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ok, so this is my first attempt at writing some fiction for 40k. Eventually the story will end up helping to explain why my tyranid army is the way it is; but for now, it's just something to do. Hope you enjoy
Classification: Alpha Level Intelligence
Encryption: Helius v 2.5
Date: 999. M41
Author: Inquisitor Jorken Rovel, Ordo Malleus
Subject: Urgent. Need your help.
Recipient: Inquisitor Kryptman, Reductus Sector, Bakka
My old friend,
Although you may not know it, the Carta Extremis that was issued against you has been revoked. Your actions in delaying Hive Fleet Leviathan and in forcing the orks from the Octavius Empire to cease attacks against the Imperium and defend their own worlds at the same time greatly impressed the High Lords of Terra. They believe that your actions were those of a true servant of our Emperor, for you bought us valuable time. I, of course, never doubted you.
Now, to business. My current location is Schindelgheist. I am here mainly because I have long had a theory concerning a relationship between the sentience that we call the Hive Mind and the lack of daemonic activities and entities in the warpspace surrounding tyranid hive fleets. I have attached a copy of this theory for your contemplation (datatranscript 725dm4.842). When I heard of tyranid activity in the Schindelgheist system, I travelled there immediately to test my theory and counteract the xenos-threat. Upon reaching Schindelgheist, I established my base of operations there and sent an expedition to Papas, a registered necron tomb world that showed the most recent signs of tyranid activity.
To my dismay, not only was Papas transformed into a planet of lifeless rock, as is the norm for planets conquered by the tyranids, but there was no evidence of the necron army that has slumbered underneath its crust for countless millenia. As there is no evidence of a necron fleet leaving either the system or the planet, I have assumed that, when the necrons at the presence of life on their planet only to find it being assaulted by the tyranids, they teleported themselves to safety. However, I am finding it difficult to dispel a niggling doubt that the necrons did not manage to escape Papas.
The tyranids are moving through the system towards Schindelgheist, scouring its worlds of life as they do so. You have fought these abominations for nigh on two hundred and fifty years. You are our greatest hope of destroying these creatures. I need your help!
If I am killed or forced to leave my base for any reason, this message will be sent to you along with the most recent version of my log (datatranscript 725dm4.839). I fear, my old friend, that by the time you receive this message, I will be long dead.
So, what do you think? All C+C is welcome. Soon to come: Jorken's theory and personal log!
Swarbie of the Hive Mind
"I believe radicalism is inevitable"- Inquisitor Gideon Ravenor
Not bad, especially for a first effort. You seem to have the 'Inquisitorial communication' style worked out quite well.
Towards the end of the piece, though... If there's one thing I've noticed about Inquisitors, it's that they're never really all that direct. "I need your help" and the bit about "If I am killed..." just don't seem like something they'd say.
Maybe "I am in urgent need of your aid" and "If, for some reason, I fall to the alien menace..."
Other than that, a well written piece.
And, if I may hazard a guess... Your Tyrannids have melded with the Necrons? That sounds like quite an interesting army!
Good guess, but just a little off.
My idea about the part at the end was that it should show just how close they are.
You know, worked for the same master, fought over the same futuristic babe, made up when said futuristic babe started going out with their master, closest friends possible, know each other so well that they keep finishing each other's sentences....
Basically, I'm giving Kryptman a motive to do something dark and possibly heretical if Jorken ends up dying (not sure if he will, but it's possible). If Jorken does die, Kryptman will keep fighting. NOT to stop the alien menace but to wreak havoc on the tyranid race in revenge of his friend's death. He's going to become slightly more than genocidal if Jorken dies.
This also allows for some interesting moments written from either Jorken or Kryptmann's views in combat together, where they're getting flashbacks of their possibly misspent youth together, really fuelling them to keep on fighting.
Essentially, that last bit's in there to make the story more flavoursome than a traditional, bland "Inquisitor vs The Alien Menace" type story.
Still, thanks for the advice. I took a lot of reference from the prologue of Dan Abnett's book "Malleus" to help me with the Inquisitorial communique style writing. It also took me ages to work out where in the galaxy Kryptmann would be, even with the help of my bro's Ork Codex and the galactic map in one of the WD magazines. Then all I had to do was place Jorken in a place close enough to receive help from Kryptmann. I also noted that the Salamanders chapter's home world, Nocturne, was almost closer than Kryptmann was. Maybe they should join in too...
Swarbie of the Hive Mind
Ignore a threat to humanity, and it will grow. Cast them into the outer darkness, before they take you with them.
Sorry it's taken so long, but here's a rough draft for Jorken's theory. I am planning to extend this a bit and go over it again to make sure it's just the way I want it, so please offer comments or constructive criticism if you feel the need. Without further ado, here it is.A Theory Concerning The Relationship Between Tyranids And The Immaterium
By Inquisitor Jorken Anateus Rovel, Ordo MalleusMany tyranid organisms exhibit astonishing speed, strength and resilience. However, examinations of both living and deceased tyranid organisms by Magos Tath, my biology expert, have yielded the conclusions that these traits should not be so exaggerated in any living organisms.
For example, the close-combat oriented genus of tyranid gaunt known as the hormagaunt has been tracked moving at speeds in excess of 150 km/h over extended periods of time. Even taking into account a hormagaunt's lightened endo-and-exoskeletons, aerodynamic shape, lengthened stride and hyper-dense muscle structure, speeds like that should be impossible.
With the aid of several of my astropaths, Magos Tath has managed to conclusively prove that many tyranid organisms, from the hive fleet I am currently fighting at least, have a distinguished, physical presence in warp-space. Evidence of this presence came when one of my astropaths was physically torn to shreds while conducting a psychic examination of a live tyranid genestealer. After the astropath had psychically depicted the creature's aura and warp-presence on the physical plane, what I have termed a "warp-copy" of the genestealer appeared. It was almost identical to the original genestealer, but the colours were much darker and its eyes seemed to glow with energy. This apparition leapt across the chamber and destroyed the astropath before turning on Magos Tath and myself. It seemed immune to damage and would not die until the two battle-brothers from the venerated Grey Knights chapter that were accompanying me purged its presence with holy fire from their incinerators.
This encounter has brought me to four basic conclusions. Firstly, navigation in places conquered by tyranids is nearly impossible because their presence purges the warp of any "landmarks" used by Navigators. Second, the tyranid race exists simultaneously in the Immaterium and real-space, and their creatures can draw strength from both planes. Third, it is this leeching effect upon the Immaterium in their presence that stops psykers nearby them from using their powers. And fourth, the tyranid race is more dangerous than we ever could have imagined.
What do you think? Please offer some advice to help me on the way.
Space Marines- The ultimate representation of 'Bros before Hoes'