Bizarre Death.

This came to me in a dream. No offense is intended though the targets cannot read and shouldn’t find out about this.

The Trigoniak System. M41

Lord Kaskerus of the Black Legion stared at the view screen on the bridge of his flagship the Black Night, and smiled.
“The Imperial forces flee before our might, their false God will do nothing to hinder our revenge!?
The augur, a bound daemonic probe more powerful than a blessed signum of a loyalist vessel showed a full Imperial battle group in full retreat, Cruisers and Battleships escorted transports from the world, fleeing towards the safe haven of the Cadian system.
“Fools, their lives mean nothing, the planet and what it contains are our prize! A weapon to tear the hearts from their chests? the Chaos lord spoke quickly with a hint of frenzy in his tone. The slave creatures on the bridge remained motionless hoping to escape his moods, which shifted as quickly as the blinking lights on their consoles.
Their inactivity did not save one of them however; the lord turned ad kicked one in the chest savagely, crushing it. He stared as if enraptured by the flow of blood gazing into it until the flow stopped and he appeared to lose interest.
“Can we scan the planet yet?? he asked, his voice a hiss.
“My lord yes? replied one of the crewmen bonded into his console.
“Then why has it not been done? the voice was silky but tinged with menace.
“At once Lord Kaskerus? the creature replied, beginning the scan of the planet. The Lord did not seem perturbed by the delay until the scan was completed, another swing in mood.
“There is no creature with higher brain function than a Vroxxen beast on the surface sir, or under it?
“Excellent, begin deployment of my Glorious forces?. The Lord spun and left the room, punching another mutant in the throat as he left, just because he could.


Kaskerus contemplated his objective as he moved through a deserted Imperial Hive, his bike growled underneath him, the daemon entities controlling it singing a chant of woe and death most pleasing to his ears. It was known as the Bellen’s device and he had been searching for it for the last 400 years, consumed with his quest for a machine with the power to open warp tears on command of the user. He would open a new chaos waste over Terra and rule the universe as Horus had failed to do and as Abaddon had failed to do 13 times now. The pun ‘Eye of Terra’ appealed to him and he began to laugh aloud.
There was nothing to stop him now, his coterie of chosen rode with him, a wave of death and pain rolling forward. He had left the majority of his forces in their Rhino’s 5 miles behind, there was no opposition so he felt completely at ease. Only his chosen and his pet Land Raider the ‘Kaserkan’ named for him were with his ride.
Unfortunately for Kaskerus there were life forms in the vicinity, dangerous and unpredictable ones traveling in packs. The reason for the withdrawal of the Imperial fleet. In his arrogance he had presumed it as a response to his arrival. His arrogance would prove costly.
A crowd of people barred the way ahead and Kaskerus was shocked. He made a mental note to lower the entire crew of the Black Night into molten copper while alive and charged. The opposition did so too and began to chant.
“ Ere Bey, ‘Ere Bey, ‘ERE BEY, ‘ERE BEY?
Approaching closer Kaskerus saw the nature of his foe more clearly, they were humanoids of all different sizes and shaped united in their wearing of a hat, a hat of brown tartan. Burberry a memory engram identified it as.
They bore a variety of weapons, broken bottles and baseball bats seemed a favorite but primitive firearms were distributed too. Atop a nearby car their leader spoke out “GET THEMS BASKARDS INNIT? he shouted and the horde of what could only be Chav’s advanced. The swarmed towards the bikers and Kaskerus took great delight in cutting through them, broken bottles scratched on his Daemon armour although a rain of baseball bat thwacks and bottling’s had halved his chosen in strength. Kaskerus moved towards the leader and depressed his bolter triggers, a hail of bolts shot out tracers lighting up the air as they sped through the air. Kaskerus had seen Ork’s come apart under such a barrage as this and was astonished to see his target unscathed, the huge numbers of rings on its fingers and the 18 necklaces around its neck had protected the leader from harm (4+ bling invulnerable save) and now it drew forth a weapon, a chromed shotgun glimmering in the light. The shot from it hit Kaskerus in the upper chest, he limped from the battle watching his chosen fight until at last Aspiring Champion Vorkalos was felled by the arrival of several Chav’s rolling downhill on some crude looking engineless vehicles and slamming into him. The vehicles were wire frame with rickety wheels and another engram identified them as shopping trollies. (carts to the US)
Leaving the battleground Kaskerus called in his troops only to be met by an unexpected reply from his lieutenant.
“Sorry sir, some infiltrators managed to remove the tracks from our Rhinos, they have been replaced with breeze blocks and the hubcaps have also been stolen?
Kaskerus cursed loudly he had just made it back to his forces when he began to hear a dull whine.
“Scooter riders!? he yelled, “take cover?
The riders broke upon them ridding around and around them cursing in their crude language several bore purity seals bedecked with a single rune ‘L’ and Kaskerus knew these to be the most fearsome of all.
Things looked bleak for Kaskerus as the Chavs closed in for the kill. For they had set aside their hatred with the Bae Clan and now both parties swarmed in, elite units with Burberry socks in addition to hats bore Molotov ****tails and the Football hooligan genus was beginning to make its presence felt, mammoth Chav’s bred for war. All were coordinating with small silver devices, many sending pictures to each other as they ganged up on Black Legionnaires.
Kaskerus died laughed at and alone, a fitting punishment.

The plan of the old ones came to fruition the Bellen’s device safe in the heart of a territory controlled by a ferocious subspecies. Of little intelligence, but great strength.

Moral of the story: Chavs’s are hard don’t mess with them