Preview Of A Work In Progress - Warhammer 40K Fantasy
 

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  1. #1
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    The Eldar squad quickly reformed their formation (didn't know how else to say it ideas please). The brutal assault left five of their crew dead. Jon steadied his gun as he waited for the Space Marine Army to advance. Another quick glace over his squad showed that he was not the only one fearing what was to come. (while thats all for now don't have time to post the rest.)


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  3. #2
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    tad bit short isn't it?
    --no offense though

  4. #3
    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    Very short. Hideously slow. Jon, a name for an eldar? Use Eldrad.

    The remaining guardians reformed and steeled themselves for the next assault from the space marines, their previous one costing five of their number.Eldrad spared a glance over his shoulder to assess his squad. The guardians were nervous, and hands gripped the stocks of their shuriken catapults in tense anticipation.
    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

  5. #4
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    Okay than this story now belongs to you if you know how to write than write it if you read the post it said that it was all i could get on at the time. *cough* Jerk

  6. #5
    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    I assumed, you arrogant little git, that you were asking for aid, since it was so shite, sorry, short, and hence not worthy of being submitted. You should simply have saved it in Word or Notepad rather than posting such an insignificant amount of text.
    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

  7. #6
    Senior Member MasterBelial's Avatar
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    No need to start verbal abuse here. Keep it civil
    Master Belial

    'But for corruption thou hast made Belial, an angel of hostility. All his dominions are in darkness, and his purpose is to bring about wickedness and guilt. All the spirits that are associated with him are but angels of destruction.

  8. #7
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    Inquisitor, just to tell you that it was a preview of a work if you didn't already know. Since you said it was short I asume you didn't know.
    Like MasterBelia said, please you two don't fight over something thats stupid to fight over.

  9. #8
    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    Even as a preview, it is so utterly insignificant as to even be posted.

    Heaven forbid he give a little information as to how he intends the storyline to develop.
    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

  10. #9
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    Yea, he probably should of posted a intro or something but oh well. Lifes just to short to be complaining about stuff that doesn't even matter.

  11. #10
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    Give the guy a chance...
    Although it maybe isn't right to post such a short story here, he should at least still get a chance to expand the story he's starting here.
    Personally I think it was a bit short, but if he could expand it it could turn out to be pretty good...
    check out my blog: DRAGONSLAYERO

    HEY!
    I WAS IN THE IMPERIAL (Norwegian) GUARD!

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