be low
Hmm nice of the baddies to wait politely whilst they had this little chatyuou dont need to keep restating poison gas
"Damn him" Cursed Menetz,"Fleeing from the Emperor´s Justice"He said while closing the helmet
of his Powerarmor and putting the gasmask on the unconscious Lucius.

This is how Lucius became an valuable "Untouchable" Interrogator under Inquisitor Menetz after
treatment to his head and his lungs from the poisonous gas.
Inquisitor Menetz died from an headshot by an Eldar sniper after teaching Lucius for almost 2 decades
the skills required to become an Full Inquisitor, this he became 2 years after the death of his master.

He eventualy reached the status of Inquisitor Lord after 5 and a half decades thanks to his succesfull
campaign together with an Space Wolfs kill team agains a Thousand Sons Cult, where he proved to be
an powerfull Inquisitor against Psychers.
And for saving the leader of the Space Wolf kill team from the psychic attack from an Thousand Sons Luitenant he was presented by the Space Wolfs with an Frost Blade.[/QUOTE]
A little unlikely, there are not a lot of those to go around, they dont appear much under the Xmas tree on Fenris

Sorry if that sounded harsh, but I think it needs work, on the other hand the fact Iread it to the end means at least it has potential

As for the character, he is exceedingly over powered, frankly I would tell anyone wanting to use him in my campaigns where to go.
Now if you are facing an army of similar characters then fine, but really then it becomes about powergaming, which is not really what =][= is about

Again, sorry, not putting it as nicvely as Adrian, but most of this is explained in the inquistor books, =][= isnt about who has teh biggest gun, it isnt a classical RPG like D&D but a narative one, a good GM will play you out the campaign[/QUOTE]

First i lkie to say that this is my first try ever on a Roleplaying Character and he did not seem to overpowerd to me for an Inquisitor Lord.
and for spelling, i am not english and its quite difficult to write a whole story.
third you asked for some things that are explained later like, what regiment? IG PDF and what kind of deathworld

Grtz Nexus

[Cheredanine]

ok not worried about spelling, a spell checker will sort that, grammar is a little different, but even so,

Stuff that needed some detail - IG is distinct from PDF, what you are describing, particularly since it takes place on his home world, is probably PDF

or are you asking me to explain what PDF is?

You really dont seem to understand Rogue Traders

[nexus-star]

I know what rouger Traders are and what status they have in the Imperium, but you can´t say that they can´t turn to chaos and i think Inquisitors are the only people who can go against an Rouge Trader.
I also know the difference between IG and PDF and the IG is not restricted to off planet fights only.

[Cheredanine]

I know what rouger Traders are and what status they have in the Imperium, but you can´t say that they can´t turn to chaos and i think Inquisitors are the only people who can go against an Rouge Trader.
Yet curiously you think they operate in Cells?
Inquisitors can certainly take action against RTs, however, so can most authorities within the imperium
RTs can certainly turn to Chaos, although classically they are more commonly asociated with activities to do with Xenos, that shouldnt effect your story


I also know the difference between IG and PDF and the IG is not restricted to off planet fights only.
Planets Raise PDFs to defend themselves (hence the name) they are under the control of the planetary Guvernor

IG is a centrally controlled army, clasically a tithe of IG soldiers or units are provided by the planetary governor to the IG, these are usually, although not exclusively, taken from the PDF. Mostly they opperate off their own world (worlds strong enough to produce both PDF and IG rather tahn just PDF dont tend to need standing IG garrisons) ecept for a few famous military worlds such as Cadia, even then the home world, 13th crusade excepted, is used as a training and recruiting area, 99% of Cadian IG actions are offworld

[Precinct Omega]

Rouge = A cosmetic usually used to redden cheeks and/or lips

Rouge Trader = Interplanetary Avon Lady

The word you are searching for is "rogue".

You make a decent fist of attempting to explain how a pariah became an Inquisitor, although I still find it a stretch of the imagination that he would manage to be be commissioned after the demise of his sponsor, under these circumstances. It is even more of a stretch to believe that this unfortunate - cursed to be reviled and outcast by all he meets - is likely to manage to develop the networks, alliances and friendships necessary to secure an elevation to the post of Inquisitor Lord.

That said, he is equipped like an Inquisitor Lord. In fact, with his power armour, refractor shield and immense sword and gun, why is he not out on the battlefields of the Imperium smiting evildoers? As the redoubtable Charax would put it:

"Welcome to the Inquisition. Here's your standard issue power armour, bolter and frost blade. Oh, and we have special on refractor fields this week."

What I'm getting at is that this isn't really the sort of guy who should be sneaking around the sewers, rooftops, catacombs and back alleys that are the usual backdrop to INQ scenarios.

My main point, though, is nothing to do with design and everything to do with practicality.

You've never played INQ before. You don't have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the rulebook. Are you sure that you'll remember how Deflect Shot works? Does he test against Initiative or Weapon Skill? And what proportion of the roll must he achieve to deflect the shot back at the shooter? And if he does so, does he need to test as for shooting to see if he hits? Can you remember? What percentage bonus to Resistance tests do Advanced bionic lungs grant? What effect will a haywire grenade have on his highly advanced bionic brain? (Good luck with that, by the way!) What's the total damage done by a Frostblade hit? Don't forget to add his Strength bonus! Did you remember to take the strength enhancement of the power armour into account when you calculated the Strength bonus?

Done all that? Good. Now you've still got three actions left. And there are two other guys waiting for their turn.

My point being that INQ is a highly complex, detailed game before you unleash the vast powers of psychic abilities, special abilities, bionics, power weapons, armour etc.

So I suggest putting Lucius to one side for now. Design for him a follower. Someone young and inexperienced but who nevertheless possesses a certain spark that Lucius has identified. Give him some basic weapons and armour, maybe one special ability to represent that "spark" - keep his stats below 70. Now play six, seven, eight games with just this character.

By that point, you should have a firm enough grip of the basic rules to be able to up the ante.

Design another follower. Make him a bit more of a veteran, perhap with one stat up in the 80s. Perhaps he could be a psychic. Now play four or five games using BOTH of these characters.

Now come back to Lucius. I expect you'll want to make some changes at this point.

Regards,

R.

[Cheredanine]

that is absolutley spot on advice for anyone starting an inq character/warband

[The_Giant_Mantis]

Another way to look at it is in terms of pros and cons..

Don't take this the wrong way.. But I think you've done what a lot of people just starting Inquisitor do and completely misjudged the tone of the game.

Your inquisitor has high stats, power armour, a force field, is immune to psychic powers and has powerful ranged and melee weaponry. Have you considered how anyone's going to kill him? A lascannon is going to have trouble punching through his armour, and without the ability to be hurt by psychic powers there really is no way around it (save perhaps gas, as in the story) Meanwhile, with a frostblade, high strength and a bolter he's going to be cleaving his opposition apart in both range and melee..

The only way to challenge him would be to wield out a similarly overpowered character like a space marine and just have them stand there for about 30 turns whacking each other until one of them finally dies. That's a very boring game. Inquisitor is supposed to be exciting and dramatic.. There is no drama in ironclad titans slogging away.

This is why I'd suggest a pros and cons system.. For each character, think of one way you want them to be strong, and for every one of those, pick another trait you want to be weak (relative to their character type, 'weak' for an inquisitor lord is different to 'weak' for a mutant.) If they have strong armour, make them weak against psychic powers. If they have powerful psychic powers, give them bad physical armour. If they have strong ranged attacks, give them a bad melee weapon. You get the idea.. This kind of thing makes for a much better games, with dramatic characters who are tooled for specific roles rather than generic walking tanks.


Blademaster is for Daggers and the like but he has Swordmaster:) so that is right:tongue: :x

Oh look at me.. I critical every time I hit, with my frostblade! One hit kill 4TW!

Have you wondered why they restricted that skill to daggers, and didn't even allow power daggers?

[Precinct Omega]

Oh yes - the Mantis raises a good point. Swordmaster and Parry aren't real abilities. You've either made them up or pinched them off a fansite (probably Nexushive). This isn't bad per se - making up new abilities is half the fun! - but is probably better reserved until you understand the implications of a new ability.

In any case, if Swordmaster is like Blademaster, except with swords, then it won't have any effect on your character, because he is wielding a Frostblade which certainly doesn't fall within the parameters of a "mundane" sword.

R.