The Life Of A Commander - Warhammer 40K Fantasy

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  1. #1
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    This is my first story about the Tau, but i'm already writing the next part of it. Do you like it??

    --for the greater good--

    Chapter 1: The beginning.

    “Retreat! Retreat!? Shouted the Imperial-Guard Captain, before a Photongrenade exploded in his face. His last cry couldn’t be heard above the screaming of the other soldiers, who were being killed rapidly by Pulseriffle-fire, coming form a group of hidden Fire-Warriors. After a short while al of the Imperial-Guard had vanished, leaving only dead and wrecked vehicles behind. Except for one little stronghold, which was occupied by a little group of who were still fighting. The Tau force was heading forward, but when they noticed that not all enemy forces had retreated, they called in some Pathfinders to investigate. The Pathfinders investigated and transmitted their findings to force-commander Shas'el Sa'cea Shi Mal'caor Rashi. “We’ve found some remaining troops, Shas’el Shas'el Sa'cea Shi Mal'caor? said the voice in the intercom of Rashi. “Mark them for the Broadsides? said Rashi “And make sure that building is going to be destroyed totally? “We will do it for The Greater Good? answered the intercom and Rashi seemed to be enjoyed with that news. A moment later red dots appeared on the top of the building and with a shout Rashi ordered the Broadsides to fire. “We will finish this battle once and fore all!? He shouted when the Broadsides launched their projectiles towards the building were the enemy soldiers were waiting for a certain death. The Broadsides were firing their Railguns until there was no more then a pile of rubble left of the building.

    “The Greater Good as won again? said the Shas’el through his intercom and a loud cheer went through the ranks of men who had won the day. “We’ve fought courageously Shas’el? said his adviser and companion Aun'el Tolku Or'es Mont'yr Dishry. ?So The Greater Good is victorious again, as it will always be, as long as we battle together, rigth Rashi?? He said with proud in his voice. “Yes my brother, we will live and die fore each other and for The Greater Good. for we have indeed been bonded by the Ta’lissera for eternity.? “Yes well done, to you too Dishry, for this was your first battle and let all your battles be like this and the greater good shall prosper for ever? said Rashi turning towards his troops again. “now take care of the wounded and report back to Headquarters, so that the Aun’o will hear of the good news.? “Thank you commander, I will see you then at headquarters at the meeting? answered Dishry and he then turned towards the devilfish which had just landed near the little encampment, from where the Rashi and Dishry had controlled the battle.

    To be continued…….


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  3. #2
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    I am running away as fast as I can, as I do not want to be on this thread when Inquisitor sees it. I fear my computer may explode. Content-wise, though, I like it. Sorta. You may want to embellish the fight scenes a bit more, and make the dialogue more natural sounding. No self-respecting Tau would say "We will do it for the Greater Good" without punctuating themself. Good beginning, though.
    Si em, tow en can de lach.
    Tak! Tak! Tak ah wan, Tak a lah!
    Mi tow, can de lach.
    Mi him, en tow.

  4. #3
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    I Know my english is crap, I'm dutch so think about it. Here is part two of my story.

    --for the greater good--

    Chapter 2: The new mission.

    “Congratulations? said Aun’o Tau Ko’vash Shi Skan’al “You’ve done very well at the battle for Sha’tyra in the Damocles Gulf? “Thank you? Answered Dishry with the most polite voice he could come up with. “I’m honoured to be in your presence, and I’m delighted to serve The Greater Good under you? “You’ve done well indeed? continued the Aun’o “ And therefore I’ll give you a new assignment.? “What will this assignment be?? Asked Rashi, with a surprised but frightened tone in his voice, because he did not expect to be sent on a second mission that soon. Skan’al had turned to the window and was looking outside, to the buzzing metropolis, the capitol city of the Tau empire. “you’re going to retrieve a lost artefact? Said Skan’al with sadness in his voice. “It doesn’t sound dangerous, but the artefact has been stolen by a group of Orks, who accidentally discovered it.? “But how did …? Said Rashi with surprise in his voice “DON’T interrupt me!? Shouted Skan’al “I want you to understand clearly that this artefact is very important for our people and for The Greater Good!? Skan’al turned back again towards the window and said nothing. “Aun’o Tau Ko’vash Shi Skan’al?? asked Dishry “It’s nothing Dishry, I just thought about all the people who will suffer because of the loss of this artefact. “But what exactly is this artifact Aun’o Tau Ko’vash Shi Skan’al?? asked Rashi. “This artefact is … so secret that I cannot tell you, because all the other Aun’os have forbidden me to talk about it.? Skan’al sat back again behind his desk and continued. “But you will find out once you’ve found it.? “Very well, we will retrieve this artifact for our people and for The Greater Good.? Said Dishry and again with pride in his voice. “But where to begin? Can you give us any information Aun’o Tau Ko’vash Shi Skan’al?? “Yes I can, but it isn’t much. I can only tell you that this artefact has been stolen from one of our sacred planet, Kel’var in the outer-regions of the Damocles Gulf. We suspect that the Orks encountered this planet by surprise and therefore don’t know what this artefact means to us. After their little invasion, we didn’t hear anything from the planet, and it has been 5 days ago from now so you must hurry up. Now go and get your stuff ready, for I have already prepared your army? “Ko’vash Tau’va? said Dishry and Rashi simultaneously, before leaving the room.

    To be continued…

  5. #4
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    and here is part three om my story. it's still in crappy English, but i hope you will forgive me that. dont know when i will post chapter 4

    --for the greater good--

    Chapter 3: A Little Detour.

    “Is everything ready for departure Kor’ui?? Asked Dishry, who was very impatiently walking in circles, the Tau who was checking the cargo. Dishry was totally not pleased with this mission. He knew to little to calculate the risks of such a strange mission. “Yes Aun'el Tolku Or'es Mont'yr Dishry, everything is ready.? “Good, then we will depart.? Dishry turned around and entered the Manta Missile Destroyer and closed the door behind him. He entered the control-room and ordered the pilot to disengage from the planets space-field. “Lay course to Kel’var in the Damocles Gulf, Kor’el Tau’n Y’eldi Droka.? “Yes, sir, course laid in? Answered the captain of the Manta called Vash’ya. And they were off, off to a new world, but they did not knew what was waiting for them on their journey there. When the ship entered orbit Dishry asked Rashi to come to his room for lunch. “I would be delighted Dishry, and I am quite hungry.? They walked together to the dining-room when a little vibration went trough the ship. “Aha, the warp-engines have started.? Said Rashi when they entered the dining room. “So, what do you think that happened to Kel’var?? Asked Dishry while he started eating some of his exotic fruits. “I think, that those Orks were heading for Dal’yth, because there have been more and more Ork-ship spottings in the last few months in that area.? Then a low buzzing sound could be heard as the intercom was switched on “could Aun'el Tolku Or'es Mont'yr Dishry and Shas'el Sa'cea Shi Mal'caor Rashi come to the control-room, there is a message from Aun’o Tau Ko’vash Shi Skan’al for them.? Said the voice of Droka trough the intercom. “O dear, I hope it’ nothing serious? said Dishry who was already walking to the door. With a little movement of his hand he opened the door which wasn’t visible before. “Come Rashi, let our friend Skan’al not wait for us, for he is very impatient with those who prefer to eat then to serve The Greater Good.? “I’m coming, I’m coming? muttered Rashi with his mouth full of vegetables. In the control-room Rashi and Dishry got their message on screen with a live video-transmission. “Greetings Aun'el Tolku Or'es Mont'yr Dishry and Shas'el Sa'cea Shi Mal'caor Rashi. I hope your journey has begun well?? “Yes it has? answered Dishry “And captain Droka has led us save into orbit. But why this honour to be hailed?? “I’m going to change the route to Kel’var a bit, so you can pick up a few passengers and equipment for your mission.? “What planet does the captain have to set course to, Aun’o Tau Ko’vash Shi Skan’al?? asked Rashi who was sitting in the big chair next to the window. “Your going to set sail to Pech, the Kroot homeworld in the Perdus Rift region. I will sent you the co-ordinates. I wish you three gentlemen luck on your journey. Skan’al over and out.? With a little bleep the co-ordinates appeared on the screen in front of captain Droka. The Perdus Rift region is notorious for its pirates and other space-criminals. “Well captain, lay course to Pech then.? Said Dishry who was staring out of the window into the galaxy that lay in front of him and he thought that he would never see the planet Tau again.

    To be continued...

  6. #5
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    I have no problem with your English- I recognize that it's a second language. And I do like the story. Inquisitor, you even get started on one of your murderous spelling tirades here and I'll suspend your accound so fast it ain't even funny. This is a warning so you don't say I'm unfair when it inevitably happens.
    Hmmm, it seems more like 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea in the latest episode- character-wise, anyway. Their speech and stuff.
    Si em, tow en can de lach.
    Tak! Tak! Tak ah wan, Tak a lah!
    Mi tow, can de lach.
    Mi him, en tow.

  7. #6
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    here's a little chapter i've made. after this there will be action so stay tuned

    --for the greater good--

    Chapter 4: Rumours.

    “Well, let us continue our lunch Rashi, for we must not spoil such a lovely meal? said Dishry while he was walking towards the door. “Yes let us do that? said Rashi and he waked after Dishry to the door, but then he waited and turned back towards Dorka and he said to him “Make sure that we’re not going to be surprised by pirates, so therefore you must travel with your shields up and the weapons loaded when we enter the Perdus Rift region.? “Aye, sir? answered Dorka and he gave orders to his weapons-specialist to do as told. “Very well, if you need me, I’ll be in the dining-room? And Rashi turned away and headed towards the door. He met up with Dishry in the corridor and together they walked back to the dining-room in absolute silence, thinking about what has happened. “That’s odd? said Rashi who entered the room and walked to the table. “I wonder what we have to get on Pech? What do they’ve got, that we don’t?? “I don’t know for sure, but I have heard rumours? answered Dishry. He continued while they sat back and were enjoying their meals for a second time “These rumours were about a group of Gue’la auxiliaries, whose ship was found drifting trough space, with almost no survivors onboard. They appeared to be attacked by Orks in the Damocles Gulf region. That’s all I know, but I have the feeling that we will find out more soon.? “Hhhmmmm.? Agreed Rashi with his mouth full, but continued “I’ll go for a nap now, I always get tired form space travelling, so if you will excuse me, I’ll be in my room if you should need me.? “A wise plan.? Agreed Dishry with Rashi and they both walked to their rooms for a good nights rest.

    To be continued…

  8. #7
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    and here is atlas some action have fun

    --for the greater good--

    Chapter 5: The Battle Commences.

    “Good morning Rashi.? Dishry had already arrived in the dining-room and was enjoying his meal. “Good morning to you Dishry, I see that you woke up early?? “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep very well, so I decided to walk around a bit. We entered the Perdus Rift region a Dec ago and … Whatta!?? An enormous tremor went through the ship, followed by the sounds of explosions. Rashi rushed to the intercom, but the voice of Dorka was already speaking trough the intercom. “Sir we’re being attacked, I don’t know by who, but they’ve got three little ships and are circling around us. We are already returning fire.? “Well done Kor’ui? answered Rashi with a calm voice. “We will be on the bridge in a moment. Try in the mean time to hail them, and ask them why they attack us. Although I don’t expect any answer.? “Yes sir? Rashi closed the intercom and headed towards the door. “Come Dishry let us have some fun with a couple of pirates.? They went to the bridge and saw a magnificent spacefight between the slow but big manta and the fast but little pirate spacecrafts. “They’re to fast to hit with our torpedoes and missiles so we can only use our lasers, Kor’ui? Said the weapons-specialist to Dorka. “Have you done as I asked? asked Rashi, Dorka. “Yes Shas'el Sa'cea Shi Mal'caor Rashi, I did as asked, so when we entered the Perdus Rift region, I put the weaponsystems and the shieldgenerator online, and it saved us as you can see now, from any damage at all. They didn’t answer us by the way? “So we don’t have any damage Kor’ui?? Asked Dishry, who was very excited about the fact that they were being attack by pirates “No Aun’el we only …? “Sir I’m picking up signals of a fourth ship closing in on us fast!? Said a Kor’la, who was controlling the radar, with panic in his voice. “What kind of ship is it?? Asked Dorka, who was getting a little worried now.

    To be continued…

  9. #8
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    Looking good, any ideas where this guy is headed.

  10. #9
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    and here is the next part with the so much wanted action in it. ( dont expect to much of it though )

    --for the greater good--

    Chapter 6: The Battle.

    “It’s a big spaceship, it looks Orkish to me Kor’ui. It’s a cruiser and they are heavily armed? “What do you suggest we should do Shas’el?? Asked Droka who was already sweating. “Relax Droka, our weapons are strong and our armour is thick, so trust on our technology and we will win this battle for The Greater Good!? The moment Rashi said this, the beeping of a weapon being locked on the Manta could be heard on the bridge. “Hold on! The cruiser is shooting!? cried Droka out and he fell to the floor when the plasmacannon-shot, hit the hull of the Manta. And another shot hit the hull and a large shock went through the ship, but without inflicting damage, for the Tau shields were absorbing the impact. “Return fire now!? Shouted Droka who was getting really angry about the fact that they were being attacked without reason. Four missiles left the Manta and headed towards the Orkish cruiser. The missiles hit the engines and exploded with a big flash, but without sound for space is a vacuum. Although the missiles inflicted damage, the cruiser was still heading towards the Manta. Then the cruiser was close enough to be targeted by the Railguns and so they propelled shot after shot towards the cruiser, hitting it on several spots, but doing no damage. Then Rashi broke the silence by concluding that it doesn’t work. “I think it would be wise if we would ask for some assistance? “I agree.? Said Dishry and he turned towards the communicator and asked him were the nearest Tau Sept or spacefield was. ?The closest is the Tau Sept Dal’yth, Aun’el. Shall I send them a SOS messages?? “Yes, that would be wise. Although I’m not sure if they will reach us within time.? Dishry turned back again towards Droka and asked him if there would be any chance to destroy the enemy cruiser. “No, there is no chance at all. We can only defend ourselves long enough and wait for backup.? “So be it!? they were interrupted by Rashi “But in the mean time we have to make sure to survive.? “The ship is within shooting range of our Ion-cannons Kor’ui, shall I fire them?? It was again the weapon-specilist who was getting a little nervous now too. “Yes, keep firing to save some time.? With a large vibration going trough the ship, the enormous Ion-cannons fired and made the cruiser to stop and wait just outside the shooting range of the Manta’s Ion-cannons. Dishry, who was getting a little bit nervous asked Kor’ui Droka if they could escape the big cruiser. “No, no chance again.? Said Droka with sadness in his voice. “For they’re going to board us.?

    To be continued…

  11. #10
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    and again i've made another part. the ship is jsut about being boarded so hang on thight for the next part, where the battle gets very bloody (mmmmmmmmm just love it )

    --for the greater good--

    Chapter 7: The Boarding Commences

    “They’re closing in on us again, Kor’ui? even the radar-operator got a little tense now, but the Orkish cruiser was only a short distance away and was indeed closing in on the fast. “Keep shooting at them? said Droka and then he walked to the communicator. “Any news?? he asked, although he knew there wouldn’t be any. “No, Kor’ui, they haven’t answered us, but there might be a warp-storm between us and Dal’yth, although I’m not sure about that.? “Very well, keep trying.? And Droka headed for the intercom. “Everyone to the fighting stations and prepare to be boarded.? Then he sounded the alarm and switched the ships-systems to code-red. “How long will it take before we are being boarded?? Asked Rashi while he was stretching his muscles and cracked his knuckles. “I’m in for a fight!? “don’t get to excited Rashi.? Said Dishry. “fighting onboard a ship, differs from fighting in a forest or open fields.? “I know that, but haven’t we trained on this in our battle-domes and I think that Kor’ui Droka has had some encounters with pirates before, and he is still alive. Therefore I think we are save. And if we are not, we will die for The Greater Good, knowing we died serving it!? “Well, I wouldn’t …? tried Droka to say, but he was interrupted by the communicator. “They are hailing us Kor’ui!? “On screen!? Shouted Kor’ui who tried to get his nerves back under his control again. The creature that appeared on the screen was indeed an Ork and the Tau had to make sure, not to show their disgust. “Hullo, you stoepid little Tau people. We’r ‘ere ta take over yer shupy? “Are you? Said Droka, who was filled with disgust for this filthy creature. But he had his nerves under control now, as every good Tau would have, when facing his enemy. “What are you doing in our territory and why should you board our ship?? He continued without moving a single muscle in his face. But the Ork laughed out loud and closed the transmission. “Well, it’s nice to know who we will be facing in the upcoming battle, and it would be better if we helped with defending this ship, right Dishry?? “Yes, I agree Rashi, let us take up our weapons and prepare ourselves.? They both walked out of the control room and headed for the armoury and left Droka behind. When they walked away, the last thing they heard, was Droka order to keep fire all the weapons they had, and a second later a little tremor went trough the ship when all the missiles were launched, the manta carried with her. “Droka is not very happy with this battle, is he?? Asked Dishry, while he was putting on his armour. “No, he isn’t, but that’s not strange for he has had to many encounters with Orks which ended all badly.? “Well then we’d better give him some confidence back, shall we?? And Dishry step out of the armoury fully armed and armoured, followed by Rashi. Rashi was also armed with a large two-handed sword, just like Rashi. They were both masters with the blade. They went with a group of Shas to the deck where the Orks would enter the ship and they already heard the Orkish cruiser locking on their Manta. The two groups of Shas had already thrown up some barricades and they joined them in the cover. The air-hatch of the Manta was locked so they heard the Orks banging on the hatch and they ever heard the faint sounds of Orks arguing on how to enter the Manta. “Da door is closed, lets bash it!? “Naa, blow et up!? “O just bash it wil’ ya!? Then the sounds of axes and swords could be heard on the deck as the Orks tried to break through the sealed door. Then the sound ceased and the Orks began to argue again. “We can’t get in!? “Lets blow et up!? Then they heard a click and then the sound of heavy feet running. “Duck!? Shouted Rashi just before the door was blown out. “Ko’vash Tau’va!? screamed Dishry and all the Fire Warriors answered him with deafening blasts of their Pulse Rifles.

    To be continued…

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