My First Story..... - Warhammer 40K Fantasy
 

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Ghost22's Avatar
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    This is my first ever Warhammer based story that I've ever done and I'm only new to the site so I hope you like it.

    'My life is a dream, or, more of a nightmare. I must return to what I once had, but cannot, for Chaos turned me, without my knowledge. I seek revenge, but cannot fight alone, but no-one will fight with me. I am damned to all eternity running from those who I faithfully served and those I did not.'

    Thirty years ago............

    Private Bergenstien walked along in his usual position, he was leading his ten man squad through a ruined city of the Imperium.
    There was a crack as a bolter shell smashed through plasteel and just missed Bergenstien's neck.
    "Get down!" screamed his Sergeant as he lobbed a grenade through the hole that had been blasted through the wall with the bolters.
    There was a boom as the grenade shattered and brought the decrepid roof down ontop of whoever was inside.
    "Bergenstien, take Meckleriege and Stienberger and check the rear, if there are more heretics they'll be trying to escape no doubt."
    Bergenstien stood up and brushed off his uniform.
    "Yes sir."
    He slung the strap of his Lasgun back over his shoulder and crept through the opening.

    EDIT: Next Part.

    Bergenstien clambered through the rubble of destroyed floorboards.
    Meckleriege and Steinberger followed at either side of him with Lasguns covering the windows on the opposite wall.
    Bergenstien jumped from a large piece of the flooring that had stayed intact and landed infront of the doorway.
    Half the door was missing and after he'd landed there was the crack of Lasguns from outside.
    Steinberger and Meckleriege jumped down and took up positions at the shattered windows.
    Bergenstien peered out into the dusty street and saw Sergeant Meckleriege taking cover behind a ruined Chimera further down the main street.
    "Quick we have to help the Sergeant!" he said as he swung his Lasgun round and took aim.
    One of the heretics heads appeared around the door and straight into Bergenstien's Lasgun barrel.
    There was a crack and a short scream before the headless body fell to the floor infront of Bergenstien.
    "Damn heretics! They think they're bloody invincible don't they!" he muttered before picking himself up off the floor and running out into the fray.

    EDIT: Yet more...

    Bergenstien was crouched low behind a crumbling old wall as another squadron of heretics came running towards him.
    "For the Emperor!" one shouted as they grew close.
    "HOW DARE THEY!" bellowed Steinberger, "THEY MOCK US!"
    He pelted Lasgun shots into the men as they charged into his Sergeant's squad.
    "Quick, hit their flank!" yelled Bergenstien as he cracked off a few more rounds from his Lasgun taking down more of the traitors.
    He sprinted across the destroyed road and joined the gruelling close combat.
    His Lasgun butt conected with a soldiers face and there was a snap before the soldier fell to the floor with a broken neck.
    "Take that you b*stard!"
    The traitors began to pull back from the fighting and were retreating to the south side of the river that ran past the city.
    A call came through on the vox-communicator which Bergenstien picked up.
    "All units............low the heretics unt......hey reach the rive......e'll chase them down ther...."
    "What's happening?" asked Meckleriege as he reloaded his Lasgun.
    "Sounds like we're chasing them back to the river." replied Bergenstien as he climbed into the rear of a Chimera that had just pulled up.
    The rest of his squad was inside and as him, Meckleriege and Steinberger took the remaining seats the troop transport churned away from the crumbling buildings and towards the only bridge across the river.


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  3. #2
    Member Wilhelm_III's Avatar
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    Looks good, although I already know what is going to happen. Would you be offended if I guessed?

  4. #3
    Senior Member Ghost22's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Wilhelm_III@Jun 3 2004, 08:49
    Looks good, although I already know what is going to happen. Would you be offended if I guessed?
    No because if its right I'll have time to think of something different to put!

  5. #4
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    Its very good, bergensteins tough as nails, it needs more detail though, i.e which heratics, how long have they been fighting ect. basically just background info
    Station:in all the world of the drow there is no more important word.It is the calling of their-of our-religion,.ambition overrides good sense and compassion is thrown away in its face, all in the name of the spider queen.


  6. #5
    Veteran Sgt. ElGrun's Avatar
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    Enjoying reading it...continue continue

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