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  1. #1
    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    Ive basically tried to combine the favourites of my sci fi tastes together to create this backstory, so dont be suprised if it sounds familiar. Comments, critique,etc, the usual guff, is most appreciated.


    The year is 3704. War engulfs the galaxy in a titanic struggle for domination between two powerful adversaries, constantly manoeuvring to try and outwit, outfight and outgun its opposition. Whole star systems are razed in the acquisition or denial of resources or landmass between these two opponents, who will stop at nothing to see their foe utterly destroyed.

    In the late twenty fourth century, a nuclear holocaust whipped its way across the face of the Earth, the survivors burying themselves deep into the crust as the very plates heaved under the strain of the bombardment. Whole underground cities flourished as the air above them remained toxic for decades. Faced with mounting populations and inhospitable environments both above and below the cities, two schools of thought polarised themselves into existence for the future of mankind.

    One favoured the transference of consciousness from flesh to machine, engraving synaptic pathways onto circuit boards that bore about as much resemblance to the twentieth century incarnation as a rifle did to a longbow, their minds free of the limits of the human body could now survive anywhere and in any environment.

    The other built a fleet of vast colony ships filled with the best and brightest that the earth could offer, as well as the ultimate in technology. As the fleet of twenty-six colony ships, each containing some one hundred thousand men and women, began to lift off from gargantuan underground hangars, the damage that ravaged the planet became painfully apparent. A thick yellow corrosive fog rolled over the landscape that had been lush green forest and mountain ranges, having long dissolved any organic matter. The ships began the long climb towards the heavens, the blue flares of their engines shining through the soup of an atmosphere. Almost immediately the pilots of the ships received terrible transmissions from their groundcrew. Machines had broken into the compounds and begun massacring the remaining population. Still the colony ships climbed for the stars, but not before ancient tracking systems flared into life at the sudden movement from the surface and readied the fusion warheads that had lain dormant for so long.

    Fully fifteen ships were impacted by the colossal warheads, their crippled structures beginning to accelerate back towards the ground as the remaining nine activated their prototype overlight drives and headed for deep space to begin humanity anew.

    On earth, the newly formed Replicant Coalition quickly spread throughout the planet, the original bulky designs of the constructs that carried their intellects quickly becoming more streamlined and advanced as they threw themselves into rebuilding humanity and its history into a manner as they saw fit. Eventually the wrecks of the fifteen colony ships were recovered one by one, and cannibalised for spare parts and to spy on the possible technology that lay in the hands of their now extremely bitter enemies. Primitive forms of the main faster-than-light drive, Overlight, were reverse engineered by the Replicants along with the planned main form of interstellar travel: Vortex Gates. Designed to eliminate the need for long distance sleeper ships, vortex gates created a gateway from one point in space to another, effectively creating instantaneous travel over many hundreds or thousands of light years.

    Similiarly, smaller versions of the gates, designed for intra-system travel were discovered and quickly put to use. In the centuries before renewed contact with the now-titled Phoenix Alliance, the Replicants scrambled in an ungainly manner for the stars that the colony ships had gracefully fully three centuries before.

    On the opposite side of the galaxy a century after the Great Exodus, in one of the spiral arms almost directly opposite to the one containing the sol system and hence, Earth, the remaining eleven ships dropped out of Overlight to form into clusters to continue to their own star system to create separate colonies. The Phoenix Alliance of the remaining colonists was forged in the fires of bitterness and bloodlust for revenge on those they had laughingly called their brothers in the time where radiation soaked the ground above their heads. The eleven split into three groups of three ships, in order to spread and establish a quick foothold in the area, while the remaining two set up the first Vortex gate in the new area of space, and to stand guard over it in case the Replicants managed to break the sophisticated encryption algorithms that prevented abuse.

    The ships made planetary orbit within weeks, their vast shells being gutted of all useful technology that was ferried down to either terraform planets or in the few lucky cases, to quickly set about increasing the numbers of humans exponentially. Cities were planted like trees across many planets, only for the roots and canopies to meet up, and eventually their trunks too, whole planets covered from pole to pole in a cityscape that was constantly changing, growing and evolving. Genetic engineering allowed the new colonies to adapt to hostile environments, eventually producing the newest form of human: Homo Sapiens Imperator. Ten times the strength of a normal man, with a fully ossified chest cavity, redundancy in almost all major organs and vast improvements to reflexes and nervous system, the new species quickly spread throughout the colonised worlds. The old species allowed their children's DNA profiles to be altered while in the womb, or transplanted into one of many millions of cocoons expressly created for the advanced maturation of Imperator humans; grown from randomly spliced samples of DNA provided by citizens and taught through means of neural link via a small socket behind the right ear.

    Military technology continued apace, and soon vast factories were churning out machines and weapons created with the express desire of destroying the Replicants. Technologies previously thought to be unviable were given free reign of research, resulting in rail rifles small enough to be carried by men and plasma weapons that would unleash the stellar energy of a star at its target. A Necromancy chip was introduced in order to preserve the experiences and knowledge of fallen troopers, the mind at death recorded in an instant and transmitted back to one of the homeworlds for re-insertion into a newly-maturing Imperator.

    By the end of the twenty-ninth century, the Phoenix Alliance spanned fully half of the galaxy, its trade lanes and vortex gate junctions under constant guard by vast legions of troops and ships. Probes were fired off in random directions to find the Replicants. They were not to be disappointed.


    Whaddya think?

    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Pyre's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Phobos@Dec 9 2004, 15:39
    in the few lucky cases, to quickly set about increasing the numbers of humans exponentially.
    [snapback]270768[/snapback]
    Hot.

    "Baby! We gossa get it ON for teh people!"

  4. #3
    LO Zealot The Fifth Horseman's Avatar
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    85 (x4)

    Nice background, Phobos. You could actually make money out of the concept.

    However, yoyu are a bit inconsistent on the number of the surviving ships (in one place saying nine, and later saying eleven), and seem to be a little repetitive (stellar energy of a star - it's liek saying milky milk).

  5. #4
    Senior Member ugluk-bludeth's Avatar
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    reads very smoothly. i like it. (Y)
    wWWwwAaaaAAgggGGGhHHHhhh!!!! = DeAth

  6. #5
    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    147 (x5)

    Where do I say that, TFH?
    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

  7. #6
    Senior Member Wookie's Avatar
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    30 (x1)

    Phobos,
    Your tally of Colony ships are correct:

    - 26 ships (paragraph 4, sentence 2)
    - 15 ships frag'd (paragraph 5, sentence 1)
    - 2 ships setup Vortex Gate (paragraph 8, sentence 3)
    - 3 formations of 3 ships each (paragraph 8, sentence 3)

    I like the background a lot. It draws from a number of sources but you mentioned that up front. Now all it needs is a flawed hero the reader can relate to and then break the surly bonds of gravity for an epic adventure!
    I hear voices...and they don't like you!

  8. #7
    Senior Member Valhallan's Avatar
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    Ya I thought it was good, real good. Captured all the ideas of my favorit Sci Fi movies. Ya some of it sounds like youve stolen ideas from other books and stuffed it into 1 story but than again this is original in it way. You just may be critized for that fact but now adays what really is origanal right? (and I know you mentioned it might seem familiar)

    I thought that tho the way you made it was like it was machines vs humans but than it was like machines vs super humans. I just think that maybe you might wanna make stuff a little bit more clear on whats what. Thats just me I tend to have a bad habbit of grinding into details that may not matter.

    I also like how you make it so each empire you could call em belives in what they belive and you havn't metioned good and bad.

    All in all it's got that Borg, Star trek Matrix Total Annihilation feel (total annihilation is a game)

    I rate it... 9/10 for what you got down right now.

  9. #8
    Son of LO darkreever's Avatar
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    186 (x8)

    its sound a little like total annihilation if you ask me, but thn again that game was great so anything that looks even remotely like it is awesome.
    10\10 in my book, but im at a loss of words to actually say something about it...

    Take my love, take my land, take me to where I cannot stand; I don't care I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.

    "The difference between gods and daemons largely depends upon where one is standing at the time."- Lorgar
    Member of the Fluff Masters Clan

  10. #9
    Member Wilhelm_III's Avatar
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    Pretty good, though if I had known that I could post non-games worhsop fluf here i would have been dong it a while ago... :unsure:

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