Welcome to Librarium Online!
Join our community of 80,000+ members and take part in the number one resource for Warhammer and Warhammer 40K discussion!
Registering gives you full access to take part in discussions, upload pictures, contact other members and search everything!
this is my story regarding my Dark Angels successor The Shadow Angels.
it will evolve as I play games, so while I have a general direction that I'm heading for, I have no idea how it will actually evolve. My chapter might become one of glory and great feats, or a doomed chapter that only knows tales of despair.
I'm curious to see how this experiment goes.
As of yet no games played and won't be for a while, but I have plenty of stuff to write about prior to that. (I've the story from the first game out at bit together with the friend I'm playing Warhammer 40k with) So I know towards what event I'm writing to.
I hope you all enjoy!
It had been a tiring day for Razhiel, problems kept rising and for every problem solved numerous more were discovered.
It had been raining on Balerius and his bone white armour was now stained with mud and dirt, but he couldn't care less, for it was the least of the things demanding his immediate attention. He left muddied footprints on the greyish floor of the Battle Barge Shadow Stalker, and upon opening the door to his chambers the lights automatically went on, illuminating his desk and the great stacks of reports and inquiries brought by a member of his support staff that littered the desk and Razhiel couldn't help but to let out a sigh as he looked at his activity for the coming hours, reading and writing.
He walked over the cold steel floor towards his favourite object in this whole Throne damned room. He had kept his chambers simple and bare, the only form of real luxury being the coffee dispenser beneath which was a fresh tankard of coffee ready for him at all times, for Razhiel was long past the consumption of mere cups. After grabbing the tankard he walked to his desk and rested his tired form in the large wooden chair.
It was time to get to work.
He had finished reading the report of Captain Persivar of the Third Company, it was his weekly report on the status of the vehicles. It seemed that two of the Landspeeders had been damaged while patrolling the area around the Dark Temple, an area that the Chapter guarded to keep people away from it, for the taint of chaos was strong there and people would be driven insane by the dark powers that resided there. The patrol had been attacked by a pack of Sabre Boars, large and aggressive animals who towered even above the Astartes. It massive bulk formed up behind four massive tusks that protruded from his mouth. They were razor sharp and strong enough to puncture the relatively weak armoured plating of the scouting vehicles, which of course had happened. The damage was only minor and was repaired the following day. A small personal note was added to this by the Apothecary saying that none of the Battle Brothers were injured, and Razhiel grinned when he read that; Persivar was a brilliant commander and the best pilot of a Landspeeder he had ever seen, yet he always looked after the vehicles first and his subordinates second.
A knock on the door shook Razhiel out of his thoughts.
"Enter," Razhiel shortly barked, while placing one hand on his bolt pistol's grip; one could never be too careful.
It was Farol, advisor and leader of his personal guard.
"My Lord." Farol said "There seems to be an increase in the amount of people attempting to enter the Temple, it won't be long before some slip past."
Rhaziel cursed as he thought about a solution, it was a few moments before he came up with a quick but temporary one. "Let the recruits patrol on foot, arm them with locator beacons in case of immediate need of support, which shall be provided by elements of the Third Company already on site." When he saw Farol slightly raise one of his eyebrows Razhiel lowered his head and added with an voice showing his exhaustion.
"This is only temporarily, we will speak to the elders of all the tribes in next month' gathering." Razhiel had expected Farol to back away now and relay the orders down the chain of command, but instead the Master of the Guard remained where he was, he wasn't at ease.
This time Razhiel raised an eyebrow before standing up and addressing Farol with a stern tone in his voice.
"Farol, we have been Brothers for centuries, we fought side by side countless times and saved each other more times than there are trees on our homeworld. By all means I regard you as a Brother in arms and in bond, and I believed you felt the same. Was I wrong?"
Farol clearly was surprised by those words, for Razhiel never had spoken about the bond they had formed,
"No my Lord,it's ju..."
Razhiel cut him off.
"There are few people who may call me by name, you are one of those and I'd appreciate it if you did so, no what is the matter my Brother?"
"Inquisitor Morax has enquired as to the whereabouts of Master Cruseor again, he is losing his patience.."
" That Throne damned Inquisitor!"Razhiel cursed "Can't he see we have other matters to attend to, I've told him I'll inform Cruseor of his visit once he has returned." He gave Farol a tired look. "Very well, I shall write to him tomorrow".
From out of nowhere a hooded a man emerged from the left corner, the only place in the room not lit, his long black trench coat had little effect in hiding the inferno gun strapped to his leg, and the hilt of a power sword was just visible on his left hip. the sign of the Inquisition was plain to see on his black flak amour.
"Why wait my Lord?" the Inquisitor asked in a low, grunting voice, whilst looking at Razhiel with his bright red bionic eye.
The Inquisitor stood there, an aura of confidence and arrogance radiating from him. Razhiel bothered not to draw his weapon, he knew Farol already had his bolt pistol aimed at the Inquisitors head, for he still was an intruder, regardless of his authority.
"I shall not bother to ask how you were able to get here, I only ask you to leave." Razhiel said with a stern voice, showing that he still was the Chapter's Grandmaster at Arms.
"And I will, my Lord, I will, once my questions have been answered." Morax replied with a hint of defiance showing in his voice.
"I believe I was quite clear when I told you that our Chapter Master is away on a campaign, fighting the Archenemy. Perhaps you should follow his example, Inquisitor." Razhiel replied while opening the door.
"Brother, escort Inquisitor Morax please, see to it that he returns to wherever he came from." Razhiel gave a short nod to Farol and sat back down in his chair.
"This is an outrage!" the furious Inquisitor shouted, slamming his fist against the wall.
"I am an Inquisitor of the Ordo Hereticus, I shall not tolerate this insult! You will regret this moment, mark my words!" Morax shouted before storming outside, with Farol only meters behind him.
Razhiel closed his eyes and leaned backwards in his chair, Morax was right, he would regret this moment but for now he had other concerns. After a few seconds he opened his eyes and looked upon the reports that demanded his attention. It had to wait, for now he must rest, Razhiel closed his eyes once more.
Ok, so far so interesting. Only a couple of minor flaws the pedant in me notices, I'll post up the details tomorrow when I'm on my pc again (working on my mobile atm).
I quite like the character of Razhiel, I read him with the same voice in my head as Tornadus so that's good, feels like an Astartes which is something not many people do well, I find that they're often either over-humanised or made into ridiculous, almost robotic creatures, but you seem yo have found the balance.
I look forward to more.
something as this:
"why would you train a monkey in assembling a Bolter?" asked Robuite Guilleman to Donkey Kong.
"Because I can" replied the large ape, while scratching his behind.
"That's the worst excuse I've ever heard!" shouted the Primarch, while leaving the room, pushing a man servant aside in his angry stride.
Don't worry, the errors are not significant ones. But you're right about speech there. If the errors were obvious ones I'd point them out now, its because they're relatively minor that they can wait.
And may I say that you write English very well for one whose native language is not English. We're awkward people and the language matches us
Keep it up.
and I read a lot of books in English. Mainly because I like the language more then Dutch, good way of learning the language. But thank you for the compliment, I do my best
Edit: I've added a small part, basically ending this bit. Now the fun stuff begins!
Here it is! the fun part.
Ow and Corrigan this is what I meant with the twist. I'll include him in my stories but not (or only a little) from his point of view. I hope you like my attempt at trying something different.
He felt how the blade scraped his back, one second later and the Kroot blade would've killed him outright. Razhiel reminded himself to wear a helmet every time he was on a mission from now on.
Razhiel pushed himself upright as hard as he could, while making punching upwards with his fist. He made contact with the Kroot's cheek and felt how the head snapped backwards violently, the enormous force delivered by his momentum to much to bear for the neck, the crack of it breaking seemed deafening as Razhiel got his focus back.
He heard a shout in the distance and could just make out the form of their Chapter Master Martzahal leading another charge, this time directed at the Kroot Shaper, the Kroot leader, and his guards.
"Push forward!" Razhiel ordered his squad over the Vox.
"Yes sir!" replied his brothers over the vox in perfect unison.
Suddenly he felt a searing heat from behind him and as he turned he saw Brother Tiberius using his flamer against some Kroot who were stalking them while hiding in the bushes that surrounded the battlefield, he could hear their screams of agony as the flames burned away their flesh.
He felt how a stray bullet from one of the Kroot guns ricocheted off his power armour, ignoring it he marched forward with his squad closely behind.
They struck without warning, Razhiel was suddenly and violently thrown to the ground and as he spun around to view his assailant he saw a Kroot warrior of a size he had never seen before, for where normally the xenos were slender of build this Kroot was wide, his muscular frame covered only by a loincloth. But Razhiel's attention was mostly drawn by the two axes this warrior held in his hands, and he got back on his feet while drawing his chainsword with his right hand.
The Warrior dashed towards him, flinging his axes wildly, dealing blow after blow forcing Razhiel on the defence, parrying where he could and taking steps back when he couldn't block. The warrior kept on striking without showing any sign of fatigue, and managed to slip a few blows pasts Razhiel defence, and blood new ran from a deep cut on his cheek and the Kroot warrior had managed to penetrate Razhiels' shoulder pad and he felt how his right arm went numb. Razhiel had to seize the initiative or his service to the chapter would end sooner than he had expected.
Razhiel dashed forward, bashing his shoulder hard against the Xeno warrior, who had not expected this and lost his footing. Taking advantage of this Razhiel struck his chainsword hard against the Kroot' leg and heard the warrior scream in pain as it got severed from the rest of his body. The Kroot fell to the ground and Razhiel raised his bolt pistol and delivered one clean shot to the head.
Razhiel scanned the battlefield for his squad but could not find them in the chaos, he didn't want to waste time and immediately opened his Vox channel.
"Tiberius, all green coming to your position sir."
"Barxir, orange, left arm incapacitated."
And the rest of his Scout squad did not respond. Razhiel cursed, he had lost 2 Battle Brothers.
"Tiberius, regroup at Barxir's position, Barxir what are your coordinates?" Razhiel asked.
"Barxir, what are your coordinates? " Razhiel asked again.
A explosion shook the ground and a large cloud of smoke rose to sky, and Razhiel knew that Barxir would never answer.
Razhiel heard Tiberius forming up behind him, and he once again saw the Martzahal leading another charge against their enemy, the Chapter Master seemed tireless and intend to utterly destroy the enemy, his lightning claws crackling with energy, ready to strike down more foes.
"Let's join our brothers in their effort, shall we?" Razhiel said unable to prevent himself from grinning. Tiberius raised his flamer as an answer.
Once again slugs flew around Razhiel from all angles, and Tiberius was pushing his flamer to the limit as he ignited one after another of the enemies positions. The Kroot had dug in deep, deciding that taking the Shadow Angels on in close combat wasn't the right approach.
A Landspeeder exploded mere metres from Razhiel and he could feel the heat from the flames. Mere seconds later another Landspeeder went up in flames. What was happening? Had the Kroot developed some form of anti armour weaponry? Razhiel was puzzled as the Kroot hadn't shown the ability to effectively counter their vehicles before.
"Since when.." Tiberius didn't had the time to finish his sentence, a bright blue energy bolt had removed his head from his body, the corpse falling to the floor with a dry thud.
Tau Battlesuits suddenly emerged from cover, opening fire with their deadly plasma weaponry. Razhiel took cover behind a rock and overlooked the battlefield
The Predators that were providing fire support seemed to explode in an instant, the trap of the Tau was executed to perfection and not one tank remained after thirty seconds.
The Tau focussed their attention on Matzahal and his retinue, who fought on unwavering, assaulting the Battlesuits and taking the fight to them, rendering their long ranged weapons useless.
Razhiel raised his pistol, and carefully took aim as he saw the Pathfinders that marked targets for the Battlesuits, without them this battle could once again be turned in their favour. he fired two times at the pathfinder he could see, the Xenos' head exploding in a blue cloud of blood and pulp. He then stormed towards the pathfinders' position while revving his chainsword, but the pathfinders had fled the scene and all that remained was the headless corpse of his victim, and a dozen Kroot warriors eager to do their part. Razhiel believed he had made his final error.
"For the Emperor!"
The shout took Razhiel as much by surprise as it did the Kroot.
The surprise changed into relief as he saw the Chapter Master charging through the foliage and headlong in the group of Kroot warrior, Razhiel followed suit and assaulted the warrior nearest to him, but soon regretted the decision to fight in bloody melee for his skill lay in ranged combat, not in swordsmanship. The Kroot warrior forced Razhiel onto the defence and he feared that this might be a do-over of the last warrior he traded blows with. Taking the warrior by surprise, Razhiel rolled to the side and raised his bolt pistol, promptly discharging his entire clip into the alien.
Razhiel turned to look at the Chapter Master, but to his horror saw that the man was in difficulties, more Kroot warriors had piled in and now the man was vastly outnumbered, though the Kroot seemed unable to touch him, it was only a matter of time before even Martzahal in all his martial prowess would succumb to fatigue.
Razhiel reloaded his bolt pistol and took aim, firing two shots at a time he fell one after the other of the foul Kroot beasts, their blood spraying on the trees, painting them red.
Razhiel saw how Martzahal stabbed both his clawsinto the last of the Kroot before violently ripping them outwards, tearing the alien's body apart. Martzahal looked at Razhiel and gave a nod as way of thanking him for his help. Shouldn't he be thanking the Chapter Master? Razhiel thought. Suddenly he was thrown in the air and a deafening blast seemed to rip his skull apart, he collided hard with a tree, nearly snapping it. Stars filled his vision and he could just see the shape of Martzahal running towards him before his vision turned black.
Razhiel opened his eyes and found himself out of breath and covered in sweat. He was still in his chair where he had fallen asleep.
Thanks for that.
Don't have time to edit it now but I will as soon as I can .
did you like it?
also: when using a name and an object that belongs to it ( the Kroot's gun in example) when do you end with ' and when with 's (Kroot' and Kroot's respectively)? never got to grips with that rule.
thanks again for the adjustments.