My 40k poetry, critique it please. - Warhammer 40K Fantasy

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  1. #1
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    y u wana kno
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    My 40k poetry, critique it please.

    Something I've been working on for a few hours, hope you like it. The style is supposed to be about belonging, also it's not supposed to rhyme. Note I also just edited it so it has one extra stanza than it did before.
    In the 41st Millennium
    A time of unbalance
    A time where man must once again
    Sacrifice all he can to insure survival
    Trust only those of his species
    Mimicking that of his beginning
    To stretch further and push away his end
    But in the material world
    Things are destined for such a fate

    Ruled by a very powerful man
    Known to them as the ‘God-Emperor’
    The mighty Imperium
    An expansive Empire
    Over a million worlds strong
    Harbouring the greatest of weaponry
    Such destructive power all for the design of protection
    Protection via any means
    Against those who defy his might
    Aliens, Heretics, traitors
    Mankind has evolved to such a point
    That even he is his own enemy

    A group of people, so bizarre are they
    They hold the markings of reptiles
    Scaly skin that can change colour at will
    Big, round cat-like eyes that can focus on dust
    Tall, athletic build allowing them to run like wind
    To climb trees like a skink and read the stars
    People who can tame even the most savage of animals
    And create spiritual bonds, friendships

    Humans, truly a distrusting and xenophobic race
    Even differences upon their own
    Was viewed upon as impure heresy
    Cursed upon by evil beings from another dimension,
    Human society’s superstitious beliefs
    Had halted its progression
    Regressing into ignorance of science
    An overall anti-intellectual attitude
    Society now had resembled the Dark Ages

    The Reptile men, considered abhumans
    They’re beliefs and culture
    Seen as alien heresy, against his might
    An excuse for bloody violence
    Using religious scribes to excuse their prejudice
    The imperials doing what they could to keep society ‘pure’
    Eventually the Emperor had found out about these Reptile people
    While he still lived
    He allowed them citizenship
    And kept most of this society sane and sensible

    Within these Half-men
    He saw humans, people who like him
    Felt Fear and Desire
    Wanted only a life unrestricted by verbal jaws
    Unrestricted by judgment and oppression
    An addition to Mans fight against his alien foes
    They are given citizenship into the Imperium
    Considered members of the Human race

    However there were still rumours esculated by Paranoia
    Fear, Anger, Hatred
    These were the feelings of the general public
    Rumours that these Reptile people were evil
    That they had intentions against the Imperium
    That they, like a disease would destroy this body from the inside
    Causing anarchy and the end to Humankind
    How stupid they were, such mass ignorance
    To project the qualities of Mans mortal enemies
    Onto a group of people who gracefully cook for them
    And expect nothing in return
    These were people who had the strongest of work ethics
    The Entitlement Complex was dead within them

    One of his most valued apprentices
    A narcissistic and arrogant man, has betrayed his will
    A mass civil war
    Thousands die in his name and against it
    In the end of the heresy
    The Emperor is severely wounded
    By the one who vowed to serve him until death?
    He loses control of his Empire
    His place is taken by others who ‘know’ his word
    Most abhumans are shunned from Imperial Society
    The Reptile men are the first, never to be seen
    Not for eons to come
    They’re never to be citizens
    Forced to fight alone
    Or to create an alliance with one of his foes
    Choice is non-existent here

    Last edited by Stdman; June 5th, 2009 at 06:29.

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  3. #2
    Member TheAndyman's Avatar
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    i never thought of poetry when someone mentioned warhmmer 40k, but i like it. keep up the good work!
    "Hmmm. Maybe we should try that again." "Oh, for Emperor's sake, do I have to do everything myself?" "Asuryshan XXII at your service"

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