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This is my first attempt at fan fiction, so I may have some details wrong. This is actually a battle I played out to determine who fights the Waaagh! this coming weekend, the results are what happenend when the dice rolled. Instead of a standard battle report, I decided to go for it and write a full description of a battle between Commander Farsight and Ulrik the Slayer.
Any constructive feedback is welcome. Thanks for reading!
The legendary Wolf Priest, Ulrik the Slayer, strode forth from the ramp of the monstrous Land Raider. Servo-motors whined, almost imperceptibly, as he withdrew a blade coated in a shimmering frost. An enormous wolf pelt was draped about his shoulders...
O'shovah narrowed his eyes at his opponent. He had only seen a few of the beasts that bore a skin such as the one worn by his adversary. He felt a short-lived wave of tension as he remembered how small and broken those animals seemed, stuffed into cages for the amusement of the filthy rabble bustling about a noisome market on the fringes of a northern outpost. The graying pelt whipping about in the harsh winds belonged to a beast that easily dwarfed the Tau commander, and seemed to nearly envelop the chosen champion of the Space Wolves. "What manner of human is this", he bemused, "that could slay such a creature with his bare hands?" Commander Farsight knew that the Space Wolves had to slay a wolf; he had heard the commoners call the caged animals, with nothing but their own strength and cunning...
Ulrik stepped forward a few paces, amazed in spite of himself at the suit of armor rising before him. It was obviously well crafted, sleek and appointed with what appeared to Ulrik as a plasma weapon of some sort. Ulrik hefted his own pistol, also plasma-based. He unconsciously adjusted his grip on his own weapon, mentally judging his opponent's actions and reactions, and wondering about the skill he would soon face. Tau are not known for their fighting prowess, but this "Farsight" as he was known, carried a sword called the Dawn Blade. Ulrik knew that one did not carry such a weapon without skill, nay, one would not even have such a blade without first possessing consummate skill. Bellowing across the open plain, Ulrik spoke: "I am Ulrik the Slayer, Wolf Priest of the Space Wolves Chapter, a son of Russ, Primarch to me and my brethren, faithful servant of our undying Emperor! Face me, in mortal combat, for the honor of my clan and yours!"
"I accept your challenge, Priest. You face the commander known as O'shovah, in your tongue the name Farsight will suffice."
Farsight's advanced vision saw the contempt in his challenger's face at the word 'farsight', he hoped that the wolf priest's arrogance would be his undoing. He continued, "Words do not become us, best we begin our--"
With an inhuman growl Ulrik hurled himself forward, the time for bantering at an end. He was far too experienced to fall for the young commander's verbal jabs, although O'shovah was rumored to be at least three centuries old he still seemed inexperienced to the powerful spiritual leader of his faithful Wolves.
As the Space Wolf closed the distance between them, Farsight's suit lifted soundlessly from the ground. He fired his plasma rifle into the priest, and started when he realized that his round had no effect on his opponent's armor.
The Space Wolf continued his charge, howling like his chapter's namesake, and chilling the alien blood of his enemy. He raised his plasma pistol, leveling it at the head of the Tau battlesuit. He fired with cool efficiency, but snarled in disgust as the shot missed his swift target.
In an instant the Tau warrior was upon Ulrik. Farsight fired off two more rounds at Ulrik, one of which glanced off an enormous shoulder pad, the other burning a small hole in the breastplate of the hulking armor.
Ulrik grunted and thundered on as his opponent closed with him. His frost blade arced, the fading light of the day striking off a million sunbursts. Farsight raised his left arm at the last instant as a small disc glowed and flashed, a translucent oval appearing between Ulrik's blade and Farsight's armor. With the steel-spring reflexes of the wolf Ulrik turned his blade and cut into the legs of the battlesuit, a long but shallow gash now running along Farsight's left leg. A loud gasp of the engines and Farsight's jet pack sent him hurtling backwards. Ulrik fired two more shots with his plasma pistol at the retreating Tau. As if cursed by Chaos itself, the gun became hot and sparked, then detonated as Ulrik cast it aside. Spinning on his heels Ulrik closed on Farsight. Farsight raised his plasma rifle and fired, but was deflected by Ulrik's furious charge.
Farsight reeled under impact of the strange glittering blade. His shields held though, and he returned the blow, his Dawn Blade nearly as long as the Space Marine. Ulrik parried and struck low, trying to take the suit's legs away. Farsight brought his shield low, falling for the feint by Ulrik. As the frost blade swung high it sang its death knell towards the center of the battlesuit. Farsight cut the power of his jet packs, the suit dropping low to ground. The Dawn Blade struck forth like a coiled viper, returning instantly to its ready position...
The scene of battle froze, the moments between seconds hanging taut in the air. Even the wind held, the dust swirled from scuffling feet and powerful engines paused. Farsight shifted, then rose as the revered spiritual guide of the Space Wolves stumbled forward, then fell forwards. Farsight could hear the motors in Ulrik's armor whine, and then slowly fall silent. He knew that his adversary's clan members would come to collect the organs necessary to their survival. Logic dictated that he should destroy the fallen warrior; however, he would not, giving his opponent a last honor. The damage to his suit was minimal; his fight gave him new respect for these advanced humans that threatened the edges of the entire Tau Empire. Farsight lifted off the ground, wheeling and flying back toward the transport that bore him to the site of this battle. He cast a last look at the body of Ulrik, Wolf Priest, and ascended the ramp into his ship.
Anyone have any constructive comments? I'd like to write more stuff in the future, if anyone has anything that could help that would be cool.
well that seems really good, very descriptive and knowlegable, but something about it just seems a little.....wrong.....to me, if you know what i mean.Originally Posted by FistofManheim
I hope you carry on writing and I'd be happy to read and/or critique your work in the future for you...
Originally Posted by Ghost22
Thanks for reading it. The "wrong" part, I assume you mean the outcome....? Hey I was surprised too, but that's what the dice told me!
I do want to write more in the future, thanks again for checking it out.
Wow, I really like it, very good for your first piece... Actually, it would be nice if you could cretique my own story Betrayal of the Rose though it is still being written, your coments as I am writing could prove very helpfull.
Hey, thats not bad - one thing - is Ulrik(in this story) dead or still slightly alive? Just a query toward a thing i missed. I'm tired. I need food. I posted a thread here with an excerpt from a story of mine - tell me what u think. Nice work.
Wow im speechless i absolutely loved it.But the ending wasnt the best.If you ever do any more stories or battle scenes would u be so kind to email me a copy of them PLEASE!
Once again i loved it
Was the ending not the best because of the outcome or because I didn't write it very well?Originally Posted by Tycho
Just so I know for the future, if I did something stupid!
Am well it was a bit of both i think but i LOVED the rest of it and once agin if u do anymore please email me a copy.