Akratils Stand - Warhammer 40K Fantasy
 

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Thread: Akratils Stand

  1. #1
    LO Zealot Blood God's Avatar
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    Akratil crested the mountain side, he needed to get away from the camp for even a few hours, The last week had been full of battle that would push any commander to his limits. The Tau seemed bent on taking this world from the Templar. They landed 1 week ago and had been hammering the city of Adurin since. Akratil was getting 2 dreadnoughts and 1 tactical group dropped off today to reinforce his possition. He figured the Tau were doing the same but he didnt care, even if they doubled their numbers they still wouldnt survive to see daylight the next day. It was all planned out. Now all Akratil had to do was wait. He had had his Scouts dig large pits in the fields surrounding the city.

    Soon all when quiet, No birds, nothing. Akratil Listend closely only to hear the sounds of twigs cracking in the forest, backing up to the bike, he kept a close watch on the forest only to see creatures that resembled huminoid figures whos leathery skin looked like it was stretched over 2 much bone. Akratil lept on the bike and contacted the city warning of an impeding attack. Akratil then tippd the bike on its side and covered it with bushes and brush. He then crept to an outcropping to survay numbers to relay back to base. "So these must be the Kroot I have been hearing so much about, fanatical little suicidal creatures from what ive heard" he pondered as they came out of the forest to creep up the mountain. there were only twelve of them so it must have been a scout party. Better to leave them alone until he saw the bulk of the army. He waited for what seemed like 2 hours until the rest of the army came in view.

    Comming from the trees came 4 Crisis Suits along with what looked like 5 complete fire warrior squads. Suddenly some small rocks fell from the cliff near the bush , quickly akratil snapped his head in the direction, tightening his grip on his sword. Above him on the cliff stood blurry looking tau figures, almost invisible but just barely able to be seen when moving. How many he could not know. All he could do is lay there and wait for the army to pass by. Behind the protection of the tactical squads came 2 more of the Crisis Suits, But these had 2 very large rail guns attached to there shoulders. And imediatly following them came a hammerhead gunship with 1 pathfinder group surrounding it. within 1 hour the entire army passed Akratil and was back in the forest making its way towards the city of Adurin. Akratil waited an hour more until the noise came back to the forest befor he uncovered his bike and sent the message to the city. He would have to be quick if he was to make it there on time.

    The alarm was raised and the Chaplain Grevin Il Vec came stumbling out of his room Hollering Orders to the BloodRite to take there battle positions and prepare to make the Emporer Proud. As the sodiers of the BloodRite checked there amunition they could hear the sound of there Land Raider Crusader moving into place, the same thought went through everyones mind at that moment. Many Tau would die tonight!

    Suddenly Out of practically nowere came a Akratils bike leaping out of the forest, followed by the sound of gunfire on his six, Ducking down and pointing his bolt pistol behind him. He unleashed his clip into the forest as he made his way to the city. All of a sudden he stopped his bike halfway to the city from the forest. He got off his bike and proceeded to pull something from its side. The Tau army was now in site on the edge of the forest looking towards both Akratil and the city. The tension from both sides in the air could have been cut with Akratils blade, Just how he liked it. Akratil pulled out a large shaft and pressed a button on it to watch it quickly extend to a full 8 feet. He then turned to the Tau and with an agressive Sneer He slammed the one end into the ground so it stood strait up. Then both armies watched as the pole let loose the BloodRite Banner and through a loud Powerful voice Akratil spoke.

    "ON MY HONOR AND THE HONOR OF THE BLOODRITE, YOU WILL NOT PASS THIS BANNER, TURN BACK OR BE DESTROYED!"
    A great chear arose from the city as Akratil mad his way to the front gates to lead his army on foot!

    To Be Continued
    (Thoughts, Ideas welcome)
    This is my first story so it may not be very good


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  3. #2
    LO Zealot Blood God's Avatar
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    Akratils Stand Part 2

    A loud whistling sound came forth slamming hevy projectile into the wall from the rail guns, leaving a gaping hole. Akratil ordered the three bike squads to exit out the back of the base through the secret tunnels and attack from the side when the orders given. The Tau stood there ground as the BloodRite rushed in to rip them apart, Boltgun and Plasma rifle traded shots and the vicious Kroot rushed in to meet the BloodRite charge. The kroot crashed into the Bloodrite ranks cutting and slashing trying to thin the ranks of the Templars, but these were seasoned vetrans they encountered. Survivors of over 100 battles. these were the best of the best. And not only did they meet the kroot ferocity, they went beyond it. tearing into the kroot like they were mear civilians.

    the second group of kroot rushed in trying to flank the vetrans, only to see 12 terminators leap from pits in the ground and tear them apart with chainfists and lightning fists. the Tau rush tactics had been thwarted. Akratil then ducked down out of sight and called for a strike. Out of the forest near the edge were all the battle suits and most of the Tau were holding up, the ground Ignited and exploaded the napbomb canisters hidden under the ground that were rigged by the scouts. 2 of the battle suits fell to the explosion with another one burning badly. The Hammer Head slammed into the ground as its hovering device was incinerated, Many of the Tau lay dead from the napbomb, the rest were either burning or undercover.

    The Tau leader Sprang up and Shouted orders trying to get his soldiers under control, they started to rally to him and started to return fire when organized. Not only did the napbomb destroy much of the Tau forces but it also gave the marines valuable time to advance on the remains of the army.

    Akratil Pointed his sword at a Tau leader who was armed with an honor blade and Issued a challenge.

    "COME AND MEET DEATH AT MY HANDS TAU SCUM FOR I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH"

    suddenly the noise of gunfire died down on both sides and a single voice could be heard from across the battlefield.

    "I AM AUN'SHI AND I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENG TEMPLAR, PREPARE YOURSELF FOR I AM A BLADE MASTER!"

    With that the two charged at each other with feverant rage. meeting in the centre to the sound of blade on blade. Thrusting , Parrying not being able to get inside eachothers defences. They battled almost as if in a world of there own, with only the sounds of gunfire, but never a single shell hitting either one. eventually both combatants were becomming less concerned with parrying eachothers blade and more intent on wounding eachother, minor cuts were being ignored. All they were concentrating on was the death of the other. then the final blow came, Aun'shi's left leg had recieved a nasty cut earlier in the fight and now was giving out on him, he went to swing at Akratil but his leg colapsed and his blade came up short leaving his head exposed for but a second. That was all the time Akratil needed, his blade came in from the side in a swooping motion and took Aun'shi's head clear off. The Tau watching the fight looked on in Awe and in fear as there leader fell to the mighty Templar. they had no choice but to fight though because behind them the forest was lit up like an inferno. Gathering around the last Crisis Suits they tried to hold out as long as they could. The screems of the wounded tau still thick in the air, and the smell of burnt flesh were overpowering.

    Akratil sent quardinance to the Landraider, just a few moments later the spot were the Tau were holding out was blasted by Hunter Killer Missles. The remaining Tau left came to see the furry of Akratil as he Hacked and Slashed the remaining Tau until none stood.

  4. #3
    Son of LO BorninDarkness's Avatar
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    A few comments:
    you might want to try writing a bit slower, the first part especially could be written in much more detail.
    Use a spell checker, it makes it a lot more pleasant to read.
    Try not to glorify the SM too much, right now it looks like the Tau don't manage to kill even a single SM whilst getting massacred themselves.
    Stay away from existing special characters, and never make them die if you do use them! It only makes the story unbelievable.
    Rest isn't bad though, work a bit on what I said above and it would be much better .
    Ze titles yez...
    When in doubt,
    Smite.
    <SilverMane> I would trust BID with my life
    <SilverMane> HEIL BID!
    <Adrian-> BiD is Omnipotent; All Knowing, All Powerful!
    <Scary_Troopers> I see you as an optimist, GT. : D

    But what of the midgets!?
    =]Front in favour of Moderation of the Harshest kind.[=


  5. #4
    LO Zealot Blood God's Avatar
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    Thnx, I was tired. the over glorification bit im not sure. This was actually a battle I got into with a Tau player. this was a real battle we had, i filled in things like the leader being away from the army so it didnt seem like just a battle report. My champion actually challenged the leader AunShi and won just like in the story. And sure i lost quite a few marines, reckless fighting like what i did comes at a cost always. Thnx for the tips, ill use them in the future. thnx

  6. #5
    Son of LO BorninDarkness's Avatar
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    Ahh, well if you write a story about things that actually happened in a battle maybe you should post it as a battle report instead, or at least mention that it&#39;s based on an actual battle .
    Ze titles yez...
    When in doubt,
    Smite.
    <SilverMane> I would trust BID with my life
    <SilverMane> HEIL BID!
    <Adrian-> BiD is Omnipotent; All Knowing, All Powerful!
    <Scary_Troopers> I see you as an optimist, GT. : D

    But what of the midgets!?
    =]Front in favour of Moderation of the Harshest kind.[=


  7. #6
    Venerable Old One Phobos's Avatar
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    Never use Bat reps as a basis for stories. They are always hideous conglomerations.
    "It fits like clothes made out of wasps!"

  8. #7
    LO Zealot Blood God's Avatar
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    Meh, i was tired and at work and had nothing better to do. ill make sure the stories much better next time. was there anything u even liked

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